Starlight
by isabelle896
Summary: Not everything in Forks was as it appeared, and it seems that everyone has a secret to hide. Lucy just wanted to fit in; be normal. A slip of her thoughts cause a few people to realize that she may not be as normal as she acts. Jasper/OC.
1. Chapter 1: Map Of The Problematique

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own Twilight, or much of anything. I'm just a fan._

**A/N Jan 2013**:_ I am currently going through and editing all of the chapters before uploading the final chapter.  
_

**Chapter One:**** _Map of the Problematique_**

* * *

_I want to be free  
From desolation and despair.  
And I feel  
Like everything I sow  
Is bein' swept away. _

_Muse - Map Of The Problematique_

* * *

Rain pounded loudly against the roof of classroom number 146 as students sat around listening to the teacher drone on about American History. Two tall boys sat side by side in the back of the room, not paying much attention as they wrote notes to one another. A row behind them on the opposite side of the room sat two girls doing similar. A tall girl with curly dark blonde hair giggled at something on the note, glancing over to the two boys, while a shorter girl with long black hair rolled her eyes, snickering.

"Do you girls find something about the battle of Galveston particularly amusing?" The teacher asked, the blonde girl immediately frowned, glancing up with a look of disdain and fear flashing behind her eyes.

"Only your dismal portrayal of it." The dark haired girl muttered under her breath, causing her blonde friend to break in to giggles.

"What was that, Miss Louhi?" The teacher frowned, walking down the center of the classroom where a large walkway was cleared between the two rows of desks.

"Were you _there_, Mrs. Gripling? Did you experience the battle yourself?" Miss Louhi, the dark haired girl asked, the corners of her full lips tugging upwards in a smirk ever-so-slightly. The class watched with baited breath.

"What are you playing at?" Mrs. Gripling inquired; her patience was wearing thin. Her black and white grey hair was pulled tightly back in to a bun, tugging at the hairline around her face.

"I have read more accurate portrayals of battles on the back of cereal boxes than out of your mouth." The girl said flippantly, her elbows folded on the table with her hands latched innocently under her chin.

"Very well, Lucy. Since you seem to think of yourself as an expert on history; I will be administering projects to you all. Due Monday morning. You can thank Miss Louhi." The teacher said icily.

"Oh yes, what better way to learn about history than by having your students teach you." The girl said in response. The teacher spun back around in time to see that Lucy was now writing on her paper innocently.

"Thanks a lot, Luce." The blonde girl groaned, despite the fact that she was practically brimming with laughter.

"Don't worry, I've-" The dark haired girl began to say, when the teacher laughed form the front of the class.

"I will be choosing your partners." The teacher added dryly, her wicked grey eyes settling on the pale dark haired girl.

"You know I am horrible at history; I don't know anything!" The blonde girl whispered frantically.

"I'll make you a note-card for when you work with your partner, don't worry." The dark haired girl frowned, her eyes looking angrily at the teacher.

"Lucy, Jessica and _Jasper_, on the Battle of Fredericksburg." The teacher said finally. The dark haired girl felt her heart fall as she looked over to the table on the other side of the room. The blond haired boy glanced up from his notes that he had been passing to the boy with short curly hair, glancing back to her briefly with a frown. Her eyes then wandered up to a brown haired girl a few rows forward; she could almost sense her excitement. Jessica had fancied Jasper Hale from the moment he had stepped foot in the school.

"I'm sorry." The blonde girl whispered apologetically.

"I expect you to perform skits, that are factual and accurate." The teacher said brightly as she sat at her desk. The bell rang and Lucy frowned. She groaned inwardly as she stood up to approach the blonde boy, but was beat by Jessica, her brown ponytail bouncing eagerly.

"I'm so excited to work with you, Jasper! You're so smart!" Jessica said brightly, her head bobbing with each movement.

"Yes, Jasper. You're just so _smart_." Lucy sighed in a dreamy voice, clutching her hands to her chest. The boy with curly dark hair began laughing lightly at her.

"Lucy, you wouldn't know someone of any smartiness if they hit you over the head with a book." Jessica said firmly. The two boys watched as the dark haired girl fought to maintain a serious face.

"You're right, Jessica. I would have absolutely no idea about a person of any _smartiness_, even if they hit me over the head with a book." The dark haired girl said smoothly, causing the dark haired boy to further erupt in laughter while getting a dark look from Jessica.

"So when do you want to get together, Jazz? We can do it at my house, but my mom only lets me have one person at a time." Jessica said, blocking Jasper's way out from his seat.

"I would suggest doing it outside during lunch; I don't think I can take any of your cheap perfume in close quarters." Lucy said, folding her arms firmly.

"But it will be cold and wet." Jessica frowned, pouting as she looked at Jasper.

"I like Lucy's idea. We'll do it outside at lunch." Jasper spoke for the first time. He had a smooth voice, with a slight southern drawl. Lucy smirked at Jessica who looked thoroughly rotten as Lucy disappeared out of the classroom.

"That was great!" Lucy heard someone laughing behind her. She turned curiously to see the tall, broad boy from class.

"Yeah, I'm still trying to figure out how to notice someone's smartiness." Lucy said with a grin, scratching her head slightly. "Maybe she can tell me."

"I'm in Sam's group; I don't mind doing extra work for her." The boy said politely.

"We've been friends since I moved here; she's a great girl... but she is absolutely deplorable at remembering anything remotely factual." Lucy said appreciatively. "I suppose if I glued pictures of hot movie stars in to her text books and made her think that they were the soldiers, she may remember it more."

"Would that really work?" He laughed boldly.

"I doubt it, she'd probably forget how to read and just look at the pictures." Lucy snickered, rolling her eyes. "But thank you; I'm a bit of a history nut, so we haven't had problems working together; but this teacher is going to be the end of me."

"I think she gets her facts out of comic books." He offered. She laughed brightly, shaking her head.

"Yes, how she got through college is a mystery. Though back then I suppose the expectations were lower, and there wasn't a whole lot of history back in the ice age for her to worry about knowing." Lucy smirked as she walked towards her next class, which the large boy was also in.

"I'm Emmett, by the way." He told her politely.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Emmett. I'm Lucy." She said grinning up at him briefly before glancing around the hall. Emmett and Jasper had moved there two years prior with their large adoptive family, and had barely spoken a word to anyone out of choice, though every girl in the school had followed them around at some point.

"You're not too bad. Most of the girls here seem crazy." He told her with a laugh as he looked ahead in the hall. Lucy stood on her toes to see a girl following around his younger brother eagerly.

"I think it's something in the water they're drinking. I moved here three years ago, and everyone was just as crazy then." She offered casually, grinning at the small girl chasing after the poor bronze haired boy. "If I ever had a daughter, I would not name her Jessica, it seems to be a cursed name."

"Oh?" He laughed, glancing down to the smaller girl.

"That girl chasing your brother Edward around, she's a junior now; she's gone after every boy in this school. Her name is Jessica. The girl in our History class that is Jasper's number one fan is also named Jessica." She explained as he held open the door to her classroom.

"I will remember to stay away from girls with that name." He chuckled to himself and walked across the room to his seat, while Lucy took her chair towards the front.

Lucy pulled her history book out and began flipping through it idly to find the short paragraph that mentioned the subject of her project. She had always been a great history nut, preferring to get lost in the past rather than thinking about the present or future. She didn't really need the book to remember facts from that battle; more than anything she was dreading spending her entire lunch with Jessica Jones and the subject of her most recent obsession.

* * *

**A/N:**_ Let me know what you think. Thanks for reading! :D_


	2. Chapter 2: Camisado

**Chapter Two:**_** Camisado**_

* * *

_It's not so pleasant  
And it's not so conventional.  
It sure as hell ain't normal  
But we deal, we deal._

_Panic! At The Disco - Camisado_

* * *

The bell for lunch rang much sooner than Lucy had anticipated. Her English resembled a battlefield of black and blue ink. Frowning, she threw her books in to her bag and exited the room. A boy a few inches taller than her ran around her as she exited.

"Hey Luce, You goin' to the dance next Saturday?" The boy asked, his dark hair falling in to his brown eyes.

"That depends, are you asking me?" The slightly shorter girl asked with a grin as she walked towards the cafeteria.

"Yes." He grinned in response, pushing open the door for her.

"Then no, I'm not going. I think I'll wash my hair, or something like that that girls these days enjoy doing so much." She said with a laugh, walking towards the lunch line with her book bag over her shoulder haphazardly.

"Why must you hurt me so!" He cried out theatrically. She laughed, rolling her eyes.

"Don't you remember what happened the last time I agreed to go with you to a dance?" She smirked, grabbing a slice of pizza as she walked down the line. He walked behind her with his tray. She snickered at the memory of the dance.

"It isn't my fault that Jessica tripped and spilled punch on your dress." He countere quickly.

"No, it was _hardly_your fault." Lucy rolled her eyes with a sardonic laugh.

* * *

_"I'm only coming with you because you were too pathetic to get another date." Lucy said firmly, adjusting the top of her dress; it clung to her figure more tightly than she had hoped for, but the sales woman had promised it looked good. She had never cared much for fashion, so long as something looked good it was fine with her._

_"I didn't see you getting any other dates." Matt snickered at her, his shaggy hair was pulled back in to a stylish pompadour that would have made greasers jealous._

_"Perhaps that is because I don't like dancing." The dark haired girl countered as they stood besides the punch bowl at the prom. It was then that Jessica Jones appeared, her date a tall man with waving blonde hair. Lucy recognized him as one of the football players, a likely target for her affection._

_"Of course you don't like dancing, that's because you can't." Jessica snickered, grabbing a glass of punch. She turned to walk away snidely, but a mysterious foot stuck out, causing the brunette to trip, her bright red punch spilling entirely over Lucy's new green dress._

* * *

"If I remember correctly, it was entirely your fault." Lucy snickered, walking away from the lunch line.

"Po-tae-toe, po-tah-toe." He shrugged with a laugh. Matt had been one of the first people for Lucy to befriend when she transferred to Forks her freshman year. He and Sam had been eager to welcome her in to their small group of friends.

"Oh... I've got to work with Jasper and Jessica for a history project." Lucy cursed under her breath as she watched Jessica eagerly waltz out of the cafeteria without food. "Wish me luck."

"Good luck." He laughed loudly as she walked towards the doors leading to a small courtyard.

Emmett and Jasper sat quietly at a table under an awning, while Jessica stood across from them batting her eyelashes and flipping her hair with such force that Lucy had to wonder if the reason Jessica did so poorly in class was due to focusing so much on her hair flipping technique. She sat down with a frown across from Emmett. He was snickering at something.

"Oh great,_ you're here_." Jessica proclaimed loudly. Lucy smirked at Emmett's less than quiet snickering. Jasper looked almost pained as Jessica took a seat besides him at the round table.

"I was thinking it would be really cool if we could dress up; I have a cool old style dress." Jessica said as she 'subtly' inched closer to Jasper. Lucy glanced up with a smirk at Jasper; Emmett was whispering something she couldn't hear, but he looked absolutely uncomfortable. "But I don't know what you guys would wear."

"I've got some old war uniforms." Lucy offered without even thinking. The three teens looked up at her curiously, confusion written plainly across Jasper and Emmett's faces.

"Of course _you_ would have old war uniforms." Jessica rolled her eyes, leaning over to Jasper, inches from him as she started to say something.

"Why do you have old war uniforms?" Emmett asked her curiously, cutting off Jessica before she could speak.

"Because she's a freak that actually _likes_ stuff like that." Jessica smirked, rolling her eyes in an annoyed fashion.

"I've always been inexplicably in love with the Civil War; my mother always said I would have been a soldier back then if they had let women in." She explained with a grin that lit up her face; if there was one thing that she loved, it was the Civil War. Not even Jessica's comments could ruin her enjoyment. "My mother used to work for a Museum in Galveston, so I got a lot of old war memorabilia."

"You lived in Texas before you moved here? I can't even hear an accent. When I first met Jasper I could hardly understand him." Emmett laughed, patting Jasper on the back.

"I'm from Texas, Emmett; not Alabama." Lucy said with a laugh, putting a slight twang to her tone when she spoke it. "I try not to sound southern; Everyone thinks you're uneducated if you're from the south."

"I think they're cute. You should have heard Jazz's." Emmett laughed, patting Jasper once more. Lucy was confused at how roughly he was patting him, but didn't bother dwelling on it.

"Will you two stop flirting so we can get this project done. I don't know about you, but I find history to be a bore. We could just let Lucy do it, and we'll-" Jessica began smoothly, sidling back over to Jasper.

"I find history to be fascinating. There is no reason to make Lucy do it on her own." Jasper said sharply. She jumped away from him with a look of pure shock that he would have said anything that could remotely be conceived as 'standing up for' the dorky girl that she despised.

"Don't be such a namby-pamby." Lucy frowned at Jessica. "Stop trying to pass the buck and just do your work."

"Don't worry, Luce. Jazz is ... what did you always say..." Emmett looked deep in thought as he watched Jasper. "Someone to ride the river with?"

"What?" Lucy burst out laughing boldly. Jasper frowned at Emmett, and Jessica looked thoroughly confused. "I haven't heard that in years."

"No, I don't imagine you would have." Jasper said darkly, pulling notes out of his bag. Lucy was smiling as she reached in to her bag to pull out a notebook.

"These were the notes I wrote down while in English." Lucy held the sheet of paper out to Jasper.

"Here." Jasper handed her his curtly, while Jessica sat with a sour frown.

"You have very elegant handwriting for a man." Lucy mused as she read the neat script. Emmett snickered, while Jessica glowered.

"Thank you." He said under his breath as he read over her notes.

"These look good, though Lee's army only had 72,500 men engaged, and the cavalry was under Major General James Ewell Brown Stuart, or better known as Jeb Stuart." Lucy said looking over his notes before handing them over to him.

"I think I know my facts." Jasper frowned, handing her back her notes.

"I think I know _my_ facts." Lucy returned firmly. The blonde boy looked up at her with a glare.

"All right you two; how about we just leave that out of the project." Emmett said quickly as he jumped up, waving his hand between the two teens.

"But I'm right." Lucy said through gritted teeth. She knew she shouldn't have gotten so riled up over it, but he wasn't exactly being innocent. He said that she was wrong; she _knew_ that she wasn't.

"No, you're not." Jasper responded just as tensely as she had. Jessica seemed almost fearful as she looked between the two.

"It's just history you guys, it really doesn't matter. Who cares anyways?" Jessica offered, though she audibly gulped as the two turned their dark looks from one another to her.

"You don't need to act like a know-it-all constantly, Lucy." Jessica offered. "So what if Jasper thinks you're wrong; just give it up. Everyone knows you know everything about history."

"Thank you, Jessica." Lucy said smugly as she looked down at her notes, writing down a couple of random facts she could come up with.

"Well, Jasper looks like he actually has a life. Unlike you, who probably sits at home looking at some stupid civil war shrine on Saturday nights. It's hardly his fault if he can't be as pathetic as you are." Jessica shrugged. "It's no wonder your mother left you."

"I don't know where you're hearing this scuttlebutt from, but I suggest you check your sources before you run your mouth off and open the ball." Lucy said icily, standing up from the table. She pulled a pen from her bag and quickly wrote down something on the top of her note paper before handing it to Jasper. "I'm out. Call me if you need to talk about anything."

"What?" Jessica choked out, confusion written plain on her face. Jasper was frowning, while Emmett laughed boisterously. Lucy angrily dumped her full tray in to the trash as she entered the cafeteria. Furiously, she stalked to the table where she usually sat and plopped besides Sam with her arms folded beneath her head.

"Uh oh, What happened?" Matt asked cautiously as he looked across the table at her.

"_Jasper Hale_," Lucy spat out in a disgusted tone. "Is the most imbecilic man I have ever had to work with."

"_Jasper_ is the one that has you in this horrible mood?" Sam looked confused. "I know he's not the nicest, but I thought Jessica would be worse."

"They're both perfectly horrible. He actually had the audacity to tell me that I was wrong!" Lucy complained, hitting her head against the table. "ME! I am never wrong."

"What?" Sam laughed out, Matt was snickering across from her, as was their friend Amber who sat besides Matt.

"I'm sorry, Lucy. But you're not right all the time." Amber said with a laugh, pushing a short strand of brown hair out of her eyes.

"Yes, I am." Lucy told them stubbornly, thankful when the bell rang.

* * *

Rolling over in her bed, Lucy groaned. Despite it being a famously overcast day outside the bright light shone in through cracks in the light curtains. Her room was modestly decorated: A large quilt over her bed, a couple of pictures of friends, a bed stand with a lamp, and a closet. Begrudgingly, she stood up and grabbed clothes for the day. It was only Saturday morning; she had no plans other than to stay at home and read.

Stepping on to the porch on her way to the kitchen she grabbed the paper, quickly jumping back inside from the chilly January air. She dropped the paper on the couch before grabbing the previous day's paper from the coffee table. With a small yawn she began crumpling the old paper and stacking small chunks of wood in the hearth. Within five minutes a good sized fire had started; it would only take an hour to warm up the rest of the house if she was lucky.

Bowl of cereal in hand, she sat at the table, propping the news paper up as she read it. There wasn't much of interest; it was more something to fill the time. Jessica had been right; she really was pathetic and had no life. She was about to put her bowl in the sink when her phone rang, an unfamiliar number flashing on the caller ID.

"Hello?" Lucy answered the phone curiously, wondering who was calling her. She rarely got calls.

"Hi, is this Lucy?" The voice asked. Lucy frowned; even over the phone she could tell who it was. The deep, smooth tone sounded like rich, warm honey.

"Jasper?" She asked with a frown; she hadn't really wanted to deal with him telling her that she was wrong this early in the morning.

"Yes. I just wanted to apologize for not believing you yesterday; you were right about the numbers." His voice said. She grinned broadly, suddenly not dreading the conversation.

"Oh, It's all bosh anyway. I take it too serious. Jessica just drags me out." She said casually, setting her bowl in to the sink as she walked in to the living room to check the fire.

"She seems to do that to everyone." She heard him chuckle on the other line. She grabbed a stoker and began pushing the wood around.

"Emmett and I were coming in to town later, and I thought I'd ask if you wanted to work on the project without Jessica." He told her. She could hear voices in the background, though she couldn't hear what they were saying. She heard him hiss something to whoever was talking.

"Sure, that would be great." She said politely, returning the grate in front of the flames to keep it from hitting the carpet. "Do you guys want to stop by my place, or meet elsewhere?"

"We can stop at your place; I must admit, I would like to see your uniforms." He told her, almost sounding sheepish.

"Of course!" She told him, realizing why he probably wanted to meet up; it gave her a strange feeling of excitement to talk about the uniforms with someone else, even if it was the last person she had expected to invite over for that reason. Perhaps he was as crazy about the civil war as she was.

"We'll probably come in to town in an hour or so. Will you be home?" He asked curiously.

"Yeah. Do you know where my house is?" She asked.

"Off of fourth?" He said. She was shocked that he had known, though she tried to remind herself that in a small town, it was inevitable that everyone knew where everyone else lived.

"Yes!" She said brightly, perhaps a bit more brightly than she should have in an attempt to conceal her shock and confusion.

"We'll see you later, Bye!" He said.

"Bye." Lucy frowned as she closed her phone. She felt her heart race as she glanced around her living room. A small TV sat on an antique radio stand, and with the exception of the TV, nothing looked younger than 50 years old. She frowned and eagerly ran upstairs to gather an armful of recent portraits with friends. She hurriedly carried them downstairs, pulling old photographs from shelves and tables to replace them with the newer ones. She turned on a modern radio station, and tried to brighten up the room that was filled with muted earthy tones; the walls a pale sage green, while all of the furniture were in deep woody browns, and reds.

She ran in to the basement and pulled out the box that held old uniforms she had saved, her fingers tracing over the material as she lugged it upstairs to the living room. She let out a huff of breath when she dropped the heavy box besides the couch and turned her attention to a large server.

Sliding her old photographs in to a drawer she sighed and grabbed an old photograph that she had left out. Jessica had been right, she spent all of her time obsessing over the past; she was stuck in it. Her fingers traced the carved frame of the photograph. The picture was old and worn, with drab hues of brown and cream from age. A young woman and a man stood excitedly in the portrait; he wore a decorated uniform for the confederate army, while the woman wore a long light colored dress covered in ruffles and lace; i fell off of her shoulders, and her waist looked tiny. Long black hair fell in tiny ringlets beneath a small bonnet; both of their faces shone with pride. She hadn't realized she was staring at the picture before a knock came at the door, shocking her out of her thoughts. Sighing, she laid the picture face down on the lace that was draped over the desk and went to answer the door.

"Hey." Lucy said, putting on a smile as she pulled open the door and forcing herself to ignore the portrait she had just looked at. "Come on in."

"Your house is so quaint." Emmett laughed as he entered the small, warm, cottage style home. "Did you get your style sense from your grandparents or something?"

"Something like that." She laughed, shaking her head lightly. She held the door open as the two larger men entered, shutting it cautiously behind them as they entered, looking around.

"Wow, you look just like her." Emmett picked up a picture from her desk. She frowned as she looked up to see the one that he held. Jasper eyed it from besides him.

"That's what I've been told; she's my great grandmother." Lucy laughed awkwardly, walking to the box. "Here are the uniforms. They've been folded in this box for a few years, hopefully they haven't deteriorated or anything."

"So that's why you're so interested in history. Was your family from Texas? What brigade was he in?" Emmett asked her curiously; Jasper gave him a dark look. Lucy began pulling out the uniforms and frowned.

"He was in the Texas Brigade; he joined when he was 17 during the 1850's. He would have joined during the Texas Mexican war if they had allowed him to." She shook her head as though disapproving of the man's actions. "I always got to hear stories about how promiscuous he was; always running in to battle without a second thought about the repercussions. It's no surprise that my great grandmother received word that he had died in battle at Gettysburg."

"He must have known General Lee." Jasper commented as he looked at a picture on the wall of her grandparents with their families, presumably at a wedding or engagement.

"Yes, he did." She said, running between he and Emmett to rummage through a drawer. She pulled out one of the pictures she had put away. "They were actually quite decent friends."

"This is amazing." Jasper said as he looked to the picture. Lucy grinned as she returned to the box, pulling out a couple of other uniforms.

"Are those real uniforms?" Jasper asked, setting the photograph on her desk as he approached the couch. He held one up, his fingers tracing along the threads.

"Of course." Lucy grinned, pleased to see that someone else had seemed nearly as enraptured with the past as she was.

For nearly three hours they sat in her living room talking about the civil war and exchanging facts; as though to play a sparring game of 'who knows more,' that ended inconclusively. Perhaps what had surprised Lucy the most, more than the fact that there was someone out there as nerdy as her, was that it had been the angry blonde boy whom she had shared every history class for the past two years with. He had hardly even looked uncomfortable during his visit, only occasionally getting tense.

"Listening to you guys is more boring than watching paint dry." Emmett groaned as he leant back in a chair by the fire. Jasper had sat on the couch besides the uniforms, while Lucy was sitting on the ground by the fireplace besides a table that they had set notes out on.

"You guys haven't even talked about _your_ project." Emmett continued darkly. "I feel like I'm watching the history channel, only you're speaking in Texan accents and using slang that no one in their right mind would understand."

"Yes we have." Lucy huffed. "Jasper and I will dress up as soldiers. I'll die, because I'll be a union soldier, and Jessica will be my Yankee wife."

"We should have Emmett with us, as the union was vastly outnumbered." Jasper suggested.

"Do you really think her highness Gripling would go for that. She's a copperhead at best." Lucy responded with a smirk.

"She'll allow it; she loves us." Jasper told her with a laugh.

"Of course she does, you flash her a smile and she's dazzled for days." Lucy rolled her eyes. Emmett laughed at her sardonic tone. "I should just befriend you guys so that every time I accidentally call her out on being a deadbeat you can dazzle her and make her forget me."

"We should get going." Jasper said suddenly. Lucy looked between them, feeling a bit confused at the sudden change.

"You're right, it's getting late. Esme will be expecting us for dinner soon." Emmett said quickly. "You go start the car and I'll get your notes and everything."

"Thank you for all of your work, Jasper." Lucy smiled as Jasper walked briskly out the door.

"Thank you!" He called out as the screen door shut behind him.

"We promised Esme we'd be home half an hour ago." Emmett told her sheepishly. "We lost track of time."

"Oh, it's fine. I understand." Lucy said with a slightly relieved smile as she went through the uniforms. She handed a couple pairs of pants and jackets to Emmett.

"Thank you for doing this with us. If they don't fit, just let me know and I may have different sizes, though I'm not a stock room, so it is limited." She told him with a grin as he held them.

"Thank you, these are great." Emmett told her with a laugh "I never thought I'd meet someone as crazy as him about the civil war. Maybe now he can call you when he wants to talk about it rather than bore the rest of our family."

"That would be grand; none of my friends can stand to listen to me." She said appreciatively, holding the door open as he walked towards their small black car.

"Have a great weekend, Luce. We'll see you in class on Monday." Emmett grinned, disappearing to his car. She shook her head as she laughed. She had seen their car at school, though it was still somewhat surprising to see how nice it truly was.

Glancing to the clock above the fireplace she frowned; it was only 3 in the afternoon. They must eat dinner very early.

* * *

**A/N**: _Here's the second chapter. I still don't own anything. Let me know what you think, or if you have any ideas! Thanks! :D_


	3. Chapter 3: Skipalong

**Chapter Three: _Skipalong_  
**

* * *

_Acting oblivious  
Comes natural to us.  
Keep smiling knowing all the while  
the world will fall apart._

_Lenka- Skipalong_

* * *

The sun had threatened to spill as Lucy prepared for her day, though by the time she arrived at school the familiar damp feeling of rain was kissing her cheeks lightly. _'It's not even rain, it's just sprinkling.'_ Everyone claimed. She scoffed as she made her way towards first period Statistics and Trigonometry. A horribly boring course for what promised to be a horribly boring day. The halls squeaked from students walking down them towards classes. Lucy felt her hopes for a warm day disappear. Her eyes glanced around the hall for a friendly face, before her eyes fell on a strange man she'd never seen before.

In Forks there were a few things that one could pick up on with relative assurance; the main of which was a new face. The man was tall, with waving dark hair, and had the face of a minor deity. Lucy forced herself not to stare as she continued down the hall. She then saw that he stood with Alice Cullen; a short girl that had the grace and beauty of a pixie. Across the hall stood Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, their 'sister,' and Edward, their 'brother.' It seemed natural that this beautiful man would be associated with them. They were easily the most beautiful family in town. She hadn't even lived in Forks her entire life, yet she had to wonder what reason they had for coming here. The air was tense between the Cullen children and the new man. With a frown Lucy realized that her class was right besides where they stood; she hadn't wanted to look nosy but she would have been lying if she said she wasn't curious.

"Hey Luce! How are you?" Emmett spoke as the smaller girl made for class quietly. Lucy glanced up.

"I'm great, just going to math class. How are you?" Lucy asked him with a bright smile. She was in a good mood, overall, though she was feeling inquisitive as to who the new man was, and she had been hoping for better weather.

"We're good. One of Alice's old friends just came in to town and decided to visit her at school." Emmett explained to her, ignoring the glares from the beautiful blonde at his side as he motioned to the man across the hall.

"Ah, he's a cutie. Way to go, Alice." Lucy said with a smirk as she glanced back to the pair.

"They're not like that. Alice and Jasper are supposed to be dating." Emmett frowned, folding his arms. Lucy looked up to him, cocking a dark eyebrow slightly as she smirked.

"How pleasant you make it sound. I do yearn for the days when I am _supposed_ to date someone." Lucy responded sardonically, holding back a snicker.

"Want me to give him your number?" Emmett smirked.

"Brunettes aren't my type, thanks though." Lucy grinned, laughing slightly at the offer.

"How about Jasper? Is he your type?" Emmett asked, gaining a dark look from both Edward and Jasper. Lucy laughed out loudly, the other two men looking to her with a frown.

"I don't go for rebounds, but if he wants to spend long nights doing nothing but talking about horribly grotesque battles, I may change my mind." She laughed, shaking her head as she walked towards the door to her class.

"That could be what he goes for, you never know." Emmett offered, gaining a slap on the arm from Rosalie.

"I don't think matchmaking is your calling Emmett." Lucy shook her head once more. "I'll see you in History."

Lucy frowned as she entered the brightly lit math class, she felt herself cringing faintly at the sound that came from the fluorescent overhead lights. Her mind wandered to what Emmett had said about Jasper. She had fought hard not to form a crush on any of the Cullens. Everyone fancied them; it was no secret that they were the most attractive people in town. Lucy might even go as far as to say that they were some of the most attractive people she'd ever seen. Yet it wasn't simply that that had piqued her interest. She had never met anyone as interested in the Civil war as her, and she had assumed that there were reasons for it. She had lived through the war, she had lost everything then... she hoped that that wasn't why he shared her avid interest, and that he was simply an overzealous history geek. Though it would explain the melancholic look when he touched the uniform, how strongly he felt about being correct, and how his guards seemed to have dropped the moment he began talking about it. His entire face lit up, his eyes glowing brightly like a child that had just received a cherished gift. Maybe she wasn't alone after-all.

* * *

Outside of the classroom Edward stood motionless, a shocked look on his face as he heard the thoughts coming from the shorter dark haired girl. He had never given much thought to Lucy; she had been an average girl, nothing had ever seemed extraordinary about her; though suddenly she had gotten a lot more interesting.

"Edward, what's going on? What are you hearing?" Emmett asked him quietly, glancing around the hall.

"Lucy knows how old Jasper is." Edward said quietly. Rosalie and Jasper both looked up in shock.

"What?" The two blonde 'twins' hissed simultaneously. Edward stood quietly as he listened to the girls thoughts; he felt slightly guilty eavesdropping, yet it concerned his families safety. He could almost see pictures forming in his mind as she tried to recall people from the civil war; her mind was like an encyclopedia of knowledge on the war, flipping through pages with interest.

"She doesn't suspect the rest of us; but she knows-" Edward stopped as he heard a thought in his mind.

_"Jasper Whitlock. Born January 12th 1843. Youngest Major in Texas. Disappeared in 1863 after..._" Edward couldn't hear the rest of her thought as it trailed off; he supposed she was envisioning something that he couldn't quite see.

"She knows-" Edward began, but stopped when he could hear her voice in his head once more.

_"I was there; I saw him._" Her voice, even in thoughts, was quiet and strangled; as though in utter shock. "_I knew him_."

"She knows what?" Rosalie frowned impatiently.

"She knows who he was. I've got to go to class." Edward said quickly, pushing away from his siblings; he was worried about what she could say, but she didn't seem to assume that any of the other family members were like him, and she didn't even seem to be worried about what he was; just confused. He was confused; how could she have known Jasper? She was not like them; She had blood running through her veins and she both smelled and looked like a normal human... But how would she have known someone that should have died 140 years ago?

"You're lying, Edward." Jasper frowned, folding his arms across his chest.

"She thinks she knew you before; I don't know how, or why." Edward frowned; he suppose he had nothing to worry about in gaining the trust of a mortal girl who was on the verge of being crazy, though he always felt guilty for sharing their thoughts with his siblings.

"Wait, you mean those pictures in her house, with the man ... they were her?" Emmett asked curiously, more to himself than to Edward. "No wonder she knew so much. She has some explaining to do."

"Emmett, don't say anything to her. She probably has good reason for being here, acting like us. If she wanted us to know, she would have told us. Treat her like any other student." Edward said firmly before disappearing down the hall. "We don't need her questioning the rest of us."

* * *

Math class had ended without any incidents; which Lucy was thankful for. She had hardly paid any attention in class as she was too focused on how Jasper could have lived for so long, and why he was there; or if she was simply making it up in her mind. She dreaded entering history class; she had never felt such dread for a class as she did now. She had never missed a class until now, and wouldn't miss it simply because she felt uneasy about some boy.

The classroom was almost full when Lucy entered, her dark hair swishing around her pale face as she gulped. She was walking towards the back of the room, her head held high in determination to not look at Jasper. Yet a part of her _wanted_ to look at him; maybe he would have answers to questions that no one else could provide.

"Hey Luce!" Emmett said loudly as Lucy was walking towards her seat. It shouldn't have been surprising, yet she had been so deep in her thoughts that the loud voice caused her to jump up suddenly, her foot tripping in mid air; causing her to fall to the ground with a thud. Emmett laughed out loudly. "Jumpy!"

"Go boil your shirt." She muttered under her breath as she stood up, grabbing her books as Sam jumped to help her.

"Bad day?" Emmett smirked at her, as though knowingly.

"To put it lightly." She said darkly, taking her seat on the far side of the room.

"Are you all right? You're not usually this jumpy." Sam said quietly before the bell rang.

"I'm fine. Senioritis or something." Lucy said casually, dismissing her mood.

"Oh," Sam nodded as though understanding. "Did you hear that Alex Thompson had to actually go to the nurses yesterday because he started hyperventilating during a test?"

"No, I hadn't heard that. That's horrible." Lucy said with a slight laugh. Trust Sam to believe her; Sam was a trusting, and gullible girl. Lucy choked however, when she was looking over to Sam, and met eyes with Jasper. She frowned, glancing towards the teacher, though once the teacher began speaking it sounded like white noise as her mind was flooded with a flashback.

* * *

_Moonlight covered the Texas range as a large group of women and children from Galveston sat in a camp. Soldiers sat around talking, many had family that they were excitedly catching up with; happy to see their loved ones. Lucy sat on a log besides a camp fire, her hands around a small cup of tea as she watched the flames._

_"Would you like to use my jacket, Ma'am?" A voice asked. Lucy glanced up to see a young man no older than 20 standing before her. He stood taller than most men she'd seen, his hair glistening gold in the light of the moon; his face a pale tan shade from hours spent in the sun. Glancing at his uniform she realized that he must have been a major._

_"Thank you, Major." She bowed her head politely, her long curls falling over her shoulders as he placed the blanket around her shoulders._

_"Don't you have any family here?" He asked her warmly, his eyes were a warm shade of golden brown, like sweet caramel._

_"No, I don't have any family." She said quietly, her eyes moving from him to her cup._

_"Well, that's a shame; a beautiful girl like you without a family." He told her charmingly. She felt a blush creep up on her cheeks as she looked to the fire. "My name is Jasper. Jasper Whitlock. I'm a major in the infantry watching over all of you."_

_"It's a pleasure to meet you, Jasper. Lucy Merriweather." She politely reached her hand out to him. His hand felt surprisingly soft as he grabbed hers, bending down lightly to kiss the top of her palm._

_"The pleasure is all mine, ma'am." He told her politely, bowing his head._

_"Ah, Major Whitlock! I see you've met Miss Merriweather." A shorter, stout man said eagerly. Lucy glanced up to see the familiar face of John Lewis; a boy she had known from childhood; he had been best friends with Wilfred before he left for war. She forced her eyes to glance down at the flames, taking deep breaths as she took a sip of her tea._

_"Yes, We've just met. You know one another?" Jasper asked the man curiously. Lucy composed herself, glancing up to the moon quietly. She could feel John's eyes on her cautiously._

_"We grew up in the same town, didn't we Luce." John said, putting on a smile. She looked in his dark eyes; he felt hurt as well._

_"Yes, we did." Lucy said, putting on a laugh, though it turned in to a slight cough part way through. "I didn't think I'd ever see you again."_

_"I didn't think I'd ever see any of you again either. It's been hard. We lose people every day." John said grimly, sitting on a log across the fire from her. "How are you doing?"_

_"I'm surviving. I want this war to be over." She said quietly, pulling the jacket closer to her body. It smelled of blood, and sweat, but somehow it felt comfortable and familiar. "I want everything to go back to how it was."_

_"It will get better, I promise." John said firmly. Lucy glanced up to see Jasper looking down at John curiously._

_"John was best friends with my Fiance." Lucy explained cautiously. Jasper looked up to her, his brown eyes gleaming curiously. "He disappeared last month in Gettysburg."_

_"He was one of the best men we had. He probably killed hundreds of yanks." John said firmly as he took a drink from a flask._

_"John!" Lucy hissed angrily. "That is hardly appropriate to say. What would Wilfred say if he heard that tongue?"_

_"Darling Perfect little Lucy Merriweather; always the prim and proper southern belle." John tutted as he stood. "It was nice to see you, Luce. Maybe we'll see one another after all of this is over."_

_Lucy watched, her eyes watering as he left. He was the one last man whom she had known from childhood that was still alive, and he was disappearing in to the distance._

_"The war should be over soon." Jasper spoke softly, his words were kind, and his eyes were compassionate. "Would you like some company?"_

_"Yes." She said softly, her eyes returning to the fire as he sat politely across from her. There had been something comforting about having him just sitting there, looking up at the stars. She knew he would probably die soon, as would John... but right now they were all together, under the same stars._

* * *

Lucy glanced up to the front of the class in time to look at the teacher.

"Miss Louhi, can you answer the question?" The teacher asked with a quirked brow.

"1914." Lucy said offhandedly. A few snickers went through the classroom.

"Did you hear the question?" Mrs. Gripling was frowning, her thin lips pursed to a line.

"No, I did not." Lucy smirked at the woman.

"Can anyone else answer the question?" Mrs. Gripling frowned, her eyes going around the class. Lucy looked down to see a note slipped in front of her.

'_Are you okay? You look like you're going to be sick.'_

Lucy frowned at the writing, Sam's familiar bubbly cursive, complete with hearts on her 'i's.

_'I think I am going to be sick.'_

_'you should go home.'_

_'I'll be fine. I have perfect attendance.'_ Lucy frowned as she wrote this. _Perfect little Lucy Merriweather._ she frowned at the memory. She hadn't thought of John in years; it was easy to forget the smaller people you meet when you're too busy grieving the bigger picture. She wasn't even sure what she had been grieving all of those years.

_'Of course you do, perfect little Lucy can't even miss class because she's sick.'_

Lucy read it, taking a sharp intake of breath. Daring a glance to her side she saw that Emmett was watching her curiously. Jasper looked like his usual uncomfortable self, hands clutched at the side of his chair, his jaw set as he watched the white board. Lucy frowned; she didn't want to be perfect little Lucy. Slowly she raised her hand tentatively.

"Yes, Lucy?" The teacher frowned, sighing exasperatedly as she awaited the smart aleck response from the girl, or for her to explain how she had been wrong.

"May I go to the nurses office? I'm not feeling very well." Lucy said quickly, her hand dropping to the desk with a slight thud. The students tried to look back as casually as possible, surprised whispers passing amongst them. In four years of school there, she had never missed class, shown up late, or shown any signs of being ill. Despite being an annoying, sarcastic know-it-all to the teachers, she had been an ideal student.

"I beg your pardon?" The teacher asked cautiously, expecting some sort of punch line.

"I don't feel well, I think I am going to be sick. May I please go to the nurse?" Lucy said, clenching her teeth as she spoke. The teacher looked shocked.

"Of course you may go." Mrs. Gripling said slowly. Lucy threw everything in to her bag and practically ran to the front of the room where the teacher was writing her an excuse. "Are you okay?"

"I'll survive. Thank you, ma'am." She said, grabbing the note quickly as she ran out of the room.

Once out of the room Lucy leaned against the lockers, her head hitting them harshly as she closed her eyes tightly. She took slow, deep breaths, willing the pain away before she opened her eyes and began walking towards the nurses office. The last thing she wanted now was to be in the halls when class let out.

"Lucy? What are you doing here?" The nurse, a small matronly woman with golden brown hair, smiled compassionately.

"I think I am sick. I feel dizzy, and over emotional. I think the stress is getting to me." Lucy told her plainly; it was partly the truth. She knew the real reason for her emotional breakdown, though she couldn't tell the nurse; she couldn't tell anyone.

"Oh honey, that's a normal part of being a teenager." The woman warmly approached Lucy, placing her hand on her shoulder affectionately. Lucy glanced at the woman who stood a few inches shorter than her. She wanted to tell the woman that she hadn't been a teenager in over a hundred years; that she was older than the woman's grandparents were. "Did your boyfriend break up with you?"

"I don't date, Miss Jones. I don't think it is worthwhile." Lucy frowned. Of course her mind had gone to that instantaneously. Even in her youth she hadn't dated. Her father had been a strong military man, and Wilfred was the son of a wealthy banker; he joined the army when he was 17, lying about his age. She had been 14 at the time, three years younger than him. When she was 15 he began courting her at the insistence of their father's. At 16 her father had agreed upon a marriage. She hadn't loved him, but he was a good friend, and it would have been a profitable marriage. Their entire town doted on them as the perfect couple. Her whole life had been built up around marrying him... and then he died five days before her 18th birthday. She had met Jasper less than a month after turning 18; barely a month after her fiance had died. It was as though something had happened after Wilfred died, stopping her from aging. She was perpetually stuck in the body of an 18 year old.

"I don't know what you want me to do. I don't think there is anything wrong with you." Her words were kind, though they repeated what Lucy had expected to hear. A slight edge of authority was in her tone as she spoke to Lucy, as though her feelings weren't strange, or odd. At that moment, the bell rang, signaling the start of the following period.

"Thank you. I'll just go to class." Lucy said politely, Miss Jones signed her note before bidding her a good day.

"I'm sorry for being late, Sir. I was with the nurse." Lucy said politely, bowing her head courteously as she handed her slip to the teacher.

"Are you feeling ill?" Mr. Michael's asked with a frown; he was a kind man with thinning brown hair that tufted around his ears, and perpetually rosy cheeks. A large moustache that no one liked bristled above his lips, moving with each syllable.

"I'm going to survive." Lucy said with a smile as she walked towards her seat; she always survived. When everyone else died, she survived. She was like a cockroach. She glanced down as she arrived at her seat groaning inwardly as she saw Emmett eyeing her curiously. Her frown deepened as she saw a note sitting in front of her as she sat.

_'Are you okay?'_

Emmett's penmanship was much worse than Jasper's; Jasper's writing was from another time; when men put effort in to learning how to write properly. Emmett's looked like someone had somehow taught an otter how to write letters, and they somehow, _sort of_, resembled words.

_'I'll be fine. Just senioritis is all.'_

Lucy said, putting on a smile as she slid the paper over, pulling out her notebook. Senioritis was an excellent excuse; she had seen many seniors go through many mental issues, and blame it on their nerves from being a senior.

_'How do you know Jasper?'_

Lucy frowned, reading it. She put on a smirk as she responded back politely.

_'It's hard not to know people in a town so small.'_

'_That's not what I meant, and you know it. What's really bothering you?_'

Lucy reread what he had written, trying hard not to frown as it would give her away.

_'There is nothing bothering me, though I thank you for your concern. I am fit as a fiddle. I don't know what you are trying to insinuate, though I've only really just met Jasper last month when we worked together on the project. He's not exactly the most friendly of fellows.'_

Emmett seemed to give up after this, shaking his head at her as he looked up to the teacher to work on his classwork. Lucy looked down at her notes, and began starting to write in a new spot as the teacher spoke. Glancing around the room she looked at the students, taking in their clothes, the way they spoke as they passed notes, how they behaved. She had managed to fit in so well, but suddenly they all felt like strangers.

For the three years that she had lived here, she did the same that she had done everywhere: Starting as young as possible, usually freshman year, she would start school. Occasionally she would continue on to college until people began to wonder why she had never aged. Usually by the time she was supposed to be 30 her supposed friends would start raising questions about why she looked the same as she had at 15. So she would move away, start new and drop all of her relationships. Forming relationships was hard when you knew that you would live longer than them. For the first forty years she had thought maybe she would start aging soon, yet it was over a hundred years later and she still hadn't aged a day.

Seeing Jasper, and recognizing him wasn't something that necessarily scared her; it perplexed her, but also gave her hope that maybe she wasn't the strange freak she had thought she was; maybe there were more people like her, and she didn't have to spend the rest of her life, however long it may be, entirely alone.

* * *

**A/N:** _Thank you for reading this! Hopefully you guys don't think it's too shoddy. Let me know if you've got any pointers or anything. Also; would you prefer to have chapters that were shorter, with more of them; or longer, with fewer? Have a great day! :D_


	4. Chapter 4: Information Travels Faster

**Chapter Four:**_**Information Travels Faster**_

* * *

_'You wanted me to write you letters, but I'd rather lose your address  
and forget that we'd ever met and what did or did not occur.'_

_Death Cab For Cutie - Information Travels Faster_

* * *

The cafeteria was loud as Lucy drug her feet towards the table with her friends. Their class had been closer to the cafeteria and thus they had already gotten their food. Her stomach lurched ominously, almost daring her to eat. The fluttering in her chest, however, told her that eating may not be the best option. Rather than risk getting physically ill, she hit her head against the table. Rolling her head gently she looked up to Sam, a small trace of marinara sauce sat on the edges of her lip from her pizza.

"Am I boorish?" Lucy asked quietly, slightly grimacing as she awaited the answer. She knew that the answer was yes, it was clear as day, yet she hadn't wanted to hear it.

"No, you're too obnoxious. You're just a bit prudish and old fashioned when it comes to some things." Sam offered casually, sticking a large piece of pizza in her mouth. "You're too much of a smart ass to be boorish, you talk back to the teachers constantly-"

"They're wrong. If they knew their facts, I wouldn't have to correct them." Lucy muttered angrily under her breath. Though she realized that it only further proved the point in her mind.

* * *

_"You spelled that word wrong, Ma." The small figure of a girl no older than 8 said with a grin. She wore a large dress of pale lavender, with long, puffed out sleeves. Her hair fell in ringlets down her back with a small cap on her head. The woman standing besides a chalk board turned to frown._

_"Now Lucy, that is not important. You know what your Pa will think if he knows I've been teaching you." The taller, beautiful woman said, her full lips pursed slightly, though her pale grey blue eyes sparkled with enjoyment. Mrs. Merriweather had been the school teacher in town. Lucy always wanted to go to school, though she wasn't allowed. Girls her age were taught how to sew and to cook; Not to read and write._

_"But it's __wrong__, Ma." Lucy said in a slightly whiny tone as she folded her arms, her quill lay forgotten on her desk. "You wouldn't make tomato paste with oranges, and you can't spell eloquent with an 'i.' It's not right!"_

_"Listen to me, child." Her mother said firmly, setting her pale fingers on the desk. Her hair was piled high over her head with ribbons in it. The resemblance between mother and daughter was striking, even at such a young age. "Women do not go to school, and we most certainly do not talk back to anyone above us; Who do we not talk back to, Lucy?"_

_"We don't want to look offish to anyone, so we can't talk back to any men, older women, or adults. It is unladylike to act so rudely, and no man will ever marry a girl with such a lack of manners." The small child drawled slowly, rolling her eyes as she spoke. She found it to be boring, she didn't want to be a girl; she wanted to be a boy so that she could __do__ things._

* * *

"You can't go around correcting everyone, Luce. No one will like you." Sam told her with a slight laugh.

"You sound like my mother." Lucy grumbled under her breath; she looked up from the table to see the golden eyes of Edward Cullen's on her. She frowned; she had successfully ignored them for two years, but suddenly it seemed that she was unable to make a single movement without them being around the corner. Her eyes glanced at the siblings. Alice was missing, Jasper seemed to look more uncomfortable than usual, Emmett was laughing at something that no one could ever really know, and Rosalie looked irate. When she glanced back to Edward he was watching another table in the room. Her eyes followed his gaze; an average looking girl sat at the table with one of Edward's fan club members. She had reddish brown hair that was long, she wore typical clothes, and looked uncomfortable.

"Who's the new girl?" Lucy asked curiously; the last time new kids had come to the school it had been the Cullens, and everyone had known about them before they even arrived. Perhaps she hadn't been listening to the gossip enough.

"Oh, That's Isabella Swan. Chief Swan's daughter. She just moved here from Arizona." Sam answered noncommittally, shrugging her shoulders as she glanced to the girl. Lucy sat up and watched the girl curiously, her eyes looking over to Edward slowly. He was watching her, a look of interest and confusion in his eyes, his brow furrowed slightly. His gaze then moved; Lucy followed.

A blonde girl stood at the table besides theirs, her short sandy hair blowing in the wind as someone opened the door. Whitney Stuart, a pleasant sophomore. Her eyes turned to the table; Jasper was watching the girl his black eyes glistening with hunger. Lucy frowned, her brow puckering as she watched him; it wasn't a desirable look, it was a literal hungry look, as though he wanted to pluck off one of her legs and eat it for lunch rather than his untouched pizza. She saw Edward kick him from under the table; he looked up, almost shamefully. Whitney was leaving, though Jasper no longer looked at her. Edward moved his lips quickly, saying something. Jasper looked irritated as he spat back a response that Lucy couldn't hear from across the room. He glanced up at Edward before looking up, his dark eyes locked with hers. She froze.

"Lucy? Is there any reason you are staring at Jasper Hale?" Sam said with a giggle, Matt glanced behind him to see that his friend had, in fact, been locked in a dark stare with the blonde boy. She barely heard their words as she looked at him. He looked different. His hair was the same, his features were the same... yet his eyes were much darker, more sinister and shameful; his skin no longer looked tan; it matched the pale complexion of his adoptive brothers and sisters.

"Earth to Lucy!" Matt snickered, waving his hand in front of her. The girl jumped, her eyes wide with shock as she turned back to her friends.

"What?" Lucy looked at them confused; trying to recall what they had been saying. She knew they had been speaking to her, but there was something odd about Jasper that made it impossible to look away; something that made her wish to talk to him, to understand why he sat there rather than in a grave.

"What are you thinking about? You never mentioned fancying Mister Hale." Amber responded with a grin. Lucy grimaced as she glanced back to the boy; she had never thought she would wonder why someone wasn't in the grave. She had always mourned death, even in the slightest form; though she had grown jaded of it over the years; it was like something that was unobtainable; something she couldn't quite have, that everyone else got without questioning; yet she never got sick, beyond grief that is; she never really had any issues other than the fact that she wouldn't die; she didn't get old.

"Oh, I don't like him. He's just really weird." Lucy shook her head, glancing down with a groan as she realized that lunch was almost over.

"There's something off about their whole family, have you not noticed it before?" Amber laughed, turning slightly to look at the family. "They're all freakishly good looking, they don't talk to anyone outside of their family, they have nice cars, and they never eat food here."

"I never watched them that closely." Lucy frowned, wondering how she had been so oblivious to them before; glancing between them she noticed the similarities amongst them that she had somehow missed before; the paleness of their skintone, their golden eyes... they looked almost the same, yet they were obviously adopted. Edward seemed to look up from Bella to her, a dark look in his gaze.

"Though I don't see how it's a big deal that they're from a wealthy family and they think they're too good for forks. They probably are." Lucy shrugged casually, smirking at the thought of it. That was what she had always assumed before now, but it felt like there was something more there. If Jasper had lived for so long, maybe they had, too. Maybe they were all older; their names were definitely old fashioned, and they had manners that seemed unnatural in these times.

She frowned as she felt herself staring at them once more; even if they had lived forever, it still didn't make much sense. She clearly remembered Jasper looking differently, and yet she hadn't changed a bit since then. She looked exactly the same, down to her puffy cheeks that had earned her the nickname 'Angel' in the 50's when they thought their cherub like quality was something that belonged in an old painting. Her mother had had puffy cheeks as a child; it was a family trait, though in her early twenties she had grown out of it. Lucy had waited 140 years, and she still looked like a chipmunk. After the forth time in high school it had gotten to be annoying to find that she could still pass as a 14 year old easily; it was even more annoying when the children in _'her year'_ would try to flirt with her and ask her out. Yet to tell them the main reason why she wasn't interested would give away her secret.

Angrily she crumpled up a napkin from the table. She didn't even know her secret. She should have known why she was alive; she should have known what had happened. The only major thing she could remember was sleeping for nearly a month in grief after leaving her servant, Marietta, in New Orleans.

* * *

_"Where is John Lewis?" The petite figure of Lucy Merriweather stood anxiously in the town center; she wore a clean pink dress, her hair pulled up neatly in to a matching bonnet. They had arrived back in town safely that morning; for three days they had traveled to return; three days she had spent with Jasper. "Where is Major Jasper Whitlock?"_

_"Lewis is visiting with his family; Major Whitlock hasn't returned to town yet. Were you close with him?" The man whom she spoke to asked. He was an older man, in his 40's perhaps. He was well decorated, though she wasn't sure what all of it meant._

_"Yes, we were friends." Lucy frowned, holding his jacket in her arms, she glanced down. "He let me wear his jacket to keep warm, I would like to return it, sir."_

_"Why don't you just keep it, Miss. I'm sure if he comes back he'll want to see a pretty dame like you." The older man smiled warmly. Lucy looked up, feeling her heart break at the thought._

_"Wouldn't it be easier to give it to you? Surely you can return it to him." She said politely, clutching the jacket so hard that her knuckles were turning white. The jacket looked dirty besides her pale dress; tears in places, dried blood, and dirt. The blues and reds had faded from sunlight. It was very obviously worn._

_"I'm sure he would have wanted you to keep it. I've got to be going Miss." He tipped his hat politely. Lucy watched he walked away, her throat tight. The one man she had spoke to since Wilfred had died, and he had died within days of meeting her. The man stopped walking and turned to face her. She was frozen in her position._

_"How about this; you give me your name, and I'll send him your way if he comes back." The man said warmly, pulling a small pad of paper from his jacket. "He never mentioned any family to contact, it's a shame; he was a nice young man. It's nice to see a young woman he knew."_

_"My name is Lucy. Lucy Merriweather." The girl said quickly, her hands wringing through the uniform. "I live in house number five-oh-six on Galveston Boulevard. You do think he is well, don't you? You don't think any harm has befallen him?"_

_"I can't be sure, Ma'am. He was a strong man, though the rest of our infantry returned over an hour ago, and he was not with them." The man said to her softly. "I should hope for you that he is well. I will be sure to send you notice if I hear anything."_

_"Thank you, Good sir. It is much appreciated." Lucy said with a slight curtsy. The man nodded before turning to walk; the knots in her stomach made the walk home difficult. She hadn't known him but three days, yet he had an enchanting charisma that made her feel instantly comfortable, as though the pain really would end soon; that everything would get better._

* * *

She had waited three days, watching out her window hoping for word from the strange man whom she had only just met. Her house felt empty; her mother had died earlier in the year, and her father was out at war. Her fiance had died, and his family had left town soon after his death. She was left to mourn in her house alone. She would sit quietly, refusing to speak or eat when her maids prodded her. Three days she had spent with the jacket clutched tightly to her chest, waiting desperately for a man who was as good as a stranger to return; she had always gotten attached to people too easily; all it took was a simple 'Hello' and she felt a need to care for them. It was foolish, and impractical to have such free compassion.

* * *

_Finally, on the third day, a strange woman showed up. She wore a plain black and white dress, and her windswept hair was pulled up in to a bun. Lucy eagerly ran to answer the knock on the door, not waiting for Marietta or one of her other maids to get it. Hope swelled in her chest as she took a deep breath to calm herself and pulled open the door. Though as she answered it she felt her heart drop. Greying blonde hair shone in the sunlight, the woman's deep brown eyes brimmed with tears._

_"Hello? How may I help you?" Lucy choked out slowly, she had never met this woman before, yet from her features it was obvious that she had somehow been related to the handsome young man she had met._

_"Are you Lucy Merriweather?" The woman asked, her voice was strained. Her face was the same pale tan shade as his, her nose held the same pointed shape._

_"Yes, would you like to come in?" Lucy offered politely, holding back a gulp as she tried to maintain a strong composure. The woman nodded her head before entering._

_"Marietta, please prepare some sweet-tea for my guest and I. We will be in the parlor." Lucy said casually as a short, robust woman with braided black hair appeared._

_"Yes Miss Merriweather." Marietta said quickly, bowing out of the room. As Lucy led her towards the parlor a few doors down the hall, she realized that she was still holding the jacket. Her hair must have looked like a mess as she had waited eagerly for word, refusing to move._

_"You have a very beautiful house." The woman told her kindly as Lucy led her in to the room. She looked like the type of woman that looked as though she had worked outside a lot._

_"Thank you, my father built it." Lucy bowed her head appreciatively in thanks. They had built it before she was born, when they first moved to Texas._

_"Your tea, Ma'am." Marietta appeared in the doorway, holding a tray with a pitcher of tea, and two glasses. She set it on a small table that was covered in an ornate table cloth._

_"Thank you, Marietta." Lucy nodded, granting the maid to leave._

_"Thank you." Her guest nodded appreciatively. Marietta bowed slightly before exiting the room, shutting the door behind her._

_"How may I help you?" Lucy asked, delicately pouring a glass for the woman, who thanked her quietly before taking deep sips. She must have ridden straight from wherever she had been to meet with her. Lucy felt her throat constrict._

_"You do not know me, though my name is Elizabeth Whitlock. I believe you knew my son, Major Jasper Whitlock." The woman said quietly, Lucy froze still as she saw the tears brimming on the woman's eyes. "The man who sent word to me said that he had been close to you."_

_"I knew your son, yes." Lucy nodded, her words came out like choked, strangled attempts at saying something. It took her a moment to gather up the courage to ask her next question. "Is he well? Has any harm become of him?"_

_"He has... gone missing. They think that the union soldiers have killed him... He was such a warm hearted young man; he was a great leader." The woman choked out, her voice more mangled than Lucy's had been. Lucy felt her eyes welling with tears that threatened to spill at any second._

_"No," Lucy shook her head, grabbing the jacket and clutching it to her chest. Her tone was quiet, disbelieving. In an instant she was sitting at the older woman's feet, clutching to her hands as she held the jacket on her lap._

_"He can't be." Lucy said, unable to hold back her tears as she saw the older woman crying. She had never met the woman before, and she had hardly known her son; yet it felt as though her soul were being torn out; all of the pain that she had hidden for every death letter she had received, it all seemed to come out. Lucy realized she was being rude, and jumped up; she had no right to be so upset over the man's disappearance. Yet one look at the woman's face and she felt herself latch on to her in a tight embrace with no regard for social rules or expectations._

* * *

Lucy looked up from the crumpled paper in her hand. Sam and Amber were now talking about some boy, and Matt was texting on his phone. She glanced around the hall. Edward was watching her again, Jasper looked pained, Emmett and Rosalie were talking quietly. The way his dark eyes bore in to her looked almost as though he were reading in to her soul; as though he could see everything in her mind. He looked amused, and somewhat taken back suddenly.

"I'm going to class." Lucy grumbled, grabbing her back pack and tossing it lackadaisically over a shoulder.

"Are you sure you're okay? You look really upset over something." Sam said slowly, watching her friend cautiously. Lucy grinned, pulling her hair out from under the strap of her backpack.

"I'm fine, just one of those days." Lucy told her with a smile.

"Do you need a midol?" Sam asked her, reaching in to her purse eagerly.

"No, I think I'll be okay." Lucy said with a polite smile. In her day, women wouldn't have dreamt to say such a thing in public, especially around men. It only served as yet another reminder of how the times had changed.

"Women." Matt rolled his eyes, Amber hit his arm lightly with a frown as he laughed. Lucy laughed, shaking her head as she left; trust Matt to be able to lighten the mood.

* * *

"Hey Luce, Let's play chess." Lucy glanced up slowly from her notepad to see Emmett standing before her, a large box in his hands that she presumed was filled with a game of chess. She glanced to the front of the room with a frown. It was the Friday, before spring break, and they had a substitute. Worrying about Jasper hadn't been worthwhile, and the more attention she paid to his family, the more odd they seemed. It was strange to watch them; they had very peculiar habits when together.

"I'm not sure; I don't really play chess." Lucy shrugged casually, glancing down at the circles doodled on her page. It was, to be honest, boring. She had always enjoyed chess, she loved any strategic game, yet she had been playing for many years, and it often ended darkly.

"What?! That's absurd."

"Yeah," She said offhandedly, glancing at the chess set.

"We can play regular, plain chess. It's not that bad." Emmett told her, dropping the box on the empty desk behind her, before spinning a chair backwards to sit on.

"Regular chess is so boring." She frowned turning to face him, setting a pencil on her notebook. Jasper snickered, approaching Emmett as he opened the window behind him casually. Emmett glanced back, worry flickering over his features briefly, though before she could blink, it was gone.

"Good girl." Emmett said proudly, setting up the pieces, speaking as though she were a dog.

"Have you every played Ganymede chess?" She asked him curiously, it had been a fairly basic variant, involved more than one board, and a few extra pieces. He raised an eyebrow while grinning.

"Great girl." He said, folding out a second board, and pulling out pieces that were shaped and colored slightly different. Jasper took a chair from besides Emmett, sitting slightly closer to the window. "Though I must warn you, Jasper is the only person to have ever beat me; I am quite notorious."

"Perhaps I should play Jasper then, I'd hate to make a big bug like you lose to a little girl." She grinned cheekily.

"Oh? Care to make a wager on who will win?" He perked an eyebrow with a smirk.

"You name it." She said with a Cheshire grin. She was unable to hide her excitement at having someone to play that had known how to play; she was certain she would win, she had never lost a game of chess in her life. "Though I must warn you, I am very competitive, and never lose."

"Well get prepared." He laughed, his face brimming with excitement. Lucy glanced up at the clock, class was hardly a minute in.

"If I win, you have to answer my question from a few months ago." He told her with a smirk. She frowned

"What question?" She asked, her brows puckering in confusion. She knew what question it was, though she couldn't very well answer. It would make her look utterly insane.

"Your secret past." He told her honestly. Jasper was frowning at him. Lucy looked at him darkly, and leaned slightly over the table to talk in a quiet tone.

"If you lose, I expect your secret." She said quietly, knowing that no one else in the class could hear them. She hadn't wanted to share her secret, but if she could figure out their secret, maybe it would help her answer hers.

"Emmett-" Jasper frowned, though the larger boy had already jutted his hand out.

"Deal." Emmett said firmly, shaking her hand that looked like a child's in comparison to his. "You've got tiny hands."

"They wouldn't seem nearly as small if you weren't the size of a small army." She rolled her eyes with a laugh, the mood lightening slightly. Their game moved fast. Lucy had never played someone nearly as proficient as the game; it was thrilling; nearly as thrilling as having been able to talk for hours with Jasper about history.

Truth be told, Lucy had come to enjoy the company of Emmett and Jasper. They has visited her a couple of times out of school, and occasionally in the middle of the night, she would get a call that woke her up from Jasper wanting to talk about something he'd just read about some war. They rarely spoke at school, but it was as though they were not merely raised better than other kids; it was almost as though they had been raised decades prior. They were mature enough to be adults, rather than children. She had known something weird was going on in their family; Edward seemed to have been in particularly dark moods that rubbed off on to Jasper, and in turn Emmett. Rosalie had been even colder than usual, and Alice... Alice had seemed distant. Even Lucy was able to notice it. They moved their lips quickly whenever they were together; though she couldn't hear them, she knew that they were speaking. Alice was always distant; Jasper explained to her that it was because of her old friend arriving. She got the distinct impression that Jasper did not approve of her friend, or that he was perhaps jealous of him. He had never said expressively that he and Alice had been together, though the entire student body had assumed that they were. She could feel the eyes of the students in their class on the two as they moved the games, using both hands, going quicker than it should have seemed possible. She could see Emmett frowning, though she was too involved in the game to really look at anything else.

Suddenly, she fought back a smirk as she picked up her queen; one move and she would win. Her hand reached out boldly. The bell rang, and at the same moment she felt a pair of hands reach to her side. With a screech she jumped up, the piece dropping heavily, ending up right ways, on the wrong spot.

"Looks like you lose, little one." Emmett chuckled, standing up. Lucy stood still, her mouth gaping like a fish as blood rushed to her cheeks. She spun around, her eyes narrowed to the person who had touched her. Tyler Jones, a tall, lanky boy with waving black hair.

"_You_." She hissed angrily, pointing a slender finger in to his chest. He froze in his position instantaneously.

"Did I look like I wanted to be _touched_?" She spat out in disgust and anger at having just lost a game.

"I thought it would be funny. Lighten up." The boy said laughing.

"Yeah, Luce. Lighten up." Emmett chuckled, putting the pieces back in a box. Angrily she threw her notebook in to her bag and stormed out of the classroom before the three other teens. Jasper had returned to his rigid self, Emmett seemed far too amused to be bothered by Jasper, and Tyler followed after the shorter girl quickly.

"I'm sorry, Luce. I just wanted your attention." Tyler called out as she stormed quickly down the hall, her shorter legs going much quicker than he had wanted.

"Don't call me Luce. You have it, what do you want?" She asked, her arms folded coldly as she spun to face him. Emmett and Jasper stood behind him. She felt herself calm down slightly, and had to laugh as Emmett began mouthing something that looked inappropriate; Jasper silently laughed.

"Well Prom is next month." He told her slowly, walking towards her.

"Thank you for the reminder, though I've got a calendar for that." She said curtly. The boy laughed at her as though she had been joking. She frowned, her years of sarcasm had clearly caught up to her.

"I was wondering if you had a date yet, or if maybe you'd want to go with me?" He offered politely. She grimaced at the thought of spending the entire night with Tyler Jones. She had fancied him a bit during her first year there, and had foolishly told Sam; Tyler had found it amusing.

"No." She said, frowning deeply as she began to turn.

"Wait, No to which one?" He asked, calling after her as she walked towards her next class.

"Both." She said solidly, refusing to give him any more heed.

"But... It's _Prom_! You have to go." He told her, chasing in front of her. She could hear Emmett chuckling as he walked at a distance behind them, talking with Jasper, undoubtedly. "You'll never have another Prom; you only do senior year once."

"You don't know that. I might get bored and decide to come back later." She responded with a cheeky grin. He frowned at her joking; she laughed at his oblivious nature to the fact that she wasn't actually joking.

"You really won't go with me?" He frowned as she stood outside of her class.

"No, I'm sorry, Tyler. I'm really not interested in going with you. You're a horrible dancer, and you wear too much cologne. I feel like I'm going to have an allergy attack standing within five feet of you." She said with an innocent grin before disappearing in to her classroom. Emmett grinned as he took his seat besides her. The teacher had placed them together, though she hadn't anticipated any kindling of a friendship between the two.

"You should have seen his face when you left." Emmett chuckled quietly.

"High school boys never change." She said with a laugh, shaking her head. She felt slightly anxious; she had lost, and would now have to tell him her entire secret. In English they had to watch a movie; Romeo and Juliet, meaning she would have ample time to pass notes with him. She groaned, and pulled out a notepad. Carefully she began scrawling out quick sentences.

_'I was born July 7th, 1845. My father was an architect, and builder until the war. His family was old money. My mother was a beautiful socialite; she died of pneumonia on January 15th 1863. My father was killed in battle on July 3, 1863, though word did not reach me until August 27th of that year. The photographs in my house are not of my great grandmother; they are of me, and my fiance before he left for war. He died July 2nd, 1863. I don't know how, or when it happened; I simply stopped aging, I eat, sleep, breath, dream; though I don't gain weight, I don't grow, and I don't age. I can't explain why it happened.'_

With a deep breath she quietly tore the paper out and slid it silently to the boy besides her. She watched through the corner of her eyes as he read over the paper. Her heart racing at the prospect of having told someone.

_'Crazy. How did you know Jazz?'_

Lucy frowned, shaking her head with a dark laugh. She had already jumped off of the deep end, she may as well continue with her story to him. It did feel nice to finally tell someone the truth; even if they would find her to be ridiculous afterwards.

_'He was in the regiment leading my town to safety during an attack. We met three days before he disappeared.__ He gave me his jacket to keep warm, and kept me company while we returned to Galveston. For nearly two months I helped his mother search for him, before she caught malaria in New Orleans and died.'_

_'Why did you help her?'_

_'We all lost loved ones in the war; I knew that I had no hope of finding my loved ones, so I wanted to help others find theirs. I had never seen more pain than in the eyes of the women after the war. They were dying of grief. Someone needed to give them hope.'_

_'How did you meet his mother anyways?'_

_'I tried to find him after we returned to town. To return his jacket. His sergeant explained to me that he had disappeared. I told him that was impossible, that he would return. The man took my name, and said that he would contact me if he ever found him. Rather than contact me, he sent his mother to my house. For two days she rode to my home, sobbing over her loss.'_

_'his mother went to you for his death? I thought you were with the one man.'_

_'I was, his sergeant had an active imagination, and assumed more than friendship was between us. I can assure you that there was not.'_

_'I'm sure there wasn't.'_ She heard him chuckling and glanced over to him darkly, folding her arms. He pulled it back with a sigh.

'_Fine, so there wasn't anything there. But would you be that upset if I died?'_

_'Of course, I expect a rematch, and we can't very well do that if you're dead.'_ She slid the paper to him as the bell rang. He pulled it up and started laughing, stuffing it in to his pocket.

"You'll have to come by our house to play; Jasper and I have a large setup, with our own rules. No one else will play with us." He laughed broadly, she slipped her notebook in to her bag, shaking her head. "Though our matches usually take days, if not weeks."

"Where have you been all of my life?" She said theatrically in a quiet tone, clutching her chest as she grinned.

"Finally! I knew you'd come around!" He said in response with a laugh. She shook her head as they entered the cafeteria. It was still early, though her eyes fell on Edward and Bella.

"Edward and Bella seem fairly chummy lately." Lucy grinned as she walked towards the lunch line. Emmett walked behind her.

"Yeah, they're pretty enamored with one another." He shook his head.

"Can you not tell your siblings about all of this?" She asked him as she put an apple on her tray. "I'd rather _not_ have everyone think I'm some kind of freak."

"I can promise that they won't think you're a freak." He told her honestly, she raised an eyebrow elegantly as she looked to him with disbelief. "Okay, Rose probably does. But she hardly counts as any judge of character. She doesn't like anyone."

"No, of course not. She's perfect, why should she like anyone that is anything less than extraordinary." Lucy rolled her eyes with a laugh. Suddenly a light went on in her mind as she paid for her lunch. Jasper and Rosalie had said they were twins, though they obviously _were not_. His mother would have told her, and he had told her himself during those three days that he had been an only child.

"I'll see you later, Em. Have a great spring break. Try not to get in to any fights with bears while you're out hiking or anything." She grinned cheekily as she grabbed utensils at the end of the line. "Not that a bear would harm you, heavens knows you're big enough to take out anything that so much as looked in your direction."

"Like a bear would try to mess with me." Emmett laughed in response. She scoffed, shaking her head once more at him. She was walking to her table when she stopped and turned; he was nearing his table, and his siblings, sans Edward, were all waiting for him.

"Hey Emmett, could you not, though?" Lucy called out to him, he was only a few feet away, but she felt the eyes of the Cullen children on her, Edward and Bella as well. A lump formed in her stomach. She looked at him, almost pleadingly.

"No problem, Luce." He grinned, making a motion as though to say his lips were sealed.

Lucy sighed with relief as she turned to her table, realizing that her table was also watching her, as were a couple of other students.

"She doesn't want anyone to know that she's got the hots for Jasper, here." She heard Emmett say with a loud laugh, she could hear him patting the boys back as he chuckled. She shook her head as she approached her table, awaiting the impending doom.

"You like Jasper? Why would you tell Emmett, but not us?" Sam looked deeply insulted. "We've been best friends since freshman year."

"I do not fancy Jaz-per." She said with a frown, realizing that she had almost called him 'Jazz', it was much easier than saying his whole name, though it definitely displayed a certain level of friendliness; you don't generally use nicknames for people whom you don't know very well, and she had been quite content upholding the image of not knowing them outside of school. She didn't need anyone to raise questions; everyone already thought Bella was weird and out of the ordinary for dating Edward; she didn't need that.

"What were you talking about? What can't he do?" Sam frowned, unrelenting in her curiosity as she drilled the smaller girl. Lucy frowned, playing in her food with her fork. It looked like some sort of alfredo concoction that smelled even worse than it looked.

"Since _someone_ wasn't in U.S. History, I was forced to play a game of chess with him. Long story short, Tyler Lewis surprised me, causing me to lose." Lucy grimaced, still upset over having lost, and having to deal with Tyler. "Of course, Emmett found it hilarious, but THEN Tyler had the audacity to ask me to Prom, which Emmett found even more amusing. So he is trying to encourage the fool, which I will not stand for; I cannot stand Tyler Lewis."

"He _didn't_." Sam hissed, her blue eyes wide with disgust. "He is the creepiest boy in school, and he is encouraging it?!"

"I know, horrible!" Lucy cried out, throwing her hands out. "It will be the death of me!"

"We'll find you another date, you won't have to go with a sleaze-ball like him." Sam said in a reassuring tone.

"Really?! You'll find me a date!" Lucy said over eagerly, clutching her hands to her chest with her eyes wide in sarcastic gratitude. "That is so kind of you!"

"You hate dances anyway, why bother." Sam grumbled. "I don't understand why; you love dancing, and you love dressing up."

"Yes, I should love being in a crowded gym with a bunch of hormonal idiots who want to do nothing but shake their derriere's as though to flamboyantly exhibit their ability to reproduce." Lucy glowered with a drawl, disgusted at the thought of it.

"We don't want to _reproduce_." Sam frowned defensively, cringing her nose. "Just practice a bit, maybe."

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." Lucy felt her appetite disappear at the idea of going to a dance with the pure expectation of finding someone to sleep with. "You make a whorehouse out of a high school dance."

"Not everyone belongs in the 19th century, Luce. We're in the 21st century now, we don't have to be prudish anymore." Sam shrugged, taking a bite of a carrot, impervious to the disgusted, nearly sick, look that Luce was giving her. "You should really loosen up; you're almost 18; you need to get laid. Have some fun."

Lucy froze as she watched her bubbly blonde friend. It was nothing new to hear from her, yet for some reason, Lucy wanted nothing more than to scream at her friend for being entirely irresponsible and foolish; Sex was not something that you casually did with strangers, it was something you did to have children, that you did out of necessity, not out of pleasure. She realized that her morals were very much from her upbringing, though certain things were difficult to shake out; this being one of them. At least five minutes must have passed as she looked blankly to Sam, her eyes blinking automatically as she looked somewhat shocked. She couldn't even find the words to sputter a response.

"Lighten up!" Sam laughed out loudly as her friends all got a laugh at her appalled, shocked expression. "It's our senior year, at least try to have some fun."

"You want me to go? Fine. I'll go. Let's go to Seattle, you can pick out my clothes. Pick out my date. Whatever. I'll be more..._ liberal._" Lucy said slowly, she didn't _want_ to be more liberal, as she had put it. Though she had spent over a hundred years being a pent up prude, and it got her nothing. What harm could one night of recklessness do?

"_YES!_" Sam exclaimed gleefully, nearly jumping out of her seat in excitement. "We are going to make you so hot."

Lucy felt her stomach lurched at the wicked gleam in her friends eyes. Amber looked nearly excited as Sam had, they were exchanging looks as though Christmas had just come early. A wave of uncomfortable fear washed over her at the realization that she had just handed her life over to a couple of teenage girls who had thought that a 'sex ed' course taught them how to have sex, not about diseases. Girls who thought that dressing 'modestly' was more a suggestion than a necessity, and that miniskirts and low-cut sweaters were perfectly suitable for winter weather. She'd just given two of the most superficial girls in school the opportunity to make over their dorky best friend; Christmas _had_ come early for them.

* * *

**A/N:**_ So I changed my mind about a couple of things in the earlier chapters; I wasn't sure if I said that Jasper's family had died or not, but I changed my mind, and his mother was alive; also, I said he had blue eyes, but I decided I wanted him to have brown eyes while he was alive. And Lucy and Emmett aren't going to end up together, or anything like that, more will be on it later, I just figured that Emmett seemed like he'd be friendlier with mortals than the others, and she needs her foot in the family._


	5. Chapter 5: Hello

**Chapter Five:****_ Hello_**

* * *

_'Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping.  
__Hello, I'm still here,  
__all that's left of yesterday.'_

_Evanescence - Hello_

* * *

The sound of rain could be heard pounding against the ground, bouncing eagerly against the pavement as it formed puddles of mud where dirt had accumulated. Lucy sat with a frown at the end of a hard hospital bed, the white paper crunching beneath her as she swung her legs in a bored fashion. She sighed as she glanced out the window.

"Do you think she'll be okay?" Amber asked softly. Lucy glanced over to the other bed in the room; bruises were forming slowly on her cheek, a scrape across her left eyebrow.

"I don't know." Lucy said, her tone steady, and void of any emotion. She watched the rain, her eyes blinking slowly. A dark purple bruise was forming around her nose, her eyes hurt, though the painkiller had helped ease the pain that she knew she should have been feeling. Bandages covered her shoulder and arms. Despite the puffiness, her face looked angered.

"I'm really sorry; I'll save up and buy you a new car." Amber said tentatively, fear apparent in her tone as it wavered slightly.

"_You'll buy me a new car_?" Lucy hissed, turning to look at the girl with venom in her tone. Her puffy eyes narrowed; she winced slightly. She had spun her head too quickly causing spots of light to dance in front of her eyes as she held on to a bed frame to steady herself. "Sam has been in the operating room for an _hour and a half_, and you're offering to reimburse me for the car? _She could die_."

"I know! I'm sorry, Lucy!" Amber cried out. Lucy stood up, wincing as she stepped on her bruised leg. Nothing was broken; not in her body anyways. Her nose, however, was another matter. It had been shattered entirely. They gave her painkillers, and told her to lay down until they got more surgeons in. It had been the middle of Sunday evening in Forks. There wasn't much of a need for surgeons; and the ones that were there had all rushed in to help Sam. Lucy glanced back at Amber with a frown, shaking her head. The girls blue eyes were pouring with tears.

"It's not entirely your fault, it could have happened to anyone." Lucy sighed; they had been driving back from Seattle. It was getting dark out, and raining hard. Lucy had driven to Seattle so Amber offered to drive the way back. They were twenty miles out of town when an animal ran across the road. Screeching on the breaks quickly they swerved to miss the animal, in turn, hitting a large tree. Sam had been sitting in the middle of the back; she'd just taken her seat-belt off to do something and had flown head first out the window and on to the forest floor.

Lucy would have been fine, bruised at most, though when they hit the tree, the car had rolled on to it's side. Her side. With her head turned to the side the airbag had no where else to impact but her cheek. When the car rolled her head crashed against the frame of the door, shattering her nose and the window in one swift movement.

Glancing up, she looked to Amber and tried to smile. The movement hurt her cheeks, and the pain killers only went so far. It was more of a grimace than a smile, though Amber smiled in return. She had cuts from the glass, and bruising from the airbag, though otherwise she was unscathed.

"She'll be okay. She might look a bit uglier; but it will give her a reason to get that plastic surgery she pretends not to want." Lucy said lightly, Amber laughed, sniffling at the thought.

"I think she's the only one she's fooling. She hated her nose. It was too Jewish for her." Amber laughed with a slight hiccup. It had been what Sam always said, complaining that her nose was too big, it was her fathers 'Jewish' nose. She was always attractive, though her nose was easily her strongest feature.

"She had a whole 'look book' for how much she hated her looks." Lucy grinned. Honestly, her heart was racing, and she was dreading the worst; everyone died that she was close to; Sam would be no different... but she couldn't let Amber know that. She needed to keep the girl comfortable, and relaxed. She could go in to shock, and that would be bad. "We'll all be fine for prom, it's like our spring break adventure! Some kids go to Cancun, we went to the hospital!"

"How delightful." Amber laughed lightly. Lucy laughed slightly, though the laugh turned to a wince as a wave of pain from her cheeks shot through her entire body. She looked out the window, she wouldn't let Amber know she was in pain; she hated being in pain; she hated showing pain. Even as a child, she would pretend that she wasn't in pain, she didn't want anyone to view her as weak, or decrepit.

"Ah, Miss Louhi, I believe you were told not to leave the bed." A slightly amused tone came from the door. Lucy turned and could feel her mouth dropping. She had heard many things about Carlisle Cullen, though looking at him in person was nothing short of amazing. She suddenly understood why some women had been feigning sick so often. He was absolutely beautiful.

"I feel fine." Lucy said as she shook her head slowly, shaking the thoughts of the older man out of her mind. He was married, and she went to school with his children. Yet he looked more like a movie star than a doctor.

"You don't look it. Come have a seat here." He told her with a frown. She couldn't help but oblige, jumping up to sit on the bed. Her entire right side was turning a deep shade of purple where she had slammed against the side of the car.

"It could have been worse for all of you." He told her as he flashed a light in to her eyes slowly. He began touching her cheek gently, his hands felt as cold as ice against her hot skin. "We'll have to take you in for surgery, do your parents know that you're here?"

"I don't have any parents, Sir." She said quietly, something she always hated talking about. She had long gotten over the death of her parents, though it was hard to make up a lie about how they had died in a tragic car accident a year before she moved there. "They died in a car accident when I was 14. I live on my own in town."

"I'm sorry." He told her. She got the feeling that he genuinely felt bad for her; she could imagine the scenarios in his head, everyone she told had the same outlook. Though it generally got her out of talking about her past. At the close proximity she saw that his eyes were the same golden yellow as his children's. At the close level she could see flecks of browns and blacks in them.

"Your eyes are amazing." She said quietly, she hadn't realized she had even spoke until she heard her voice. She felt her cheeks burn up with embarrassment.

"I'm sorry, I've always admired your children's eyes, but I never saw them this close. They are absolutely awe inspiring." She mused, watching his eyes. He laughed lightly, a musical laughter. She could tell Amber was watching her curiously.

"Thank you." He told her with a slight smile. "We can get you in to surgery as soon as you feel ready for it."

"So when I go in to surgery, what are you going to do? I know I'll need my nose to be reconstructed, it's entirely shattered, but how are you going to shape it? I mean, I really don't want to have an ugly nose." She said in a noncommittal fashion, grinning as she said it. She heard Amber try to hold back a laugh. "I mean, not that I care _that_ much; but it is going to be on my face for the rest of my life."

"I promise you, I will not make your nose ugly." He shook his head as she grinned. Amber had a slight fit of giggles at the conversation.

"What? I'm never going to get a guy to like me if I've got a huge nose like Sam." Lucy said with a shrug. "I know for a fact, that while it was cute on her, it would look absolutely atrocious on me. What with my chipmunk cheeks, and lips the size of Texas."

"Your lips are not the size of Texas." Amber said, shaking her head, though she was grinning.

"I'll call you once they let me out, okay? Once Sam gets out we'll go get new dresses. This way we get to go shopping _again!_" Lucy said with a gleeful expression as she stood up. Carlisle was standing by the door holding a wheelchair. Lucy walked to the chair.

"I'll find the most atrocious balloons I can for you guys." Amber said, frowning as Lucy sat in the chair, glancing to her.

"I very well hope that you tell everyone lies, exagerate it as much as possible. Give 'em somethin' to talk 'bout." Lucy said cheekily. Amber laughed.

"Good luck with your surgery, Luce. I really am sorry about your car." The brunette girl said quickly, her tone filled with sorrow.

"It's fine, Am. Cars aren't important, People are." Lucy said with a soft smile. "So long as we all come out alive, it's no hair off my back."

Carlisle then wheeled her out. She sighed, falling back in to the chair, no longer smiling.

"Is Sam going to be okay? She looked horrible when I was pulled out of the car." Lucy asked quietly, she felt tired, and in immense pain. The painkiller had worn off, and she suddenly felt as bad as she looked. Her face felt as though it were on fire.

"I'm surprised you were able to see anything. The paramedics said you were covered in your own blood." He told her. She could hear him frowning.

"I looked worse than I was." She told him softly. She pulled a slight bandage from her arm, peering down at it. "I heal abnormally fast, so by the time the blood is pouring out, it usually closes up. Unless of course there's something _in_ the cut. I once fell off of a cliff and had a rock heel _under_ my skin because I hadn't been able to pick it out in time. Now _tha_t was painful. This is nothing."

"You must be very healthy." He commented casually, wheeling her in to an empty elevator.

"A little too healthy." She grumbled. "I've had more than one occasion where I _should_ have died, but didn't."

"You're lucky, not everyone gets that." He told her. He was trying to cheer her up as her mood had taken a turn for the worse as the pain pulsed harder.

"Am I lucky, or cursed?" She asked, glancing up at him curiously, her brow furrowed slightly, though it only caused pain.

"Why would you be cursed to live?" He asked her as the doors shut. She glanced at the shutting doors, leaning back in to the chair. Her face hurt, though she could feel it adjusting itself.

"Because I _can't_ die." She said quietly, feeling a traitorous tear go down her cheek. It wasn't a tear of sadness, but the pain in her face nearly felt overwhelming. "I've never tried, granted... but I _should_ be dead now."

"The accident wasn't as bad as it could have been." He told her, watching the floors tick by. The elevator seemed to be moving slowly. The hospital was five stories tall, they had been on the ground floor, though her surgery was to be on the fifth floor. How long could it have possibly taken them to get there?!

"Look at my face, Dr. Cullen... Tell me this is normal." He glanced down at her face; she could feel the change. It no longer hurt as badly to furrow her brows; her nose hurt, but she could feel it readjusting itself, the bones readjusting themselves as though by magic. "Tell me that this is not the least bit strange."

"How are you doing that?" He asked her, watching in curiosity as they reached the fifth level. He stopped the doors from opening as he looked at her face.

"I am a witch, and _willed_ it to happen." She retorted dryly, shaking her head incredulously. "I don't know how I do it. It just happens every time something happens to me."

"Emmett had seemed surprised that you were in the hospital. Does he know about you?" he asked her gently, the door opened as people wanted in. He pushed her out, and they went in to an operating room, though it was purely for show at this point as her face was quickly returning to normal on its own. The pain killers helped to ease the pain, though it also made it so that her body wasn't able to repair itself.

"Yes, I lost a game of chess to him." She said, begrudgingly as she hadn't wanted to admit defeat. "He still owes me a rematch."

"He did tell me to bring you over when you were better so that he could beat you again." Carlisle told her as she stood up, walking over to a reflective surface to poke at her nose. She rarely got in to accidents, though it was always interesting when she did, because she would simply heal up within minutes, to hours depending on how badly she was injured.

"If he hadn't cheated I woulda beat him the first time." She grumbled. She turned and sat on the table that he would have operated on her on. She frowned at herself as she heard her accent coming out stronger; it always came out after being injured badly; or when extremely mad. It was like a horrible secret that she was ashamed of and didn't want anyone to find out.

"May I?" He asked as he leant towards her face.

"You're the doctor." She told him with a frown.

"How old are you, honestly? When did you realize that you couldn't die?" He asked her, poking at her nose. It felt tender, though no more than if she had simply been punched in the face. It didn't feel as though she'd just gotten in to a horrific accident.

"I don't actually keep track of how old I am anymore. I could do the math, though it's quite depressin'. I was born on July 7th, in 1845, in Galveston Texas. I was always perfect and dependable Lucy Merriweather. After the war I trained to be a nurse; I've always been good at healin' people." She said; she hated how sugary her voice sounded, but it was no use holding it back, it came out either way. "When I was a young girl my mother had an old rabbit, nearly 10 years older than I was. Now the average life expectancy of rabbits is 8 to 12 years, so he was already quite old. That rabbit didn't die 'til I was 16. Tell me when have you ever heard of a rabbit living for twenty-six years! My mother said that I kept it alive, like I kept everything alive. But it didn't make any sense since everyone around me always kept dyin'!"

"In all of my years I have never seen anything like this; it's outstanding." He said, pressing her nose gently, feeling around her brow bone. "You've got some bruising, but the bones have realigned themselves, and healed immaculately."

"May I see Sam?" She asked with a frown as he poked at her nose. He seemed to step back with a look of deep thought.

"Do you think you could help her?" He asked her curiously. She frowned at the feeling that she was suddenly a science project. Though to be honest, she hadn't actually tried to heal anyone in at least 30 years. She had worked as a nurse in the 1970's in Pennsylvania, though she had left when they started becoming suspicious that she was supposed to be thirty yet she didn't look a day over 16. She had always looked young for her age, though even that sounded ridiculous for her.

"I haven't tried in at least 30 years." She frowned, standing up slowly. She had seen the injuries, they looked bad. "How are her vitals?"

"She is stable; we were able to stop her internal bleeding, and bandage up all of her exterior abrasions, though she got hit very bad." He frowned grabbing a bandage. "You should put this on, they knew you were coming in for a rhinoplasty."

"Right." She frowned as he placed bandages over her nose that made it difficult to breath. After a minute had passed she sat in the wheelchair and they exited towards the elevator. She had been hoping that it would be empty, though at the last moment a young woman entered. She glowered darkly at the woman, though they only went down one floor. She gulped inwardly. The ICU.

"She's this way." Dr. Cullen said as he wheeled her in to a room that held one bed. She felt her breath hitch in her throat at the sight of respirators and other medical contraptions that were never a good sign. "Her parents were out of town in Oregon, though they should be here in a matter of hours."

"I told her to keep her seat-belt on." Lucy muttered to no one in particular as he shut the door, pulling the curtains shut casually. She stood and approached the bed, touching her hand to the girls head slowly. Her other hand reached for her wrist, grabbing it gently to feel her pulse, though it was on the machine besides her.

"Do you mind if I sit alone with her for a few moments?" Lucy asked cautiously; she suddenly felt extremely self conscious at having Carlisle standing there watching her as though she were performing a spectator sport. He looked as though he was debating telling her no.

"You may have 10 minutes, though any longer and the nurses would start to question it." He said with a frown, he glanced to the broken remains of the blonde girl before he opened the door and exited.

Lucy turned to her friend and sighed. Her pulse was slow, but steady. Her head felt hot, and clammy. She could tell that the bleeding had been bad; she was alive, though if she got an infection it wouldn't take much to tip her over. She had never known _how_ she did it, just that she had been able to heal people. Of course, if they were dying, they would die regardless of her efforts, but there was always hope. It was rather, she could speed up the healing process. She couldn't stop a disease from spreading, she couldn't cure an illness; though she could heal wounds. Or at least help them heal more quickly. She looked to the bandages and tubes coming out of Sam and fought back the urge to cry, and tried her hardest to focus on healing her. She had spent years trying to understand it; but there was never any conclusion. She knew she wasn't a saint, she wasn't a miracle worker, there were limits to what she did... but she was definitely not normal. She supposed it was in part why, or because, she had always been so compassionate towards everyone; complete strangers included. It was as though she _had_ to care for them, there was no choice in the matter. Even if she had hated the person she had to care. She had to try to save them. Holding Sam's larger, cold hands, she closed her eyes and thought as hard as possible at healing her wounds.

Lucy had been so wrapped up in her thoughts that she hadn't heard the door open as Carlisle returned to the room. Though moments after he entered, she felt Sam's left hand twitch. She closed her eyes more tightly, if she allowed her concentration to break it may not work at all; she could die. A light coughing, however, forced Lucy's eyes to fly open. Sam was sitting still, coughing on the tube down her throat. Carlisle was at her side in a blur before Lucy could blink. She continued to hold her hands, watching in awe as Sam opened her eyes, looking confused, and slightly pained. Carlisle glanced to Lucy tentatively before looking back to Sam.

"We put a feeding tube in, but I'm going to pull it out. Lay back, and stay still. It shouldn't hurt." Carlisle said softly, pulling the tube out very slowly, and cautiously. Once he pulled it out, he set it on a tray that Lucy hadn't seen before, and he was now wearing gloves that she hadn't seen him put on.

"Luce? What happened?" Sam furrowed her brows in confusion. Her bruises remained, and there were still bandages all over her body, though she lifted her arm as she looked down at it curiously. "Did we hit that animal?"

"No, Sam." Lucy said, unable to hold back from smiling as she clutched her friends' hand. "We hit a tree. You flew at least ten feet out of the car 'cause you were an idiot who took off their seat belt."

"I what?" Her eyes were wide. "No wonder I'm so bandaged up. What happened to you?"

"I just bumped my nose when the car flipped. Nothing too bad." Lucy said brightly, practically forgetting that Carlisle was even there until he stood besides the bed.

"How are you feeling?" Carlisle asked, holding her charts in his hand.

"Sore, but I don't feel that bad. I thought we were going to die!" Sam exclaimed, her hands clutching Lucy's now. Lucy reached a hand up to wipe tears from her eyes. "What are you crying for, Luce? You're not supposed to cry, you're the strong one."

"You have no idea how worried we were about you." Lucy shook her head, trying to sober up as she took deep breaths. "Amber feels horrible."

"We're all alive, and no one was hurt too seriously. She shouldn't feel that bad." Sam said, shaking her head. "Amber always over reacts."

"Yes." Lucy said with a small smile, though the truth of the matter was that Amber _hadn't_ been over-reacting. It was nearly as likely that she could have died, than if she had lived. It was moments like this, that made her strange freakish gift worth while. "Amber always has been one for theatrics."

"I-" Sam began, but suddenly there was a light tapping at the door.

"Dr. Cullen, her family is here." The nurse said, smiling warmly to the handsome doctor.

"Send them in." Carlisle said, bowing his head politely. Lucy stood up besides Carlisle and then a tall, slender woman with a mess of brown hair entered, followed by a tall man with greying blonde hair.

"How is-" The woman began through her sobs, though her eyes then settled on Sam, realizing that she was awake. "My Baby! You're awake! They said you were in a comatose state!"

"I'm fine, Mom. It wasn't that bad." Sam said as her mother latched on to her tightly.

"What happened?" The older woman said, her eyes narrowing as she looked to Lucy. "Were you the one that did this to my daughter?"

"We were driving home from Seattle, and swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a moose. _Sam_ had taken off her seat-belt, and when we stopped she went flying through the windshield." Lucy said, her tone level, though it was obvious that she was biting her tongue as her jaw set. "You are lucky to have such a proficient doctor, as _your daughter_ could have been seriously injured. Accidents like this happen all the time, though when children are wearing their seat belts as directed to, they are not injured nearly as badly."

"Are you-" The woman began to ignore her daughter to go at the smaller girl.

"Mrs. Davis, I must ask you to calm down. I cannot have you exciting my patients. Lucy is not to blame for your daughters recklessness. This accident was not her fault. We will run more tests on your daughter in the morning after she has rested to check her progress. We shall leave you to talk with Sam." Carlisle said politely, with a tone of authority. Mrs. Davis looked very put out, though obliged as she returned to Sam's side.

"I'll come back to visit you tomorrow, Sam." Lucy said with a slight smile to her friend, though she was unable to contain her anger at her mother for being so presumptuous and horrid.

"Would you like to spend the night with my family? I do not think it best for you to stay here, though I would like to monitor you further. You took quite a blow to the head. I would also like to discuss this with you. I believe we have a lot to talk about." He told her as they entered the elevator once more, though this time they were alone.

"I would like that." she said, frowning as she forced down a yawn. "Though I'm feeling a bit sleepy. I should probably nap a bit."

"Of course." He told her politely as the doors shut. "Would you like to come with me?"

"Considering my car is wrapped around a tree somewhere in the woods, that would be great." She smiled appreciatively.

"I will call Esme and tell her that we will be having a guest. She will be pleased; we do not often have guests." Carlisle smiled, pulling out a cellphone from his pocket.

"Hello, Esme?... We will be having a special guest this evening... No, it's not Bella and Edward. It's one of the girls from the accident this afternoon, I believe she knows the children... Yes, I believe she will be fine... I love you, too. I will see you soon." He hung up the phone.

"Esme is very eager to meet you, though I must warn you, we do not often get house guests, so she may be over zealous to meet you." He warned Lucy. She smiled at the thought; she hadn't truly been a welcome guest in a home for many years; at least not when they knew what a freak she was. Everyone always said that they would be accepting of different people, though when it came down to it, very few truly were.

* * *

There were no words that Lucy could use to explain the Cullen's house. It was the most beautiful house she had seen in all of her years; a long winding dirt road, thick woods, and then a field with tall cedars larger than many she'd ever seen... and then the house itself was nothing short of breathtaking. It was at least three stories tall, it looked old, at least a hundred years; with tall pillars, and a large porch that must have went all the way around the house. As she slowly stepped out she could hear the soft sound of a river rushing, and a cold breeze danced between her exposed legs that jutted out from the bottom of a modest hospital dress. Before they had even left the garage the door opened. Lucy glanced up to see a gorgeous woman with caramel hair that fell in waves around her face.

"Lucy, this is my wife Esme. Esme, this is Lucy." Carlisle politely introduced the two women.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Ma'am. Your house is absolutely breath taking." Lucy said politely, bowing slightly to the woman.

"Please, call me Esme." The woman said warmly.

"Thank you for lettin' me in to your home." Lucy told her, with a slight smile as the woman welcomed her in.

"You were in the accident? The boys said that it was a horrible site." Esme said with a worried tone as the three entered the house. Lucy was as impressed by the modern inside, as she had been by the old fashioned outside.

"I-" Lucy began, though before she realized what had happened she was swept off the ground by an unseen force.

"Luce! You're alive!" The loud voice of Emmett said. She felt the world spin around quickly, her head getting light as she felt dizzy.

"Put me down you oaf." Lucy fought back, hitting his back slightly, amazed at how hard, and cold he was. She laughed as he sheepishly put her down. She clutched his arm tightly as the hallway seemed to spin about her head. She glowered at him.

"Emmett, that isn't a very nice way to greet our guest." Esme said with a stern tone, though it was still soft and loving.

"We went to see the wreckage; the car looked _trashed_, and there was blood _everywhere_." Emmett said wildly, his eyes going wide and his arms going out to elaborate just how bad it was. "I don't know how any of you survived. You humans are delicate creatures."

"Yes well, I'm good at survivin' things." Lucy said with a slight laugh.

"Are the others okay?" Emmett frowned, folding his arms in a stern manner. She raised an eyebrow and reciprocated the behavior.

"They are fine." Lucy shook her head, laughing at his behavior. "I thought that Sam wasn't gonna to make it, but she's pullin' through."

"She would have died if you hadn't helped her." Carlisle spoke up. She glanced back to see him and frowned slightly. "I would like to speak more with you about that once you have gotten a chance to rest more."

"I made food for her, no talking before she eats." Esme said, holding her arm softly as she led her through the house. "It's so nice to have someone around the house that eats. Bella always eats before she comes over, and Edward doesn't like to bring her over; he's so protective of her. Not that I can blame him."

"Oh." She said slowly, feeling as though she were missing a key part of their conversations. It suddenly seemed much more confusing, though she simply smiled and pretended that she understood. "Thank you for makin' me food."

"It was my pleasure." Esme said excitedly. Lucy froze when she entered the kitchen. There must have been enough food for at least three meals. There was no way she could eat that much.

"You really didn't have to ma'am. This is far too much food for little ol' me." Lucy said as she slowly entered the kitchen behind the woman.

"You can take whatever you don't eat home! I may have gotten a bit carried away. I do miss cooking." Esme smiled sheepishly. Lucy smiled appreciatively as she sat on a barstool at the counter. She glanced out the window as Esme piled a plate high with food for her.

"The views here are phenomenal." Lucy said in awe of the scenery.

"When we found the house, I knew that we had to restore it. That is a hobby of mine, fixing up old houses." The warm woman said. Lucy was unsure of why, but there was something that made her feel instantly comfortable around the woman, she couldn't help but like her.

"It smells delicious." Lucy held a fork out tentatively, her pale fingers clutched it delicately as she brought a bite to her mouth. Esme was watching her as though fearful that it wouldn't be edible. Her stomach lurched with fear that perhaps it would poison her... it was a pasta of some sort, she hadn't been sure what kind; but it tasted perfectly normal. She chewed it slowly, Esme watched her with baited breath. "It tastes even better. Thank you." The older woman smiled in relief, and pride that she had cooked a decent meal.

"Once you're done, you and me, chess." Emmett said, appearing out of no where behind her. He sidled in besides her.

"Don't you have someone else to bother?" Lucy raised an eyebrow at him with a smirk. "Where's Rosalie?"

"Her and Alice are shopping in France." He rolled his eyes. Lucy laughed at his tone. She had been raised to expect the finer things in life, many of her 'friends' had been the type of girls that would have ordered things from France simply to say that they had been made by the top fashion house in France that had clothed the queen. She enjoyed nice clothes, though it all seemed frivolous and slightly pointless; it served nothing more than to uphold an image. "Alice's new friend went with them, but I had better things to do with my week off of school."

"Because you pay attention to when you do, and do not, have school. You miss more school than anyone I've ever met. I'm over 160 years old; so that's sayin' something." She grinned at him as she said it.

"You're only 70 years older than I am, it's not like you're _that_ old." He rolled his eyes at her, she shook her head and continued eating, though she was quite confused, and intrigued. They way he said it made it as though he wasn't joking, he wasn't lying; but there was something missing. They all knew why they were old, and it was more likely than not for the same reason. Both Carlisle, Emmett, and Esme had the same cold skin; she suspected all of them did. And they all seemed to assume that she knew what they were, at least for now.

"Young'n." She muttered under her breath, though she had a broad cheshire grin as she looked up from her food. He roared loudly with laughter.

"Lucy? What are you doing here?"Lucy turned slowly, realizing that Jasper had now entered the kitchen and was standing besides Esme. She was certain he hadn't been there a moment before. In all of her years, she'd never quite seen anything like that, with the exception of during a brief stay in New Orleans with his mother. His mother had been like that; able to sneak up on her without her even noticing.

"You're just like your mother was, appearing out of no where and scarin' the wits out of me." She shook her head with a slight laugh. Esme looked confused, and Jasper looked shocked.

"You knew my mother?" He looked intensely at her, watching her with a frown. "How did you know her?"

"Um..." Lucy started awkwardly; she wasn't sure how to begin this conversation.

"How did you know me?" He asked her, his arms were folded as he leaned against the refridgerator, he suddenly looked extremely tense, and she suddenly felt extremely irritated, and anxious. She glanced to Emmett as though to beg for help, she didn't know why she was suddenly feeling so angry.

"Jasper, calm down. You're freaking her out." Emmett said firmly. Glancing between the two. "She met you before you disappeared; she only knew you for three days."

"You were in the the group of women and children?" He furrowed his brows, she felt the strange emotions relax a bit. "I can't remember anything from then. Everything from my life is a blur. Though I remember not having seen my mother since I joined the army."

"You leant me your jacket, because it was cold at night, and I had nothin' but a summer dress on; I had given my shall and jacket to a couple'a children that night. When we returned to Galvaston I went lookin' for you to return it, and thank you, though you had disappeared." She frowned, suddenly feeling slightly disappointed that he hadn't remembered her at all, she hadn't expected him to; he had made no sign to know her, yet she hadn't remembered him until she was sort of forced too. "You had not listed anyone to contact in case of emergency, or death; so when I spoke with your general about returning the jacket, he asked for my name. He must have gotten ahold of your mother, because less than a week after you disappeared she arrived at my house."

"She went to your house? What did you do?" He asked her, clearly intrigued to hear the story, though she got a slight sense of disbelief in his tone, his eyes were watching her inquisitively. Esme was watching her curiously.

"I let her stay in my guest bedroom, and I helped her look for you until she died of Malaria while we were in New Orleans. She was a very kind woman. It was October 27th, I believe." She told him cautiously; Jasper had never been known to have a good temper, though he seemed in slightly better spirits at this point, and his family was around him. It was silent enough to hear a pin drop. She could hear her heart racing, it reverberated against the walls. She then had a dark realization; she could not hear _their_ hearts. Certainly hers was not beating so abnormally fast that only hers could be heard. They didn't even seem to be breathing! Their pale complexions, without a hint of blush to them, the coldness... they were not alive.

"Why did you help her? If you only knew me for three days; why would you help a stranger out in that way?" He asked her with a frown. His voice was unusually soft, they all sounded extremely musical; they were the most beautiful creatures she'd ever seen, almost inhumanly so... she had searched high and low for Jasper with his mother, they had even spoken with voodoo queens who said that they sensed his soul, but that they could not find him. They were _dead_. She could feel her face whiten as she choked a bit, stumbling off the chair in shock. Emmett caught her before she hit the ground with catlike reflexes. They all held the same haunted eyes, with light purple circles under them that hardly seemed noticeable; the pale skin... she was just a freak of nature that had managed to stay alive forever; they were dead; they were no longer alive. If her heart raced any faster it would have pounded out of her chest.

"Are you all right, Luce? Calm down." Emmett said in a soothing tone as he held her up. She could feel herself hyperventilating. She knew that she should have been calm about it, there had to have been a perfectly good explanation about it, though at this point, she was beyond seeing it.

"I need to go to bed." She said quickly, taking gulps of air.

"I'll show you to your room. Is the food making you ill?" Esme said, her tone was warm, and inviting. It made her want to relax, though she couldn't relax. She'd known these people for two years, they'd been nothing but polite, and kind... they were like her. But they weren't; she was alive, they were dead. It scared her more than anything. Even as she allowed the beautiful dead woman besides her to lead her up the stairs slowly she couldn't quite grasp the idea.

"The food was delicious. I just need to sleep; everything will make sense when I wake up." Lucy said quietly as she entered a beautifully decorated room. "Thank you."

"If you need anything don't bother to call for me." Esme said with a smile as she walked to the door. "Sleep well."

Lucy lay on the bed, pulling the covers over herself. She couldn't believe that they were dead, that there _was_ something weird going on. It was unsettling, and it made her feel sick to her stomach. She wanted to cry from enraged frustration, it made no sense. She felt nothing but confusion, and fear. Despite this, the moment her head hit the pillow she fell in to a fitful sleep.

* * *

**A/N: **_Hey guys, Thanks for reading. Please review and let me know what you think. Thanks. :D_


	6. Chapter 6: Keep on Breathing

**Chapter Six:**_** Keep On Breathing**_

* * *

_Just another list of consequences of things that we do,  
__Just another hit of happenings that we have to live through.  
__In and out of all the reasons, and all the "whys" and "wherefores,"  
__We just want to keep on breathing._

_The Delgados - Keep On Breathing_

* * *

The house was abnormally quiet when Jasper and Emmett returned from hunting. It was still early in the afternoon, and the sky was a pale shade of grey as it threatened to rain lightly. Emmett disappeared instantly to call Rosalie, while Jasper looked around curiously. Despite knowing that Alice and Rosalie were in Europe, and that Edward was with Bella, he wasn't used to the house being so quiet. It was then, as he walked up the stairs at a casual pace, that he heard a slight movement, a soft speaking, and a wave of immense pain and discomfort. Following the sensation with a frown, he stopped in front of an ajar door to the guest room. Carlisle was sitting besides the bed, writing notes in a notebook quickly, deep frown on his features.

"Jasper, could you watch her while I return to the hospital?" Carlisle asked, not looking up from the bed. Jasper frowned as her scent hit his nose; it was light and took a lot of concentration to notice, but he was able to understand when the others said that each human smelled different. She had a soft scent, like melons and grass in the morning. An odd, summery smell, like the way it smelled before sunrise when the sky was lightening and there was fresh dew on the grass. She furrowed her brows tightly; she was in immense pain at something. He knew what Carlisle had truly meant in asking him to sit with her.

"Of course." Jasper told him quietly, approaching the bed. He didn't breath, though he didn't have to talk to her, which it made it slightly better. Carlisle thanked him before disappearing out of the room. Sitting on the chair he frowned; her life was in his hands. Even if she was as old as he, and had managed to live through a lot, she still had blood coursing through her veins; he still was envisioning ways to kill her without anyone knowing.

She looked small and delicate in the large bed. Her face seemed to relax as he tried to calm her; it worked. She was still in pain over something in her dreams; he hadn't dreamt in years and he had honestly forgotten how it felt. He'd so distanced himself from mortal life, that it felt odd to even be near one. Emmett had encouraged their friendship from the moment they had worked on a project, though Jasper suspected it was mostly because it got him out of listening to talk about the civil war. Glancing at her pale figure, he was struck with an odd memory, that seemed to stick out like a sore thumb. He wondered how he had not recognized her before; he hadn't disbelieved her story, though it confused him that he hadn't remembered, yet watching her sleeping made him recall something from the past that didn't seem to connect with any of his other memories.

* * *

_The moon hung low in the sky as the dark figure of a blonde man paced on a sandy beach besides the river. The fire in front of him had long died out, and the warm embers were nearly gone, leaving a soft trail of smoke that swirled in to the sky. It must have been at least two in the morning, though he knew it would be impossible to sleep._

_"Jasper, sit down. You're making me nervous." The small figure of a woman looked up from her spot on the sand, the moonlight made her face glow warmly. She propped herself up on one arm to look at him, frowning as she stifled a yawn.__ "You need your sleep, too."_

_"I'll be fine, Miss Lucy." He nodded his head, though he took her heed and sat on a log besides the fire. She was laying on a small blanket that he had brought with him. It was dirty, and smelled horrible, but she had taken it appreciatively. Her pale eyes were brimming with concern as she glanced up from the spot besides him, sitting up somewhat groggily._

_"How many times must I tell you not to call me miss?" She asked, the corners of her lips tugging in a smile. He couldn't help but smile back at her._

_"Lay back down, Lucy. I won't have you losing any sleep on my accord." He told her firmly. She frowned, though made no movement to lay; rather she folded her thin arms across her chest, his jacket had pooled around her waist, having been used to keep her body warm in the chilly night air._

_"I can't sleep." She sighed, turning slightly to lean her head against the log besides where he sat. Her eyes watched the stars slowly before she readjusted herself, resting an arm under her head as she looked up to him. "What's it like living on a farm?"_

_"Have you ever been on a farm?" He asked her. The sudden change of subject felt strange, but he would try to find the best way to describe it to her regardless._

_"No. I've lived in the city my whole life, this is the farthest I've ever been from home." She told him innocently, her brows furrowed slightly as she looked up to him. "Have most people been on farms?"_

_"You've never been on a farm?" He was unable to contain his fit of quiet laughter. She frowned, sitting up straight and folding her arms across her chest as she looked at him. While it was horribly amusing that she had never been on a farm, it only served to remind him even further of the differences between he and the smaller girl in front of him. He never would have met her were it not for the war, there would never have been a reason for their paths to cross. Bitterly he wondered why she had chosen to spend so much time with someone who she must have shared nothing in common with. Once he left Galveston, she would stay with her maids, and when the war had finished she would marry a stately man, like John Lewis. They would live in a large city house with their servants, and they would live a life of luxury that their parents had built for them. He would return to his farm with his mother to work, one day he would marry, and they would have children that would work on the farm with them. There was nothing about Lucy that he could envision working on a farm. She had probably not labored a day in her life._

_"What's wrong, Jasper?" She spoke quietly, her soft hands holding his between them gently. Her eyes filled with concern as she looked up from the sand to study his face._

_"Why are you not spending time with the others from your village? Why are you not with Lewis' family? They have more than welcomed you; yet you slander your name by staying away from the others with me." He told her, frowning with each word as the fear for her response bubbled in his chest. She looked at him darkly, though suddenly she started laughing a soft, musical giggle. She quickly buried her head on his knees, causing him a slight shock._

_"I do not see how my name could be slandered by spending time with you, and if they will speak ill of me for it, then they are deadbeats, and good riddance to them." She said firmly, watching him as her arms folded over his legs to look up at him. "I much prefer your company to theirs."_

_"Why?" He asked her honestly; it was rude to speak in such a way to a woman, yet, the very position that they were in was not appropriate. If anyone had seen them she most certainly should have been embarrassed. He had seen women from the town act this way towards other soldiers, though none of them held the same position as Lucy had. None of them seemed to hold such status._

_"I could ask you the same question. Why are you not with your men? Would you like me to leave you alone?" She asked him quietly, her eyes looked slightly hurt at the suggestion that he wanted her to leave. "Do I bother you?"_

_"No, not at all." He suddenly said, trying to calm her from growing worrisome. She furrowed her dark brows slightly, trying to understand what he was getting at. He tried to find a suitable way to tell her his thoughts, to not be rude, and to not upset her even more. "You're from a wealthy family, you've never had to work a day in your life. I am from a small farm; my mother couldn't even afford to spend money on a new jacket."_

_"I will buy you a new jacket." She frowned, still not understanding what he was getting at. "Once we get back in to town I will have Marietta take your measurements. She will make up a dozen if you would like."_

_"Don't you understand? We are completely different." He frowned at her, she yawned slightly, reminding him that it was late, and that she still needed to sleep._

_"I don't care if we are different." She sighed, laying her head on her hands, watching him through thick lashes. "You still haven't told me what it was like on a farm."_

_"Do you really wish to know?" He asked her with a defeated sigh, wondering why she had chosen to spend so much time with him, what had drawn her towards him, as opposed to the others that would have been better suited for her._

_"When this is over, will you bring me to your farm? I would love to see what it is really like." She said brightly, lifting her head back up. Her eyes shone with such brilliant light in the moon that she looked like a child at Christmas. It made no sense that she would want to see his farm, that she would want to be somewhere so commonplace._

_"If that is what you wish." He told her softly. She smiled broadly, yawning as she lay her head back down on his lap._

_"I would like that very much. Now will you tell me of it? I do not wish everyone to think me a fool that knows of nothing when I see it." She smiled, glancing up at him as she awaited his response. Gingerly she grabbed his hand with one of hers, not moving her eyes from his face. It was a small movement, yet it spoke mountains of the moment between them. Unable to hold back an instinctive smile he reached his free hand up, brushing her hair from the side of her face._

_"Living on a farm is very arduous; one must rise with the sun, and work until it sets," He began slowly, his throat constricting slightly with the realization of their intimate position; it was not a position of men and women who were respectable acquaintances. If any others were to see them, it would be rightly mistaken as a position of lovers, yet she had not minded it. She felt no shame for being so near to him, yet the doubt in his mind spoke loudly that once they had returned to her town, where everyone was in the light of day, she would be fervently embarrassed by him._

_"Do you have cows?" She asked him curiously, opening her eyes to glance up at him, his hand slipped suddenly to her shoulder. He froze in his spot briefly, unable to move. Though once the words cut through his thoughts he nearly laughed. "Or monkeys?"_

_"Monkeys?" He asked, his lips curling back with laughter at the idea of there being monkey's on a farm._

_"I've seen a picture of a monkey once. I have a book filled with pictures of animals, I love animals!" She exclaimed excitedly, stifling yet another yawn. "I think that life on a farm must be very exciting, I cannot imagine caring for so many animals."_

_"Monkeys do not live on farms, though we do have cows." He told her, his laughter subsiding._

_"I would have monkeys on my farm. And Llamas, and Horses." She said with a small smile as she closed her eyes again. "I'm sorry, I interrupted you. Go on."_

_"Don't you worry what they will think if they see you in such a position?" He asked her with a frown; he should have pulled away from her the moment she had sat up besides him, yet something inside of him had been too weak to fight it, it felt as though part of him had needed this moment; had wanted it._

_"Do you worry of that?" She asked, not opening her eyes as she remained stationary._

_"You are a young woman, you must uphold a respectable image for society." He told her darkly; he would ruin her image. "I have no image to protect; I may never see any of these people again. These are your friends, your family."_

_"If you are not worried, then I see no reason to be." She said quietly with yet another yawn. It seemed strange that he had only known her a day, yet it felt as though he had known her for his entire life. He was closer to her than he felt to anyone in his entire company. By the time he thought to speak again, he realized that she had fallen asleep on his lap. With a yawn he leaned back against the tree behind the log where he sat, his hand still resting in the hair on her shoulder, while she clutched his hand tightly even in her sleep. He was filled with an overwhelming sense of unworthiness, and pride. He would fight stronger, and work harder to be a better soldier... he would become someone worthy of her affection._

* * *

Jasper frowned at the memory, wondering how it had been possible to forget such a face. The memory had felt strangely intimate; far more intimate than the fleeting memories he had felt in the past. With a grimace he noticed that he had forgotten to continue calming her, and she had returned to being pained and restless. Whatever she was dreaming about had to have been horrible. He gently reached over, grabbing her hands with his, placing a hand over her forehead. She was warmer than he remembered, though he had also been alive at that time. She had a couple of scars that he hadn't noticed before, though glancing down at his arms he cringed at the thought that he had more than she would probably ever notice.

His throat burned as he could feel her pulse through her hand; against his will power, he took a soft breath. Her smell burned his throat; it was more potent up close than he had expected it to be. Yet as he glanced down to her sleeping figure, he tried his hardest to force the urge to kill her down. She wouldn't scream, the monster rationalized, no one would hear her... but he wanted to talk to her, to hear about her life. Why she was still alive, how she had known his mother, and how she had somehow ended up in Forks at the same time that they had. Yet his wonders were cut off when he felt her move slightly; she was waking.

* * *

_Cold, and hot_. That was the odd sensation that Lucy felt when she awoke. Her body felt as though it was burning in a sauna, while her head and hands were being covered in something cold. Slowly, cautiously, she opened her eyes. She furrowed her brow when she saw the tall figure of Jasper above her. He was standing besides her bed, looking very displeased and awkward. He held one of her hands, and his other was on her head. Suddenly, he glanced down with a frown. He instantly let go of her hand and practically disappeared as he jumped in to a chair besides the bed.

"Carlisle asked me to watch you; you weren't sleeping well." He told her firmly; his voice was smooth, and sweet. His eyes a dark black, with slight golden flecks.

"I never sleep well." She shook her head. Every night had been the same for as long as she could remember; it was why she was certain she had been cursed. She was forced to relive every memory she had ever accumulated in her sleep; no matter how minute the memory was it would reappear in her dreams at strange times. It was what made her memory so sharp; she couldn't forget it when she was always reminded of it.

"Why can't you sleep well?" He furrowed his brows. He seemed to pick up on her unease towards the topic. She shook her head as she stood from the bed, suddenly feeling much more cold. She turned her attention to the light-weight cotton hospital dress she had fallen asleep in. The fabric had wrinkled in her sleep, though she was thankful that the nurses had given her one of the more modest variations. Glancing outside she noticed that it was dark once again, leading her to wonder how long she had truly slept.

"I hate sleeping. I wish I never got tired." She said darkly, folding her arms as she looked outside. It was a beautiful view. She must have worn a heating blanket, as she now shuddered from the slight draft that came off of the old window. "Sleep is supposed to rejuvenate you; to let you forget your problems. Yet every time I close my eyes and allow myself to drift off, I am plagued with memories of my past. Down to the most minute detail. I cannot forget anything."

She gulped slightly as she remembered why she had gotten so worried last night; not because of the accident, or anything along those lines, but because the Cullens were dead. Her heart sped unconsciously in fear as she tried to find an explanation quickly in her mind. She sighed as she took deep breaths, telling herself that she should not think less of them; they've been nothing but nice to her. She reminded herself that the previous day she had been so excited to meet people who had lived as long as her; people that weren't accepted by others as being normal, that were shunned... yet now she wanted to shun them. She frowned in her hypocrisy. They deserved a fair chance. It was at that time that her stomach grumbled slightly.

"You're hungry." She heard Jasper comment, he almost sounded amused at it. "Esme threw away all of the food from yesterday, she thought that she poisoned you."

"No!" Lucy cried out, feeling instantly guilty. The woman was warmer hearted than anyone she had ever met, and she hadn't want to make her feel bad. "Her food was delicious; I just needed to sleep. Yesterday was a lot to handle."

"What happened? Your car looked horrible." Jasper said darkly. She turned to him curiously, wondering why he had suddenly changed from looking so uncomfortable. He had worse mood swings than a teenager. "I'm sure we have some food downstairs; Esme went on a shopping spree at the idea of having a human in the house."

"Can you not eat?" She frowned, furrowing her brows as she looked curiously. Perhaps it was another peculiarity of their 'condition.'

"Our bodies don't digest food; it doesn't taste good to us." He told her, holding the door open for her politely. She walked through, glancing around.

"Do you have a bathroom?" She asked sheepishly, obviously somewhat uncomfortable with the question. She watched as he looked nearly as awkward as she did.

"I think Esme has put stuff in the bathroom for you and Bella. She enjoys having house guests." Jasper said, opening a door across the hall from the guest room. He laughed stiffly as she walked in.

"Thank you. I'll try-" she began, but was stopped when Esme pushed Jasper out of the way.

"You're all right! I was so worried my cooking had killed you." Esme said, her voice full of sorrow.

"No! Not at all. I had a lot happen yesterday. I just needed to sleep it off." Lucy said, putting a smile on. Jasper seemed to eye her curiously, though Esme hugged her tightly, she was as cold and hard as Emmett had been. She hugged the woman back warmly. She could feel the attachment to the woman already formed; even if the woman wasn't alive.

"I brought you some clothes, I thought you might want to shower. I'll make you something to eat." Esme said warmly, handing Lucy a large armful of clothes.

"Thank you, Esme. You are by far one of the kindest women I've ever met." Lucy said politely, taking the clothes. Esme seemed to glow at this compliment, but shut the door quickly, undoubtedly shooing Jasper away.

The clothes that Esme had brought were, on closer inspection, not hers. She had suspected at first that they had went to her house... though that was not the case. It was, in fact, a pile of _new_ clothes. That were all in her size. Including the shoes that were very cute, and chic. The clothes were stylish, and nice. She wondered where Esme had found clothes during the time that she had been asleep. There were new bottles of shampoo, toothbrushes, toothpaste, and nearly every toiletry she could ever imagine. It was like being at a salon more than a bathroom. Esme had truly gone all out.

The shower was hot against her skin, relieving her tenseness. These people had welcomed her in to their home with open arms, without asking questions about anything, and she had been scared by them. She was probably just as strange as them, if not more so. She didn't even know what she was, so she couldn't get mad at them for her not knowing what they were. She tried to hurry, throwing on the clothes that Esme had chosen for her. She slipped on a pair of slacks with a loose silk top. She slipped a lightweight cardigan over it and found a brush to comb through her hair, and brushed her teeth quickly. Her hair was unruly. Wet curls fell down her back as she tried to tame it. She looked through the products and found a mousse, quickly running it through her hair before she set the clothes, neatly folded, on the toilet seat. She had a feeling they never used it, and she wasn't sure what to do with them. Quickly, she darted downstairs towards the kitchen, taking in the house as she walked. She had been too hysterical before to truly appreciate it.

"Hurry up, slow-poke." She heard Emmett say, appearing out of no where and picking her up. The house seemed to blur and within seconds she was in the kitchen, feeling slightly dizzy as he sat her on one of the chairs.

"Thank you, Em." She drawled sarcastically, holding on to the counter for support. Willing the room to stop moving around her. He had moved so fast, and quietly. She only had to blink her eyes to notice that she was in the kitchen. It was thrilling, and exhilarating. "How did you do that? It was grand."

"We're all really fast, and strong." Emmett boasted as he took a seat besides her.

"Thank you, Esme." Lucy said appreciatively as she took a plate from Esme. It was eggs, sausage, pancakes, bacon, and hash browns. It was obviously the middle of the afternoon, if not already evening, though Esme had clearly wanted to make her breakfast. She then poured a very large glass of orange juice. Lucy cringed a bit at the thought of drinking it after having brushed her teeth.

"I guess it's part of being a vampire." Emmett shrugged as he continued what he had been saying. Lucy faltered a bit as she was reaching to put a bite in to her mouth, though she ignored the rush of fear at hearing that, putting the food in and forcing herself to chew.

"We could be stronger, and faster, if we drank human blood; but we're not monsters; we prefer animals." Emmett said casually, watching out the window. Lucy tried to convince herself that that made it better, and that it wasn't insane. She had no idea what she was, though she had a feeling that as she had never had an impulse to eat blood, that she was not one of them. She knew Emmett's secret, though it brought her no closer to her own answer. "Though animals don't tas-"

"Emmett, Do you mind? I'm trying to eat here." Lucy frowned as she turned to him, realizing that he was still talking about it. "I really don't need to hear about you drinking blood; it will seriously make me ill."

"I'm sorry." He said sheepishly as Esme shot him a dark look.

"Where did Jasper go off to?" Lucy asked curiously, noticing that he was not there. She had a feeling that Carlisle was at the hospital, and the girls were still shopping, as it had only been a day.

"He went out to hunt a bit; your smell is a bit strong for him." Esme said softly. Lucy frowned, it all hit her at once. Why the voodoo queen had not been able to locate him, despite feeling that his soul had not departed; why he disappeared, and why he looked physically exactly as she had remembered. She gulped quietly, dropping her fork. She had spent nearly three days exclusively with him, keeping him company as he did his rounds, sitting with him at dinner, and letting him sleep near her as it made her feel safer while being in the open. She was going to walk with him when he returned to the city, but John had wanted to speak with her.

* * *

_The sun had already setting, but they were going to continue walking through the night, they were only an hour or so away from town. Lucy had been walking towards the end with Jasper. He was in charge of making sure no one was left behind. He had warned her to walk in the middle, that it would be safer; but she felt safer with him; she knew he was one of the better fighters in his company, she had nothing to worry about with him._

_"What are you going to do after the war?" Lucy asked quietly as they walked. The sun hadn't yet set, though it had been overcast and muggy that day; the temperature was already dropping. She had bathed in the river with other women, washing her clothes in the water. They had dried, but didn't feel very clean; she wasn't used to being left out in the wilderness. Yet while she hadn't quite enjoyed the feeling of her clothes; Jasper had been quite thankful that she had cleaned his uniform in the water. The water had turned a murky brownish red when she rinsed it, yet it suddenly looked more blue than before._

_"I'll go home and see my ma; I haven't heard from her since I left." Jasper said as he walked, glancing around as they walked. The next nearest soldier was about five feet away, speaking with a group that was suspected as his family. "Do you have any plans for yourself?"_

_"I haven't the slightest. I'll have to find a husband if I expect to be a respectable woman." She said with a frown, glancing ahead at all of the people ahead of her, somewhat sadly. "My father would want me to find a good man. It's scary. I've never felt so alone, or scared."_

_"What do you have to be scared of?" He asked her, she felt his eyes on her with curiosity._

_"My father was not a poor man. Any man in town would know that; I fear that a man will force me to wed for my money." She said honestly, watching the dirt on the ground as she walked. The bottom of her dress was nearly black with dirt. Her hair looked wild, despite having her bonnet tucked over it, it was still horrible looking. She was sweaty, and dirty, yet Jasper still chose to spend time with her._

_"If you-" Jasper began slowly, almost cautiously._

_"Lucy! Come talk to my Ma! General says that Major Whitlock has work to do." The impending figure of John Lewis appeared. Lucy frowned as she glanced to Jasper, almost pleading him to tell John to go away. She didn't want to go talk with John's family; she knew what was on John's mind._

_"Go on ahead, I've got to patrol." Jasper told her, putting on a smile. "You'll be safer with them."_

_"I'll see you when you return to town, won't I?" She asked him, frowning as she held the jacket around her, the sleeves were bunched up on her arm as they were far too long for her, and the bottom of the jacket nearly reached thighs. "I'll wash up your uniform for you, and sew up some of these holes."_

_"I would like that." He smiled warmly at her, John tapped his foot impatiently. "Go on ahead. I'll see you when we're in Galveston."_

_"Thank you for everything, Jasper. You're swell like a thoroughbred." She said with a brief smile. "Be safe, will you?"_

_"I always am, but I will try to be especially safe for you, ma'am." He said with a slight bow. She smiled broadly at him, before John grabbed her arm and pulled her away in toward the crowd of people ahead._

_"Whitlock is a country boy, you don't need to be talkin' with his kind." John said firmly as he led her away, though they weren't very far from the man, "Do you want to be a farmers wife for the rest of your life?"_

_"There are worse things in life than marryin' a hard workin' man, John. I will marry a man for love, not for money." Lucy said sharply, pulling her arm from him and folding her arms firmly._

_"C'mon, Luce. I come from a good family, your father would have approved." He said with a charming tone._

_"Is that what this is about? You think I'm gonna marry you? Or that I'd chose Jasper over you?" She asked with a scowl, her eyes narrowing as she stopped walking. They were already in the group of people. Though they passed around the two. "Are you serious?"_

_"He's not good for you, you need a refined man, like myself." He said sharply, grabbing her arm. She turned her head back, but couldn't see Jasper thanks to the family that was in the way. He pulled her through the people; she couldn't fight. A woman wasn't supposed to fight men, especially military men._

Lucy sat motionless, staring ahead at the memory. Certain memories played larger parts in her mind, though many lay forgotten after a while, waiting for her to remember at off-handed moments where something reminded her of it somehow. Blinking a few times she noticed that the others were all watching her curiously. Esme had her brows furrowed. She frowned, brushing her hair behind her ear as she glanced back down to her food; grabbing the fork and eating as though nothing had happened.

"Are you okay, Lucy?" Esme asked tentatively.

"I'm fine, I was just remembering something." Lucy said, shaking her head. Part of her thought that perhaps he wouldn't have been bitten had she been with him; or perhaps she would have been bitten if she were with him. She had probably been the last person to talk to him when he was alive.

"What was it? Is everything all right?" Esme asked her, concern in her tone.

"Everything is fine. Will I be able to visit Sam in the hospital soon?" Lucy asked curiously, feigning that that had been her memory.

"Oh, Carlisle is discharging her this afternoon. He checked her this morning and said that she has a few bruises, and sprains, but that it's nothing serious. He can hardly tell she was in an accident yesterday." Emmett told her. "What did you do to her? How did you guys get out alive?"

"I used to be a nurse. I can heal things that are not terminal or too serious." She said casually, poking around on the plate. She didn't really eat meat much, but didn't want to seem impolite, so she delicately cut a piece of sausage up, taking a couple of bites. "I think it may be part of the reason why I can't seem to die."

"Do you actually want to die?" Emmett asked with a laugh.

"No, I suppose I've grown quite used to being alive; dying would feel life gets boring; everything is the same after a while. Until I've met y'all I hadn't met anyone like myself." She said, setting her fork down, unable to eat anymore. "I mean people that were alive for a long time, I don't drink blood. I don't even like eating meat. I don't think I could ever kill anything."

"You would make a horrible vampire." Emmett rolled his eyes. She scoffed, playfully hitting his arm.

"Because I was so hoping to be a vampire. I'm already a freak as it is, put eating blood on top of that and it'd be too much." She shook her head, Emmett laughed, messing her hair up.

"Your hair is huge, do you straighten it usually?" Emmett began playing with her hair, causing her to frown. He was like a younger brother that wouldn't leave you alone; only he was twice her size.

"What would Rose think of this?" A dark voice entered the room. Glancing up the two saw Jasper besides Esme. Emmett frowned at him, while Lucy looked confused.

"I'm just messing with her, Jazz." Emmett rolled his eyes. "Humans are fun, and Edward never lets me near Bella."

"Edward is smart." Lucy grumbled under her breath, smirking slightly as she stood up, holding her plate. She glanced over to Esme. "What should I do with my dishes?"

"Nonsense, you're our guest." Esme said, Before Lucy could even blink her hands were empty.

"I don't think I will ever get used to that." Lucy shook her head, laughing. She glanced up to Jasper, who was frowning at her. "How was your meal?"

"My meal?" He looked confused at her, though then a look of realization hit him and he frowned at her, she grinned cheekily at him. "My _meal_ was fine. How was yours?"

"It was exquisite." She laughed at him. "So are we going to play some chess?"

"Are you asking me, or him?" Emmett asked her, folding his arms almost defensively.

"I don't care, but I am not going to listen to your childish quarreling. Just arm wrestle or something, and I'll play whoever wins." She said dissuasively, looking to Esme with a frown, as though to ask if they were always that grumpy with one another.

"Childish quarreling? I am older than you are, I fail to see anything childish about our behavior." Jasper responded defensively. Emmett and Esme frowned at him.

"By two years, five months, and sixteen days. That is hardly much older than me." She responded with an air of authority as she placed a hand on her hip angrily. "You know very well that there is nothing going on between Emmett and I, and I find it horribly offensive that you would even make such harsh accusations."

"Do you know how many hours, too?" Emmett snickered.

"13 hours and 22 minutes, roughly. Elizabeth wasn't certain of the time." Lucy frowned. "Though I thought it would be ridiculous to use that against him."

"You have way too much time on your hands." Emmett laughed broadly at her.

"You try spending 160 years amongst mortals that you have to leave after 15 years because it starts to look a little odd that you still look 16 when you're supposed to be 32. Though unlike you guys, I've never met anyone quite like me. I thought I was the only person in the world that was stuck in this world." She shrugged honestly, it was the truth. And they had inadvertently told her their secret, though they hadn't realized that she didn't know.

"We try to spend time around mortals, it makes the time go much more quickly; though we can't always control our thirst." Emmett told her casually, leaning against the counter.

"Well that makes me feel thoroughly comfortable sitting near you. You move faster than I can even comprehend, and you long for blood." She rolled her eyes in a sarcastic manner. "I don't know that I'd taste very good, I don't eat meat, I'm old, and I don't like sweets very much. I've tasted my blood, I'd have to say that other people have much better tasting blood."

"You've tasted other peoples blood?" Emmett asked, his eyes wide with laughter and amusement, as well as a mix of curiosity.

"Of course, doesn't everyone?" She furrowed her brows. It wasn't as though she had gone around sucking blood out of helpless victims, though she had tasted blood before.

"You smell sweet, I think you'd have a sweet, but crisp taste." Emmett said. She realized that he was now sniffing at her neck closely. She frowned, her hands reaching up to push him away gently as she heard a low growl come out of Jasper. She glanced to him with slightly widened eyes. For some reason, having a vampire sniff at her neck and tell her she would taste sweet didn't scare her as bad as one standing across the kitchen growling.

"Oh dear Lord, not this again." Lucy groaned, jumping off of her stool. "Would you like to play chess with me, Esme?"

"I would love to, Lucy." Esme said as she frowned to her children before leading Lucy in to the living-room. Along the walls were 8 chess tables set up along a large window. "Emmett and Jasper enjoy playing very odd games that will last weeks. I prefer to play regular chess, how would you like to play?"

"I am fine playing regular chess." Lucy smiled politely, sitting down at one of the tables with Esme.

The nice thing about playing chess with vampires, is that they play very quickly. The unfortunate part about playing with vampires, is that the games end very quickly. By the time Emmett and Jasper arrived in to the living-room twenty-five minutes later, they had played three games, all of which Lucy had won by a landslide.

"I'm afraid you would be better suited with Jasper, or Emmett at this game. I am no competition for you." Esme laughed warmly, her laugh was like soft bells jingling on a clothesline in a field, during a warm summer day; pleasant, and warming. "I will leave you with the boys, as I have blueprints to work on. Thank you for the game, and it is wonderful having you in our house. You are always welcome here."

"Thank you, Esme." Lucy smiled to the woman as she disappeared in a blur up the stairs. Lucy shook her head with a frown as she glanced back to the two men who were watching her. She felt somewhat uncomfortable under their gaze. "Y'all ever play yalta?"

"We've got a board for it, though no one will ever play with us other than Edward, and no one plays with him." Jasper answered before Emmett had a chance. "Edward can read minds, so it gives him an unfair advantage for games."

"And Alice, who can predict the future, so she knows what you're going to do before you do it. Though she can't ever see your future, so it might not be an unfair game between the two of you." Emmett said curiously. He pulled open a drawer under one of the large chess tables, pulling out a large collapsed board. He then grabbed a few different colors of chess pieces off of the tables and set the board on a table before moving it away effortlessly from the wall, though Lucy knew that they were immensely heavy. Before she could blink her chair was already besides a side of the table, while Jasper and Emmett were taking their seats. Her pieces were hot pink.

"Why do I have to be pink?" She frowned at the pieces.

"Emmett can be pink, he thought you'd want to be girlier."Jasper said with a smirk as he looked over to Emmett. Jasper had rearranged the pieces before she could blink, looking like a blur of colors. She was now black.

"Thank you, Jazz." Lucy grinned brightly.

Emmett went first, then Jasper, and finally Lucy. She had only played three person chess a couple of times, though it was quite enthralling. Particularly because it went much more slowly with the two men, each move was more thought out with them. She allowed her mind to wander as she moved her pieces instinctively, not paying much attention to the board. She wondered _why_ she was living so long; they had been bitten, and were living so long because they were essentially 'un-dead.' She was simply living forever, with no apparent reason. Thinking back, she couldn't even remember a time when she first realized it was happening. She had ceased having her feminine functions at some point before she turned twenty, though her memories about the time between 18 and 20 were fuzzy, after Elizabeth died everything seemed to be a bit of a blur, as though she had gone through the year and a half to two years in a drunken stupor, though she hadn't drunken anything.

She and Marietta spent time in New Orleans, and she had left Marietta with Madam Leveau; Marietta had been her 'slave' as a child, though it was much more than that. Lucy had always insisted on getting her gifts for Christmas, or birthdays. She had even made her an Easter basket one year. Her parents had never paid her, though she would sneak her allowance to the woman as she had been her best friend. In New Orleans Marietta had made friends with a lot of the other free people of her kind, and Lucy knew that she wanted to stay, though she would never tell her. Lucy left her with enough money to purchase a small flat and live well until she could find her own employment. After healing Madam Leveau's daughter she had praised her on her kindness, and told her that she would always be welcome in her home. It had been a strange thing to hear from a voodoo queen, though she hadn't questioned it at the time. She had met many interesting people on her journeys, and a voodoo queen only seemed a natural acquaintance to make.

She nearly dropped the chess piece as she thought about the only time in her life that seemed hazy; it lined up perfectly with the time that she had stayed in New Orleans, and the time that she had realized that she was not aging. Her eyes widened as she set the piece down on a place. She glanced down to the board; Jasper was winning; Emmett was losing horribly to both of them. She wondered how she had played so well on autopilot.

"I have to go." She said with a frown, standing up.

"Where are you going?" Emmett frowned. "We have to finish our game."

"No, I'm leaving. Could I get a ride back to my place?" She frowned, walking up the stairs, leaving the two men to watch her before Emmett was standing in front of her on the stairs. She could sense that Jasper was at the bottom of the stairs

"Where are you going?" Emmet asked her, folding his arms.

"I need to go to New Orleans. Now." She said firmly, ducking under his arm to go up to the guest bathroom to get her shoes and purse where she had left them.

"_New Orleans?_" She heard Jasper ask, she could hear disbelief in his voice. Glancing out to the door of the bathroom she saw Emmett and Jasper standing there, and then she saw Esme poking up behind them.

"You're leaving? Carlisle was hoping to speak with you." Her tone almost sounded hurt, as though she hadn't wanted the girl to leave.

"I've got to find someone." Lucy said, grabbing her dirty, blood-stained items. "I promise that I will come back to visit you."

"Who are you looking for?" Emmett asked, a protective frown on his features. She couldn't help but feel warm inside at the sight of it. She hadn't had anyone act protective, or worried, over her in a long time. It was a welcome change.

"A woman from my past. It may kill me, though I'm hoping _not_." She said lightly, walking towards the three. "Could I get a ride to my house?"

"What about your car?" Emmett asked her, looking down at her much as a father, or older brother, would.

"I've got a few cars, Emmett. I'll be fine." Lucy rolled her eyes.

"Jasper can give you a ride home." Emmett said, patting his slightly shorter brother on the back. The three exchanged slightly wary glances, before glancing back to her.

"Have a safe trip, do call if anything goes wrong." Esme said, wrapping her arms around the girl. Lucy smiled as she returned the hug. Esme was hard, though there was something that emanated from her that almost made her feel warm and soft.

"Okay, _mom._" Lucy grinned, Esme smiled as she pulled away, running her hand over the girls hair much as a mother would do.

"Be safe, squirt." Emmett ruffled her already messy hair. There was no point in taming it now.

"Thanks, _kiddo_." She grinned, patting his cheek lightly. He laughed in response, wrapping her in a large hug. It was strange to act so affectionately towards people; she had been raised in a time when affection was not shared between people other than family, and she had rarely been affectionate with anyone in her entire life... yet now she was, with vampires that were fighting the urge to kill her. She was anxious to go, yet there was also a sinking feeling that if she found out what her 'condition' was she may die. It seemed a silly thought, yet there was something that made the harsh, sinking sensation almost seem true.

* * *

**A/N: **_Hey guys, thank you so much to Ms. Wish, Giggaloop, GoddessVampAngel, as well as everyone who has put it on to story alert/favorites. :D The next chapter will have more Jasper/Lucy time, as well as finding out why Lucy doesn't age._

_I've got a question for you guys, however... Should Lucy eventually die, become a vampire, or be a different kind of immortal being? With the way the next chapter is, it could go just about any way, but I haven't decided what kind of ending I want yet._

_Thank you for reading this, please let me know what you think!_


	7. Chapter 7: Bring Me Up

**Chapter Seven:**_**Bring Me Up**_

* * *

_And I looked up at the sky and took another ride.  
__I was quiet, and I was tired, and I wanted you to bring me up.  
__I wanted you to make it stop._

_Lisa Loeb - Bring Me Up_

* * *

By the time Jasper's sedan pulled out of the garage it had started raining. His grip on the steering wheel got tighter with every passing moment. Lucy watched him tensely, the sensation that if he were to grip it any more tightly it would snap beneath his grasp. His eyes were nearly pitch black as he rolled his window down all of the way, allowing the cold, damp air to rush throughout the car. She felt cold, and as the rain picked up she had to wonder how it somehow made its way to _her. _He seemed unmoved by the rain, though he didn't seem to notice much of anything as he stared angrily at the road ahead. Yet despite his apparent disgust at being in a car with her he was driving _below_ the speed limit.

"All right, Grandpa; I get that you're a safe driver, but I'd really like to get home within this century." Lucy said shortly, unable to handle the silence, the slowness, or the tense air between the two. Clearly, he was not the charismatic major she had met in her youth, and his mood swings were absolutely deplorable. Her stomach dropped slightly as he instantly sped up, going to nearly 130 miles an hour on the long, empty stretch of road that looked as though it were rarely inhabited by anyone other than their family.

"Happy?" Jasper said, his tone was crisp, practically growled.

"Very." She said icily, folding her arms as she glanced at the trees that they passed in a blur. She frowned as she felt the car slow down, though at least it was still going over 80 miles an hour.

"Pardon me for worrying over your safety, I wouldn't be harmed if we were to be in an accident." He said, had it been in a warm tone, it would have sounded caring; though being spat out darkly made it sound patronizing. "You're practically mortal."

"Yes, clearly after 160 years I am dying, and the slightest bump on the head will cause me to wither away." She drawled with a slight sneer. She liked the old Jasper much more; this Jasper was nothing short of asinine. This must have been Emmett's idea of a practical joke; sending her away in a car with an angry vampire that couldn't stand being near her. She angrily glared out the window, annoyed at being stuck with him.

"If you must know," He began slowly, through gritted teeth. She didn't turn from the window, though she could see his reflection in her window. His jaw was firmly set and he looked very intimidating. "I am trying very hard to resist the urge to attack you."

"Well that's a comfort." She rolled her eyes sarcastically; the car ride suddenly felt even more uncomfortable. They weren't even near the city limits yet, though glancing at the clock, she realized that what had felt like an hour, had actually only been five minutes.

"It would be better if you rolled your window down." He told her stiffly.

"Rolled my window down?" She frowned, raising an eye incredulously. "I'll get wet, and cold."

"Wear this." He said darkly, reaching behind his seat with one hand. Sitting on the back seat was a white jacket, it looked like a very warm winter jacket; she'd seen him wear it to school frequently.

"Fine, but this time I'm giving it back to you before I leave. I will not be responsible for watching your jacket for another 140 years just in case I mysteriously run in to you again." She grumbled, taking off her seat-belt to put the jacket on. It had a soft, slightly musky scent to it; it reminded her of a forest. She pulled it on quickly, and then put her seat-belt on and rolled the window down. She stuffed her hair in to the jacket and pulled the hood over her hair to stop it from getting even more unruly in the wind. She then groaned as she noticed that he had practically slowed to his original speed as she had taken her seat-belt on.

"Do you really still have my old jacket?" He asked her curiously, his tone seemed calmer by the moment; perhaps opening the window had helped, and perhaps he _didn't_ despise her as much as she had suspected.

"I have a lot of your old things, actually." She said, feeling sheepish for telling him it. She zipped the jacket up under her seat-belt as the wind began to make her shiver slightly. She had always hated the cold. She never got sick from it, though it was more a discomfort than anything. She hadn't lived in Texas for nearly 70 years, yet her heart was there.

"Why do you have a lot of my old things? I only gave you my jacket." He frowned, glancing over to her in slight confusion.

"Your jacket had your grandfathers pocket watch in it. I found it in the pocket before I washed it in the river, but I had thought you would be getting it back soon after." She shrugged. "Also, your mother gave me quite a bit of your belongings before she died; she refused to believe that you had died. She was certain that it was only a matter of time before fate led us to meet once again." She laughed in a sardonic manor. "I don't think she ever could have hoped that '_a matter of time_' would be 140 years, though she was right. Oddly enough."

"She told you that she thought we were fated to find one another?" He asked her, his tone nearly laughing at it.

"You know how mothers are. They see a compassionate and nurturing girl who respects elders and comes from a well educated background and start to see wedding bells." She said rolling her eyes with a laugh. "She said some very crazy things towards the end of her life, you're lucky you didn't have to witness it. It tore my heart up watching it."

"You actually stayed with her when she died? Even though she had an illness that you could have caught?" He asked; confused, wonder, and an odd sense of respect in his tone.

"Of course I did, I couldn't exactly allow her to die alone. I suppose I saw a bit of myself in her, and I know that if I had lost my son, and had no one left, that I would hope someone would care enough for me to do that much. She believed so fervently that you were alive... that you hadn't been killed. So I helped her look." She shrugged, but then grinned cheekily. "You should have seen John Lewis' face when I told him that I was leaving the town with Major Whitlock's mother to search for him. He _loathed_ you. I was wasting my fortune to go searching for some poor farmer boy that didn't even care for me."

"He ended up becoming a general with the 16th Mississippi Infantry; married a pretty young girl from Mississippi, and spent the remainder of his life as an editor for a newspaper there." She said, suddenly feeling silly in that she was gossiping about something 140 years prior. "Not that any of that pertains to the subject matter."

"Why did you help my mother? Were you truly that besotted with me?" He asked her, his brows furrowed slightly as he drove. His speed was now at a regular speed; she supposed that since she had forever she should have been patient, though she wanted more than anything to get done with her trip.

"I help people." She frowned, folding her arms tightly against her chest, tucking her hands in to her armpits as they were growing slightly numb from the cold. "It's nearly impossible to explain it without sounding like a bumbling fool. I cannot help but love everyone unconditionally, to want the best for them, and to try to heal their pain. It's as though I can _feel_ their pain, I can see the struggle, the hurt that courses through their every moment when they find that their son; their husband, their best friend, has died; that they've disappeared, and that no one even cares. Left with nothing but a letter saying '_We regret to inform you that so-and-so has died in the line of battle. Our most grave of condolences, general whoever.' _They don't even send home a metal, a badge, anything reminiscent of the person themselves, everything was given back out to soldiers that needed uniform parts." Her words were harsh towards the end, bitter and angry. They were her worst memories; seeing all of the women, the families torn apart. "Would you have turned her away? Perhaps said 'I am sorry, Ma'am. I didn't know your son that well, perhaps you should ask the general, you just rode for two days to reach me, yet I don't care.' Could you have been that cold hearted?"

"That was what first drew me to you." He said after a few moments had past. She looked from the window to him, slightly confused. He laughed, shaking his head. The tenseness had all but disappeared between the two, and she felt much more comfortable in his presence, though she couldn't get the tense image of him spitting words out like venom at her out of her mind.

"You were easily the most beautiful woman from the entire town, though you looked much like the type of woman that _knew_ it, and felt entitled to it... yet then I saw you walking around to nearly every person there; giving your clothes to people that you may or may not have known. You were even willing to tear your exquisite dress to make bandages for those that had injuries. You gave your food to children, and you were one of the few women that didn't seem bothered by the fact that you were in the middle of the wilderness, filthy, and in the middle of the war." He told her with a laugh. She felt a blush come to her cheeks and tried to suppress it with a laugh.

"You must have been watching me quite a bit." She laughed, trying to conceal her awkwardness at the compliment; she had assumed he had all but forgotten about her, though it seemed he truly _hadn't_ forgotten. "Though thank you, that is quite the compliment."

"You're welcome." He laughed, the air in the car was suddenly awkward and tense, though not in the same sense as it had been before. She sighed as the sign welcoming them to Forks came in to view, though a small part of her now wanted the ride to last longer; she wanted to keep talking to him while he was in decent spirits.

"The first thing I noticed about you, was that you were easily the most polite, and charming man I had ever met." she said, smiling broadly. "And you smelled horribly. I realized that I could never be a soldier thanks to you."

"Thank you." He rolled his eyes darkly. "The next time I go out to war in the south I will make sure to wash my clothes every day so that I can smell decently for you."

"So long as we're on the same page." She laughed quietly. "I was dreadfully disappointed when you disappeared; I thought that John had had you beefed. The only time I've ever hit a man was when he spoke ill of you and your mother in the town square before leaving. I punched him square in the jaw; told him that speaking ill of the dead, and the widows of the war was intolerable. He cried like a girl and never came back to see me."

"You _punched_ a soldier?" His tone shocked, not quite appalled, though clearly taken back. In those times it had been quite unheard of for a woman to hit anyone, let alone a soldier.

"He got worse from his company. Your men were very loyal to you, and felt it disgraceful to speak so ill of you, and your family." She said with a shrug. "It may have helped that your general romanticized my having your jacket, so he thought that we were more than simply friends. He found it absolutely touching that I would fight against an old friend on your behalf, '_such a loyal and beautiful young woman, if only all women were as caring.'_ When John tried to tell him that there really wasn't anything there, he told him to stop being such a jealous pie eater."

"He thought that we were _together_?" Jasper asked, somewhat wide eyed, clearly feeling a slight bit awkward at the thought.

"In those days, women weren't allowed to speak with men without there being something." She shrugged, glancing out the window with a frown, reaching a hand to wipe water from her face that had splashed in from the rain. Her cheeks were pink from the cold. She was thankful for living on the outskirts of town when she saw her road coming in to view. She was happy when 30 seconds later she was sitting outside of her house.

"Thank you for the ride, Jazz." She smiled, opening the door as she took her seat-belt off. She stood up and began to take off the jacket.

"Why don't you keep it, and give it to me when you get back." He offered, with a slightly forced looking smile.

"Are you sure? I don't need to keep it, and the last time you let me borrow a jacket I had it for quite some time." She told him, holding her belongings with one hand as she stood frozen outside of his car, awaiting his response.

"It's fine. Have a safe trip." He told her, reaching over to shut the door.

"Thank you, I'll see you later." She smiled broadly before disappearing quickly in to her house. His car pulled away slowly as he saw her enter the house.

* * *

Jasper frowned as he drove away from her house; her smell had permeated in to the car. It burned his throat, and made his head feel dizzy with thirst. She was exactly as he had remembered. Granted, she was a bit more short tempered than before, though that was to be expected. He must have been entirely different to her. She had held herself so casually at school; with the exception of an occasional slip in to old-time slang, she had managed to uphold an entirely 'normal' appearance. Yet once she was in the house she seemed to act exactly as he would have expected her to have acted; upbeat, friendly, and belonging. She had a natural grace, that while obviously not vampiric, had a certain charm to it. All of her movements seemed orchestrated, as though life were one large play that she had memorized the script for. Even when everything was going wrong, when she was confused, or angry, she smiled, and asked how everyone else was doing.

* * *

_The sun had set on the beaches as they set up camp for the third night with the civilians of Texas. He stood behind a log that had been set out for a bench. Many of the soldiers who had no family from this sect were sitting around, playing songs, and trying to relish in the almost peaceful setting. He had spent most of the day with the young dark haired girl he had met the previous night. She had been very quiet the previous night, though it seemed that after resting, she had an uplifted and cheerful disposition. He was surprised at how well learned she had been, talking about everything from the political situation in France, to atmospheric changes making it hotter in Texas than in Virginia. She spoke two languages in addition to English; Spanish, and French. She thought that slavery was wrong, and that women deserved more rights than they were given. She wanted to get married, yet she also wished that women were allowed to become nurses._

_"Our Yellow Rose!" One of the men cried out, Merry Grant. A low ranking soldier who had joined earlier that year. He was from a farm outside of Galveston. John Lewis sat besides him, jumping up to dart out. Walking by were two women, as his eyes fell on the familiar form of Lucy he frowned. Her dress was a pale yellow, her bonnet matching. She glanced over, surprised. Her friend giggled, golden blonde hair dancing as she leaned in to whisper something to Lucy._

_"Come on, Luce. Bring Isabelle over; sing and dance with us." John began, grabbing the small girls arm._

_"No, John. I can't." Lucy laughed quietly, shaking her head as she looked down to the ground, her cheeks blushing a pale shade of pink._

_"I was just telling them what a beautiful voice you've got." John said, trying to coerce her in to joining the group. At that moment the two men playing and singing began to sing 'yellow rose of Texas' as John pulled her in to the center of the large fire circle. Her friend followed a few steps behind._

_"All right, hard case; show me your grit." She grinned cheekily, her eyes dancing in the light. With a slight bow as one of the men began singing, the two began a distinctly country dance; it only took a moment before many of the men were up, singing loudly as they danced with the two girls around the fire. Jasper watched as she danced with a man that she didn't seem to know, she laughed loudly, the sound carrying over their singing. Her cheeks were bright pink as she laughed, clearly enjoying herself as another man cut in. He couldn't help but smile as not seconds after the other man cut in, another tried to cut in for her._

_She held her skirt up as the man did a quick banjo solo, dancing quickly with the other girl, laughing at the men around them; he couldn't help but be impressed that for being a 'city girl' she seemed very much like a country girl. She glanced up to him as the song was ending, smiling broadly._

_"She's the sweetest rose of color_

_This soldier ever knew_

_Her eyes are bright as diamonds_

_They sparkle like the dew._

_You may talk about your dearest May_

_And sing of Rosa Lee_

_But the Yellow Rose of Texas_

_Beats the belles of Tennessee." The men sang out loudly, watching the girls brightly. It was nice to see his men enjoying themselves, a welcome break from fighting._

_"Your turn, Luce! Sing a song." Merry called out, grabbing the banjo. She leaned in to her blonde friend, whispering quietly. The blonde nodded her head, turning to whisper something in return. Her blonde friend then approached Merry and whispered something to him. Lucy approached her friend, glancing out to the men almost shyly before holding her hands to her stomach quietly, gently pushing his sleeves up so that they didn't fall over her hands. He recognized the tune immediately as she glanced to her friend, they took a deep breath in._

_"Dearest love, do you remember_

_When we last did meet,_

_How you told me that you loved me_

_Kneeling at my feet._

_Oh how proud you stood before me_

_In your suit of grey._

_There you vowed to me_

_Nevermore to stray." She sang a high soprano, while her blonde friend sang a lower melody to it. It was the type of thing he would have expected to be sung in a parlor, when her fiance would have left to go to war, not at a campfire on a beach, waiting to return to their town for fear of union soldiers._

_"Weeping sad and lonely_

_Hopes and fears, how vain. (Yet praying)_

_When this cruel war is over,_

_Pray that we meet again._

_When the summer breeze is sighing_

_Mournfully along,_

_Or when autumn leaves are falling,_

_Sadly breathes a song._

_Oft in dreams I see thee lying_

_On the battle plain._

_Lonely, wounded, even dying,_

_Calling but in vain. _

_Weeping sad and lonely_

_Hopes and fears, how vain. (Yet praying)_

_When this cruel war is over,_

_Pray that we meet again._

_If amid the din of battle_

_Nobly you should fall,_

_Far away from those that love you,_

_None to hear you call,_

_Who would whisper words of comfort?_

_Who would ease your pain?_

_Ah, the many cruel fancies_

_Ever in my brain. _

_Weeping sad and lonely_

_Hopes and fears, how vain. (Yet praying)_

_When this cruel war is over,_

_Pray that we meet again._

_But our country called you, darling,_

_Angels cheer your way._

_While our nation's sons are fighting,_

_We can only pray._

_when you strike for god and freedom,_

_let all nations see,_

_how you love our southern banner,_

_emblem of the free."_

_They seemed to keep their eyes focused on the proud confederate flag perched outside of their tent, not glancing to the soldiers. Once the song had finished, they glanced around, smiling proudly to the soldiers, who cheered loudly, particularly at the mention of 'our southern banner.' A few of the other soldiers who had been wandering the camp had come with their friends and family to watch the two girls singing, clapping politely. Grabbing her friends hand she did a slight courtsee to the men, turning to bow politely to them as well. Her blonde friend then approached Merry; sitting shyly besides him on the log. The girl blushed as she spoke with the soldier. Lucy grinned before walking through the crowd of people, nodding politely, and thanking them for their praise._

_"You sing and dance very well. You're almost a country girl." Jasper said when she stopped besides him. He couldn't help but smile when she stood besides him behind the others._

_"Thank you, kind sir." She said with a bow, splaying out her skirt broadly. She placed her hand out before her as they began the next song. "May I have this dance?"_

_"That is what the man is supposed to say." He laughed at her as she stood there, standing still as she waited._

_"You were not asking me, so I decided to ask you myself." She grinned brightly, her eyes shining in the moonlight with mirth. He found it impossible to say no as he reached his hand out tentatively. He had never been the type of man to dance with women. He was not opposed to singing and dancing; it raised moral, though he did not take part of it. She laughed as they spun around quickly, she seemed to be leading more than he, spinning under his arm with a laugh. He could hear her singing along with the rest of the soldiers._

_"Come on, Soldier! Don't be a dead beat; you know this song!" She laughed to him, looking up to him brightly. He knew all of the songs, they were one of the few things that the soldiers could carry with them. He knew that when they grew weary, the men would remember this night... he would remember this night. She had lost as much as anyone else in this war, yet she stood there singing proudly, supporting the troops, supporting him. He laughed at her enthusiasm as she pulled him closer to the group._

_"Sing, Major! Sing out!" One of his soldiers called out brightly as he danced with an unnamed girl that he hadn't met. He couldn't help but sing along quietly as they danced; these were nights that reminded him what they fought for. She even seemed to somehow know the songs that were hardly appropriate for a woman to know, let alone sing along to._

_"Merry! This is-" Jasper began darkly to the younger soldier as he began a song that he knew was over the line._

_"Let them play, Jasper." Lucy said, her hand touching his shoulder briefly as they sat down on a log on the outskirts of the group. "They need to remember what they're fighting for."_

_He glanced down at her as she folded her arms over her knees, watching the group, her eyes almost looked sad for a moment before she put on a smile and glanced up to him, her pales eyes glistening with joy._

_"And we need to remember why our men aren't at home. It's not easy for us, either. To sit at home awaiting word, being forced to pretend that our lives are continuing normally; never knowing if they are alive or dead." She said, her eyes deep and grave. "Let my women find joy for one night with your men, and hope that somewhere under these stars, their men are out there alive."_

_"What of you? You have lost more than most any other woman here, your men will not return, should you have joy so that they may have hope?" He asked her as her eyes turned to watch the people singing a patriotic song for the confederacy about President Jefferson. She sighed, looking in thought for a moment._

_"I have lost everyone I hold dear to this war. If I can show them that I may find joy, then they shall follow in my lead. Moral is getting low, if I do not try to uplift them, no one will." She said, sitting up slightly straighter as she wrapped her arms around herself, his jacket was long on her, covering her hands as she held it close to her body. Jasper glanced up from her and saw the brooding figure of John Lewis watching them darkly, he couldn't help the slightly triumphant feeling that coursed through his veins. "I need to give my women hope that the way will not last forever, and that despite our loses, it will not have been in vain."_

_"And who will give you hope?" He asked her curiously._

_"You give me hope." She said with a small sheepish smile as she glanced over at him briefly, she then glanced back at the flames that flickered high in to the air in the center of the group of soldiers and civilians. "You remind me that there are decent people out there, and that the yanks aren't taking all of our men."_

_"I haven't seen my men this spirited in a long time. You give my men, and me, more hope than you could ever know." He told her seriously. Watching her as she glanced up at him curiously, she looked slightly surprised to hear this. She would have given up anything so long as women that she hardly knew were hopeful; she reminded them what they fought for, more than any flag, or speech from the president; the proud eyes of a woman reminded the soldiers why they were fighting bloody battles, wearing worn uniforms, suffering conditions of great poverty. "Thank you for that."_

_"You're welcome." She said quietly, watching the others. She yawned slightly; it was late. The moon was high in the sky, yet the soldiers continued playing, and dancing with the other young women. There was almost an underlying desperation beneath the joyous, prideful behaviors between them. She had been right; the women needed to see soldiers in good spirits, nearly as much as the soldiers needed to see supportive women. In a matter of days they would once again be separated; they would move on to a new location for battle, while the women would return to sitting at home, upholding their homely duties, waiting eagerly for word of their men. They knew that these were not their women, and that these men were not their beloved soldiers; yet for these few, brief moments, they could pretend that all was well._

_"You should go to sleep. We will be leaving early in the morning." He told her as she shook her head. She didn't have to say anything, her eyes never left the small group. He was certain that her thoughts mirrored his; if they left this moment, it may never return; certainly people that laughed and cheered now would be dead in a months time. If there was one thing the war taught them, it was to take advantage of every moment of happiness. He hadn't realized how close they had been sitting until he felt her small hands grasp around his arm, her head resting on his shoulder silently. He nearly jumped in shock at the closeness, having never been in such a compromising position. She was warm, and despite having been in the hot sun, walking for nearly three whole days, she had a slight smell of fruit, and flowers that he could pick up over the stench from his jacket that she wore proudly, as though it were a well tailored tail coat as opposed to a worn uniform that had seen more battles than it had baths._

_"Do you think the war will be over soon?" Her voice was quiet; filled with silent hope and fear. He glanced down to her. She held his arm tightly, her head bowed slightly, her long eyelashes cast shadows on her cheek as they shut gently. She was tired but didn't want to sleep._

_"I don't know." He said quietly, wishing that he could tell her yes, say that it would be over soon, that they would win, and there would be no more losses. "The yanks outnumber us, and are better equipped for battle. We're giving them a good fight."_

_"I want this war to be over." She sighed, her tone was so soft that he nearly hadn't heard it over the noises. She opened her eyes, watching everyone silently, the corners of her lips were turned down slightly. Her eyes were sad._

_"So do I." He sighed in response, glancing up at the moon before leaning his head over hers. For a moment he was able to close his eyes, listen to the festivities, and feel almost as though they weren't in the middle of a harsh war where either of them could have died at any moment._

* * *

Glancing up, Jasper realized that he had returned to the house without paying attention to the road. Stepping out he sighed; he couldn't help but wonder what would have happened had he never been bitten. It had been easy as a vampire to distance himself from the emotions he had felt in his human life, and even easier to have forgotten what had happened... yet from his memories it had been easy to see that had he lived, he probably would have married that girl. It was an almost cheerful thought, that perhaps they had not run in to one another on coincidence... yet the dark cloud of reason hovered above any uplifting thought at the realization that 140 years had passed, and he was an entirely different person from the man she had known. He had done things that would undoubtedly disgust her, and instill fear in to her. She was a warm hearted, loving person. She healed people, and gave life to them when modern medicine couldn't save them; he took life. He was a monster, and she was practically a saint; he couldn't even be in a car with her without wanting to kill her. Even Emmett, another vampire, could be near her; could joke with her, could touch her. They were able to joke like siblings, like _normal_ people; it was easy to forget their differences when watching them interact. Emmett was 70 years younger than him, yet he was able to handle being around her as though it were nothing. He felt more ashamed of his past now, than ever before.

* * *

**A/N**: _So this chapter wasn't supposed to be mostly on Jasper, but it just sort of happened. I also lied, I had written part of her trip to New Orleans, where she finds out about what she 'is', but it made the chapter longer than I really wanted it to be, and after adding in the flashback from Jasper, it seemed to fit better as a different chapter. This chapter as a whole wasn't what I had intended it to be, it's a little off, but I wanted to get more from Jasper's side. :x The songs I put in the flashback were 'The Yellow Rose of Texas', and 'When This Cruel War is Over', both were popular songs during the civil war._

_Let me know what you think. Thanks! :D_


	8. Chapter 8: One Girl Army

**Chapter Eight:**_** One Girl Army**_

* * *

_'She is strong but never silent,  
__Sure of where her strength comes from.  
__One day, one girl army will overcome.'_

_Five Iron Frenzy - One Girl Army_

* * *

Entering the house, Jasper glanced around. An odd sense that no one else was home overwhelmed him. Before he had shut the door to the garage the phone began to ring. Shutting the door quietly he ran to the phone, answering it a split second later. He had went out hunting after dropping Lucy at her house, and had spent nearly six hours in the wilderness.

"Hello?" Jasper answered curiously.

"Jasper? You're still there?" It was Alice. He frowned, not quite wanting to hear her tone after all that had happened. Her vision had come months in advance, yet it still hadn't helped the sting when it had happened.

"Yes, I am still here. Should I be gone?" Jasper was slightly confused at hearing her speak. He had made no plans to go anywhere.

"I had a very strange vision about you." Alice said in a hurried tone. "It was like no vision I have ever had."

"What happened?" Jasper asked, intrigued to know what she had seen; she sounded almost worried.

"You were human; you never became a vampire, and you were married to Lucy. It was almost as though I was seeing the past, as it would have been. What is going on, Jasper?" Alice asked, demanding information of him. He pursed his lips as his brows puckered in thought. Alice's premonitions were generally made when someone had made up their mind, though there was no way for her to see the past, and there was most definitely no way for him to go back in time and avoid being bitten. It was something that nearly all of them had dreamt of.

"I have no idea, Alice. Though that is impossible." Jasper said darkly; he was interested to know _how_ she had gotten a vision like that. She seemed very upset over it.

"I know; I just had to make sure you weren't gone. I should go. Be safe, Jazz." Alice said, her bright soprano tone returning before she hung up the phone. The past few months had been nothing short of uncomfortable and awkward between he and Alice, and hearing her nearly concerned tone did little to settle his foul mood towards her.

* * *

New Orleans. The city of Jazz, of beautiful historic architecture; often referred to as one of the most unique cities in all of the United States. Yet, as the hooded figure of Lucy stepped out from her cab towards the graveyard, it seemed more befitting to call it the rainiest, most muggy city in all of the United States. It wasn't necessarily a storm, per se. Dark grey clouds hung ominously in the sky, though an optimistic peak of bright sunlight would occasionally peek through in a place, sending a bushel of rainbows down on to the beautiful city. Her cabby refused to go within a block of the graveyard, claiming that it was cursed, though apart from that little fact, her trip had been quite amiable.

A soft squish beneath her sneakers let her know that she had left the sidewalk outside, and was now officially within the large home of thousands of souls. One of the most heavily occupied over ground cemeteries in all of the country. The water levels were so high in the city that had they not buried bodies above ground, they would have washed up anyway. A slight shudder went through her body at the prospect of watching a decaying body float past her in drain water. It wasn't that she was afraid of cemeteries, rather they creeped her out. They made her feel uneasy. She had spent a year or so in New Orleans with Marietta and Madam Leveau (along with all of her daughters), and while it was an enjoyable experience, it had been quite eye-opening, and frightful. She saw things that she was certain no other person would have willingly watched; things that made the worst of nightmares look docile, that made the idea of vampires entirely believable, and nearly preferable. Things that she wouldn't even allow herself to think of.

Her feet led the way; she had never been to St. Louis Cemetery number 1, yet it seemed almost as though she knew where she was going. The air was heavy, though she had a feeling it was not due to the muggy weather the city was experiencing. Within two minutes of wandering, the rain had all but died off, leaving large puddles on the ground. The bottom of her jeans were wet with dirt and gravel seemed to have stuck to them, turning them a nice dark brownish blue. With a frown she glanced up, finding that she stood directly in front of the crypt which she had sought out. Large, and white with a great deal of small trinkets placed around it, as well as large 'X's written all over it. She grimaced before pulling a small object from her bag.

"Madam Leveau, I seek answers. You are the only one that can answer me." Lucy knelt down, holding the small black doll she had brought with her. It wore a black dress, and had bright yellow turban. Around it's waist was a bright red ribbon. Lifting it to her lips she kissed the doll before she set it on the ground and propped it against the side of the mausoleum. She pulled a piece of red chalk from her pocket and wrote a modest sized X above the doll before tucking the chalk in to the ribbon on the doll.

"You really think she'll answer?" Lucy heard a man's voice scoffing. Glancing up as she stood she saw a tall, slender black man dressed in a sharp suit. He wore thin wire framed glasses atop his large nose.

"I know she will." Lucy said with a polite smile, glancing back to the mausoleum.

"That's what they all say, Young Miss. You don't want to get caught up in this Louisiana voodoo." He warned her, his tone was warm, and soft.

"I know her better than you would think, Sir. Though I do appreciate your concern." Lucy smiled back, nodding her head to him as he made his exit down another row of crypts. Folding her arms she turned back to the large white block in front of her. She would wait patiently.

"What do you seek, my child?" She heard a warm voice ask. It was as warm as honey on a hot summer day; like a blanket you would wrap around yourself on the coldest winter night. Lucy turned to her left to see the faint figure of a familiar black woman. She was taller than Lucy had remembered, though a large part of that was the turban on her head. For a brief moment she wondered if she should fear the transparent woman, though a surge of courage went through her when she reminded herself that this was what she had left abruptly for, this was what she had traveled hours to obtain.

"Why do I live so long? How do I heal others? Why has this gift been bestowed on me?" Lucy asked, her tone pleading as she approached the misty figure. The woman smiled with a slight laugh.

"You do not know?" The woman laughed, despite the airy quality that made it almost as though it were simply the wind whispering in her ear it was loud and warm.

"No." Lucy frowned, confused at the thought that she should have known. The mist turned and was walking away, so eagerly she followed.

"When you came to me, what did you come for?" The woman asked her softly.

"I came to search for Mrs. Whitlock's son, and to find Marietta's family." Lucy said clearly, remembering why they had went to New Orleans; She had not thought Jasper would be in New Orleans, though Marietta had been bought by her parents in New Orleans. As it had turned out, Marietta had been the younger sister to Madam Leveau.

"What of yourself? Did you seek anything?" The woman continued.

"Myself? No, not particularly." She responded curiously, perplexed as to how it all tied together. "I lost everyone in the war; I had no one to seek out, so I wanted to help them find those that mattered most to them."

"My child, you heal others, because you love." The woman laughed quietly, she spoke as though it had been obvious.

"I don't understand, nearly everyone loves." Lucy furrowed her brows together as the sun poked out of the clouds. The misty figure nearly disappeared in the light, though she could still see a faint outline.

"Not as you do; in all of my years, I had never seen a child so loving, and compassionate. You love others above yourself; strangers and thieves, women and men, animals and monsters. It is that selfless love that makes you a healer." The woman explained. While Lucy hadn't disagreed, it made little sense in her mind. She had never heard of someone being able to heal simply because they _loved_ another. The woman seemed to sense her confusion and laughed once more.

"You are not normal, Lucy Merriweather. You never have been, nor will you ever be. You were born with a purpose in this world; you bring love and joy to those that would otherwise have none. You heal those which medicine cannot help, you are a natural healer; you have been blessed by God for your unconditional love." The woman explained calmly, smiling down at the girl in a haunting fashion. It was an odd thing, speaking with a ghost.

"But why do I live forever? Should I not have died at a normal age?" Lucy asked her, she supposed that her special 'gift' was not going to make much sense, though she was still confused as to why she had lived so long, even Madam Leveau, a well trained healer for her day, had died at the age of 79.

"I have seen your future, as it should have been." The woman said, almost a hint of sadness in her tone as she spoke. "Young Major Whitlock would have become a General; one of the most revered in the war. You would have been wed after the war, and had five beautiful children. You would have lived happily on a small farm up north; while he worked in the Military you would care for your family, and heal the others in the village. You both would have died of old age, very much in love with one another."

Lucy felt her stomach drop, the image played in her head, it was an image that in her childhood she had dreamt of; not necessarily being up north with the Yanks, but to marry for love, to not worry about her father's expectations for her... It was a perfect image, she could almost taste the sweet-tea in her mouth as she envisioned herself standing outside a modest porch, five small children running around the yard gleefully, a couple of neighbor children perhaps coming up to play.

* * *

_"Elizabeth Whitlock, if you do not leave those poor boys alone I will have to give you a whippin.'" A short figure of a woman with dark curly hair said as she stood on the porch of a modest farm house. Besides a large apple tree a girl with curly blonde hair, and shining blue green eyes looked up innocently, her large pink cheeks with soft dimples betrayed her attempt at looking innocent as she grinned with giggles. Two smaller boys that looked nearly identical stood to the blonde girls waist, they had mops of curly black hair, and brown eyes brimming with tears._

_"I told you to watch the boys, not hurt them. Come here Robby, Abe." The small dark haired woman said. She had high rounded cheeks, a soft pointed nose, and plump lips that were pursed at the small blonde girl, who must have been nearly 8 or 9. The two boys ran quickly to the woman, latching on to her legs as they buried their heads in her soft green dress. The blonde child approached sheepishly._

_"I'm sorry, Ma. They were trying to climb the tree." Elizabeth said, her eyes on her small black patent shoes._

_"Is that true, boys?" The woman frowned, pulling the two boys away from her sides to look at them._

_"We just wanted to-" began one of the boys, his tone whining._

_"Nonsense! To your room, you know not to do that without your father home." She said sharply, pushing the two towards the door in to the house. "Libby, go help Miss Marietta with dinner."_

_"Yes, mother." The blonde girl lowered her head once more, entering the house, her feet dragging._

_"No dragging dirt in to the house, I spent all morning cleaning those floors, Miss." The mother said, folding her arms with a frown._

_"Yes, mother." Libby said begrudgingly, lifting her feet theatrically as she made her way towards the kitchen._

_"What are the boys to wait for me for?" A smooth voice came as a pair of arms wrapped around the small waist of the woman. She sighed with a smile, leaning against the man._

_"They were trying to climb that tree again." She sighed, shaking her head as she turned to face him. Love was shining in both of their eyes._

_"You go to hard on them, Lucy. They're just children." He told her softly, laying a tender kiss on her forehead as she leant against his chest quietly._

_"They're __our__ children, and I couldn't live with myself if any harm became of them." She said sadly in to his chest, determined against it._

* * *

Lucy felt tears filling her eyes as she could practically _feel_ his warmth. She had names for her children, it was almost as though they had been stolen from her. She was robbed of the life she was supposed to have.

"I had seen him, knew that he had not died in the sense of being out of this world." The woman told her, breaking her from her thoughts. "If you were given the chance, would you go back to that life?"

The dreams all came to her, her mature face, the love in their eyes; the beautiful children that would grow up to be successful; her perfect family that she had always dreamt of having. Yet then, she would never have found Marietta's family; she would not have met anyone in her lifetime that she had helped, or had cured of some ailment; she would have died before many of the people whom she had briefly known were even born. The world as she knew it would have changed... but she would have lived happily, knowing love, and peace... unlike now, where she had spent over a hundred years wandering the world, fearful to grow close to anyone as she would outlive them. She wanted that life; more than anything in her entire life she wanted that life. It was her own personal fairy-tale... yet, like a pain in her heart, she was struck by how selfish it would seem. She would never help as many as she had, Marietta would die with her, her best friend, never to have found her family. She would have ruined Marietta's dream, so that she could have hers. She would have changed history.

"No." Lucy told her, almost begrudgingly. She wanted to say yes, she wanted to plead for a way to go back, but she couldn't. She couldn't change history, she couldn't ruin the lives of others for her own benefit.

"You contracted malaria, and you were dying when you arrived at my home with Marietta and Mrs. Whitlock." the nearly invisible figure of Madam Leveau spoke softly. Lucy couldn't help but grow more confused. She had known that she had been feeling slightly ill, though she hadn't thought of herself as dying. She had assumed it was a cold; perhaps something due to being fatigued due to her travels. "I saw great things for you, child. I saw that man in your future, and I could not let you die."

"_You_ made me live forever?" Lucy choked out; it wasn't necessarily surprising to hear that she had seen Jasper in her future, as she had quite obviously run in to him again, yet the idea that she was living forever thanks to a voodoo queen in the nineteenth century gave her a slight feeling of unease.

"You would have lived longer than the average mortal. You are blessed with the ability to give, and sustain life. Yet you would have died; I could not let you die, without having known the man who could love you." The woman told her. Lucy looked at her figure, realizing that they had walked back to her crypt. In the shade the ghostly figure of the woman looked nearly solid. "I gave you a drink, that many of my people have believed to give immortality. It is a very difficult potion to make, though I knew that it belonged to you."

"But, I look like I'm 16, and he wants to kill me. He is a _vampire_." Lucy cried out, feeling much like a spoiled child that had gotten the wrong toy. She was being told that she was immortal, and had been created that way to heal people, and to find love; and she could do nothing but complain.

"He cannot harm you, my child. One of their kind shall soon approach, if you wish to see what will happen upon being bitten. Perhaps it will solve many of your problems, and fears." The woman smiled. Lucy frowned, she wanted to ask more questions, though before she could say anything, the misty figure disappeared. It was early morning, 11 or noon at latest; She had been wandering the cemetery for nearly three hours, though it seemed no more than thirty minutes had passed. She didn't want to be bit by a vampire, yet her curiosity often won over her fears. She had little time to leave, however. Once she turned, she met with the broad grin of a man with chalky brown skin. He was tall, and handsome. His eyes a darker red than she had witnessed before. He was undeniably handsome, yet he was easily the most fearful thing she had ever seen.

"My, My, My. What a delectable specimen you are." He spoke softly, his tone musical, and taunting as he walked around her. "Praying to Marie Leveau for guidance? Perhaps a new pair of shoes, or to help with your boy troubles."

"No." Lucy said, though her voice was choked in her throat. She had never been good in fearful situations. Her 'fight or flight' instinct was nonexistent; when presented with a frightful situation, she froze. Her mind went blank, and she could do nothing but stare wide-eyed. The man seemed to find her fear amusing, chuckling lightly at her.

"This won't hurt too bad." He laughed. She wanted to run, he was going in for her neck. She cursed herself as she had kept Jasper's crisp, white jacket on. He took a step back.

"A vampire? What a pleasant surprise, that will make this much more enjoyable for me." He laughed, sniffing the jacket. She jumped as she felt a wave of nausea rush through her. A sharp pain coursed through her neck, shooting down her entire body. His strong, cold hand was pressed against her mouth to stop her from screaming. Everything blurred together in pain as she could feel blood flowing out of her neck and in to his cold lips. Her knees were going weak; it would only be a matter of moments before she passed out.

Then suddenly, she felt herself drop to the ground, the gravel digging in to the side of her face. He had dropped her as quickly as he had grasped on to her. Her eyes were still open, unfocused as she wondered why she was still conscious; why she had not died. The pain seemed to subside; she could feel her body trying to heal itself. The vampire was coughing, sputtering. She heard profanities as he walked about, as though in a drunken stupor.

"What are you?" He cursed loudly as he approached her, kicking her in the stomach. She felt a rib break painfully, though as quick as it had broke, it was healed. "This is unheard of! Why aren't you dying? Why do I feel ill!"

She couldn't answer as she choked out, though the sound of footsteps a couple of rows away caused the man to glance up before disappearing in a blur, just as the Cullens had. Pulling herself up she looked around; she felt sick; more sick than she could remember ever feeling. She felt the shallow indentations from gravel along the side of her face as she brushed it away, though within seconds they disappeared. Stumbling quietly she exited the cemetery, glancing up at the gate as she found herself on the sidewalk.

* * *

The bed had been far too comfortable, and her head far too heavy when Lucy stumbled in to her hotel room that afternoon. Food hadn't sat well in her stomach, and she felt as though she had contracted the flu. She hadn't been sick in over a century; she goes to New Orleans, and is suddenly sick as a dog. Her bed was a welcome change as she passed out. It wasn't that she had been in pain, but she felt heavy. As though a heavy weight was pressed against her entire body. She couldn't know how long she slept, but the sun was shining on her cheeks as a loud vibrating against the bed stand resonated throughout the bright room.

"Hello?" Lucy groggily held the phone, blinking her eyes as the light blinded her. She answered the phone, not knowing who would be calling her at what felt like an unreasonable hour.

"Luce? You're alive, aren't you?" Emmett. His tone was concerned, he was worried about her. "What is going on? Alice is having many very strange visions about you, and we've been trying to call you for two days."

"Oh." Lucy frowned, sitting up. She felt better than when she had returned to the hotel; all she needed was a very deep sleep. With a yawn she stretched out, catching her reflection in the mirror above a dresser. She choked, nearly dropping the phone. "I'm fine, just... strange."

"Strange?" Emmett asked; she could practically hear his frown. She approached the mirror, nearly forgetting that he was on the phone.

"I was bit in a cemetery while talking with the ghost of a 19th century voodoo queen." Lucy said, touching her face in the mirror, and then bringing her fingers to her face. She looked matured; her cheeks had hallowed out slightly, her skin smoother than before, though it held the same peachy glow as before, her cheeks tinged with pink. Her hair, despite being as curly as before, seemed much smoother and tamed.

"You were bit?" His tone was harsh, angered, shocked. A loud cacophony of sound from people in the background could be heard. She held the phone out, looking at herself in the mirror in awe. She quite obviously was _not_ a vampire, though she had obviously changed; she had _aged_. She looked more mature, she could easily pass for being twenty, yet her skin and hair were much smoother than before.

"Lucy, what is going on? Are you all right?" Demanded an angry voice, she could tell who it was. Curiously she lifted the phone slowly to her ear.

"Jasper?" Her tone was instantly softer, as though she was unable to help the fact that she was surprised to hear his voice. She felt a smile on her lips; the images of what could have been rushed forward with the memory of what Madam Leveau had told her. She knew that they would run in to one another. She could feel her heart race with nervous anxiety and a hint of fear.

"Are you okay, Lucy?" Jasper asked after a few moments had passed. His voice sounded even more beautiful than she had remembered, she could feel her chest leaping in to her mouth; words didn't seem sufficient. She wanted to see him; she _needed_ to see him.

"I think I'm losing my mind, Jazz." She said distantly as her mind swirled around thoughts of desperation, clinging wildly to any thought of the blonde man.

"Don't go-" He began, warning her of the impending doom of what would happen if she were to go outside as a newborn.

"I'm not a vampire." She said plainly, opening the blinds and seeing the hot, spring air. She could feel the humidity enveloping her like a blanket.

"What? But, how?" He was very clearly confused confused. He didn't understand how she had been bitten, yet was not a vampire. It made no sense, it should have been impossible; she should have either died, or become a vampire; yet nothing had happened... well, physically she had changed slightly, but she was not sharply pale, her eyes were the exact same, her cheeks had the same tint of rose, her lips still plumper than she liked; she wasn't much more graceful, her eyesight was as good as it ever had been. Glancing at the creepy man sitting on a balcony besides her, she did not thirst for his blood; she felt like rushing inside and never going out at the way he eyed her.

"What?" She asked, telling herself to ignore the creepy feeling as she went back in to her hotel room. "I'm fine, just feeling a little off. Nothing is wrong. I've got to go. I'll see you in school, or something."

Before he could respond, she hung the phone up. The small feelings of attraction that she had easily overlooked before seemed impossible to ignore anymore; the thoughts had been planted in to her mind. Her heart fluttered eagerly with hope; dreams of what could be. Her mind told her to ignore it, to avoid it; yet hope seemed to trample over any feeling of doubt she had. It was a very bad position to be in, there was room for failure from nearly every angle, yet she couldn't persuade herself not to want it, not to yearn for it. Over 100 years had passed, she had forsaken any form of attraction to another person, simply because it was irrational; they would die while she would live on... every time she allowed herself close enough so someone, they were killed off some how, she hadn't wanted to allow herself that pain, that hope... yet in a matter of minutes, or rather hours that felt like minutes, Madam Leveau had changed her entire resolve. She couldn't let herself get carried away with it; she would avoid him, and not get her hopes up. She would not let herself fall in love, she had a purpose in life; a selfless purpose that was far better than any romance could ever be. At least she would convince herself of that.

* * *

**A/N:** _So this is the chapter that_ _sort of__ explains what she is. It will be explained a little more later, in bits and pieces. But this is essentially it. I may go through and rewrite it later to see if it makes more sense, but this is what I had intended to put at the end of the last chapter. It's a bit shorter than most of my chapters, but the next one shouldn't take too long to write. Hopefully. Also, she is not infallible, and can die, we'll find out how later; blah blah blah. I'm rambling on. :D_

_Thanks for reading, I love getting your reviews, let me know what you think!_


	9. Chapter 9: Supermassive Black Hole

**Chapter Nine****: Supermassive Black Hole**

* * *

_'I thought I was a fool for no-one,  
__Oh baby I'm a fool for you.'_

_Muse - Supermassive Black Hole_

* * *

It was Friday morning when Lucy flew in to the rain filled airport of Port Angeles. She could have just driven home from Seattle, though she decided to take a short flight to Port Angeles and shorten her trip... yet as she walked through a puddle towards her car, she realized that she had three days with absolutely nothing to do. She had spent two extra days in New Orleans doing nothing of too much importance; shopping, looking at sights... though she had started to feel as though she was growing an odd following that lurked in shadows, and felt it was her time to leave.

While on the plane she had orchestrated an excuse for her change of appearance. After having her nose repaired, she decided to have the rest of her face fixed to look how she had wanted. She had to smile slightly at the ingenious nature of it. They wouldn't question it; everyone had known she hated her cheeks, and she was friends with some of the most superficial girls in school. The only ones that knew the real reason didn't dare say a word as it was more their secret than hers. While on the thought of the Cullens she couldn't help but groan as she opened the passenger door to her old car; it was a Porsche from the 1950's, a rare model race car that could reach up to 160 mph. She had purchased it in the 1960's at an auction because she thought it was pretty. A small, sleek black sports car with two doors and seating for "five", though it had to be five very small people. Her large trunk barely fit in the front with the seat pushed all the way back. It was nearly as large as her, though it didn't feel terribly heavy.

* * *

"Luce, Wow! You look great!" The cheerful face of Sam greeted Lucy at the door of her small brick home. Lucy stood on the porch with a smile. A slight scar had formed along Sam's forehead, though she looked otherwise fine. No one would have guessed that she had been near death less than a week prior.

"So do you!" Lucy said brightly. Sam shifted her weight as she stood on the porch before sitting on a small wooden swing that had turned to a weathered black brown with age.

"My parents are crazy now, they don't want me around you or Amber. They think you're bad influences." Sam said, rolling her eyes theatrically. Lucy frowned, her brows furrowing slightly in annoyance.

"Bad influences?" Lucy folded her arms over her chest. She had never been referred to as a bad influence, and she didn't like it. She was probably the best influence this girl could have.

"You know how my parents are, they blame everyone but me. I wasn't wearing my seat-belt, but they won't listen to that. They think you guys were driving recklessly, probably drunk." Sam groaned, leaning her head against the back of the swing. Lucy groaned at it, though Sam suddenly popped her head up and grinned brightly. "I hear that you got a ride home from Jasper Cullen, and that you spent the night over at their house."

"Who did you hear that from?" Lucy asked quietly, as though whispering made it more secretive.

"Jessica Stanley lives across the street from you. She said that Jasper has visited you quite a few times, but she never thought much of it before, since you're a freak, and freaks stay together." Sam said, digressing from her point before returning to it with a large grin. "So Emmett _was_ right when he said that you fancied Jasper. I had no idea, why didn't you tell me."

"I do not like Jasper." Lucy told her firmly, though even as she said it she felt the corners of her lips tug up, the slight fluttering in her heart at simply mentioning his name. It was as though just _thinking_ about him made an otherwise overcast, dreary day seem bright and sunny. It was like adding frosting on to an already delicious treat, the thought of him was so delightful that it filled her with glee. She wanted to be sick at her interest in him.

"_Liar!_" Sam hissed, spinning to look at her, her brown eyes glistening with excitement. "The two of you would be so cute. You're both so awkward, and old fashioned."

"Thank you for your approval." Lucy responded dryly. Little did Sam know just how old fashioned they truly were, and that she was not the first person to say that they would work well together. With every thought of him she was struck with the past, what _should_ have been. It was ridiculous, she knew that it would never be. She could not have children, he would never be in the military, and they would never live a laid back life in the country like the fantasies in her mind dictated.

"Oh you two _have_ to go to prom together, it will be so adorable." Sam mused. Lucy could practically see the movements like clockwork in the blonde head of hers. A rush of hope at the lure of going to prom with him swelled in her chest, though she forced it down. She didn't even _like_ high school dances, and with Jasper's control it hardly seemed like a good idea. He probably wouldn't have even wanted to go.

"I am not going to prom with him, you'll have to find me another date. I do not like Jasper, and he does not like me." Lucy said firmly, laughing in an incredulous manner, though it was more to cover up the fact that she was trying to convince herself of the matter.

"Oh whatever; he practically stares at you in US History class, and I've seen him look at you a lot during lunch lately." Sam said knowingly, stubborn as though she were an expert on the subject. Lucy felt an unsurpassable hope rise; the thoughts that perhaps he _did_ like her, perhaps there was hope that something could happen, that maybe all was not lost... yet then she thought had to the car ride home; he wanted her, but not in ways that Sam would have ever dreamt... ways that were not romantic in the slightest; rather they were quite morbid and depressing. Even the revelation that he couldn't kill her didn't help her dread. He _wanted_ to kill her.

"Does he really?" Lucy was unable to help herself from asking; spending so many years with the youth had truly derailed her mind; she sounded like a lovesick 17 year old girl... she was behaving like one, she _felt_ like one.

"It started after you worked together a few months ago; Sarah Jones said that he was watched you like a hawk when you walked in to their math class to give something to the teacher. I didn't believe her at first, but then I heard a few more rumors, and watched the two of you. I thought that you were trying to keep it a secret, or something. Jessica Stanley just confirmed it." Sam shrugged. Lucy frowned; clearly she was more oblivious to the rumors than she had suspected. Clearly, the entire high school population was more perceptive than she had been. She tried to remember that day that she had walked in to the classroom; it had been on after a big test earlier in the year.

* * *

_Rain; again. It felt as though it had been raining for the past three months. An exceptional start to the new year. Physics was one of the more boring classes she had taken; it rarely changed, and nearly every teacher taught it the same. It was an easy 'A', not that she had ever needed to take a course that was easy. She quickly jotted down the answers on a pop quiz, her feet squeaked slightly on the ground as she approached the front desk._

_"Here, sir." Lucy carefully handed the test in. Mr. Banner smiled at her warmly before reading over it._

_"Perfect, as usual, Miss Louhi." The older man smiled at her as he grabbed something from his desk. He began writing a hall pass. "Could you take something to Mr. Reinhard for me?"_

_"Of course, Mr. Banner." Lucy said politely, waiting for him to finish writing his note. He then pulled a large stack of papers. He handed them to her, with the hall pass on the top of the pile._

_"You know where his class is?" Asked the older man._

_"Yes, I have him for Statistics." Lucy smiled warmly, grabbing the stack and walking to her desk. She threw on a large blue rain jacket and made her way out of the room with the papers held under her jacket. She ran quickly, trying to avoid the rain as much as possible. She had twenty more minutes until class got out and she could go home, yet she hated walking in the rain. It made little sense to her why a school somewhere that rained so often would have such an open layout.__ Luckily for her; Mr. Reinhard's class was nearly as far from her Physics class as possible while being on the school grounds. Three minutes later she was left nearly panting for breath after having run across the entire campus to get to the class. Her cheeks were flushed pink and strands of curling black hair clung to the sides of her face with droplets of water.__ Stomping her feet on the sidewalk outside of the class she pulled her hood back and entered._

_"... with this equation you-" Mr. Reinhard continued with his lecture until he noticed the small girl. Lucy glanced around the class, her eyes set on a tall, blonde boy sitting towards the front. "Ah, Miss Louhi! Don't you have class with Mr. Banner right now?"_

_"Yes, I've got Physics. We had an exam and I finished early so he asked me to bring you some papers." She said, pulling the papers out from under her jacket. She set them on his desk, holding her hall pass._

_"Ah, always brilliant. It is not too late to be a teachers aid for my class, it looks good for colleges." The teacher told her brightly. Mr. Reinhard had been one of her favorite teachers; a short asian man, receding hairline, and a love for mathematics that seemed unnatural. "Perhaps you could help the students out with today's problem."_

_"I thought that once I got in to Statistics I wouldn't have to finish your calculus problems anymore." She grinned cheekily at him, stuffing her hall pass in to the pocket of her jacket as she glanced around the room. She met eyes with Jasper and froze momentarily; he had been friendly with her, yet she had felt oddly uncomfortable around him, particularly at school. A slight spark shot through her at the dark look he seemed to be giving her._

_"Just one, Miss Louhi." he pleaded with her, handing her the marker. "Make your old teacher proud."_

_"All right." She rolled her eyes, looking to the board. f (x) = 2x, g(x) = the square root of x , and h(x) = x - 1. What is fo(goh)? She held the the pen and began writing out quickly; it took nearly a minute for her to finish writing up the equation, making sure to use neat penmanship. "Two times the square root of x minus one."_

_"In four years, I don't think you've ever been wrong." He told the girl wistfully. She laughed somewhat awkwardly as she felt the eyes of all the students on her._

_"Thank you, sir. I've got to get back to class." Lucy smiled politely, nodding her head before running out of the door. Once the door shut she turned curiously to glance in at the class as he began to lecture once more. Her eyes locked again with the golden eyed boy. He was frowning as he watched her. She sighed, pulling the hood over her hair before running back to class._

* * *

"He wasn't watching me." Lucy responded defensively with her brows furrowed in concentration. She glanced to her friend as though to confirm it, though Sam seemed to find it more amusing than anything.

"You _do_ like him." Sam laughed loudly. "Four years of school, you don't like anyone. Finally, our senior year, and you have to like one of the few guys that are most off limits. And _somehow_, you get him."

"I haven't gotten anyone." Lucy said darkly, leaning against the seat with a frown. It wasn't to say she didn't _want_ it. In fact, the more she thought about it, the more she _did_ want it.

"Oh please... He and Alice were always together, it was a known fact. Do you think it's a coincidence that they broke up this year?" Sam asked in her own know-it-all voice. Lucy had to smirk at the differences between the two. Sam poked fun at her for being a know-it-all at school work, and facts... yet she had a mundane knowledge of every bit of gossip that was imaginable. "You guys get partnered up, share your freakish love of history, and suddenly they're broken up?"

"One of her old friends came to town." Lucy frowned, shaking her head defiantly. Sam was definitely not helping the voice of reason within her head.

"Yes, of course. But he definitely has not been opposed to the idea of you since then." Sam said, grinning. "The girls practically threw themselves at him when they found out he was single."

"When did everyone find out he was single? Am I always the last one to find these things out?" Lucy frowned; she had thought that he and Alice were still together, despite his obvious frustration with her. He had rarely brought her up.

"Alice went to the spring dance with her 'old' friend. They were _very_ friendly. It was like watching Emmett and Rosalie." She said as though it were an abomination for the beautiful short girl to have acted that way with another man. Yet Lucy felt a pang of sadness for what Jasper must have felt. They had spoken on the phone that night, talking about different brigades in the civil war, comparing knowledge. Matt had finally got the courage to ask the girl he'd been eying for the past year, and had ditched her at last minute. It wasn't something she minded, yet she hadn't put any thought in to Jasper not going. She had never seen him go to a dance once. "Also, Jasper seemed to be even grumpier than usual."

"That is, until he started visiting with you more often; or so I heard from Jessica Stanley, and Virginia Rhodes. I didn't want to believe them at first, I was certain you would tell me if he was coming over to your house so often, but it's _true_!" She proclaimed, as though in shock. Lucy felt a pit growing in her stomach. It was a mixture of the hope for what would happen, with the harsh slap of realization that perhaps she had been horribly oblivious; perhaps it wasn't a matter of what would happen, but what was happening already. It wasn't so much that it made her _less_ interested, though it made her feel much more awkward, and nervous. Suddenly she felt overwhelmingly self conscious, worried, and fearful.

"He didn't visit me that often, and Emmett was always there, too." Lucy replied, trying to suppress her internal emotions and debates.

"How often is not that often? Why are you just telling me this now? You are flirting with your first boy ever, and you don't even include me." Sam said, eagerly awaiting all of the juicy details. "And then I find out that you went over to stay with the Cullens; something that even Bella Swan doesn't get to do and her and Edward are practically joined at the hip."

"It was only once, their family is very nice." Lucy frowned, remembering why she tried not to get in to gossip, and why she had enjoyed her boorish life. It was as though she was under constant surveillance from the girls in this town; there were no secrets. "They came over maybe once a week, I didn't think it was that important."

"Have you talked on the phone with him? How does he act around you? Does he get protective of you? You seem closer to Emmett than him, does he act jealous?" Sam was talking quickly, her words all blurring together as she clutched on to the small dark haired woman.

"We've talked on the phone a few times. He doesn't get jealous of Emmett." Lucy rolled her eyes, though small bits of memories rushed to her mind. He had recently become more snappy towards Emmett when he would goof around with her, he had even stolen the phone from Emmett while she was down in New Orleans to ask if she was all right... and they had talked on the phone more in the past month than they had before. She hadn't really thought about it, or perhaps she had been as oblivious to it as she was with everything else, though as she tried to look back at their phone conversations, they spoke at least four times a week. The had spoken about nearly everything; School, their family and friends, what they wanted to do after graduation, their goals in life, and other similar things... obviously, a lot of it had been lies. She had been forced to censor herself, as she couldn't exactly tell him that this was nearly her sixth time completing high school, and that she held four different degrees; or that she actually had no goal in life because she had already lived two lifetimes. Everything that she had done was monotonous, boring... repetitive at best.

"I don't care what you say. He likes you, and you like him. You'd be an adorable couple. I can try to find you a date for prom. But if Jasper gets crazy jealous and kills him, I told you so." Sam smirked, her brown eyes glistening. Lucy rolled her eyes as she glanced behind her to see a pair of cold eyes watching her.

"I do not like him, and we would not be an adorable couple." Lucy said firmly, standing from the swing. "I should go home, I'll see you at school on Monday."

"What are you going to wear? You should wear something super cute for Jasper." Sam said, jumping up with a grin. She was easily 5 inches taller than the girl, yet by the way Lucy was glowering made it obvious which one held the dominance in their friendship.

"I do not need to dress _super cute_ for him. We are just friends." Lucy shook her head with a laugh.

"You're right; he seems to like you just fine dressing as you usually do. But think of how much he would like you if you _did_ dress up like a girl." Sam grinned before the front door opened.

"Come in now, Samantha." The figure of her father appeared, he gave a brief look to Lucy before disappearing.

"I'll see you monday." Sam grumbled, disappearing in to the house.

Luckily, Sam lived a block away from Lucy, and it was only slightly drizzling as she made the way back to her house. She had pulled the trunk in to her room, but otherwise hadn't stayed in her house. She felt rather avoidant and didn't quite want to sit and dwell on everything, though her mind seemed determined to do it regardless of where she was, or who she was with. Chastising herself she stormed in to the backdoor, hoping to avoid her neighbors as best as possible, locking it eagerly behind her. Her ability to overlook things had, at one time, been a desirable trait. She never asked twice why Wilfred went out drinking, or why her mother took in strange guests while her father was away; she never bothered to ask Marietta if it was normal to brew potions, and she never felt upset at the friendship that Wilfred had formed with other women in town. She had been oblivious, naive, and trusting. Even when things should have been painfully obvious, she overlooked it, trusting others not to lie to her... yet they hadn't.

The sound of her feet resonated loudly as she stormed down in to her basement. She was a fool. Everyone that she had ever known had taken advantage of her; they had lied, and encouraged her to assume the best. She had been so focused on the _people_, that she hadn't paid any heed to what came out of their mouths. She stopped at the bottom of the stairs, her eyes falling on a row of photographs that had been set on a large bookshelf. A picture that Marietta had taken after she returned home from being evacuated. Marietta had refused to go, yet upon her return she had taken a photograph.

_"You'll want to remember this day."_ Marietta's cool voice said, her honey colored cheeks were warm, and friendly. Lucy hadn't wanted the picture taken, yet looking back, she did enjoy seeing that photograph. She was dirty, even in the sepia toned photograph she could tell. Her dress was worn, dirt covering it. The oversized dark jacket fell nearly to her knees, with the hem coming unraveled in many places. Her hair looked horrible, it was obvious that she had been out in the wilderness for a few days. Yet looking at it, it was a reminder of that time; returning home from meeting Jasper for the first time, the fear and the excitement; she had been scared, but hopeful. Meeting him made her feel as though the war might truly end soon. Sitting beneath it in a small box was the jacket. She had repaired it on her first day home; she had cleaned it, sewn patches on, and repaired the buttons. She had ordered a new one to be made that was folded neatly beneath it. She had bought his whole company new uniforms; she always put money towards the soldiers that came through her town, they always needed new uniforms.

A large trunk sat atop an elevated shelf a few feet off the ground. Her fear of flooding caused her to put everything a few feet above the ground. It made for an odd looking basement, yet nothing was ever ruined, so she could sleep at night. Opening it she sighed, it had been his mothers. She grabbed everything off of the shelf that had greeted her on her descent to the basement and neatly folded them in to the trunk before locking it gently and lifting it with much more ease than she recalled having the last time she moved it. The old trunk still felt heavy, though as she carried it to her car she found herself musing on whether or not she had lost some things inside of it because of the relative lightness. With a sigh she shut the door to the passenger side. She would give all of it to him, and she would no longer be reminded of him. Her feet softly hit the ground as she walked upstairs to grab his jacket. She set the jacket on her bed before rummaging through her suitcase for clothes. Stylish and modern clothes; she would look normal and up-to-date. Like a typical teenager.

She took a quick shower, and began getting ready in the bathroom. It took a total of thirty minutes for her to finish showering and do her hair and makeup. She was going to look like she belonged in the 21st century, not the 19th. The reflection that looked back at her was not from the vision; it was a new her. Whether or not Jasper fancied her wouldn't matter, she was determined to fit in, and to enjoy her life. She slid on a pair of shoes, and held his jacket to her chest as she prepared to leave. Despite her determination to get him out of her mind she found herself lifting the material to her nose, the faint foresty smell lingering in the fibers beneath her own smell that had settled in to it.

"I've been following you all week, my dear." A smooth voice came from the hall as Lucy stood in the doorway to her room. Before she could blink she felt strong, cold arms wrap around her, her neck craned to the side. "What a shame your vampire can't save you."

"What do you want?" She frowned, her heart pounding in her chest. She didn't have to see the shining red eyes to know what he was, or what he wanted.

"You are quite peculiar, darling." He said, she could feel his lips smiling against her neck. "You kept me waiting for quite some time."

"I'm sorry, but I don't understand." Lucy said, mustering all of her courage. She knew that it was fruitless to fight. He was stronger, and more capable than her.

"You-" He began, but froze. "Your vampires are coming."

"Go downstairs, act normal. If they begin to assume anything, I **will** find you." He said with a dark smile against her neck, pushing her away. "I will be here listening to everything."

Lucy ran down the stairs quickly, it took two minutes for Emmett to arrive. Jasper was not with him, nor were any of the other Cullen's family.

"Luce! You expected me?" Emmett asked brightly as he approached the house. "You look different."

"Yes." Lucy said stiffly, her hands wringing on the jacket. Glancing down she jutted it out to him. "Jasper's jacket."

"He'll be here in a minute; he saw an elk and had to stop." Emmett rolled his eyes.

"That's disgusting, Em. I really don't want to hear about your eating habits." She frowned, folding her arms. He was eyeing her cautiously, she knew that he could hear her heart racing. She was scared, she didn't know what was happening.

"Is something wrong?" Jasper appeared suddenly, as though out of thin air. His brows furrowed slightly at her. His eyes were a glistening gold, his honey colored hair falling in to his face casually. His tone was filled with worry and concern. Rather than bring her comfort, however, it only made her feel more uneasy.

"Why would something be wrong? I'm just nervous to go back to school is all." Lucy spat out quickly, a little too quickly, her words blurring together slightly as her heart began to race more profusely. They would pick up on it, and the man would kill- She then realized that he _couldn't_ kill her. Somehow, the thought didn't help her to feel any better.

"You're shaking, and you look like you've seen a ghost." Emmett chuckled. Jasper reached out and grabbed his jacket, glancing behind her as he sniffed the air.

"There's a vampire here." Jasper frowned, walking past her in to the house.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Lucy said, though her voice wavered slightly, her voice hitching in her throat. She stood firmly in the doorway while Emmett and Jasper walked through her entire house.

"He left through the bedroom window." Emmett frowned as he went downstairs, he and Jasper watched her with a frown.

"What was a vampire doing here?" Jasper asked her, looking much like an angry father who had just caught his daughter sneaking a boy in to the house. She felt her courage return, feeling slightly angered at his tone.

"He was trying to bite me, what do you think he was doing here?" She hissed, throwing his jacket on to the back of a chair in her living-room. "It would have gone fine had you not gotten in the way."

"You _want_ to die?" Jasper responded angrily.

"It will not kill me, you buffoon." She spat back, walking in to her kitchen.

"You should come with us, Luce. It's not safe here. What does he want with you? How did he find you?" Emmett was concerned, though he wasn't nearly as patronizing as Jasper.

"He followed me from New Orleans." Lucy frowned, glancing at a clock in the kitchen. "Apparently the vampires down there got word of my unique blood."

"How is it unique?" Emmett asked her, folding his arms over his chest.

"I don't know, honestly. It did something crazy to the vampire that bit me, and now they're following me around." She shrugged, she had to force herself to watch Emmett, not Jasper.

"Come over and stay with us, we'll find them and find out why they're following you. We don't need another Bella." Emmett said harshly. Lucy had never seen them look so serious, or sound so grave. She wondered how she had managed to gain such strong allegiance after having only known them so shortly.

"I don't want to be a nuisance, and my neighbors are already spreading gossip about us." Lucy frowned, though it _did_ sound appealing. She had to wonder if it sounded appealing because she would feel safer, or because she would be closer to Jasper.

"Come on, I'll go watch you pack, Jasper will go get the car." Emmett said, his eyes watching Jasper cautiously; it was as though they were silently having a conversation with no words.

"I'd like to use my car." Lucy said with a frown. "Though It won't fit all of us, and I'll have to move Jasper's trunk."

"My trunk?" Jasper looked at her confused, his voice was smooth and melodic. She gulped slightly, daring a sideways glance at him.

"Yes, your mother gave it to me, so I thought I would return it to you. Better late than never." She said, trying to act casually. Just a look at him and the room disappeared; nothing else existed. It seemed as though everything in the room stopped, she couldn't feel her heart beat, or herself breathing.

"Thank you." He told her, breaking the silence as he glanced to Emmett. Cursing silently to herself she walked past the two men.

"I'll go get my stuff, are you coming, Emmett?" She asked, refusing to turn to look at the boys as they stood side by side. She had to make sure to call for Emmett, she couldn't stand to be alone with Jasper. She didn't even want to be near him. Just feeling him near her made it nearly impossible to think of anything but him; school would be hell. Her feet seemed to hitch on each step, dreading the immanent. She didn't _want_ to stay with the Cullen's.

"Carlisle says that he thinks it's a good idea for you to stay with us until we figure out why the vampires are tracking you." Emmett said as he appeared behind her. She couldn't help but frown; she hadn't heard him on the phone, and she didn't want to stay with the Cullen family. She loved their family, she knew that she did; they were nice, warm, and inviting... but she couldn't be around Jasper. She wanted to avoid him like the plague. She was considering even moving away; she didn't have to graduate; she could just start over somewhere new. "Pack heavy."

"Thank you, Emmett." Lucy drawled under her breath. She couldn't seem rude towards the rest of their family, but towards Emmett and Jasper it really didn't matter... she was surprised she had formed any sentences, so Emmett was the only source of outlet for frustration.

* * *

The sun shone brightly through the windows of her new 'bedroom' at the Cullen's home. She couldn't help but smile at the effort that Esme had put forth to make it comfortable for her. It was the same guest room as before, though it obviously had more of a southern style than before. It was only little things, like an older styled quilt spread over the bed that resembled something she would have made with her mother, but it was a nice sentiment. Her trunk had been set at the base of her bed by Emmett, who had refused to let her carry it. Within seconds of having arrived, Rosalie had disappeared under her car; Emmett forced her out, claiming that Rose was an excellent mechanic. Lucy snickered to herself at the thought that Rosalie truly was the perfect girl. She slowly opened her trunk, which was practically overflowing with things that she had packed. How was one supposed to pack enough of their life away to stay with someone for an indefinite amount of time?

Her book bag was the first to fall out; a large backpack that held her books, and easily weighed two tons... or at least 10 pounds... Setting it on the floor she began pulling her clothes out, setting them neatly in the drawers. Opening the top drawer she found it already filled with clothes that Esme had purchased for her. Curiously she made sure the others were empty; they were, thankfully. Lucy sighed, putting clothes away. She hated living away from her house.

Once the trunk was empty of clothes she began pulling out a wooden box that was at least a foot long, and half a foot wide. It had ornate carvings and painting on it, and looked old. Small insets of carved ivory and jewels glistened from sunlight that shone in through the window. Setting it atop the dresser besides a large mirror she opened it and reached to the back where she wound a mechanism. It had been a gift from her father when she was 15. It was a carousel music box that he had had special made in Switzerland. One of the girls in town had been given one as a gift, and Lucy had gotten jealous; it had been the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. It had been a box that would play a soft melody, the most musical ringing of bells.

* * *

_The small figure of a dark haired girl sat in a large, ornately decorated parlor. In her lap sat a small piece of silk with delicate embroidery around the edges. A soft image of fruit was on one corner, a decorative letter 'L' ornately done, while a needle with a dark green thread sat in it. The girl sighed somewhat impatiently as she returned to embroidering the material. It was like a scene from a painting; the beautiful room, the child, no older than 14 or 15 years old, her hair in beautiful ringlets, while she wore a lavishly done dress, as she embroidered a dainty handkerchief._

_"Lucy! Your father is home!" The lilting voice of a tall woman with black hair piled on to her head. She smiled in to the room at the child._

_"I haven't finished his present yet!" Lucy cried out, looking down at her lap with disappointment. "It is nearly done!"_

_"Lucy," Her mother began, warning her softly with her tone. The girl, however, looked down to her lap and began quickly stitching. No more than thirty seconds later she jumped up, hurriedly folding the finished handkerchief in to a box, securely tying the strings and using a tiny gold set of scissors to trim it._

_"Done." Lucy said proudly, folding it neatly in to a box that had been waiting for the small handkerchief. The girl quickly ran past her mother, darting through the house with agility before coming to the front foyer._

_"Papa!" The girl cried out gleefully, her green eyes glistening with tears of glee as she jumped in to the arms of a tall man with waving dark hair and the same shining eyes. "I have missed you!"_

_"I have missed you, too." The man dropped his small bag as he lifted his daughter, spinning her around briefly while she giggled like a small child._

_"I made you a gift." She said eagerly as he set her down. The small box paled in comparison to the rest of the house, though he smiled as he took it, opening it carefully. He pulled out the small cream colored cloth._

_"It is beautiful. I have brought you a gift, as well." Her father said with a smile. "Go sit in the parlor and I will bring it in to you."_

_"Thank you, Father!" She jumped up as she ran eagerly to the parlor. She wanted to hear all of his travels to Europe. He wanted to leave the United States due to the fear of war breaking out, and he felt that England was a better place to live than Texas._

_From the moment her father entered the room holding the luxurious box she knew what it was. Her eyes widened excitedly; it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. It belonged in a palace, not her home._

_"Oh Papa! It is beautiful!" She exclaimed excitedly as he set it on a table for her. He looked at her proudly, as her mother frowned slightly, shaking her head. Lucy opened the lid while her father wound the back. Her eyes widened in shock as a small scene played out. The soft, chiming melody of Canon, by Pachelbel played, as a pair of small figurines danced on the top of it in glass. It was a delicate ballet. She'd never seen anything like it, it didn't even seem real. It was amazing what man could do._

_"I had it specially made just for you." He smiled. Looking closer she saw the figurines; they had been hand carved, and bore a striking resemblance, to her, and one of the older boys in town who was preparing to leave for the army._

_"Is that supposed to be Will?" Lucy furrowed her brows slightly as she tried to look more closely at it._

_"That is the other news we have for you, my dear." Her mother said softly, touching her shoulder. Lucy didn't look up from the music box, plush velvet lined the sides, and it had countless little nooks for jewelry. The lid had crystal doors, with gold hinges and hooks that looked as though they held necklaces._

_"What news?" She asked, not looking as she opened one of the doors. It was the nicest thing she had ever held, and it was __hers__. She would make her father a hundred more handkerchiefs and quilts to thank him for such a beautiful box._

_"You know that Will's father accompanied me to England, and they are considering moving as well." Her father began, his tone was warm as he sat on a chair besides her. The fire from the wood burning, and the kerosene lamp made his face glow._

_"Yes, we are quite close with their family." Lucy said, a slightly confused frown as she looked up._

_"You are no longer a child, Lucy. You will soon be 16." Her father said, his eyes held a sad look. She froze, her hand shook as it held one of the doors open, her throat tightened slightly. Will had visited the house much more often than usual, and had helped her mother around the house a great deal while her father was out. "Young Wilfred has shown interest in courting you."_

_"This is fantastic news!" Her mother proclaimed excitedly. Lucy could hear her mother call for their best wine and the wheels in her head began to turn rapidly. Lucy wanted to cry; she had not thought about marriage, or courting. She had been perfectly happy living with her parents, and pleasing them. She wasn't ready for marriage. Glancing up with a gulp she saw her parents watching her proudly._

_"Yes, this is great news." She put on a smile, trying to sound cheerful as Marietta handed her a small crystal glass with a soft smile on her face, as though to apologize for the misfortune that everyone in town would think was superb._

_"I am so pleased to hear that you are happy with this, I had feared you would not prefer Will. He is a very kind young man." Her father said, hugging her tightly. "My little girl is growing up!"_

_"Yes." She said, trying to hold back the tears. Her mother mistook them for tears of excitement and replaced her fathers place and hugged her tightly._

_"We will have my mothers dress tailored to fit you, it has been in the family for a hundred years, and we will have to buy you some more mature clothing; you're not a child anymore." Her mother said, holding a curl in her hand lovingly. Lucy smiled, kneeling back down to look at the box as it continued to play, the figures dancing along what looked like an ice rink. Will was handsome, and he came from the richest family in the town. He would treat her well. His father raised him exceptionally; he went to West Point for school, and had only come home once a year, every year._

_"Thank you Mother, Father. This is truly a spectacular day." She said, putting on a broad smile. Her father began talking about his travels, though she could do nothing but allow herself to become mesmerized by her new, beautiful music box. She had known she would have to be married at some point, and Will was a good man. She wouldn't allow that to take away from the beauty of her new treasure._

* * *

Lucy sighed as she held a small bracelet from the box. It was a charm bracelet that Will had given her when he came home from the war. He had added charms to it from many of the places he had been to. Small silver bells, ornately carved crystal shapes, carved metal figurines. It must have cost a fortune back then, it had been beautiful. It weighed a ton on her wrist, yet she had worn it almost constantly. Everyone in town had doted on it. With a frown she placed it back in the box. She had never loved Wilfred, though in those days love was not what you married for. It was a marriage that would have made both of their parents very happy. There was no doubt in her mind, that from the look in his eyes he had loved her. Every day that she had lived with the guilt that she would never love him as he deserved. She had convinced herself that in time she would learn to love him, that the love that one feels for a lover is not natural, and would not come at once; rather it was formed over time. It was a bond that deepened, and grew as the relationship progressed.

Wilfred, however, had disagreed with this notion.

_"I have known that I would be wed to you from the moment I first set eyes on you._" He had told her, smiling warmly at her as they walked down the dirt covered road of their hometown. He held her arm in his affectionately.

_"That is impossible. I was but 8 then." _Lucy had laughed, her hair bouncing with laughter. The other civilians looked to them warmly; the young couple looked like something out of a picturesque painting; Her fancy clothes, his crisp new uniform with medals on it. He had been promoted before returning, and his new uniform had been made to show that.

_"It was love at first sight. I knew, from one look, that you were the girl I had been destined for."_ He told her. She knew he had a pang of sadness at the thought that she had not felt the same. He had become more sentimental after serving in the war, as though a great fear of losing her should he not proclaim his emotions at every passing moment. She would smile, tell him how much she appreciated him, that she loved him greatly, and would eagerly await his next return. She loved him, though it felt much as she loved everyone else. He was a kind man, and they were a perfect couple; everyone had said so.

Yet, meeting Jasper had thrown away any idea about attraction between men and women. It felt as though she had formed an instant connection with him the moment they first spoke; she couldn't stand to be apart from him for the entire three days she had known him. She knew that they were only friends, yet that hadn't been to say she hadn't hoped for more. She had convinced herself that she wanted nothing more than friendship from him, that he was a comforting figure; he made her feel relaxed. He had given her hope.

With an annoyed sigh she threw herself on to the bed, burying her head in the pillows. She had never thought to ask herself _why_ he had given her hope, or _why_ she had gone so far out of her way to help his mother when she had hardly known him. She was caring, and loving, and wanted the best for everyone... yet she had nearly devoted everything to helping the woman find him; putting forth more effort than she had for anything before or since. There was never even a consideration that she had felt something more for him. For a hundred years she had never felt that rush of a connection with another person, and not once had she even put thought towards it. She had always assumed that the war had been hard on her, and she had no desire for romantic relationships after having to survive after everyone that she had loved die off. But with a groan she came to the harsh realization that the reason Jasper dying had brought all of her pain rushing forth back then was not because it was the final straw; but rather it was the one that had hurt the most. He had been everything she had dreamt of in a man; a charming young major in the army, as handsome as he was brilliant... he didn't look down on her for speaking her opinions, and he didn't laugh at her desire for work. He listened when she spoke; something unheard of in those days. He had given her hope that the war would end well, not for the country, but for her... that one day she would have the happy ending she had dreamt of; that she hadn't been a strange fool of a woman that had unrealistic desires.

And then, as quickly as she had found him, he disappeared. Finding someone like him would never happen; so she didn't even look. Even seeing him standing in front of her; she had known that he was not the same person. Perhaps that was why it had taken her so long to connect the two. He was not the man she had fallen in love with; he was not the man that she had built up in her mind. She had been a perfect Victorian woman; completely oblivious and naive to everything in the world, including her feelings. She had been raised to be nurturing, caring, and protective over others; and in her whole life, those were words that everyone had always used to describe her... yet on the other side of the sword they also said that she was painfully oblivious to the intentions of others, naive that everyone wanted good in the world, and annoyingly prudish. Her mother would have been proud; she had devoted herself to one man unknowingly, and had upheld the standards that her mother would have loved. Though rather than help to fuel her growing infatuation, it made her almost angry with him. It wasn't his fault, but she didn't _want_ to like him. She had spent a hundred years alone because she had fallen for him, and some crazy ghost had doomed her to being alive forever so that she could spend forever with someone whom she had formed a crush on at 18. It wasn't fair.

* * *

**A/N:** _Hey guys, I hope everyone is having a great winter, we got more snowfall than we've had in over ten years; it was total pandemonium. The next chapter will have a bit about Jasper and his past, and Lucy will become a lot moodier and avoidant. Also in the next chapter we will find out more about Lucy, and what happens when she touches a vampire for too long. I've been working on drawing out how I think the characters should look/what they'd be wearing in different scenes. I'm not sure if you guys would care to see them, but if you want to let me know and I'll post links, or something. :D_

_Please review and let me know what you think. I apologize for any stupid mistakes I may have made. I try to proofread it, but tend to skip over things. Thank you for reading!_


	10. Chapter 10: Spotlight

_**Chapter Ten:**__** Spotlight**_

* * *

_Oh just take the fall,  
__You're one of us,  
__The spotlight is on._

_Mutemath - Spotlight_

* * *

_Tap Tap Tap_

A soft sound caused the small dark haired girl to glance up from the pillow that her face had been firmly planted in with the soft hope that if she stopped breathing long enough she would not wake up, and realize that everything was one horrible dream... though as it had turned out, she had only turned red in the face and was now slightly dizzy from lack of oxygen, though she wasn't dead, or even injured.

"LUCY? CAN I COME IN?" A loud, almost shrill, voice came from outside of the door; it was like a high pitch bell that was being rung right besides her ears. It took but a moment to realize that the tiny vampire with short black hair was standing outside of her door. Alice. She had never truly spoken with Alice. Everything she had heard of the girl was... _unique_, to put it lightly. Apparently, she also thought that Lucy was deaf. "ARE YOU ASLEEP?"

"Of course." Lucy sat up, taking deep breaths to make up for nearly five minutes of suffocating herself. She doubted anyone would have been able to sleep through her yelling. Glancing in the mirror she nearly laughed, her face was practically purple it was so red. Alice walked in, her eyes slightly wide as she took in her face.

"Lucy, you are purple in the face." Alice said blatantly, causing Lucy to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation. It seemed surreal.

"I was trying to see if I could suffocate myself." Lucy said, putting on a smile as she swung her legs off of the side of the large bed. Alice looked confused.

"Why would you do that?" Alice asked her, a soft wrinkle between her eyebrows as she looked at the slightly taller girl.

"I was bored. It didn't work." Lucy shrugged, standing up and running her fingers through her hair. Even after having been almost magically smoothed out thanks to her nameless attacker, it looked large compared to her body. She had cut it once, in the twenties... she nearly had an afro. There had been nothing attractive about it what-so-ever. At least when it was long, it sort of pulled itself down with the weight.

"Oh." The shorter girl said. Lucy took her first look at Alice as she felt her face returning to normal, the stars around her head seeming to disappear rather quickly. She was short, and very pretty. Even standing still she seemed to exude a grace that made Lucy feel clumsy, despite having been one of the most graceful and poised people she had known. She had taken ballet from the time she was four; which made for quite a few years... yet standing besides Alice she couldn't help but feel like a klutz.

"Well I heard from a couple of people that the reason you didn't want to go to Prom was because you couldn't dance, so I was going to offer to help you." Alice began casually, her golden eyes glistening mischievously. There was a certain gleam to her eyes that made Lucy suddenly feel like a science experiment; much more than with Amber and Sam. She had to snicker a bit to herself with the thought that the vampires seemed to look at humans as more of a toy than as a person. It was as though with each of their interactions they thought _'If I do this, what will they do?'_

"I can dance, I just don't see a reason to go to prom." Lucy shrugged. "I told my friends I would go, though honestly I don't see the big deal."

"It's a reason to go shopping, to dress up, to make yourself look beautiful, and spend the night dancing with people you care for." Alice said whimsically, somehow it seemed as though she danced even when she stood motionless. It was as though Alice lived in a musical, and everyone else was simply the boring background. Lucy looked at her curiously, she had not spoken much with Alice, nor had she heard a great deal about her. (Which could be in part because she doesn't _listen_ when she hears things.) Yet from what she had heard, and from her reactions, she had a feeling that Alice had not had a particularly normal human life; she reveled in what normal teenage things she could partake in; she could pretend to be normal. She could dress up, and have fun; pretend for one night that she didn't need to kill other creatures to survive, and act as though she wasn't going to live forever.

"Yes, I suppose it is." Lucy said putting on a smile. Living for a long time made it hard to take joy in the individual moments; something that to a normal person would seem so special didn't make any difference. Getting a car when you turn '16', going to high school dances, getting asked out on a date, graduating high school, getting in to a good school, being offered a job... once it becomes routine, you start to forget that it's supposed to be special.

"Would you like to try teaching me to dance? I am sure we could teach one another a few things." She told the smaller girl warmly. Her eyes lit up, and before Lucy could do anything, the smaller girl had tossed her over her shoulder and she was standing downstairs in the living room, clutching on to Alice for support. Lucy grimaced, glancing up to see Emmett laughing out at her. He was sitting on the couch flipping through channels faster than Lucy could even comprehend.

"I'm teaching Lucy to dance, go away." Alice shooed him away as she disappeared in a blur to a stereo system. She began messing with dials as she climbed up a step ladder to press knobs. She turned with a frown, her tiny hands on her hips. "That means go away, Emmett. I don't want Lucy getting self conscious."

"I don't mind, Alice. So long as I'm not dancing with Emmett. I think he would purposely throw me in to the ceiling or something." Lucy smirked. Emmett laughed at the accusation.

"I would not, Esme would kill me." He retorted, causing Lucy to laugh as Alice messed with the radio.

"Of course, worry about the house." Lucy rolled her eyes; it wasn't a frame of mind that she had been accustomed to, though she supposed that if they were built like rocks, and as strong as bears. There wouldn't really be much of a reason to worry about their personal well being; they were already dead, so it wasn't like any real harm could come to them. "Don't worry about _hurting_ anyone, but the house? Heavens no."

"You could just repair yourself, make it all better. Esme would make me fix the ceiling by hand, at a human pace." Emmett stated, as though it were an obvious fact.

"Humans do not _repair_ themselves, they **heal**." She frowned, folding her arms. "And healing would be quite difficult to do if I am bleeding all over the place in a shark pit."

"What is that supposed to mean?" He folded his arms, mimicking her stance.

"It means that you guys _eat_ blood, and I don't think waving it around your house would be a wise idea. It's not that I don't trust y'all... I just don't really care to take any chances. I may be immortal, but that doesn't exactly make being bitten enjoyable." She told him darkly.

"What does it feel like for you? When it happened. Did it hurt?" Emmett asked, her, he was curious. Alice appeared besides her, holding a small remote. The TV turned off, and she could tell that the girl was waiting for them to finish talking.

"No, it felt like the sunshine on my face, a warm spring rain, and falling in love. All in one." She smirked sarcastically. "How do you think it felt? It **hurt**!"

"But what did it do to you?" He asked her, rolling his eyes at her sarcasm.

"Honestly, once the pain subsided, it felt _odd_." She said in a curious tone, unsure of how to describe it. "It was like being drugged. Once I got over feeling ill, and realized that it wasn't going to kill me, it was almost enjoyable."

"Only you." He laughed, lounging back on the chair as Alice pushed it back effortlessly. Lucy couldn't help but be impressed at the strength in the small girl.

"I thought we would start with a waltz." Alice said cheerfully, approaching Lucy with a worrying level of eagerness. Lucy smiled, putting her hands out to the girl. Alice was a silent teacher, grabbing the taller girls hands and positioning her.

It was an odd thing dancing with a vampire that was smaller than any normal person. She was ice cold, hard, and her fingers felt like twigs on Lucy's bare shoulder. She wished she had dressed better for dancing; her off the shoulder sweater and tight jeans that had _looked_ so stylish were hardly good for dancing. Alice, for some reason unknown to Lucy, had allowed Emmett to have the remote. He found it quite amusing to switch the music at inopportune times, such as mid turn, or mid step. Yet Alice effortlessly moved through. Lucy hadn't been too slow at picking up the movements, as she had danced for nearly her entire life, yet Alice was decidedly quicker; almost as though she could predict when Emmett was going to change it. She then frowned at the realization that she probably _could._

Finally, he settled on a quick big band piece. The one good thing to come out of the forties and fifties had been the dancing. It wasn't as technical as other forms, and it was much more laid back than what Lucy usually preferred, yet it was also much more fun. Alice was easily the best dance partner that Lucy had ever had; she nearly wanted to ask the girl to Prom with her simply to have such a skilled partner. She couldn't help but smile with enjoyment. Neither girl spoke, they simply danced. She was surprised, as she spun the girl briefly, at how light she felt. For some reason, she had thought that Alice would weigh a ton due to feeling like a rock. Yet then, as she started to think about it, she realized that her hands felt softer, almost as though they had warmed up under her touch.

"Alice finally found her dance partner." Lucy heard Emmett say, she and Alice stopped for a moment, grinning at one another like giggling school girls.

"It would seem she has." Carlisle stood besides Emmett, chuckling slightly to himself as the two girls glanced at him. Lucy glanced back to Alice, nearly in shock.

"You look like you're blushing!" Emmett choked out. Carlisle and Emmett ran to the two girls. Lucy pulled her hands away from Alice. Alice looked confused, glancing down at her hands. They had gotten so wrapped up in dancing that they hadn't noticed the small changes Alice was experiencing.

"Why do I feel so odd?" Alice asked, looking to Carlisle, confusion apparent in her eyes, that seemed to be a mixture between their golden yellow, and a pale grey blue; though rather than being green, it looked as though they couldn't make up their mind, shots of each color brightly going through them. Her skin had darkened slightly, though she was still markedly pale; perhaps the largest change in her now tinged pink cheeks. "I feel very hot."

"You are warm." Carlisle felt her forehead. She looked wide eyed.

"You're cold!" Alice said curiously, she looked to Lucy with extreme confusion and curiosity. Before another word could be said, the rest of the house appeared at the bottom of the stairs. Esme approached the small woman and Rosalie watched with a frown besides Emmett. Edward and Jasper were watching from the stairs, though Jasper looked more confused than Alice had. Judging by his expression, she suspected that he was nearly as confused by her situation as she was. It was a slight comfort, though it barely made up for the fact. Edward, however, looked curious, and angry. It was strange, almost as though the two had traded places. For two years she had only seen Jasper show a couple of emotions; one looked pained, one was hungry, and the other was anger and disgust. Perhaps that was why she had never connected him with the caring man in her past. Yet in the time that she had come to know him, she found that he seemed to be a very torn man. He had never told her about his past, what had happened when he was bitten... though it must have been something horrible; something that made it hard for him to deal with being around people. It was as though there was a switch, he would be fine one moment, yet in one brief second he would be distant, angry, pained, and disgusted.

"It feels as though the blood in your body is trying to pump through the veins. It doesn't seem possible, though I can hear it very silently." Carlisle said as he listened to her arm. Lucy knew that if he could barely hear it, there was no hope for her to even recognize it. "Do you know what you did?"

"I was just dancing with her." She felt guilty, and shocked. Alice winced as her color slowly faded, her eyes were now their bright golden. Her cheeks were losing their color, though her hands were the last bit to hold on to the soft pink hint; the skin softer and warmer than the rest of her body. Unconsciously she took a step back, a gulp in her throat. Perhaps _that_ was why the vampire had been following her; why he had heard of her.

"Lucy, could you come here?" Carlisle asked, motioning her towards he and Alice. Lucy tentatively obliged, standing besides the two. Much to the dismay of the others, he led them towards his den, shutting the door for privacy. He directed her to hug the smaller girl.

"All right." She said slowly, somewhat worrisome at the prospect. What if it hurt Alice? What if having been bitten by that vampire had heightened her ability? It seemed a strange idea, but she had assumed that the reason vampires could have special skills was that their human abilities were heightened; and she had gotten _some_ traits of vampirism; the smoother, more fair skin, sleeker hair, and she seemed to be less clumsy; not that she had been before. Yet beyond liking her meat rare, which she had before anyways, she didn't have any urge for blood... though she had been craving meet more than before; not to the point where she could justify killing one, yet considering she had gone nearly forty years without eating meat, wanting it frequently was something she should have paid attention to before. Alice felt cold, and hard. As she had expected. She waited patiently, her arms wrapped awkwardly around the small girl, she closed her eyes, resting her head on her shoulder in a tired fashion. She wasn't very sleepy, though she could tell that Alice felt as awkward about the intimacy as she did.

"You are amazing, Lucy." She heard Carlisle say in awe. Lucy shot her eyes open curiously, pulling back from the girl to look at her as the girl was gasping slightly, taking shallow breaths, her hand had moved from around the girl to her throat.

"Don't let go of her." Carlisle instructed as he reached up and began taking vitals of Alice, and then of Lucy. She felt eager; worried, curious, and surprised. Alice had gone from being cold and hard, to being soft, and warm. Her eyes, no longer held traces of gold, rather they were a pale grey blue, with a brown circle around the outside.

"It would seem you are able to counteract the venom." Carlisle said in wonder, shaking his head. "How do you feel, Alice?" The two watched her with baited breath, eager to hear what her response was. She seemed to have stopped grasping her throat, and looked between the two in shock, her eyes finally resting on Carlisle.

"I feel... _alive_. I can't hear everyone outside of the door anymore, I can't feel her heartbeat against my skin... and I can't see as clearly as before." Alice said slowly, taking a deep breath; she looked up to him almost frantically. "I can't smell her blood. I can't see the future."

* * *

The first day back from spring break was sunny; not a cloud hung in the sky and Lucy felt herself smiling brightly. Not only was she happy for the warm, sunny, spring-like weather; but the sun meant that she would not be escorted to school by the Cullens, as they had preferred. It made little sense to her _why_ they had become so oddly protective over her, and while it was a comforting feeling, it left her feeling slightly uneasy. Her entire weekend, rather than spent outside enjoying the sun, had been spent pent up inside as Carlisle ran various tests on her, using Alice as her strange guinea pig of sorts. The entire student body seemed to be celebrating the weather as she had wanted to, taking every chance to run outside; throwing frisbees between classes.

"No _friends_ today?" Lucy frowned as she glanced up from her seat in US History. Sam was smirking as she plopped down unceremoniously in to her seat besides the girl. "I nearly expected you to move your seat away from me and over by them."

"Ha. Ha." Lucy told her dryly. shaking her head as she glanced out the window.

"Where are they, anyway? They always disappear when it's sunny, but what do they actually do? Now that you're on the inside, you need to let us average people know." Sam said excitedly. "Are they as weird as they seem? Are they actually hiking, or do they just stay at home? What is their house like? I heard it was amazing."

"If you really want to know, why don't you ask Bella Swan? She knows them much more than I do. I am hardly friends with them." Lucy told her darkly. Truthfully, she would have considered Emmett and Alice a friend now, and she couldn't help but fall in love with Esme and Carlisle. Though the rest of the Cullen family was much harder to deal with. Rosalie seemed content on ignoring the girl, and shooting her dirty looks, and Edward was rarely there, while Jasper... Jasper was another story entirely. Lucy had _thought_ it would be hard living under the same roof as him, that she would be able to think of nothing but him... yet by Friday evening he had made it more than apparent that he held none of the sentiment that she had. If she were in a room, he would disappear in a blur, his face a look of utter repulsion that was worse than any expression Rosalie could muster. The few brief moments where they had gotten along seemed to equate to nothing in comparison to the time that he avoided her like the plague.

"She just knows Edward, and Alice." Sam groaned. "What about Emmett? And _Jasper_? And their parents, what are they like? Are you and Jasper going to prom yet?"

"I-" Lucy wanted to hit her head against the table at the questioning. She had known to expect it, though she was suddenly wishing she had taken up the Cullens on their offer to let her stay with them on the day off.

"You're going with _him_?" A disgusted hiss came. Lucy glanced up to see a very disgusted looking Tyler. His hair looked as though it hadn't been brushed in months, hanging somewhat lazily around his face, barely pushed out of the way of his pale eyes.

"No, I am not going with him." Lucy said, her head then snapped outside at a soft sound. Within the ten minutes that she had entered the building, and found her way to class, it had started to rain. She groaned, annoyed at the rain. Typical Forks. She would not make the same mistake again in choosing somewhere to live; next time she was choosing somewhere warm and sunny.

"Like he would go with her. I'm just waiting for him to ask me." Lucy couldn't hold back the bark like laugh as she watched the brown haired girl saunter to her chair a couple of rows ahead of Lucy. At that time, she felt herself sinking deeper in to her chair. Emmett and Jasper entered the room, Emmett was smirking, whispering something to Jasper. Jasper seemed to smirk at it as he glanced around the room. Jessica was batting her eyelashes at him.

"I think she's having a seizure." Lucy smirked to Sam, who began laughing at her. Tyler frowned, looking very angrily at the two boys who had entered.

"But-" Tyler began, but a shrill bell alerted them that class had now started, and the Fuhrer Gripling did not take kindly to people out of their seat when the bell rang.

"Before class begins, I would like to let you all know of a field trip that we will be taking. As is traditional for this class, we will be attending the Port Townsend Victorian Days in two weeks time. For those of you in need of extra credit, you may dress up in your best Victorian costume, and partake in activities there." Mrs. Gripling said, her eyes landing on Sam. Lucy hated that the teacher had constantly picked out Sam; she wasn't _that_ much worse than the average student, though because she had always partnered with Lucy it made her look worse. "I will be handing out permission slips at the end of class."

Lucy doodled idly on her notepad as the teacher lectured about something or other; she thought it was world war 1, though she didn't pay much attention. The teacher only picked on her when she was having a bad day, and no one would answer her questions correctly; Lucy had picked up on that in her first year there. She had become the go-to person for answers in her classes; the only exception being the Cullen children. Edward, in particular, had always seemed quite astute for answering questions when he had been paying no attention to the teachers. She had not thought much of it, though finding that he could read minds made it almost as though he were cheating. Ten minutes before the bell would ring students began moving about restlessly. Students never changed. The class was hardly an hour long, yet they always began to prepare to leave before the bell had even been _near_ ringing. Lucy glanced over to Sam's notes as the class came to a slow close. Homework was to read a chapter in the book.

"So Luce, you're really not going to Prom with Hale?" Tyler asked, his arms folding over the edge of her desk as he had spun to face her. She frowned at him, taking in his appearance. He wore a t-shirt with some random logo on it, and baggy jeans that looked as though they were a size too large.

"No, I am not." She said as she slid her stuff in to her bag. One minute until the bell rang.

"Why not?" He asked her curiously. She slid her lightweight jacket on over her blouse, frowning.

"Why not?" She repeated his words slowly, a scowl deepening on her features.

"Well everyone thought that the two of you had something going on. I mean, Jessica Stanley saw him at your house, and everyone knows you spent spring break with them." He offered casually; she caught a look of hope in his eyes. She glowered, glancing sideways to Emmett and Jasper, both were watching her somewhat curiously. Sam looked much like a child about to receive a Christmas present.

"I went to New Orleans for spring break, and there has never been anything between Hale and I." Lucy said icily, her eyes narrowing to the taller boy as he stood at the edge of her table. Sam looked crestfallen, and Emmett looked amused. Jasper, however, seemed to have gotten a whiff of Tyler, as he suddenly looked very uncomfortable. Thirty seconds.

"Oh, Well I just thought-" He began cautiously, his tone rambling slightly. Next to Emmett he looked like a breakable twig. She wondered if that was how she looked around them.

"You didn't think _anything_." She said darkly as the bell rang, pushing him over the desk to go past him angrily.

"Well no one was asking you because they were afraid Hale might hurt them." He called out as he followed her. Any lackluster feeling Sam may have had was gone as she followed gleefully, eager for the newest gossip.

"_What_?" She hissed, stopping in the center of the hallway. Sam took a step back, and Tyler seemed slightly surprised to see her angry expression. She had not particularly _wanted_ to go to prom, though she had not thought that this 'Jasper' thing was so spread around as it apparently had been. They hadn't even _spoken_ at school. Her eyes narrowed past Tyler, to the taller boys that exited the classroom after them.

"Well with the way you stared after him, everyone thought that you _had to_ like him." Tyler told her, drawing her attention back from the two Cullen boys to him. "I mean, no offense, but if Jess hasn't gotten him, I don't know what hope you have."

"I do not _want_ him." Lucy hissed, taking a step towards the boy angrily. She wasn't sure what had taken over her, but all she could think of was wanting to _hurt_ this young man for being so presumptuous, and egocentric. It was as though she had never felt so angry with someone for something in her entire life.

"I don't mind being your second choice, when you realize he won't take you." The boy continued, a cocky glint in his pale eyes. Before she had even thought about what she was doing she heard a loud crack, followed by gasps. With slightly wide eyes she realized that the _crack_ had come from her fist, connecting with his cheek bone. A second crashing sound came as his head hit against the lockers behind him. A surge of adrenaline rushed through her body, a strange sense of smugness at having caused him immense pain as he writhed, leaning against the lockers as blood began to pour out of his nose like a faucet that couldn't turn off. Jasper went completely rigid, and Emmett began to try to pull him away. Her smugness was short lived as she instantly felt guilty. She knew Jasper had the least control out of them all, the fresh blood would be like hell for him.

"Who did this?" Mrs. Gripling appeared, a sneer on her face at the thought of the students fighting in the hall.

"I walked in to the lockers, Mrs. Gripling." Tyler said, though it came out slightly mangled as blood clogged his nose. She looked apprehensive, but glancing around it seemed as though there was no one else to have done it so she shook her head at the clumsy boy and returned to her room. Lucy shook her head, for once thankful for the boys misplaced pride, and ran down the hall in the direction where she saw Emmett struggling with Jasper. The thought that by running after them, her entire fight had been pointless barely registered.

"Lucy, you shouldn't come-" Emmett began, as Jasper growled slightly at being pulled down the stairs. Lucy took a step back, his eyes were pitch black as he bared his teeth to her. Lucy gulped slightly, but latched her hands around his arm that Emmett had held down as he led him towards the exit.

"Lucy, this is suicide." Emmett growled darkly, though continued to lead him away from the school. She felt the pit in her stomach grow; the one that told her she _should_ run, but that her feet rarely listened to. Punching a defenseless boy in the heat of anger, and running from a thirsty vampire were two separate things. She didn't even try to understand why she had become so angered by the boy.

"I'll be fine, Emmett." Lucy said, her voice much more smooth than she felt. She knew that Jasper had become more cooperative the moment she had touched him. Not because she had a soothing presence; but because she was a nearer source of blood. She could see the battle behind his eyes; the desire to kill, the inquentiable thirst... and the desire to be a decent person; to not rely on killing other humans for his own life.

"Why did you have to punch him? Couldn't you have just walked away?" Emmett frowned, pushing open the doors, ignoring the curious students that watched as the three exited. She could feel his arm warming, though the untamed thirst was nothing like Alice's; and Jasper was twice the size of Alice, which meant it would be twice as hard to circulate whatever anti-vemon magic she had.

"We need to go to you car; he needs to bite me." Lucy said firmly as they walked down the cement steps towards the parking lot. Emmett and Jasper looked at her incredulously. She saw Jasper try to shake his head, though his body was more tense and stiff than usual; his eyes held no hint of the golden color of Emmett's.

"What?" Emmett choked out. "You can't-"

"I will be fine, Emmett. He _needs_ to." She said firmly, her eyes narrowed at the large man. He wanted to protest, but she began walking more quickly, tugging at Jasper's arm. He began moving faster at her urging, which Emmett was thankful for, though his eyes were masked with a hint of disapproval. She hadn't understood how her 'gift' could have helped any, and why Madam Leveau had been insistent that they would _need_ one another; yet suddenly it all clicked. He didn't have a lot of restraint, for whatever reason it was. He never shared his story with her, though she didn't press for it; her mind was not nearly as inquisitive as many were. She could make him more human; more alive... she had made Alice feel hungry for _human_ food simply by touching her; the desire for blood had disappeared all together... granted once they stopped touching it went away... but if touching had that severe of an impact, certainly biting her would have made them nearly human. She had discussed it with Carlisle, though they had been unwilling to test the hypotheses. Yet it made sense; why else would vampires have tracked her all throughout the country? Why would they have been so eager to take her, when she could not be changed or killed?

"He needs to calm down, a few days away. Hunt more." Emmett said firmly as they stood outside of his car. He was rightly incredulous, but Lucy felt certain that this was the best option.

"Emmett, it is either he bites me, or we get much more physically intimate than either of us are comfortable with." Lucy bit sharply, her tone held a strong sense of finality that even Emmett could not argue with as he opened one of the doors for her. The sound of the bell in the distance told them that their English class had started.

She sat in the passenger side as Emmett led Jasper in to the driver seat. Lucy couldn't help but worry that maybe she was doing the wrong thing; yet the voice in the back of her head said that she had to do this. She had seen the look in his eyes, and the way he had been trying to get away from Emmett... She had been able to stop him from killing an entire hallway. If anything, she had been able to lure him out of the school. As the car moved slightly at the weight of Jasper sitting she saw Rosalie and Edward appear on the stairs. They had undoubtedly ran as casually as they could to make sure Jasper hadn't attacked students. With a sigh she glanced to Jasper. He looked pained as the wheels behind his eyes churned away; he wanted to bite her, but he didn't want to. Before she could blink she felt a cold hand by the side of her face. He was touching her hair, a slightly dark tug of his lips. Her breath hitched as her heart raced.

"Just do it, Jazz." She said quietly, her legs folded beneath her on the seat, and her bag forgotten on the floor of the car. She leant towards him, pushing her hair out of the way from beneath his hand. She felt as though an odd electric current had raced through her as the back of her hand touched his palm. Her eyes unconsciously looked to his mouth, his lips pulled back, his teeth shining brightly, glistening with anticipation.

_Breath, Luce_. She had to remind herself; she had never felt more anticipation for anything. She jumped instinctively as one of his hands reached behind her neck and he leant closer. His breath tickled the exposed skin on her neck and time seemed to move slowly; she could practically feel each second passing. The first time she had been bit was nothing like this; it had been like a savage, eagerly eating their first meal in days. There had been no sense of savoring the moment. Yet now, it was as though she was a delicacy that he wished to prolong; a fine wine that one would first smell, closing their eyes as they allowed the scent to overtake their senses. Had it not been for the fact that she knew he would bite her, it would have been a very intimate moment. She felt numb, stupidly frozen in her place as he sniffed at her neck. Both of his hands were held in her hair, securing the angle that her neck had been pulled to. Her heart pulsed loudly, awaiting the inevitable, or perhaps it was more than simply that. All of her silly hopes at having been this close to him were suddenly real, and for some stupid reason, the fact that it was so that she could sacrifice herself to save his face, and keep the student population from dying seemed to hardly hinder her underlying excitement.

The pain that shot immediately through her body was like nothing she had ever experienced. Her hands instinctively reached to his shoulders as though to push him away, yet she didn't push and he didn't seem to notice. It was the strangest feeling as she could feel her blood pushing out; out and in to his cold lips that were pressed firmly against her neck. Her eyes were shut tightly. It was nothing like when the other vampire had attacked her; it felt more painful, yet, absolutely amazing. Her entire body felt like it was engulfed in flames, a beautiful, and light flame that both burned, and seared her with pain and desire.

As suddenly as he had started, it stopped. He had pulled away quickly, and she felt herself fall against the leather seat of the car; despite his coldness, she suddenly felt as though she were freezing without his burning touch. She let out a breath that she hadn't realized she was holding, her heart rate raced faster than she'd ever experienced before. Her head felt heavy, as though she'd just eaten a large meal for thanksgiving and wanted nothing more than to lay down in a warm bed. It took a few moments for her heart to slow to a normal pace, though Jasper remained silent the entire time. After what felt like an eternity she dated to open her eyes, she squinted to look around as the car grew blurry and out of focus. Jasper had returned to hunching over the steering wheel as he silently gasped for breath with his face hidden by his arms. This was what had happened to the other vampire, as well. The choking, the strange, confused sense of illness. Glancing outside she saw that the others had disappeared. Somehow the thought that they had trusted her enough to leave her with him made her feel a swell of pleased pride.

"Are you all right?" Lucy asked after three minutes had passed. She gently reached out to touch his shoulder. He sat motionless against the wheel. He seemed to jump at her touch and his shirt felt warm beneath her hand. He looked at her, seeming as unfocused as she had been with she first opened her eyes, yet the most surprising thing was not his unfocused confusion.. She couldn't help but latch her arms tightly around his neck with a broad grin.

"What is going on?" He choked out. He was confused as he glanced around the car. She pulled back, unable to hide her smile. She felt as though everything was suddenly perfect. She had found her calling; she had found what she was meant for. She could make them human again, even if only temporarily. The risks seemed hardly important. His golden brown eyes widened as he saw a slight trickle of blood from her neck, the wound slowly healing itself naturally. "I attacked you?"

"You had to." She frowned at his quiet, disgusted tone. He shook his head.

"I am so sorry." He said, repeating it quickly under his breath. She reached a hand up and wiped the small trickle of blood from her neck. He must have had a great deal of practice; the other vampire had made a mess of her neck, yet she barely looked as though she'd gotten a paper cut. Grabbing a scarf from her bag she wrapped it around her neck, concealing the soft scar tissue that formed.

"Don't apologize, You were going to decimate an entire hall of students if I hadn't lured you out." She spoke softly, touching his arm gently. Her words seemed to do little to soothe him, yet she was cut off by a loud ringing. "Ah, Lunch time."

"Lunch time?" He furrowed his brows, glancing up at the school. She leaned back on to her chair with a sigh. A quiet grumbling in his stomach caught her attention, causing her to smirk faintly. A wild idea began to form in her mind and she impulsively grabbed at his wrist. It felt smooth, and warmer than she had recalled. Cautiously, she lifted his hand and pressed at the skin gently to feel for a pulse. He looked at her curiously, but she couldn't help but be amazed with herself.

"You're _alive_." She said quietly in awe. He seemed even more surprised and confused than she was. She had been hopeful that this was what would happen, though she had never expected it to work. She had always been hopeful that a lot of things would happen, though it never seemed likely that they came true. As his stomach grumbled loudly once more she frowned, her thoughts torn on what to do. "You should try eating something."

"If I am going to have my first meal in 140 years, I do not want it to be cafeteria food." Jasper frowned as he looked outside of the car towards the school.

"You can have mine; I don't mind having greasy pizza." She said, pulling a paper bag out of the forgotten bag on the floor. He eyed it cautiously, but she waved her hand dismissively and stepped out in to the chilly spring air. She much preferred bringing her own lunch, and Esme had been more than willing to help her make some good 'comfort' foods for her to bring to school. With a quiet sigh he stepped out of the car. A slender way of light peaked through the clouds and hit his pale skin; his eyes widened in shock as it did nothing but reflect his paleness. Even the scars that littered his hands and neck seemed to hold less of a sheen now.

"What is this?" He eyed the bag warily as he walked with her through the school towards the low hum of the cafeteria. A few students ran past them towards the dining hall.

"I cooked it yesterday night." She said with a soft smile as he pulled put a long water bottle filled with a strange brown liquid that had condensation on the edge of the bottle. She was thankful for the non-melting 'ice blocks' she had found some time ago at a store; it kept drinks cold until lunch time, yet didn't make them watery. He opened it to smell with a frown. "You _have_ had sweet-tea before, haven't you?"

"Very long ago." He shook his head as they entered the cafeteria. He took a sip, she could tell it felt strange for him to have the cold liquid go down his throat. "This tastes... better than I expected."

"I am glad you like it." She beamed, though she then felt her large grin fall as she realized that they were no longer in the peace of the parking lot, but standing in the entrance to the cafeteria. She had just punched a boy for saying that she was dating Jasper and she had just skipped off a class to be with him, and was entering the cafeteria with him.

"You should go sit with your family, I'm sure they are wondering how you're doing." She said quickly, playing with the tassles on her scarf before darting quickly towards the lunch line. She could feel him watching her, confused. With a tray in hand she frowned, her stomach dropping as she glanced to him.

"You're not going to sit with us?" He asked her, his brows furrowed as he stood in line with her. Rosalie and Alice stood ahead of them a ways in the line, glancing back to the pair curiously.

"You should sit with us, Lucy." Alice said with a smile. Lucy didn't _want_ to sit with them. She had had some semblance of a normal life until she had gotten to know them. Though normalcy had been lonely; it had been tiresome, and boring.

"I wouldn't want to intrude on your family time." She smiled politely, trying to get her way out of it. She could feel Sam watching her, and through the corners of her eyes she saw the girl, broad grin on her face as she motioned a thumb's up. The anger was building back up, and she could feel her face flushing a bright red.

"Don't be ridiculous, you're practically one of us now." Alice said with a warm smile, though it did little to calm the curly haired girl, who suddenly felt her appetite diminish as she looked down to her pizza. She hated pizza.

"Okay." Lucy responded dumbly. She couldn't say no; it would be rude. She stopped at a small microwave that was set up on a tray. She grabbed the bag that Jasper was rummaging through curiously. He frowned as she began opening little bags from it, emptying the contents on to a paper plate. "It's no five star meal, but it's my comfort food."

"What is it?" He smelled a strange white substance that was in a small container.

"And you call yourself a southerner." She shook her head, grabbing it from his hands and putting it in to the microwave. "It's a country fried steak with gravy, some greens, and beans."

"You know that I haven't been able to eat southern food in a very long time." He frowned at her. She laughed, he almost sounded as though he was guilty, his arms folded across his chest defensively. She pulled it from the microwave before the timer had went off. She grabbed a piece of silverware from the bag that she had brought and began mixing it, leaning over it and bringing it to her face, feeling the eat against her lips. She began poking at it lightly before seeming content, handing the plate to him.

"It shouldn't be _too_ bad." She said, suddenly feeling self conscious that he was going to eat her food. She realized that he hadn't eaten anything in over a century, so it wasn't as though he would have much memory to compare it to, yet she had rarely cooked for anyone, so it made her worry that her cooking would not be up to parr. She followed his footsteps towards the table in the back. She could feel the eyes of students on her curiously; even she wasn't _that_ oblivious; even she had heard the murmuring when Bella had sat with Edward. She felt disgusted at what the students were saying, she could only hear a couple of things; side snickers to one another, giggling about what had happened in their missed class... so much for making them believe that there was nothing happening. Lucy quietly sat between Emmett and Jasper, feeling extremely uncomfortable. The discomfort was heightened a minute later when Edward and Bella arrived at the table, much to Rosalie's dismay.

"Lucy, this is Bella; Bella, this is," Edward paused tastefully, clearly unsure of what to say, Lucy frowned. She didn't know what he was going to explain her as. A neighborhood freak that decided to join them? Someone that Jasper had known?

"I'm Lucy, Jasper and I met in Texas before the Cullens adopted him." Lucy smiled politely, putting a hand out to shake the girl's hand. Her fingers were slightly clammy.

"Hello." Bella said, her voice was quiet, and sweet. It sounded as timid as she had expected it to. She turned to look at Edward. "I didn't know Jasper was from Texas."

"Yes, it was quite a surprise to find him here." Lucy said; she knew that Bella had known that the Cullens were all vampires, though she was unsure of how much of Jaspers past she knew, particularly his age. She could see what Edward had found attractive about her; up close she was much more striking than at a distance. There was a slight distinction to her face that made you not want to look away, to study it until you could tell quite what it was. Her skin was nearly translucent it was so pale, her eyes the warmest shade of browns, and her hair the darkest brown, yet still not black. She bit her lip as she looked deeply in thought for something. Lucy looked curiously, glancing back to Edward, but he was watching Jasper cautiously. She glanced from Bella to see the blonde boy, he was taking a bite of food. Bella seemed extremely confused to see this.

"Why is he eating? Is he wearing contacts?" Bella spoke quietly, though even Lucy could hear her. Jasper chewed the food slowly, before glancing down to Lucy, who hadn't touched her food.

"This is delicious, Lucy. Thank you. Though I feel guilty for having taken your lunch." Jasper frowned kindly at her. She grinned broadly.

"Nonsense. I eat food like this everyday. I only hope that it does not make you too ill." She said, frowning at the worry of what would happen once he turned back. It was the unknown that brought fear to her. The realization that while the other man had survived, she could have just sentenced him to death, that her suppositions could have been entirely wrong, her purpose here was not to help him with his blood lust.

"Calm down, Lucy. If Jasper starts to get sick, we will watch after him." Edward was the one to speak, causing Lucy to glance up from the plate of food in front of Jasper that she had been staring at while he ate eagerly. Suddenly she understood the strange, one sided conversations that Edward had held with everyone. They were talking to him in their mind. He seemed to smile, causing her to frown. He knew what she was thinking about.

_'Is he okay? Does he seem to feel ill? You don't think I have set him up for death, do you?'_ she thought quickly, her brows puckered in fears. She hated the sensation that she had suddenly sentenced him to death.

"Jasper, can you tell Lucy that you're not going to die, _again_? She worries more than Esme." Edward smirked. Lucy folded her arms across her chest at the boy.

"Your cooking is delicious, and I feel fine." He told her, setting the fork down lightly, dabbing his face politely with a napkin. Even in a cafeteria his manners were impeccable; the idea that farmers were untamed was clearly incorrect. She had known her cooking was fine, that wasn't what worried her.

"I was not worried about the cooking." She responded dryly, taking a bottle of water from her bag and drinking it with a frown. The previous excitement she had felt was currently nonexistent as she worried over the fact that she very well may have killed him. She felt sick to her stomach.

"I don't see him dying, he still has things to do." Alice said with a reassuring smile, though it did little to comfort Lucy as she felt an overwhelming desire to throw up.

"I'm going home." Lucy stood up quickly, grabbing her tray with a disgusted expression as the smell of pizza entered her nose.

"Is she going to be okay?" Lucy heard Bella ask; she had to laugh slightly. The girl, while quite obviously a complete clutz that was drawn to trouble, was much more observant than Lucy had ever been. The smell of food was overwhelming, and it made her nausea unbearable. Before she was able to say anything to the rest of the Cullen family she ran out the back door, thankful for the fresh air.

"She's feeling a little sick." Edward told Bella; Lucy groaned as the door shut, closing out the noise, and the smell. She leant against the wall; she had been a fool not to think that it would make her ill; she had spent two days asleep the last time she had been bitten; yet for some reason she had assumed that because she felt all right after it had happened that she would be all right. The cool spring breeze felt nice on her face. The door opened slowly, the loudness was deafening.

"Would you like a ride home?" she heard Jasper ask, his voice concerned as his footsteps neared her. She opened her eyes, everything was bright, and slightly blurry.

"That would be wonderful, thank you." She straightened herself up with a frown, taking a deep breath as she willed the world to straighten itself, to stop spinning wildly at every movement of her head.

"Thank you for doing that; though Emmett could have gotten me out safely." He told her as they walked slowly towards the parking lot. "You should not have risked your safety like that."

"I'll get used to it eventually." She said, holding the railing as she walked slowly with her bag thrown over her shoulder somewhat lackadaisically. She could practically hear him frowning as he sighed exasperatedly, grabbing her bag and holding it over his shoulder effortlessly. "Thank you."

"You shouldn't _have_ to. I should have had better control." He told her firmly, though she suspected it was more to himself than to her. Emmett wouldn't have stopped him. He was quicker; she could notice that much. He would have at least gotten to a few people before the others had been able to show up and stop him; and then it would have been impossible for them to stay at the school.

"I am supposed to." She said quietly, her eyes watching each step as her foot came crashing towards the ground. She didn't feel like she had had to walk this far the last time, so this might have been an improvement. Perhaps after her tenth bite she would be perfectly normal and adjusted to the feeling. This was what she was supposed to do, this was what she had been 'made' for. Madam Leveau had seen the future, and Jasper needed her to help him function normally in society; to go without notice. She was not meant to heal those that were ill; she was meant to keep monsters from killing innocent people.

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**A/N**: _So I lied and this chapter doesn't really have a lot of Alice in it, and we have yet to find out what's going on with her. I haven't started the next chapter, though sometime soon I promise there will be a 'girl' scene where we see more of Bella, and Alice. In the next chapter Jasper finds out what is in his new trunk, Lucy meets Alice' mystery boy, and the field trip to Port Townsend Victorian Days (which is actually a real thing.)_

_Let me know what you think. Thank you to everyone for reviewing/favoriting/putting this story on your alert list. (Giggaloop, Actress.4life., Reviewer1719, Briony 97, Foam Weber, GoddessVampAngel, SailingAwaySoftly, Cookies321, ..Jewel, Kombishiva, Midnight Writer Shadrach, Mystic-Raven999,Twerdy-91, firllyingbythesea901, sakurablossom142, wittyBYnature, MiDoRixOx, Ms. Wish, SirDidimus, aquakim, Becki2810, danny0112358, filmgrl13, geeklover988, and stare at string.) It really makes my day. :D Thank you!_


	11. Chapter 11: Juicebox

**Chapter Eleven****: Juicebox**

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_Old time grudges  
__Will die so slowly  
__I know you miss the  
__Way I saw you  
__And cold  
__You're so cold_

_The Strokes - Juicebox_

* * *

The rain was pounding against everything beneath it as Jasper was finally allowed to return to his room. He had spent nearly five hours in Carlisle's study. He was poked, prodded, and questioned the entire time. It had taken three hours for it to fully wear off. Carlisle had tried everything from food, to medications, to water, to alcohol. He had even done something Jasper had not expected, in insisting on him seeing how well he would bruise; if he could hold his breath under water; if the blood would rush to his head if he stood upside down for a long amount of time, and any other obscure test he could think of.

The change back started by an overwhelming feeling of being cold; a tingling in his feet as though they were threatening to fall asleep. It was a strange sensation, much like he would have envisioned walking outside in to the cold without any clothes on; it hit him harsh. His blood slowed. It wasn't the burning of being bitten, it was a stranger sensation. It was _her_ blood weaning out of his system. It had worn thin, and the circulation was slowly killing it out with the venom. It had taken an hour for it to completely finish pumping out of his system. The needles no longer poked through his skin, the heart stopped beating... it wasn't the painful sensation he had expected or worried... it was more like an absence... like a ghost town that everyone had left suddenly. His body was Pompeii and the vampirism was his volcano that had spread ash violently over the town.

He had spent forty five minutes throwing up food from the day. There had been certain traits of being human that had not returned, and a working digestive system was one of them. The venom did partially digest the food in his stomach, though it had not been able to be disposed of anywhere. Carlisle had advised him against eating food the next time; though as he sat in his room, he hoped it would never come to that. He hated the thought that he had bit her. She had _asked_ him to. He had been weak enough to actually bite her; she had sacrificed herself to protect the other students from him. He had said that Emmett could have pulled him away, but even Emmett had known that Jasper was nearly ready to break away when Lucy had approached them. She had baited herself, knowing that he would attack her. He couldn't believe how foolish she had been, even if she had known that she wouldn't die, she had still given herself over to him. He wouldn't be able to look her in the eyes again; he would feel ashamed every time he even thought of her. He had lost control, and attacked her.

Carlisle was currently watching over her the floor above him. She had passed out in the car and refused to awake. Her breathing was steady, and Carlisle said that her vitals were good; but she was in a very deep sleep. Jasper hated himself for it.

The large trunk she had given him sat unopened against a large bookshelf in his room. Moving from the window he cautiously opened it, curious to see what was inside. A quick scent of magnolias greeted his nose as he opened it. A strong scent that instantly reminded him of his mother; he hadn't expected that. Suddenly a softer scent almost danced towards him, teasing his nose. It was softer, and sweeter. He recognized it immediately as belonging to Lucy. The first thing he found was a small wooden box.

There were intricate engravings on the box; he didn't recognize it, though he had recognized the trunk as his mothers. Carefully opening the box that was obviously old he felt a pang of remembrance. The faded grey of his old uniform. Pulling it out he saw that it had been washed, the holes repaired, and small medals that he hadn't been aware of receiving were pinned neatly on the lapel. It smelled thickly of Lucy; he grimaced with guilt as he picked off a long waving black hair from it. Beneath it he saw a crisp, new uniform that had undoubtedly been made for him. His fingers traced it gently, he curiously saw a small yellowed envelope inside. Pulling it out he read the front.

'_Major Jasper Whitlock.'_ the writing was not Lucy's, but his mothers, yet the paper looked finer than any paper he'd ever seen her use. Gently breaking the wax seal he pulled out a small letter. His mothers soft perfume had faded, and was overridden by the fragrant smell of the small girl who had plagued his thoughts. His mother's handwriting was much less refined than Lucy's as she had not written much on the farm.

_'My Darling Jasper,_

_It has been nearly three years since I have last seen your face. I fear that we have lost you in battle, though I hope greatly that this is not true. You have written me no letters, and I have heard no news of you beyond the contact from the Army for you disappearing. I was not expecting to meet such a wonderful woman as Miss Lucy when I rode to Galveston to collect your belongings. I was worried when I first saw her. she was unlike any girl from our farm._

_But the moment she heard I was your mother, she took me in as though I had been her own. She is a good girl, and more beautiful than any of the girls in Houston. She says that you were only friends, but I know better._

_I hope you come home soon, Jasper. If not for me, then for this beautiful young woman who needs you. You deserve a good woman like her. I have given her my wedding dress and it has been sized to fit her. She is like the daughter your father was never able to give me, and if you hurt her, I will be very disappointed in you. I will do everything within my power to ensure that you find one another._

_I love you, Son._

_Mother._'

He held his breath as he thought of his mothers words. She had always wanted a daughter, but Jasper had been her only successful child born. She had five children die during childbirth, or soon after, and two that were miss carried. She had called Jasper her miracle son that saved her from depression. Many of his friends had arranged to be wed to girls in their farming town, though she had insisted that none of them were good enough for her child. He had never felt compelled towards any of them, so he hadn't minded. He had feared that she would find a girl for him while he was at war. Many men had expected that, hoping that their mother and father would find a suitable girl to marry upon their discharge.

Yet his mother _had_ done that. With Lucy. Small, delicate Lucy. She had done everything within her power to ensure that Lucy, her ideal daughter, was available to marry him... Suddenly Lucy's story made a great deal more sense to him. His mother, and her maid, had taken her to New Orleans, where a voodoo queen would literally curse her in to living forever. Not because they intended to make her suffer, but because his mother had been so stubborn and self assured that she was certain she would be with him.

A dry laugh escaped his lips as he folded the letter back in to the envelope, folding his jacket and moving the box. He found a great many things looking up at him, though he pulled a picture frame that was face down over a blanket, and his mothers wedding dress. The frame was an old wood that would have fit in well at his fathers house. He wondered what Lucy's home had looked like for a moment before he glanced at the picture. There, in the old sepia toned colors of a photograph from that time, was Lucy. Staring out from behind the glass as though she were no different from how she now were. He knew immediately when the picture had been from.

She stood in front of a grand piano, sitting beautifully in a room that was obviously much more extravagent than any home he had owned. Fine paintings and crystal could be seen in the background. Her hands rested on her hip, the sleeves of his dirty and stiff jacket pushed up slightly. Her dress was filthy with mud at the bottom, and her skin seemed a shade darker than usual with dust from the roads. Her hair was in frizzy curls, though her bonnet lay discarded on the piano besides her. The corners of her lips were turned down stoically. It had been when she arrived home from their journey. He couldn't believe his eyes as he looked at it, she had taken a picture of herself, at her worst. She looked vulnerable; he hadn't taken her seriously when she had said that he was her hope that night at the campfire... but she hadn't been joking; she had been serious about it. Even if she hadn't been interested in him romantically, she had enjoyed his company... she wanted him to survive the war, when everyone else around her had died... yet he had disappeared.

His mothers wedding dress smelled exactly like he remembered his mother smelling. He gently pulled it out, it was over 200 years old, yet Lucy had clearly taken pristine care of it. The silk was a soft creamy white with light embroidery around the trim. He was certain he had seen photographs at some point, though he couldn't remember his mother very well. He was able to know that the box smelled of her, and he was able to identify certain things, yet he couldn't say what she had looked like, or what she had been like. The dress was very plain for a wedding dress; it would hardly have looked like a wedding dress in comparison to the dresses that Lucy had worn on a daily basis in her youth. His mothers attachment to the dress stuck out in his mind as he held it up. There was a light beading on the top, and a ribbon beneath the bust; it was a very typical dress for the time period. She had sewn it by hand, and spent all of her money that she had stashed for years to purchase the materials. The dress had been the most expensive thing the family had owned, and was kept under lock and key. For his mother to size the dress, but also wish for her to wear it, was strange. His mother had loved this girl, and had no doubts that she and him would have gotten married after the war.

The rest of the box had been placed with such care, it served as a crash course on his past, but it wasn't until he found a small book that had fallen down the side that he stopped his rummaging. Everything he had found was placed gently on the bed; everything was at least 150 years old, most of it over 200. Yet they had been cared for so well that it looked as though some of them were new. The book was old, the corners of it were slightly frayed. Unlike most of the box, it smelled of cedar, and the soft fruity fragrance of Lucy.

_'Dearest Jasper,_

_If you are reading this, that means that your mother and I have found you. I have kept this diary so that you may remember what is in the box, and so that you may perhaps know what your mother and I have gone through. _

_Lucy Merriweather.'_

Jasper frowned, his breath hitched in his chest as he flipped the page cautiously. She had filled the pages with her neat script, it was dated, and written in elaborately. All of the way until the end of the book.

_'2 of September, 1863._

_Dearest Jasper, Today we have left Galveston to search for you. The military is uninterested in assisting us to search for you. Your mother is certain that you have not died. I should like to hope that you are alive. The town finds it foolish for me to leave, the idea of leaving in the midst of a civil war is dangerous. Dead bodies litter the roads in the wilderness, it pains my heart. I hope against all in this world that you are not one of them somewhere. We have searched every face, hoping for a trace of you, yet there has been nothing. We are still yet in Texas, I will not lose hope yet, nor will your mother. Please stay alive, for your mother. She needs you._

_Sincerely, Lucy.'_

He frowned, quickly reading over pages, each page read the same. Explaining the weather, the dead bodies, the wounded soldiers that they've encountered wandering aimlessly in the wilderness that had been left for dead... each day she begged more profusely for him to be alive. With each page it seemed as though she had grown more attached to him, without his even having been there. It stopped at the last page.

_'Jasper Darling, I fear that you have died. Your mother is ill, she'll not make it the week. We are in New Orleans today; we've stayed here for two weeks with Marietta's family. My sickness has gone away, though your mother has gotten worse. She has the shakes, and an uncontrollable fever. She is violently ill, and there is nothing that we can do but try to make her comfortable. She's got chill bumps, and claims to be freezing. Elizabeth is much the mother I had always hoped for, she is nothing like my mother was. I am beginning to fear that I am cursed, for all that come near me die. Madam Leveau claims that you are still alive, your mother fervently believes her, though I do believe I will give up the search. I will put this book in to the trunk with the remainder of the things that your mother wishes for you to have, and I will carry it with me when I move. I promised her that I would keep it should I find you, and I will. I hope that you have found peace, wherever you have gone._

_Love, Lucy._'

The page was smeared in spots, more so than any other page. She had been crying while writing it. She had given up finding him, yet she would still carry the trunk everywhere with her, for 150 years she had kept her promise to his mother, even though she had thought he was dead. Having read her diary from the time when she had searched for him, he understood why his mother had taken to her, and why everyone had taken to her.

"Jasper?" A soft voice at the door spoke. His head shot up from the book to see Esme standing there, her face was full of compassion. "Don't be angry with yourself."

"I lost control, Esme."Jasper told her firmly. He hated himself for it, he couldn't stand that he had proven once more to his family that he was the weakest link. Emmett hadn't gone chasing after the bloody boy, none of the others needed to be pulled away, to be lured from it by a willing victim. And then, he realized that he couldn't hear her heart beat the floor above; her soft breathing was no longer there. Fear clutched at his chest. He hadn't been able to smell her regardless, perhaps that was part of the reason they had put her a floor above him; scents rose, and they didn't trust him with her. His family didn't trust him, and he had only proven them correct. The one key to his past, and he had killed her.

"Relax, son. She's shopping with Alice. They didn't want to bother you." Esme said warmly. "What is all of this?"

"Lucy gave it to me, it was from my mother." Jasper said, Esme's eyes softened instantly as she looked to it, her fingers gently grazing the fabric on the dress. She had won yet another person over.

"That was very kind of her." Esme said quietly as she looked at everything on the bed.

"Yes, it was." He said, a bit more harshly than he had intended. She won everyone over; she was kind, and warm hearted. She made everyone love her with her sweet nature. Her and Esme would have gotten along perfectly; he doubted she had ever truly had anyone dislike her. She was willing to sacrifice her happiness for the well being of others, and he had attacked her,

"I will always be here for you if you need to talk." Esme said, sensing that he wanted to be alone. Esme would love him regardless of what he had done, she would forgive him anything, her love was unconditional. The harder he looked, the more similarities he saw between their personalities.

* * *

Lucy awoke early enough to prepare for school, she felt much better after sleeping all day. Despite this, she didn't _want_ to go to school. She could practically hear the gossip in her mind as she drove. She wanted to ask Jasper if he was all right, but when walking past his room she could feel guilt and anger radiating out. He was alive, and was back to projecting his emotions on to everyone around him so she supposed he was well enough.

"Lucy! You have to tell me what is going on!" Sam practically tackled the small dark haired girl as she got out of her car. Lucy forced a smile. She had no idea what to say, or how she had suddenly become close enough to the boy to disappear for an entire period with, and then leave during lunch together.

"What is happening with you and Jasper? You can't tell me nothing." Sam said firmly as Lucy pulled her books from her bag. She glanced up to see the Cullens arriving, they had come in separate cars, as usual. Edward picked Bella up every morning, while Rosalie drove the rest of the family in her small convertible. It could barely fit four people, let alone five, so she hadn't pushed to ride with them... but Jasper wasn't there today.

"I've just been getting really sick ever since the accident, I think it messed with my immune system or something." Lucy said off handedly. "Dr. Cullen insisted that I stay with his family, they've got the hugest house you'd ever see, and they already have an army of teenagers, so what's one more?"

"So you're living with the Cullens?" She asked brightly. "You finally admit to it!"

"It's not that big of a deal. I've just been really sick. I didn't want anyone to make a big deal out of it... but I wasn't feeling very well yesterday, so Jasper offered to take me back." Lucy explained, coming up quickly with an explanation. She hated lying, but there was no way to survive without it.

"Oh, is it serious?" Sam looked worried. Lucy felt bad for lying, this girl now thought that she was seriously ill and dying. "Are you going to get better?"

"I should be fine in a week or so. It's probably just a cold or something. But you know how I am, I refuse to miss school." Lucy said with a grin. So there was a string of truth in her lie; she did hate missing school. Yet she wasn't sick in the sense that she was explaining.

"Okay! My parents won't let me go shopping with you, but my cousin is going to college in Olympia, and I think I could get him to come up for prom." Sam said with a frown.

"That's too bad, I really wanted to go shopping with you. Though Alice has been pestering me about it, so she'll be happy to hear that she can go with me." Lucy said offhandedly, offering a small smile as they made their way in to the building. "Tell me about your cousin."

"His name is Chris. He's tall, with shaggy blonde hair. He plays soccer a lot, and he's majoring in art." Sam said casually, pulling a picture out of her pocket that she had clearly been holding in anticipation for showing her friend. "I sent him your picture, and he said he would love to go with you."

"I see." Lucy said slowly as she took a hold of the picture, glancing over it. The boy was good looking, he had very bold features, very obviously Ukrainian, or some eastern European decent, much like Sam. His eyes were a hazel green and his brows darker than his hair, though she suspected it was naturally that way. He had boyish good looks, but he wasn't Jasper. She could feel a pit in her stomach at the thought. Jasper was nothing short of beautiful, this boy was merely average in his good looks at best. Though in the back of her mind she had to remind herself that he wasn't the same person she had known back then; he wasn't the boy that his mother had built up. The man that had replayed in her memory was not him. Jasper was a vampire, a man who had spent over a hundred years killing things to survive. He had been married, and had eaten humans.

"What do you think? You look upset." Sam said, her voice cautious.

"No, he's great. I would love it if he came with me. When can I meet him?" Lucy said putting on her best smile. The boy looked nice, it would be good to act like a normal teenager. She could go to a dance, pretend to be normal, and not have to bother Jasper. "Can he dance?"

"He's related to me." Sam said brightly, taking the picture as she tucked it in to her bag. Lucy raised an eyebrow at this, prepared to say a snide comment. "He can, stop thinking that, you jerk."

"What?" Lucy said, feigning innocence as Sam laughed.

"He's coming in to town on Friday afternoon after classes. We're going out to dinner if you'd like to come." Sam said brightly. Lucy thought about it, that was only a few days away.

"Are you sure your family would be all right with that? Aren't they still upset with me?" She asked her friend precariously as she walked towards her statistics class.

"They know it's not your fault, they just don't want me going anywhere in a car." Sam said with contempt.

"All right, I'll see you next period. Thanks for doing this." Lucy said, putting on a smile; she could hear the whispers following her towards class. Talking with Sam had muted them a bit, yet she kept hearing bits and pieces about her and Jasper. US History would be hell.

* * *

Despite her thoughts about the day going harshly, the day passed relatively easily. Though Lucy had to thank Sam for a large part of that, she had very loudly talked about how Lucy would be going out with her cousin, and how sick she had been. Mentioning that the gossip quickly changed to talking about her cousin, and what was wrong with the girl. Walking out to her car Alice stopped her.

"Luce, I don't think Jasper is ready to see you. Let's go shopping." Alice said brightly, latching arms with the girl as they made their way towards her car. Lucy nodded with confusion as Alice grabbed her keys and was quickly starting the car before Lucy stepped in.

"He's not ready to see me? What are you talking about?" Lucy said as she shut her door. She watched Alice with a confused expression while latching her seatbelt.

"He needs some time to think. He feels bad for yesterday." Alice said to Lucy, her tone was bright, and friendly. She and Alice had gotten along well enough, though they had rarely spent time alone together; Lucy felt slightly awkward with their silence. She wasn't sure what to say to the shorter girl; she wanted to be friendly, yet she didn't want to talk about Jasper, or Alice's friend... and she didn't want to bother her with talking about school.

"Why would he feel bad? I told him it wouldn't harm me. It's the whole reason for my existence." Lucy scoffed; it sounded much more absurd when she said it aloud... that her existence was so that she could save him from killing people; but she thought that was it, she firmly believed it.

"The reason for your existence? Why would that he the reason for your existence?" Alice asked her with a slight laugh, as though it were as ridiculous as it sounded.

"I can't really explain it, but I just have this feeling... there's a reason for everything, I can honestly say that I think there is a reason for this." Lucy said, she felt self conscious at the idea of explaining _why_ it made sense. Yet Alice seemed to not quite understand how she had explained it. "I was _created_, if you will, so that I would live as long as Jasper. She had foreseen our futures before he had become a vampire, and upon meeting me, she _made_ me immortal. She made it so that I could survive against the odds."

"Doesn't it seem a bit strange to you that I knew Jasper when we were both _normal_, and that we somehow end up in the same town at the same time, both going to high school... Strange that the one person who can make you feel more human, and set off the thirst, with a group of vampires that try to blend in with humans, and Jasper has the worst thirst of all of you." Lucy explained, deciding that it made no sense to hold it back. She was certain that Edward had already heard her thoughts, so there was no point in keeping them from Alice. She didn't like keeping secrets from her friends, and Alice wanted to be her friend. "It probably sounds ridiculous, but it just seems too much to simply be coincidence."

"I don't think Jasper will see it that way." Alice said softly after a few minutes had passed. They were driving faster than her car had ever gone before; though it wasn't as though either of them could die, so they didn't have much to lose. It was a strange feeling to understand something that has been a source of confusion for a century... particularly when it had revolved primarily around a single man. Yet, as much as she enjoyed being near him, she feared it. Sitting in the car with him had felt as though electricity had sparked in the air; it was nothing short of breath taking to be so near to him. Yet the realization that the whole reason for her existence had been because of him... Madam Leveau had thought that she and Jasper would spend eternity together. She had known him three days as a human before this decision had been made, and while she had seen him at school for three years, she hadn't known him that well. Even now, he seemed to avoid her like the plague 80% of the time. He was more temperamental than a teenage girl; not that she hadn't understood why, yet it didn't make it any more enjoyable for her to experience. One moment he was entirely compassionate and kind, as though he _was_ that man that she had known... and then the very next second, without even a blink of the eye and he was suddenly a stand offish jerk that wanted nothing to do with her; he couldn't stand to be near her, yet he didn't want anyone else near her either. She wasn't sure what to do about him, so she would just pretend nothing had happened.

"He feels like a monster for it... He thinks that you'll hate him." Alice told her after another moment had passed. Lucy had to laugh at the thought.

"I don't think I _could_ hate him." Lucy said quietly as she glanced out the window. She wasn't sure where the thought had come from, but it was how she had felt. She didn't hate people very well, she was the type to give innumerable chances. She couldn't even hold a grudge... yet she knew that there was something different about Jasper that made it especially true. Even if she had been irate with him, it would only have lasted so long as she did not look to him. The moment she looked to him, her entire resolve would break, as it did with everything. He was her drug, and so long as she could see him, smell him, feel the electricity that his cold skin seemed to conduct... she couldn't think of anything but him.

"That's how I feel about Nick." Alice smiled softly as she continued driving. "You haven't met him yet, have you?"

"No, I haven't." Lucy said, thankful for the change of subject. "What is he like? How did you meet?"

"Has Jasper told you about he and I?" Alice asked suddenly, Lucy grimaced as the subject returned back to Jasper. She had hoped to not think about him for at least a few moments.

"No, he won't say anything about you; though Emmett said that you and Jasper were supposed to be together." Lucy said curiously, she had always wondered what had happened between Alice and her two men. She hadn't heard the man's name, though she presumed that was who Nick was.

"I was bit when I was twenty years old, and have little memory of my mortal life... though one of my first visions was of the Cullens, and Jasper. I had seen him and knew that we would be great friends, and that we would seek out a family that would teach us how to be better... How not to be monsters. I searched for years looking for him; I had seen a vision of us meeting in a diner. I went to every diner I could find, hoping to see him, or at least recognize the diner." Alice began quietly, her voice loud enough to hear, though just barely. "While on my journeys I met Nick. We traveled for a few months looking, though he had a coven of his own that he needed to return to, so we parted ways. I always knew that Jasper and I weren't mates, though we tried to make it work."

"Why would you try to make it work?" Lucy asked her curiously, she couldn't imagine trying to make a romance work if you knew it wasn't meant to last.

"Forever is a long time to spend alone. Jasper and I got along greatly, we were very close friends. Romance was natural to have occurred." Alice said slowly. "We weren't strong enough to fight it, we both needed the closeness that if gave us. We had been alone for so long... we had both been weak, and lost. We gave one another that form of connection."

"I see." Lucy said quietly. She didn't really understand it, and it made her feel slightly resentful. She had spent over 150 years alone, yet she hadn't accepted anyone romantically. She had fought against it; she didn't want that closeness, that weakness. Of course, Alice knew what she was, she had known that Jasper was a vampire, and that they would live forever, while Lucy had never met anyone who would live as long as her, she had never met someone quite like her... but it seemed horribly weak to have given in.

"Jasper had always wanted to believe that we were meant to be mates, he refused to believe my visions that we would one day part. But when I had the vision of Nick returning, I couldn't do it anymore." Alice said, her voice sounded almost shameful. "I hated myself for it, for leaving him so broken hearted, but he knew it was coming. Jasper is great... but being with Nick is indescribable."

"Jasper is practical, and reliable... but with Nick... I can't think of anything but him, looking at him it's as though the rest of the world disappears. I look at him and I know... I couldn't spend a day without him." Alice told her. Lucy wanted to be upset over her and Jasper's relationship; they had been married for 50 years, and they hadn't even been _meant_ for one another. It had always been weird to see the two of them together; Alice was the bright, energetic, pixie like girl, while Jasper was tall, quiet, and strange in an entirely different way.

"I could see the future; I was able to warn him when he would attack someone, we would keep him home from school if something seemed too risky. In return, he helped to keep my moods steady. We helped one another; but with Nick we don't have to help one another; I don't have to worry constantly if he is going to snap at someone." Alice said, Lucy could hear the unease in her tone. The family hated to talk about Jaspers control, it was like a dirty secret that they protected like royal jewels. They doted upon him like a small child, liable to attack at any moment. It made her blood boil to think about them looking at him so lowly, yet she had seen him, he wasn't the strongest member of the family.

"I thought he would hate me forever, but then we moved here." Alice said as they drove speedily on the high way towards Port Angeles. "He always had a strange fixation on you; we all thought he was drawn to your blood, so we were surprised when he didn't attack. It wasn't an obsession, or anything of that nature, but he had never bothered to notice humans before. None of us understood why, not even him. You should have seen his face after you corrected him on a fact from the civil war."

"Was he very livid with me?" She asked curiously; she knew that had he corrected her, she would have been angry and bitter.

"No, he was shocked. All of us were, though most of us found it entertaining that he had finally met someone who knew more than him about it. It's not something that he would admit to, but he was like an infatuated child with you. You gave him an escape from the family; we were all so worried about your safety. It was almost a relief when we found out you were immortal; we had been so afraid that he would get too close to you and attack; that was why he always brought Emmett when he visited you." Alice explained. Lucy was shocked, she hadn't thought that Jasper had been interested in her at all, she particularly hadn't thought that he had been fixated on her for the couple of years he had lived there.

"Here I thought it was because Emmett found my strange sayings and human ways amusing." Lucy said with a cheeky grin. It took the seriousness off of the situation, though her stomach had all but dropped away, the black hole that now replaced it seemed to be eating up all hope at thinking of something else.

"Well Emmett certainly didn't mind visiting you; Edward won't let him near Bella, and since Jasper wasn't about to stake a territorial claim on you, he was free to have his fun." Alice laughed as her eyes shined with mirth. "Emmett has always had great restraint, so we didn't worry as much about his being close to you, though I think Jasper may have been jealous of your closeness; he doesn't think he could ever have that level of closeness with someone that has blood in their system."

"Well I suppose when I said I wanted a guy to want me, I never thought to specify how I wanted it." Lucy said with a noncommittal shrug.

"Do you take any of this seriously?" Alice asked as the car stopped in a parking lot. They had arrived there quicker than she had expected. The corner of Alice's lips were curved upwards delicately. "You seem to make jokes a lot, doesn't any of this effect you?"

"It takes quite a bit to bother me." Lucy said as she took off her seat belt. "When you woke up alone, you said you spent three years completely alone, searching for Jasper. You couldn't stand the feeling of being alone."

"Now, imagine that rather than being a few years, it has been 140 years. Only instead of being able to see that there are other people like you, you're left to think that you are completely alone." Lucy continued as she pulled her purse out of her backpack. "It is nearly impossible to form lasting relationships with people when you know that they will die, while you will live on. To be so much like them, yet, so different."

"Didn't you want to try finding people like you?" Alice asked her softly as they walked away from the car towards a department store. The ground was a pale grey as it hadn't rained yet that day, though the clouds in the sky were a soft grey, and the air was damp with moisture.

"I look like everyone else, I smell and sound like everyone else. How was I to find people like me?" Lucy responded darkly, walking through the opened door. Living was lonely; she tried to befriend people, she always had... yet that hadn't made the pain of losing them easy. She had convinced herself that the pain was worth it, yet after a century and a half of it, she had been growing tired of it... but now she had the Cullen family. Not even accounting in Jasper it was amazing; she had fallen in love with the family instantly.

"What kind of dress do you want?" Alice asked her curiously, changing the subject casually as they entered the store. Brightly colored displays and fragrant perfumes bombarded Lucy's senses as they made their way towards the formal section.

"I don't know; something modest, but nice." Lucy said with a shrug. Shopping for formals had never been something she had cared for. She enjoyed dressing up, and looking nice... but shopping for clothes had become a hassle; it grew tiresome. Trends changed so quickly that it seemed silly to buy new clothes constantly. Within five minutes of fingering through dresses Alice had found a pile of dresses that she deemed suitable.

"Alice," Lucy began, eyeing the pile warily.

"These are for you to try on. Let's go!" Alice said eagerly, ushering the slightly taller girl in to the dressing room with the mound of dresses.

Nearly two hours had passed as Lucy stood confined in the dressing room. For every dress that she discarded Alice brought three new ones. She was beginning to think that Alice had carried a magical purse with an endless supply of ugly dresses. There were big dresses, small dresses, dark ones, light ones, loose ones, and tight ones. If she liked one, Alice didn't; if Alice liked one, she didn't. She was willing to accept that she was more prudish than most women in the 21st century, yet she didn't think wearing a low cut dress that fell to her thighs was the way to break the habit.

"This one is it!" Alice proclaimed brightly. Lucy groaned, awaiting the next mass of dresses; she was certain that she had tried on every single dress that was even near her size in the entire store.

"Will it at least cover my bottom?" Lucy asked, pushing open the door slightly as she wore a bright olive green dress that clung to her top tightly, yet the bottom looked as though someone had torn it haphazardly, dipping it in different colors of dyes.

"Trust me, this is it." Alice said firmly, pushing a long white gown in to the room. It was a nice georgette silk like material, and was very greek styled; it had a low cut neck, and a lack of a back, with large gold ribbons under the bust and as trim. Deep gold silk straps crossed over the back, holding the strategically cut material in place. It was one of the better ones that Alice had brought for her to try on. Eagerly she slipped out of the ugly green dress, unzipping the white dress and slipping it on.

"Alice, I am not getting married." Lucy shook her head as she zipped up the dress. The deep, low cut V in the front felt much more revealing than Lucy was comfortable with, though it was much better than the other dresses Alice had liked. It actually fit her quite well; surprisingly well for a store bought dress.

"Let me see!" Alice demanded. Lucy pulled the door open and walked over to the large mirrors to see the sides. "This is the one, Lucy. You can't not get it."

"Alice, it's too white." Lucy said, shaking her head. It was an unspoken rule that you never wear white to prom. Though she had to admit, she did like the dress... so long as she ignored the fact that the back fell lower than half of her pants rose.

"No, it's fine. Other girls will be wearing more white. You will look breath taking." Alice said, smiling broadly as she watched Lucy. "Go get changed, we'll go find you something to eat."

"Okay." Lucy obliged, entering the dressing room to change back in to her regular clothes. It had seemed many of her clothes were mysteriously disappearing; or rather that someone seemed to be a magical wizard and was transforming her clothes in to something else. She had a feeling it was Alice and Esme trying to be sneaky, though she didn't mind it much. She had little sentimental attachment to her clothes.

* * *

Lucy had showered the previous night before bed, and Esme had helped her put her hair in to rag curls. It had taken three hours to get it entirely done due to her hair refusing to cooperate. Yet now, she stood in the middle of her bedroom, holding an old wooden box that was nearly a third of her size. Inside she fingered the delicate silk material of the dress, a pale blue brocade, with cream colored trim. Gently she pulled the heavy gown on to her bed, finally pulling out a camisole, pantaloons, and her corset. The pantaloons and camisole were first; she hadn't worn this set in years. For the past two years she had went to the Victorian Days celebration with Sam to get her extra credit, though they hadn't usually dressed up... yet Sam had a D in the class, and Mrs. Gripling would raise it to a C if they both dressed up. The constricting cream fabric was much more difficult to lace up than she remembered. She slipped it around, fastening the busk, but she hadn't been able to lace it herself. Holding it up to her chest with the laces trailing behind her she pulled the door open.

"Esme! I need help lacing up!" Lucy called out loudly as she walked down the hall. Emmett peeked out from his room, his curly hair moving slightly as he looked at her before he fell to the ground with laughter. She saw her reflection in a picture on the wall, her hair was in rag curls still, and she was holding a corset up to her chest.

"Come on, Lucy." Esme said with a gentle laugh as she and Lucy returned to the girls room. "Ignore Emmett."

"I usually do." Lucy said loud enough for the boy to hear, snickering slightly as he scoffed. Esme shut her door behind her as they walked towards the center of the room.

"How tight do you want it?" Esme asked her cautiously, holding the laces.

"As tight as it will go." Lucy said firmly. She hadn't worn one in years, but it couldn't have been that bad; she used to sleep in these things.

Esme looked apprehensive, but began pulling it gently shut tighter. Lucy felt the air rush out of her lungs as she tightened it a bit more. Esme stopped slowly.

"It's fine, keep going." Lucy said as she took a light breath, she had forgotten the sensation of not having any air. It took 20 seconds for Esme to lace it up all of the way and have it tied. Lucy glanced in the mirror as Esme began untying her petticoat hoop skirt, she put her arms up as Esme slipped it over her head.

"Thank you for all of your help, Esme." Lucy smiled appreciatively. She never could have dressed herself in so many layers.

"It is my pleasure, dear." Esme said with compassion shining in her eyes, Lucy knew that Esme loved doing things like this; dressing up her children, and acting like a real mother would. It took them about five minutes to get the rest of the gown situated, her tall black boots tied up.

"Sit while I do your hair." Esme said politely, Lucy nodded, sitting in a small chair that Esme had brought in the previous night to do her hair. Another twenty minutes later and she had finished. Standing up Lucy was shocked at her appearance. She shouldn't have been shocked, but she hadn't seen the person in the mirror for many years, she had nearly forgotten who she was.

"_Hurry up! We're going to be late to Victorian Days!_" Emmett's loud voice came floating up towards their ears. Lucy laughed, pulling a parasol from the bed.

"I'll be right down." Esme smiled kindly, disappearing out the door as Lucy walked slowly down the hall towards the stairs. She had two levels of stairs to go down, and she wasn't quite used to wearing the corset yet.

"Are you coming?" Emmett yelled impatiently. Lucy shook her head as she walked down the second story hall towards the stairs. She frowned at the top of the stairs.

"Are you going to be like this all weekend?" She asked, a slender hand placed firmly on her hip as she glanced down to him with a cocked eyebrow.

"Have fun." Rosalie snickered. Lucy grimaced at that thought, walking down the stairs as she held the railing. Rosalie and her got along a bit better when she realized that she wasn't going to expose their secret, and could actually _help_ them; but she wasn't exactly a close friend. Another part of the reason that they had become complacent with one another was that Rosalie no longer seemed to think that she was interested in Emmett in the slightest. Once she accepted that, she had pushed the large man on to her whenever he annoyed her.

"What are you wearing?" She couldn't contain her giggles as she looked to Emmett. The large man had been changed in the 30's, he had never truly experienced Victorian living... and he was wearing a tall top hat, a dark blue jacket with long tails, and skinny, long tan colored pants, a bright red waist coat, with a creamy white shirt that had more ruffles than an Elizabethan neckline. He looked like an old fashioned man from the 19th century that was going to the opera; a fancy white scarf hung over his jacket.

"Esme and I wanted to fit in." Emmett said proudly, puffing his chest out like a proud male primate. She and Rosalie laughed at this as Lucy found herself standing on the floor. Emmett towered a foot and a half taller than her as she looked up to him with her arms folded. "I've been practicing my waltz just in case."

"Just in case?" She coughed out, trying to conceal her laughter. "Just in case what?"

"Oh you know... In case we have to dance or anything." Emmett shrugged, though his casual tone was betrayed as his eyes seemed to sparkle brighter than she'd ever seen before. She knew then that something horrible was going to happen this weekend. Alice must have seen something; there would be a reason for her and Emmett to waltz. She dreaded dancing with Emmett; he would kill her.

"Great." She grumbled, unable to hide her discontent with the idea of dancing with Emmett.

"Oh Emmett! You look so great!" Esme cried out proudly as she hugged the large boy. She had dressed the part of a matronly Victorian woman, Lucy felt a pang of sadness at the reminder of her own mother. She was beyond mourning it, yet she still missed having her own mother... but Esme was like her mother now, and it was a role that Esme had more than wanted.

"Think we'll be the best dressed?" Emmett asked as he adjusted the lapel of his jacket with pride as Esme stepped away. Lucy couldn't help but smile as she looked to the two of them; they _looked_ like a family. Emmett was the obnoxious older brother, and she was the sardonic little sister that felt embarrassed for him.

"All of you are going?" Lucy's eyes shot up as Jasper stood at the top of the stairs, eyeing them all curiously. She quietly hoped that he might look to her, but he never did. His eyes seemed to glance right over her, as though she were nothing more than a spot on the wall.

"I thought it would be fun for to keep Lucy company." Esme said as she put her cold arm around the smaller girl. She sensed the discomfort that Lucy felt towards Jasper. She wasn't sure how it had happened, but while her relationship with the entire family seemed to grow more cemented every passing minute, he seemed to have stronger distaste for her every time he was forced to be in the same vicinity as her. The first week it had been painful, she had thought that maybe she had done something wrong, but now she was resentful for it. She had done nothing to warrant this behavior. She had _helped_ him, and he was too proud to accept her help. Rather than thank her for saving the school from a blood bath, he ignored her and treated her horribly.

"Come on, guys. We're going to be late, and it's rather boring to sit here." Lucy said putting on a bright smile. "Are you sure you don't want to come, Rose? Maybe convince Emmett not to come?"

"Have fun." Rosalie laughed, her bright, musical laughter.

* * *

**A/N:**_I am so sorry this took so long. My grandfather has been in the hospital, and I sort of lost track of where I was going with it. I initially hadn't wanted Jasper to bite her so soon, but it just sort of happened. I like where it's going now, though.I also would like to apologize for any stupid mistakes in here, I tend to overlook them when I'm trying to proof it. If you find any, or if you know someone(are someone) who would be interested in beta'ing I would love you absolutely.  
_

_This chapter is sort of a filler chapter. The next one will have the actual Victorian Days celebrations, We'll find out more about Lucy's prom date, and we'll get more about why Jasper is being such a jerk... maybe. We'll see. :)_

_Let me know what you think, and thank you to everyone for being so patient and for reviewing so kindly. I'd like to respond to the reviews, but I've been totally swamped with everything else, but from now on, I'll be much more responsive, I promise. :D_


	12. Chapter 12: Little Green Bag

**Chapter Twelve:**** Little Green Bag**

* * *

_Got to find just the kind or I'm losin' my mind,  
__Alright.  
__Lookin' for some happiness  
__But there is only loneliness to find._

_George Baker - Little Green Bag_

* * *

The sun was peaking angrily out from behind the clouds as Lucy stepped out in to the street. Esme had checked them in to the hotel while Emmett took their suitcases to the rooms. Emmett held the parasol over the two of them, gloves covering his fingers to protect against any accidents.

"Are you sure this will be all right?" Lucy asked cautiously as she fanned herself with a small hand fan. She wondered how she had managed to live in Texas dressing like this; she had walked fifty miles in the sun wearing clothes like this, it made no sense. The heat made her feel as though she would pass out from heat stroke.

"It should be fine so long as I hold the parasol." Emmett told her politely as they walked towards the meeting place. His arm was laced in hers theatrically. She had to laugh at his act. The houses all towered above them, in a dainty Victorian style that she hadn't seen recently. The whole town looked like a page from a history book with the exception of the modern roads, and electricity lines.

"All right." She said with a nod as she saw a group of students waiting outside of a statue in downtown.

"Lucy! Emmett! You guys look amazing!" the bouncing figure of Sam cried out, running towards them. Lucy had dropped off a dress for her the night before, it wasn't as tight fitting as Lucy's, though it still gave the impression of an authentic Victorian dress. A large bustle stuck out on her back, and the black and white vertical stripes made her look taller.

"Thank you! So do you!" Lucy said, pulling away from Emmett as she hugged her friend. They both wore short sleeve party dresses, though Sam's was more of an elliptical style skirt, while Lucy's was more of an earlier Victorian style. She noticed that Sam's parents were dressed regularly, and looking somewhat distastefully towards Lucy.

"Where's your mom?" Sam asked with slight confusion as she looked up to Emmett.

"She got a little car sick on the drive and is staying in the hotel this morning." Emmett said effortlessly. A larger group of five students with Mrs. Gripling appeared from behind a corner coming towards the group that had already congregated. There were only fifteen students that had come; it was a little over half of the class. Jessica and Tyler were standing towards the back with the teacher, frowning as they looked around. The brown haired girl was not dressed in costume, rather she was wearing a cute, and little, green dress, with heels. Not conducive to walking around town in, and she looked extremely cold. Her eyes narrowed as she saw Emmett and Lucy standing side by side. Lucy turned to Emmett when she saw Jessica lean in, her wild brown hair blowing in the wind as she said something to Tyler.

"What's she saying?" Lucy said quietly enough that only Emmett would have heard it. He smirked as he looked up to the two that stood on the other side of the student group.

"She's disappointed that Jasper isn't here, and she's upset that you and I seem very close." Emmett whispered as he knelt down to tell her so that no one else would overhear. She could see the brunette go red with frustration at watching them. "I think that she and Tyler were hoping you and Jasper would have come together, and that they could split you up."

"Jasper and I aren't even on speaking terms!" She laughed out lightly, shaking her head; the tight ringlets on the sides of her heads danced with each movement. "She can _have_ him."

"Really? You're not interested in him at all?" Emmett asked her with a quirked brow as the teacher began marking off on roll call who was there.

"Please don't tell me that the whole reason you came was to bother me about Jasper." Lucy groaned as her green eyes followed the teacher.

"No, though I am sort of curious as to how long the two of you are going to pretend to hate one another." Emmett said with amusement.

"I think he would be the one to ask for that. It's hardly my job to put up with his mood swings." Lucy said stubbornly, folding her arms across her chest as she held her fan up.

"I always thought his mood swings were endearing." Emmett mused dreamily, causing the corners of her lips to turn up with a laugh.

"If you think he's so dreamy, why don't you ditch Rose for him?" Lucy raised an eyebrow as the teacher spoke with Sam's parents.

"I'm not his type, I'm not short with dark hair." Emmett snickered at her, though the words struck at a thought she hadn't wanted. Both she and Alice were short, tiny even; both had black hair, and were a bit more ostentatious than most people. No one would have doubted that she and Alice were sisters; facially they weren't the same at all, but physically they were very similar... what if Jasper had only been interested in her friendship because she was like Alice?

"That's too bad." Lucy said crisply, no longer feeling at all in a good mood. It felt as though she had come to a huge epiphany, the realization that he had never truly been interested in her... her dreams had been in vain, she truly was nothing more than a rebound. That was why he ignored her now, and why he had never tried to have anything out of her... he hadn't truly liked her at all.

"Lu-" Emmett began, looking almost worriedly to the girl as she stared determinedly towards the teacher who was now approaching them.

"Your mother called me and said that she wasn't feeling well. I hope that she is able to come to dinner this evening." Mrs. Gripling said politely to the two 'teens' as she handed them papers explaining what they would be doing that day. "The two of you look very nice, it is a pleasure to see such enthusiastic students."

"Of course. We love history." Emmett said with a bright smile, causing the old teacher to blush before she walked away briskly.

"That's not exactly fair." Lucy retorted with a scoff.

"Can you honestly tell me what is going on with you and my brother? I know he is being a jerk, but do you actually like him?" Emmett asked, putting his gloved hands on her shoulders to firmly hold her in to position so that she couldn't run away. She set her jaw, debating what to say.

"No, I don't like him. I think that he is a complete Jonah." She said viciously. "If it weren't for him, I would have lived a perfectly normal existence."

"That's a little harsh, don't you think?" Emmett asked her, frowning as she began walking with the rest of the group.

"It's the truth." She said darkly, standing back a bit and following behind the group slowly. "I was _made_ this way because of him, if I had never met him, I would have had a completely normal life."

"Are you serious?" Emmett asked her, she groaned in annoyance.

"No, I am making all of this up, because I am as dramatic and emotional as _him_." She spat out sarcastically, her tone was quiet and bitter. "A voodoo queen in New Orleans thought that we were soul mates, so she made it so that I would live forever to be with him."

"Whoa. I didn't know that." Emmett said boldly, scratching his head as he looked at the people ahead of them. "So you're not interested in him at all? But, I've seen the way you guys look at one another, you are soul mates."

"Thank you for your input." She said stubbornly; she didn't want to hear about how she and Jasper were meant to be. She didn't want to hear about how great he was, or how much she should fawn over him. He was a jerk, he acted as though she were the plague, and she really didn't find that very attractive.

"If you and him don't get together, you could be alone forever. Do you want to spend forever alone?" Emmett asked her, sounding slightly concerned.

"I've spent my entire life alone, what's the rest of it? And I'm sure there are ways to die, I just haven't found them yet." She shrugged casually, smirking at the morbidity of what she had said. She had wondered if there were any ways to die; it was selfish, and wrong... but if she had lived so long for the sole purpose of being with Jasper, maybe death was more desirable... she had lived twice as long as she should have, it wasn't as though she hadn't experienced a long life.

"Do you want to die?" He asked her, his eyes widened, making certain to keep his tone low. "Esme would kill you!"

"I don't know. I'm sort of bored with living." She said darkly, wishing her dress had pockets or something to put her hands in. "Dying might be fun."

"Edward won't be happy to hear that, and Alice won't like it either." Emmett said strongly, his disproval of it written clearly on his face.

"Can we just have fun this weekend and not talk about Jasper?" Lucy said harshly as they turned the corner, a lot of people had gathered waiting for something.

"Of course." Emmett said with a slight laugh.

* * *

Lucy sighed as she fell back against the bed in her hotel room; it was 5 in the afternoon, and they had walked around the town all day. The hot sun pouring against them viciously. The hotel was air conditioned, and the bed was soft. The corset had stopped bothering her, though wearing four layers of clothing hadn't made for ideal walking conditions. Her feet hurt, her head felt heavy, and she probably smelled like an entire basketball team.

"I think I'm going to back out of dinner." Lucy groaned, her eyes closing as she reached her leg up to take her shoes off, though she had forgotten that she was wearing a large hoop skirt that shot up over her head.

"Why don't you just get changed in to your pajamas? You can stay in for the night." Esme told her from the room adjoined to hers. It was a nice hotel that Esme had chosen. Of course, it was also the nicest one in town.

"That sounds like a great idea." Lucy said, begrudgingly standing up as she unlatched the front of her dress to take the bodice off. The skirt came off easily as she pulled it over her head. With a content sigh she untied the hoop skirt, and began undoing the busk of the corset. It wasn't that it had reduced her size that much, but being so constricted became tiring. Sitting on the bed she pulled her shoes off, leaving her clothes in a pile on the floor. Before she had had both of her shoes off Esme had picked up her clothes and set a nightgown on the bed.

Saturday morning was foggy beyond all belief as Lucy stood groggily in her hotel room. She could hear Emmett and Esme playing video games, or something like that. With a quiet sigh she entered the bathroom and took a quick shower; she would pile her hair in a bonnet for the day, curls were too high maintenance. Esme was already waiting for her in the room when she exited.

"Good morning." Lucy said cheerfully as she entered her room in a fresh camisole.

"Did you sleep well?" Esme asked, setting out her dress for the day on her now made bed.

"Yes, that bed is so plush. I've always loved hotel beds." Lucy admitted. Esme nodded quietly as the short dark haired girl stifled a yawn.

"We're going on a boat first thing in the morning, and then at 11 there is a fashion show, followed by tea. A band concert is at 3, and then dinner and the ball starts at 6." Esme explained to her as she pulled the corset on to the girl.

"I feel like a child again." Lucy grinned as Esme tightened the corset.

* * *

_"Ma, this hurts!" A small figure of a dark haired girl complained as she stood in a dressing room. A taller woman sat at the vanity, glancing up. Meanwhile, a dark skinned woman was pulling the ribbons from her white corset. The air was sucked from her lungs with each forceful pull._

_"It's the price of being a woman, dear." Her mother smiled cheerfully. Lucy frowned at it, she knew that her mother was proud. It was her first real corset; a sign of truly being a woman. She had turned 14 two weeks prior, and she had finally started menstruating. Something her mother had been proud beyond any belief. _

_"We'll find you a good husband in no time." Her mother said soothingly, as though it should comfort the girl. Yet, despite the fact that she should have enjoyed hearing this, she didn't __want__ to get married to some man. She wanted to become a nurse, she wanted to work._

_"No problem you'll have finding a man for her, pretty dame like her could get any man in town." Marietta said with care as she tied the tight corset._

_"Young Wilfred has shown great interest in you, I am sure he will waste no time in courting you." her mother smiled proudly. "You will be the most prosperous in all of Texas."_

_"Yes, Mother." Lucy said quietly, unable to talk with the corset restricting her airway. Wilfred was an attractive man, she had known him from childhood; he was 5 or 6 years older than her, and was currently serving in the army. He had occasionally sent her letters talking about how spectacular it was; he had met many great soldiers. He was climbing in ranks quickly, and was certain that he would be a major by the time he reached 25. He was a military man through and through._

_"You're such a beautiful woman." Her mother mused, smiling as she looked up from the vanity to look at her daughter._

* * *

Lucy glanced down to realize that she was now fully dressed, and Esme had even finished her hair. She had hardly realized anything was happen.

"You seem very deep in your thoughts." Esme commented gently as she finished pining the girls hair up.

"I was just remembering the first time I wore a real corset. I was 14." Lucy smiled politely in response. "My mother had been so excited that I was finally a woman, and that I would be soon married."

"You were supposed to be married?" Esme asked her. Lucy wondered if she should have simply given out a book about herself to everyone so that they wouldn't ask her for the facts of her life.

"I was engaged to a man once. He was a major in the United States army prior to the war... his family was wealthy. Before the war started my father wanted us to move to Europe, but Will was too proud to leave his country. He became a Colonel for the Confederates shortly after Texas seceded. It was supposed to be the perfect marriage." Lucy said darkly, shaking her head. "He was a good man."

"A colonel? How old was he? How old were you then?" Esme asked, furrowing her brows slightly. Lucy had to understand that it did sound a bit odd, she was only a teenager, and most ranking officers were in their late twenties to early forties.

"I was... 16 when we seceded, and I believe he was either 22 or 23 when he became Colonel. He was born in early 39. So he was about six and a half years older than I was." Lucy said thinking back to remember. She couldn't remember his exact birthday, though she knew it was early in the year. She hadn't honestly thought about Will's age in well over a century; somehow the memories she had of him made him seem younger. "Our wedding was going to be after the war ended."

"Did you get married?" Esme asked her curiously, she and Esme had never talked about their pasts.

"No. My mother died in January of '63, she had received illness earlier in the month after a battle in town between the Union and Confederate soldiers. We had been forced out of our house for five days in the middle of winter, and she contracted pneumonia. Will died on July 2nd of that year, and my father on the 3rd. 1863 was a very memorable year. I haven't been back to Texas since then." Lucy said quietly, holding her arms to her chest. She had lost everyone that year. Yet, she had met Jasper that year... a month after she had lost everyone left to her. She put on a smile.

"I'm so sorry. I can't imagine having lost everyone in one year." Esme said kindly, wrapping her arms around the smaller girl. "That must have been horrible."

"It didn't really hit me until Jasper disappeared." Lucy said with a dry laugh as she glanced back out the window, the fog was slowly lifting, though it still clung to the air. Esme was waiting patiently for her to continue speaking; she had already changed in to a modest dress for the day. "Jasper was the first person I really talked to about anything; It's hard to explain, but there was something about him that made you want to be near him, he was comforting. Just being around him made you feel like everything would be okay. It gave me a feeling that maybe everything wasn't crazy, and that I had over reacted to think that the war was so harsh."

"And then he disappeared days after I had met him." Lucy said after a brief pause, sighing as she held her hands on her waist. "I didn't want to believe it. He was a string of hope that I had clung to, if for nothing more, than because I thought that if he survived it, maybe everyone else would come back... maybe everything wasn't horrible... The thought that maybe I could befriend someone without them dying." She sighed. "But he was gone. It was the final straw that made me realize everyone else was dead, and that I was completely alone in the world. No one wanted to be a woman alone in the 1800's."

"Were you in love with him? Jasper." Esme asked her softly. Lucy didn't turn back from the window as she thought about it.

From the images that she had been given she knew that they _could_ have been in love, and she had no doubt felt a chemistry with the man... but she didn't think it was love. It was attachment; attraction perhaps... but not love.

"I loved him no more than I did anyone else I had met... though I think we were very similar; we wanted the war to be over, we hated seeing all of the death and destruction. We had both spent so long trying to make everyone else calm and collected. It was nice to finally meet someone else who had tried so hard to do that." Lucy spoke slowly, allowing the words to form in her mind as she spoke them. "When two seemingly selfless people get together, it's almost impossible for them not to get along."

"That is how I feel about Carlisle and I." Esme said warmly. Lucy didn't want to hear yet another person telling her something like this. "Have you thought about-"

"Don't bother, Esme. She'll just get angry and storm off again. She hates talking about him." Emmett's voice carried through from the other room, it was slightly amused. Esme glanced to her with a soft frown.

"He's too dramatic, and he acts as though I'm a teenager. He treats the lot of you as though you're older and more mature than I am; I am older than all of you. I know what I am doing, and I really don't care to put up with his childish behavior." Lucy said firmly, grabbing her fan and parasol, as well as a small pouch that served as her purse.

"He doesn't want to hurt you, Lucy." Esme said in a quiet tone. Lucy scoffed at the woman.

"I am over 160 years old, Esme. I've fallen from tall buildings, out of boats in the middle of the ocean, I've been shot, gotten in car accidents, and been hit by trains." Lucy told her sardonically, smirking at the look of surprise on the woman's expression. "I think it is safe to say that I'm not exactly dying or disappearing."

"But you get injured." Esme said in confusion.

"And I heal." Lucy shrugged, pushing the doors open in to the other room. "I'm not strong, or graceful; I may not run fast, I bleed, and my bones can break with enough force... but I am practically as indestructible as you guys are... but unlike you, I can sleep, and I am immune to your venom. You can bite me all you want, I'll survive. You can tear my body to pieces, and supposing I have all the pieces, I would assume I could be pieced back together. I don't really see how he is going to 'hurt' me. I mean, if he attacks me a lot I may be exceptionally tired, but I wouldn't die. I'd just sleep a lot."

Emmett began snickering from his spot on the couch as he lounged back, playing a video game. She didn't understand why he lounged back so lazily, it felt no different to him than standing, or so he had told her... _I want to look the part._ He had told her one day, trying to convince her that he only played video games because it fit the part of being a teenager.

"I'm sure he'd-" Emmett began suggestively.

"I did not mean it like that. You're despicable." Lucy sneered in disgust. Her day was already off to a poor start. She had woken with a sense of foreboding, that it was going to be dismal overall, and it had yet to prove her wrong.

The day had, overall, continued downhill when it rained on their boat ride, causing her four layers to cling to her uncomfortable. On their way to the fashion show Alice had called them to say that the sun would come out by noon; leaving Emmett and Esme to disappear to the hotel. _Food poisoning from breakfast._ They had told everyone as Lucy was left to be with Sam and her family. By the time tea had finished, Lucy all but ran to her hotel. It was suddenly hot, and muggy... her clothes were stiff from the rain water that had now dried; her hair was entirely frazzled, and her stomach hurt.

The hotel room was empty when Lucy entered. She hadn't necessarily expected them to wait around, though she had almost hoped for the interaction... yet it felt nice to be alone. It was a feeling she hadn't experienced since living with the Cullens. Being so suffocated with closeness was something she had enjoyed, but she missed having her own space. She smiled to herself as she entered the oversized bathroom to prepare a bath.

She pulled out a nightgown and decided she would take a short nap before the ball that night. She didn't particularly want to go, but they would be going home Sunday morning, so she only had one more night of dressing up. One more night and she could be done with the 1800's. The grand gown that she had worn formed a large pile in the corner of the bathroom, and she sighed contentedly as she sunk in to the large, hot bathtub.

It wasn't a long bath, but it was just what she needed to relax her tense muscles. She practically floated in to her bed, and was certain that when she awoke, she would hardly remember having left the bath; she would clean everything up later.

* * *

Esme and Emmett had returned back to the house in Forks while the sun was shining; Alice said that it should be safe for them to go to the ball, but that it wasn't going to let up before then. Emmett and Jasper were wrestling, while Alice and Rosalie watched from the garage with amusement. It was nearly four thirty in the afternoon, and Emmett and Esme would soon be leaving.

Suddenly, however, Alice froze in her spot, her eyes wide. The wrestling men glanced up to her curiously.

"What'd you see, Alice?" Jasper asked her worriedly. She seemed to be quite worried and perplexed by the vision.

"Emmett, do you know where Lucy should be?" Alice asked Emmett slowly, her eyes slightly unfocused as though she were having a difficult time truly understanding what she had seen.

"She's probably at the park with Sam and her parents watching the band. She was excited to hear an authentic styled Tuba band again." Emmett said as he stood up, dusting off his clothes. "Why? Did you have a vision about her?"

"No, I can't see her in my visions. I had a vision of you and Esme _losing_ her." Alice said, confused. "You should go back now, I think she's gone."

"She can't go that far." Emmett said with a laugh, rolling his eyes as he grabbed his phone from a bench in the garage and pulling it out. "I'll call her and see what's up."

"She's not answering. She's probably just busy with the band and can't hear it." Emmett rationalized, shaking his head. "She's a human, even if she's run away somewhere we'll be able to find her. I don't think she really wants to leave us, she likes us all too much."

"I'm going to go tell Esme. You can stay here." Alice said harshly, disappearing in to the house.

* * *

The hotel lobby smelled like vampires. Alice glanced to Nick, and her family cautiously as they made their way towards the room.

"What if she's not there?" Alice asked Esme softly. Lucy had quickly become a part of the family, she was one of them now. Esme had even planned a room for her in the next house when they moved; she would be as good as a vampire in their mind.

"We'll find her, Alice." Nick said firmly, his larger fingers lacing with hers. He wasn't as tall as her brothers, nor was he as fast... but he was perfect for her. The way his hair sat smoothly he looked like a movie star from the 50's, his dashing good looks that anyone would have wanted. His voice was smooth and velvety, instantly calming her, though not being able to see the future was something she hadn't enjoyed. There could be trouble, and she wouldn't know; she couldn't warn anyone.

"Nick is right, we'll find her." Emmett said firmly as the smell of the vampire seemed to grow stronger as they neared the room. Alice knew that everyone had grown attached to her, even Rosalie, who acted as though she couldn't care less. The family entered the hotel room, looking around quickly, taking in any differences. Her phone sat on the floor, open as though she had haphazardly dropped it, perhaps having been shocked. The bed looked as though it had been slept in, her clothes from the day sat in a pile in the bathroom. The blinds were shut, as she hadn't wanted light in while she slept.

"She must have come back early to take a nap, the man was waiting for her." Nick said as he walked around the hotel room, sniffing the air cautiously. He was a tracker, and it gave Alice hope that the girl would be found. Images of Bella's disappearance filled her mind, the thought that she was in danger worried her. Lucy wasn't a strong beacon to danger like Bella had been, though she was still fragile to their kind.

"She took a bath, and then went to sleep. I doubt he even woke her when they left; he left through the window." Nick spoke surely as he opened the door on the balcony. He sniffed the air cautiously. "They went that way."

* * *

**A/N:** _Thank you to everyone who keeps reading this. The next chapter is about twice as long as this one. I'm debating splitting it up. We find out what happened to Lucy, we meet a couple of old faces, and the harsh air between Jasper and Lucy finally reaches a boiling point._

_Please,Please please review and let me know what you think, and if I should continue with it. :)  
_


	13. Chapter 13: Old Piano

**Chapter Thirteen****: Old Piano**

* * *

_What's that you're saying there oh well  
__rain rushing window pain  
__can't see what space i'm in oh well  
__but i'm safe inside me here oh well._

_Frou Frou - Old Piano_

* * *

It was dark when Lucy woke. She had been blindfolded, though she could hear the sound of a creek near by... she then realized that she heard a lot more than she should have. It was as though an amplifier had been placed in her ears, making everything much louder... A breeze brushed across her skin, though she felt confused as she couldn't truly feel it. Then she sat up quickly, jumping to her feet as she reached her hands up to her head. She couldn't feel anything. Her entire body felt numb, yet she was entirely aware of herself. A strong smell greeted her senses, it smelled both revolting and entirely delicious at once. It reminded her of a mushroom she had once smelled in a biology course that initially smelled of a delicious barbecue, though the after smell burned her nose and made her nauseous. Pulling the blindfold from her head harshly she looked around, smoke wafted to her nose, causing her to spin around.

Her eyes widened as she surveyed the scene before her. There were body parts strewn about a small clearing in the woods, and blood was everywhere. The moonlight glistened on the body parts, torn clothing littered the field. Glancing down with a gulp she saw that her hands were covered in dried blood, her skin glistening slightly in the pale light. Waves of confusion were overwhelming as she became somewhat frantic. She was a vampire, and she had just killed at least three people, as she saw three different legs. The fire was burning a deep purple, the smell putrid in her nose. Frantically she piled all of the pieces in to the flames, remembering once that fires killed vampires.

Running towards the stream she was shocked at her speed, wondering if this was how the vampires had felt. The river was softly babbling as she walked down to it. She gasped, clumps of blood had dried in her hair, giving it a stringy texture, while her skin was covered with stains of it smeared. Though the most shocking wasn't the blood that covered nearly every visible part of her body, but the shockingly red color of her eyes, though as she stared at it, she noticed it was fading. Jumping in quickly she decided she would rinse off, and then find a way to get home, the Cullens would help her. They would know what to do.

Footsteps began nearing as she felt her body getting warmer, though the water stung her skin; she was shocked, her heart seemed to begin thudding quietly in her chest, and she felt like throwing up. It was as though her heart had simply skipped a long beat, and now her body was warming up quickly. She felt as though she was on fire. Without realizing it she began vomiting violently.

"Oh no, our dear little Elixir of life is getting quite ill." A silky voice wove through the woods. Lucy's head shot up instantly, wiping the deep red liquid that had just exited her mouth from her chin. The metallic taste that filled her mouth tasted more repulsive than anything she had experienced before, the slightly acidic mixture to it from her stomach made it burn even worse. "You put on quite the show."

"Who are you?" She spoke, her voice was rough, her larynx burned from being raw. The acids were eating up the delicate skin lining her mouth and throat. A man appeared on the edge of the woods with a smirk; his skin was chalky with an odd olive hint to it. His hair was long, and a deep red. His eyes a shocking crimson. Glancing back down self-consciously she noted that her eyes were now an awkward mixture of green and red. She looked like a monster.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure you're safe." He said to her, his voice was smooth, and enticing. She splashed her face with water, but was stopped when he suddenly came out of nowhere, sweeping her out of the water. The trees blurred past, her vampiric abilities had disappeared as quickly as they had appeared. She gulped as the contents of her stomach once more threatened to spill. Her eyes tightened in an attempt to fight off the churning.

"What do you want from me?" She asked, fighting down the waves of nausea.

"I provide people with a service... there are many of our kind that want something like you." He told her with a grin; she didn't need to see his face to know that he was smirking at her. His malevolent expression as he held her firmly against his chest. "You give us a chance to be human again... though we never suspected that while we temporarily become human, you temporarily become one of us."

"I want to go home." She said stubbornly. She sounded like a sour five year old, but she didn't mind. She wanted to go home. She didn't know where she was, how long she had been there, or even how far from home she was. Location had never been a very important thing, but she had finally found a family, people that she could feel comfortable with, and now she was kidnapped in the middle of no where.

"You say that every time. But don't worry, you will forget all of this after your next snack; you always do." he laughed boldly at her. The thought made her stomach flip sickly, _'you'll forget all about this... you always do.'_ She could have been gone for months without having realized it. The last thing she remembered was going to sleep after a warm bath, and feeling slightly ill. What if they had drugged her? She had no recollection of anything, and it frightened her. Her memory had always served as a curse, though suddenly she wished that she had it more than ever before. Memories seemed to disappear with each frantic thought of what was going on. It may, or may not, have been due to her nerves, though logic had no place in her mind at that moment; she was frantically worried about what was going on.

"Sleep, my dear. We'll be there shortly." The man spoke softly in to her ear; she wanted to stay awake, to fight him... but something stronger seemed to lull her in to a deep sleep.

Lucy awoke to finding herself unceremoniously dropped on the ground. Her back hurt, and her muscles all felt stiff. Glancing around groggily she saw that the nameless man began a large fire.

"I like to start the fire for you, so that you can dispose of the bodies afterwards. You see, it's two birds with one stone; my enemies are killed, and you forget everything afterwards." The man chuckled to himself as he tore trees apart and tossed them in to the flames.

The small girl stood with her back flush against the tree, eyeing him cautiously. She didn't want to be bitten again, but she had no idea how many times she had been bitten before. Her eyes had never turned red before; she had never attacked anyone before. Her anger had increased slightly, she had been stronger at times... but she had never been vampire. It was a fearful thought, that she would become a vampire long enough to attack people, long enough to kill them while they were vulnerable. Not that they didn't deserve to die, they had, after all, bitten her first.

"I'll leave before you start. Wouldn't want to go and get myself killed." He said with a laugh. He was so casual about it, though his voice had cold undertones. He had made her in to his little pet. He knew little traits about her 'gift' that even she couldn't have suspected. "You seem to get faster each time. One of these days you may just become one of us."

Her eyes widened at the thought. She would hate becoming one of them, so she desperately tried to formulate a plan. She couldn't remember anything; even her memories of her life were becoming dim. It wasn't that she had forgotten everything, but she simply hadn't remembered it all. There were pieces missing, pieces that seemed to have faded like an old photograph that had been placed in the sun.

_Think of the Cullens as they bite you. Think about running home. Leave them human, ignore the blood, run._ She told herself angrily, hoping that it would work, hoping that she wouldn't pass out, that she wouldn't forget everything again.

_If you remember anything, remember to run home._ She chanted in her mind as he seemed content with the tall flames, nodding at it appreciatively before turning to her.

"It's a shame, you're quite good looking as one of us." The man tutted to himself before a few people came running through the woods. Her ears pricked to the sound of the ground crunching beneath their feet. It intrigued her to know that her hearing, while not nearly as crisp as it had been, was still quite a bit stronger than it had been before.

"Is this the child?" A woman's voice asked, curiosity peaked as she looked to her. The woman was small, and had long pale blonde hair. The woman was very pretty, and besides her stood a tall man that reminded her slightly of Jasper.

She eyed the pair cautiously as they neared her, her heart racing quickly with each step they took towards her. They moved at a gingerly human pace.

"How old are you, child?" The man spoke, his voice soft, his hair a pale blonde like the woman's.

"I am probably older than you." Lucy hissed angrily, not wishing to be bitten by any more curious vampires hoping to relive their human days.

"You look no older than 18." the man laughed musically; the two seemed much nicer than the strange man that had brought her there.

"I am over 160 years old." She said in a low tone, annoyed at everyone assuming she truly was as childish as she looked. While she may not have been acting entirely mature at that moment, she didn't feel it was necessary; she was having a bad day. Glancing around she realized that the man had disappeared, though no one else had appeared yet, and she couldn't hear anyone else approaching.

"Where are you from? Why are you here?" The woman asked her gently, her voice was a sparkling soprano. She was reminded greatly of Alice, though the woman was much less hyper than Alice.

"I am from Texas." She told them as she walked towards the fire, yearning for the heat as she shivered slightly from a night breeze. "But I lived in Forks... I think."

"Texas?" The man said quietly behind her, he sounded slightly surprised. She kept repeating facts of where she lived, where she was supposed to be going. She could see the image of her house, she could see Esme's warm, inviting face. Carlisle watching her curiously... their faces were imprinted in to her mind, their house stuck out... yet when it came to everything else, it was as though her memories had been scrambled up. "Forks?"

"Do you know the vampires in Forks?" The woman asked her tentatively, Even Lucy was able to pick up on a slight apprehension. Lucy felt her heart leap in the hope that they had known the Cullens, that they knew something more.

"The Cullens, yes. I live with them." Lucy said as she turned to look at them, trying her hardest to conceal what hope she had. "Do you know them?"

"We are close friends of Jasper's. Why are you this far east?" The man said curiously, confusion written plainly on his stony face.

"Where am I? What day is it?" She asked him, panic set in. He knew where she was, he knew where her family was. They could help her... yet they had come here to bite her. Jasper's friends had come to attack her... yet that man, had wanted her to kill them.

"You are-" The man began, but was interrupted as a large group of vampires entered the field. There were at least five of them, their eyes blazing red. She spun to look at them fearfully.

"You must be the amazing elixir of live. I must say, I have been hoping to get a taste of your blood since Romone first spoke of you." A tall man said, his accent leering as he neared the girl. He was shorter than Jasper's blonde friend, though he was much stockier. His hair was tousled, and he looked much more rugged than any of the Cullens.

"I will kill you if you bite me." She said to him smoothly, burying her fear in the hope that perhaps he would see reason and not bite her. Though it seemed unlikely as he began laughing.

"A pretty little thing like you?" The man laughed boldly as he stood less than a foot from her. Angrily she shoved him with all of his might. He fell back in an un-vampiric manor, tripping over a log behind his feet. He looked up in shock, and amusement as he stood; the others laughed on his behalf.

"That's okay, I like them feisty." He leered at her. She knew there was no hope in running; he would be faster than her.

_Think of home. The Cullen's. Forks. Home. Forks. Home. Forks._ She chanted to herself as the searing pain shot through her body. Everything blurred, though she tried her hardest to continue chanting in her mind, her eyes shut tightly as a warm tear slid down her cheek. She lost track of how many had bitten her; the pain numbed her body. Each bite sent a burning sensation through her body, followed by what felt like being immersed in icy cold water. Idly she suspected that this was how people felt when they were gang raped; each person jumping off quickly as the next took their place. Her stomach churned disgustedly at the wonder of how many nights she had done this; how many times she had truly been bit. She would never know.

_Home. Cullens. Forks. _She thought with determination. And then, as suddenly as the pain had numbed her body, it stopped. She realized then that she was no longer standing; she had fallen to the ground. It took only a moment to realize that it had happened. Everything had disappeared for a brief flash, and finally she awoke, glancing around. Her eyes were sharper, she could hear the quick beating hearts of those that had bit her, their loud voices as they spoke amongst one another.

"_Amazing_." The man who had bit her first spoke, his voice was much harsher than before, her throat burned in desire for his blood, to kill him as he had done to her.

_Home. Cullen's. Forks._ Her mind popped up quickly. She glanced around; noticing that Jasper's two friends were still pale, their hearts still silent in their cold chests. She glanced between them, and the figures of those that were now humans. A tall woman was feeling her body excitedly as she proclaimed how amazing it felt to be soft and warm, a man was looking around eagerly, entertained at the fact that he was no longer able to see and hear everything.

"Please help me go home." Lucy spoke quietly, her tone pleading as she looked to the two blonde vampires. She ignored the burning in her throat, not breathing, as she had remembered Edward once telling Jasper to do. They looked surprised at her.

"You are very strange." The woman spoke softly. "We will run, it is a two days run if we hurry. Can you run?"

"Until the venom wears out. I may pass out. I don't know. I forget everything." She said, trying to remember what she could about before she had been bitten... all she could remember was wanting to go home to the Cullens, their faces flashing in her mind like a beacon of hope. She knew she would forget everything, but she tried her hardest to remember that; and it was all she could remember. She felt hopeless with the knowledge that the only thing she would remember was that she couldn't remember anything.

"Run while you can." The man said to her. "We will carry you the rest of the way."

"Thank you." She said softly, watching as they pointed in to the distance to the west. The humans hadn't even heard them speaking. They ran quickly, away from the alluring scent of humans.

Being a vampire was amazing; she knew that she was a freak of nature, and the ill feeling that came told her that it wasn't something she should do frequently. The thought nearly made her laugh; the idea that someone would chose to get bitten regularly, as though it were a fun way to pass time. Her thoughts turned to wondering if she would be like a new born every time; if she would ever get used to it, if she would ever remember what had happened.

Everything seemed to meld together as she ran; she could see with great distinction as she followed the two vampires that she hadn't even formally met. The sun was beginning to rise before she even wondered how long she would be able to run for. She slowed down as the sun reached the sky; her skin was radiant, reflecting the light in every which direction as though she had embedded diamonds in to her skin. She had been accustomed to seeing her vampire family doing it, though it was an entirely strange concept to have herself like that.

"I need to eat." She said suddenly, it wasn't that her stomach was grumbling, or that her throat burned particularly strong... but she felt as though she were growing angrier with each passing moment. She needed to feed on something.

"There's a small town about a mile that way." The man said, glancing to the south a ways.

"I can't be around humans." Lucy said, her eyes widened at the thought of killing a human; she couldn't kill a person... but she was a vampire; yet, the Cullens didn't need to survive on humans. "Couldn't I eat an animal or something?"

"There isn't any large game around the area, though once we reach the mountains there may be some." The woman said casually. "Though I think I'd like something before she returns to her human state."

"Are you sure you wouldn't like a human? We can bring one back for you." The man said softly. It was tempting, part of her wanted nothing more than to eat a human; simply the thought was enticing... her mind registered that it was what her thirst wanted... but it also told her that eating people was not something that she should be doing. She would only throw it up later and the guilt would kill her.

"No, you can go, I will stay here and wait." She said quietly, fighting the inner urge to eat a human. She was probably the one person in the Cullen family that hadn't gotten the lecture on upholding the morals of not eating humans, and yet right now she had the strongest urge to.

Her senses were stronger than normal, and she was definitely exhibiting vampiric traits, though Lucy knew that the two had been running slower than they would have on their own. She slowed them down, and she knew that she was tiring. Sitting against a tree she mused as her skin sparkled in the sun; suddenly, however a fierce growling caught her attention. There was a single mountain lion, crouched and prepared to attack. With a fierce leap she jumped on to it, having no interest in fighting the animal. While she couldn't _remember_ how good a human tasted, she sensed it was much better than the animal beneath her. Though she felt her energy slightly restored, and within a minute the two blondes had returned.

"You got a snack." The woman smirked, her eyes seemed a brighter shade of red than before. Lucy cringed to herself, but tried to hide it from them. They were helping her, she didn't want to seem ungrateful.

"Yes." Lucy said dimly, words didn't seem to really explain what she was thinking. She wanted to go home, to Forks. With the Cullens... they were really the only thing she could consciously remember. Small bits and pieces came to her, though nothing fit together.

"We should go." The man said, the three nodded to one another before starting back westwards, following the woods towards mountains. "We want to pass over the mountains before you return to being human, otherwise you could catch a cold."

"I won't catch a cold. I'll be fine." Lucy told him with a laugh. "I am fairly indestructible for being human."

"All right." He said to her politely, bowing his head.

It wasn't until the sun started to set that she began feeling ill; her stomach churning, her head burning up. She wanted nothing more than to lay down. The two seemed to notice that she was slowing; her legs were beginning to burn from fatigue.

"I'll carry her to the mountains, and you can carry her the rest of the way." The man spoke to the woman quietly. Lucy yawned; The world was beginning to spin and grow darker with each passing second, and the light wind prickled against her skin.

It was cold when she awoke, the bright light nearly blinded her despite her eyes being shut. She was being held in someone's arms; she suspected it was the tall man. They were running, she could feel it, though her stomach was churning violently as the wind howled against her. A shiver coursed through her body involuntarily.

"We'll be through the mountains soon enough." The man spoke to her softly. She could hear the woman laugh lightly. The sounds were familiar, though she couldn't remember where she was going; where the two were leading her. Her mind gave her a brief, and blurred image of two blonde vampires, as though to tell her that they were the ones she was with; they were helping her. The movements were almost soothing, lulling her back in to an ill feeling of sleep.

When Lucy finally awoke she was wet, and cold. Glancing around, it seemed to be early in the morning, just before dawn. The smell of the forest was familiar. She had been set down on the ground, and the two vampires were talking quietly to one another. She was close to home, she could smell it.

"Unless we can find a vampire to bite you, we will have to walk the remainder of the way." The woman said as she glanced over to the girl. "We can try to run quickly, though you have a strange effect over our abilities."

"Okay." She sad daftly. The two were taking her somewhere, they were helping her with something. "What is going on?"

"You..." The woman trailed off, her frightening red eyes softening on the girl. "What do you remember?"

"You're helping me. They bit me. There was a fire. Are you taking me home?" She asked, trying to conceal her confusion; it was as though her mind had drawn a complete blank. She hated the emptiness that filled her mind.

"Yes, we are taking you home." The man said, glancing to the woman tentatively. "We should try to run, if anything, they will be alerted of our nearness and come to seek us."

"If that is what you think would be best." The woman spoke softly. Before Lucy could do anything she was hoisted on to the woman's back, and was riding piggy back through the woods at a fast pace. Images raced in to her mind, her heart beating rapidly at the hope of being home... away from the man. She couldn't even fully envision what he had looked like, only that it had been a man. His voice cut through her memories, icy and cold... sharp in it's callousness.

The movement stopped suddenly, causing her to glance up. Lucy's eyes widened as she looked to the large, welcoming vision of the Cullen's house. The blonde woman set her down warily, watching as Lucy steadied herself slightly. Her legs felt uneasy; she felt as though she couldn't even walk a few feet without her legs buckling beneath her. The woman seemed to understand, wrapping her arm around the girl; they were roughly the same size.

"Thank you." Lucy said with a sheepish smile; she had traveled hundreds of miles with these two, yet she didn't even know who they were. "I am Lucy."

"I am Charlotte, and this is Peter." The woman said softly, motioning towards the man that Lucy had assumed was her mate. "We are always willing to help out a friend of Jasper's."

"Jasper and I aren't exactly friendly." Lucy said slowly with apprehension, fearing what they would say, that they may have suddenly regretted having brought her there. Though the man just laughed.

"Jasper doesn't usually get very friendly with mortals... or in your case, people who have blood. His control isn't very strong." Peter laughed heartily, their feet made a soft squishing sound on the damp grass as they walked closer towards the house. The house was still a ways away, though she suspected that they were becoming more human with each passing moment. Their running had slowed before having stopped, and his cheeks seemed to hold a slight flush.

"We knew one another before we became immortal, so it's just sort of weird to be around one another now." She admitted to the two. There was no other way to truly describe it; she couldn't fully remember everything that had passed between the two, though she knew that he had not been happy with her before her disappearance. The sudden worry that perhaps the Cullens hadn't wanted her to come back set in, the fear that perhaps they had been behind it, they knew the nature of her condition more than anyone else.

They were still at least twenty feet from the house when the door swung open. A frantic brown haired woman darted out in a blur.

"Lucy!" Esme cried out, clutching the girl in to her arms. "You look so horrible! What happened to you?"

"You're squishing me." Lucy strangled out as Esme crushed her beneath her cold arms.

"Oh, Lucy." Esme said, pulling back as she ran her hand over Lucy's head, she froze, however, when she took in Lucy's face, as though she hadn't truly looked at the girl before this. _"Lucy."_

"We-" Alice began excitedly, running in a blur out to the lawn where they stood; she froze when she saw the small girl. Lucy bit back a look of shock as everyone looked at her as though she had somehow sprouted horns. "Oh, Lucy."

"We never should have left you alone." Esme said quickly, pulling the girl back to her chest.

"Where did you find her?" Esme asked softly, her hands running through Lucy's tangled mess of dark hair.

"Near the coast of Newfoundland. When she told us that she was from Forks we immediately thought about your family, and asked. She asked us to help her come home." Peter spoke, his voice smooth and gentle. Lucy didn't relax in Esme's arms; rather she felt herself growing anxious and worrisome as the woman seemed to be freaking out. Memories of her life flashed before her eyes, as though she hadn't truly forgotten any of them; though her short term memory seemed non existent.

"Are you hungry? When was the last time you ate?" Esme asked quickly as she pulled back. Lucy felt guilty for the pained look that Esme gave her when she looked at the girls face.

"I had a mountain lion a couple of days ago, and the night before that I think I had a few people." Lucy said, there was no point in hiding it. Esme's eyes went wide, and Alice gasped slightly. "To be quite honest, I don't remember much of anything. I found the dismembered bodies, I was covered in dried blood, and once I woke up I began vomiting it. How long have I been gone?"

"It's been almost two weeks." Esme said softly. Lucy wanted to choke, she had missed two weeks of school; it wasn't that she needed to go, but she had never missed that much school. She had only made it to about half of her classes the first two weeks back from spring break, and now she had missed two more. The thought flickered so quickly in her mind that she felt confused; Why was school so important to her?

"We told everyone that you crushed a lung in the car accident, and that you had contracted pneumonia." Alice told her, putting on a cheerful face, though even Lucy could see the falseness in it.

"Alice, why don't you help Lucy get cleaned up while I make her something to eat." Esme said in an authoritative voice. Lucy hated the feeling that everyone was suddenly taking pity on her, she was confused about it, but she didn't think it had been that bad.

"Okay." Alice said eagerly; before even able to protest Alice had scooped up the slightly larger girl and disappeared in to the house.

"I think I can walk fine, Alice." Lucy said as Alice opened the door to the house. Alice frowned down at her, but obliged to setting her on the porch, her arm around the girls waist. Lucy grimaced to herself as the door opened, revealing Emmett and Jasper, eager to see what was going on. Neither of them spoke, they both looked absolutely shocked, and taken back by her appearance. She glanced down at herself. Her nightgown had seen better days; it was torn up to her thigh in places, and had a few cuts in it, and was now a dark permanent shade of almost purple from the dirt, and had dark streaks of caked on brown blood. She was barefoot, and her arms had a few new scars on them from hitting trees, but she didn't look that bad.

"I am so sorry for leaving you." Emmett said quickly, in the most sincere tone that Lucy had heard him use before. He had wrapped her in to his arms much like he would an injured child.

"Emmett, I'm fine. I don't get why everyone is pitching such a fit over me." Lucy said sternly, pushing him back a bit.

"Have you seen yourself lately?" Emmett asked her as he looked down to her, concern in his golden eyes.

"Yes, in one of the many mirrors that are placed throughout the forests of North America, I stopped every chance I got to make sure that my hair looked pristine." Lucy said dryly. "Right after I sucked their blood, and threw their body in to the flames."

"I'm going to clean her up, you can bother her later." Alice said as she scooped the girl back up. Before Lucy could protest or complain she was now standing in the large bathroom.

Turning slowly after Alice had set her down, the small dark haired girl took the first opportunity to see her reflection. Her hair was matted, and poofy, small twigs and leaves sticking out at odd angles, dried blood was on her face. Her lips were dried, though they seemed dyed a permanent deep red. Her eyes were perhaps the most striking of all her; they still had hints of her normal golden green, though the strong shoots of red made them look nearly orange. Her body looked thinner than before, which worried her perhaps more than the red eyes. She had never lost weight before, yet she looked nothing short of gaunt, and as she felt the boniness of her arm she felt strange small bumps that she hadn't noticed before, looking closer in the mirror she gasped. Her arms, and her neck, and her chest were covered in tiny scars, scars that resembled teeth. She gulped slightly glancing to Alice.

"These..." She began, trailing off as she tried to feel on her back; her fingers traced the small bumps harshly, trying to feel any slight change in the surface of her skin. They littered her shoulders; they covered her body. Jumping down she began feeling at her legs; she found a couple, though it didn't seem nearly as bad as her upper body.

"They're from being bitten." Alice said softly, the door to the bathroom was shut. Lucy felt her legs shake uneasily and she slumped on the floor against a wall; she was hideous.

"I'm a monster." Lucy whispered in to her knees, burying her head in her folded arms. She smelled horribly, and her skin felt disgusting, but it matched how she looked. Her skin was not smooth, she had wanted to lose her girlish looks, but she hadn't wanted to replace them with this. She had endured wars with less impact than this.

"No you're not. You did nothing wrong." Alice said quickly, wrapping her cold arms around the smaller girl. Lucy clutched her arms to the smaller woman, sobbing in to her chest; the pressure from everything had finally reached a climax; she had taken enough.

"What have I done to deserve this?" Lucy said through the sniffles in to Alice's shoulder. "I did everything my mother asked. I devoted myself to helping others. I became a nurse, I served in the army. I did red cross. I was never selfish, and I never wanted anything more than to help people."

Lucy tried her best to contain her cries; she knew that everyone in the house would be able to hear her if she was loud, and she didn't want to look pathetic.

"Is this what all immortals are like? Selfish creatures that live on their own impulses and don't care for anyone but themselves?" Lucy pulled back, wiping her face with her hand, though it did nothing but smear the dirt, and it would irritate her eyes if the dirt got in there.

"No, not all immortals are like that. Do we seem like that?" Alice asked softly, soothingly running her hand through her hair. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up."

"Thank you, Alice." Lucy spoke quietly, ashamed of all that had happened. It had taken nearly fifteen minutes, but her crying had stopped. A gaping feeling filled her chest, a sinking sense of dread as she feared what was happening.

"You can take a bath later, though you should eat something first." Alice instructed, starting a shower.

"I think I can shower myself, Alice." Lucy put on a smirk as the girl frowned, Alice was testing the water with her fingers. "You can't even feel the temperature, it could very well scald my skin and you wouldn't know the difference."

"I can tell the difference." Alice said as she looked to the slightly taller girl with a raised eyebrow. While Lucy had once been larger than Alice in both height and stature, she now looked skinnier than the tiny girl. It was unnatural.

"Barely." Lucy scoffed, putting her fingers under the tap; it was much too cold feeling. She turned the cold down, and the hot up.

"I'll get you clothes." Alice said with a sad smile before disappearing.

The once blue night gown was practically pasted to her skin, it stung as she peeled it off. The dirt seemed to be tattooed on to her skin, outlining where the dress had fallen. The water was hot, and it stung her aching body. For nearly ten minutes she stood under the faucet, allowing the water to simply hit her body. Though when she heard the door shut once more she decided to wash her hair and get finished. With an unladylike grunt she tried to pull the clumps from her hair. It was impossible to get all of the strange objects from her hair. She had everything from dirt, to leaves, to rocks, to a strange metal trinket that she would save as a memoir of her horrible adventure that she couldn't remember. It wouldn't have surprised her if a small animal had taken up residence, though she was almost disappointed when her hair began washing clear and nothing more came out. Casually stepping out she jumped back in to the shower door when she saw Alice waiting patiently on the toilet, holding a towel.

"Alice! You frightened me!" Lucy exclaimed, reaching for the towel with a frown, holding one arm up to maintain a fake sense of modesty.

"I bet I could count all of your bones." Alice said with wide eyes as one of her cold fingers touched her rib cage. Lucy jumped back further before pulling the towel.

"Do you mind?" Lucy said, shaking her head with a slight laugh. It was amusing to see the girl touch her skin with such intrigue, though she really wanted to get dressed, and act as though nothing had happened. The thought was impossible, and she knew it wasn't going to happen, yet she still secretly wished for it... rather, she wished that it hadn't happened at all.

"I'm supposed to look for any more bites." Alice instructed. Lucy groaned as she wrapped a towel around her mass of hair. She frowned, placing a hand on her hip as she stood naked in the center of the bathroom.

"This is horribly embarrassing, you know?" Lucy frowned, raising an eyebrow as the girl walked around her like an inspector. "Can I get dressed, or would you like to invite the rest of the family in to look?"

"Don't be cross, we've all been very worried about you." Alice said, handing her another towel. "Did it hurt? What was it like?"

"I don't remember much, and everything that I do is a blur. I lost an entire week somehow. I'm still trying to remember everything about my past; it's the most bazaar feeling." Lucy admitted as she began dressing. Alice had brought her a pair of jeans, and a turtleneck. She was thankful for something that would cover all of her skin; she didn't want the scars to be visible to everyone.

"It's as though every memory from my entire life has been thrown in to a hat, and then they shook it up, and when I remember something, it's as though I take a random memory from the hat and I have absolutely no context, no meaning behind it. I know that I wanted to come home to everyone, but I couldn't remember who exactly you were to me. I didn't even know I was in school until I saw everyone on the lawn." Lucy said with a slight laugh at how ridiculous she sounded, with a sigh she pulled her hair in to a sloppy pony tail, unwilling to deal with it at that moment. She quickly began running her rocks and silvery trinket under the sink, cleaning them up as Alice waited by the door.

"That's really strange. Maybe Carlisle will know how to help." Alice offered, watching her. Lucy held the silver object up; after the dirt had been cleaned off she realized that it was a ring; it looked old, and very dirty. She collected the small handful and walked out with Alice.

"Lucy! Peter and Charlotte told us about what has been happening to you. I am so sorry we weren't there to protect you." Esme said quickly, attaching herself once more to the girl.

"It's no big deal, Esme. I'm still alive. I told you I was good at surviving." Lucy said as she put on a brave smile, awkwardly returning the embrace. Esme let go of the small girl as she glanced over her. Lucy smiled somewhat placidly, setting her handful of junk on the counter besides a large plate of food that she suspected was for her. Emmett and Rosalie were sitting in the living room near by, while Jasper, Peter, and Charlotte were sitting at the table. Nick was sitting on a stool at the counter, and Alice was sitting besides him.

"What is that?" Esme picked up the rock in confusion.

"Things I found in my hair." Lucy said putting on her best cheeky grin as she looked to the woman. "I was disappointed that there weren't any small animals in there. I had hoped for at least a bird with the way it looked."

"This is pretty." Esme commented as she began looking at the ring, she walked towards the kitchen sink and was washing it gently.

"I thought so. I should wander in the wilderness more often, I find all sorts of strange things." She said, bending over the food. It looked delicious, but the smell made her nauseous. It smelled absolutely unpalatable.

"Does it smell bad? I can make something else!" Esme said eagerly, setting the ring on the counter as she hovered over her plate.

"No, it's fine." Lucy put on a smile as she put a fork full of eggs in her mouth. She smiled as she chewed, but not even Esme was fooled as she practically gagged when the food went down her throat. A look of pure guilt washed over her face; she blamed herself for this. Esme felt as though she had been a horrible mother, as though she had failed.

"You don't like them, I-" Esme began, pulling the plate away.

"It's fine, Esme." Lucy said, holding the plate firmly before the woman could pull it away. Her eyes looked slightly shocked at the force she had used to hold it. "I'm just not very hungry, my body isn't used to having human food."

Lucy had meant it to lighten the woman's mood, though it nearly sent her in to hysterics, latching herself once more to the girl. Part of her was annoyed at it, yet another part of her thrived on the closeness... the attachment that this woman had felt towards her. When everything else had been completely ruined, Esme was still there, loving unconditionally. She was proof that not everyone was a monster, not everyone wanted to kill her.

"I think she may want some space, Esme." Alice spoke calmly. Esme began pulling back, in fear of pushing the girl away, but Lucy's arms were latched around her back. She didn't want to lose that feeling. She was the abused child that needed her mother to comfort her, to tell her that she wasn't horrible, that she was truly worthwhile, that she wasn't a wast of space.

"I won't let anyone kidnap you again, Lucy." Esme said firmly. It made her feel comfortable, knowing that she wasn't alone. The darkness in Esme's tone made her not want to ever upset the woman, and was thankful to be on her good side, to be the subject of her protection.

"I killed them all." Lucy said quietly as she let go of the woman, wrapping her arms around herself with an involuntary shudder. "I can't even remember it, but I can still taste their blood in my mouth. I wanted to kill them." She had a familiar taste filling her mouth as she cringed, forcing the bitter sweet taste down her throat. "The venom still pools in to my mouth at the thought. I really am some freak of a monster."

"You produce venom?" Esme asked her slowly, taking a step back in awe.

"I am going to guess that I've got more venom in my body than any of you do. you saw all of the bite marks; each time a little bit of venom is released in to my body, enough to turn a full grown man. And with each bite of the humans, more of the venom that mingled in to their blood filled my body." Lucy said, shaking her head. "Maybe once the venom works it way out of my system my eyes will go back to normal, and I'll be able to eat normal food without getting ill."

"I'll call Carlisle." Esme said disappearing, leaving Lucy to sit somewhat awkwardly at the counter. The air felt fairly tense around her. She twirled her fork on the plate, trying to ignore the smell of the food.

"How are you feeling?" Alice asked her quietly; Lucy glanced up to the shorter girl, raising a dark eyebrow elegantly.

"I spent nearly two weeks as a play toy to hundreds of vampires, and you're asking how I am feeling?" Lucy smirked.

"I..." Alice trailed off, looking guilty.

"Physically, I'm tired. It's a very peculiar feeling; I haven't felt gravely ill in over 150 years, but I feel absolutely deplorable." Lucy laughed slightly.

"How do you feel emotionally? Are you okay?" Alice asked her cautiously, her yellow eyes filled with worried curiosity.

"I'll survive." Lucy sighed, glancing up when Esme appeared back in the room.

"Carlisle is going to bring you some blood... to see if that will help." Esme said quietly, her eyes darting around the room cautiously before falling on Lucy, who had just dropped her fork with a clank.

"I don't want blood." Her voice was firm. She did not want to drink blood, she didn't want to even accept that she could be a monster. She enjoyed the idea that it would run it's course through her body and she would return to being her normal freakish self.

"Please?" Esme asked her, sitting in the seat besides her and grabbing her hands. Lucy cursed under her breath, refusing to look at the woman. "We want you to get better; you're our daughter now."

"Damnit, Esme. Did you have to pull the family card?" Lucy cursed bitterly, she couldn't say no to the woman now. "I'll try it, but I am not happy about it."

"We're worried about you, Lucy. Alice couldn't see your future, and Nick couldn't track you past Idaho." Esme latched on to the girl before quickly grabbing the plate and discarding it in to the trash. At that moment Carlisle came in quickly, he smiled at Esme, kissing her head before glancing down to the girl.

"It is great to see that you're back. We'll get you back to health in no time." Carlisle said to her warmly, pulling a long pouch of a red liquid from his pocket. Glancing curiously to her side she noticed that Alice's eyes were now going blacker with each passing second.

"Thank you, Doctor." Lucy smirked, he always spoke so clinically. Esme took the blood and was pouring it in to a glass. Lucy could tell that they were all holding their breath. She felt bad for doing this, she wasn't supposed to be the weakest one, she had never been this way before. Even when they had all been vampires she hadn't needed to worry much about them babying her.

"Try this. Do you want me to warm it up?" Esme asked handing the cup to the girl. lucy perked an eyebrow, unable to hold back a smirk at the situation.

"Will you give me a straw and a little umbrella too?" Lucy asked as she took the glass, the corners of her lips turning up as she bared her teeth, though as she leaned over the glass she couldn't help but cringe; it didn't _smell_ delectable or savory. Everyone was watching her as she sniffed it as though it were a fine wine that had mistakenly been put in to a tall glass as opposed to a wine glass. Ignoring their eyes she took a gulp of it, unable to hold back her instinctive cringe at the thought of drinking someone else's blood... but once it hit her mouth, she realized that it didn't taste nearly as horrible as she had expected... it wasn't metallic like as she had remembered blood tasting like, and it didn't have much of an after taste. It tasted slightly sweet, as though there was a hint of sugar in it; it almost tasted like juice.

"It's a little too sweet." She said, wrinkling her nose slightly. It disappointed her that it didn't make her feel ill, it didn't give her the same sensation of nausea that the real food had... rather, it tasted decent, and it made her hungry for more. "Does this stuff freeze?"

"Freeze?" Esme looked confused. Lucy couldn't believe she was asking it.

"Well it would be really nice as a daiquiri or a frozen drink like that. Maybe mix it in with some shaved ice or something. Add a little vanilla to tone down the sweetness." Lucy mused as she took another sip. If there was one thing she had known about herself, it was that she found it impossible to remain upset over something for very long. It took a great deal of force to hold grudges, or to remain angry at something. She had very much been raised to believe that life was the way it was, and that there was no use complaining about it, so you had to make the most of it while you had it... granted, she had lived longer than she had expected, and didn't worry much about making the most of it, but she still saw no reason to be upset over things when she could be happy; Even in the darkest of times there is something that could make a person smile.

"Do you seriously want to make a daiquiri out of blood?" Emmett laughed loudly from the living room, peeping his head over to look at her with a grin. "You're not too bad, kiddo."

"I'm glad all it took was a reference to an alcoholic beverage to make you approve of me." She rolled her eyes, slightly surprised to see that she had quickly downed the entire glass of liquid. She still felt hungry, but wouldn't say anything. she glanced up to Carlisle and Esme, who were both watching her. "So does this mean I need blood now? Am I going to try killing people now?"

"I don't know. It seems very strange, you never had these symptoms before. You said you were bit by a hundred vampires?" Carlisle spoke slowly, each word well annunciated.

"It's a rough guess. I don't remember, Though I am going to assume that every night I was bit by multiple vampires, and I've got more than enough scars to prove it." Lucy said, trying not to be bitter about her now marred body. She had gone through so many events without getting scars; broken bones, torn off appendages, and gun wounds without so much as a scratch. With a sigh she began pulling her sweater off, thankful for having worn an undershirt; Alice must have expected this.

"Those are..." Carlisle trailed off as he walked closer to her, looking at her scars.

"I think this one's my favorite. It's the most gnarly of them." Lucy said as she fingered one on the front of her shoulder, a large bumpy scar stuck up from the skin as though someone had taken a large bite from over the bone, taking the flesh with it. She then pulled the camisole up to reveal a large scar on the side of her stomach. "Though I like this one, too. That guy must have been _huge_. Look at the size of his teeth!"

"You can't be serious." She heard Jasper say from behind her as Esme clutched on to her. Her grin fell as she turned to look at him, a dark look on her face as she jumped off of the stool.

"Would you like me to start crying? Perhaps I should become severely depressed and mope about the house as I complain to anyone that will listen about how horrible a travesty this is. Would you like that, _Jasper?_" She spat out angrily. "Nothing is going to change what happened, and I see no reason as to why I should sit around crying about something that I can't change."

"Of course you wouldn't be upset over it; nothing can upset you. You're like the unsinkable Molly Brown, only you've got more pride than every person from Texas put together." Jasper said harshly. "You think you're some sort of saint that can do no wrong."

"I have never claimed that, and simply because I can control myself does not mean I am overly prideful. Though I suppose you wouldn't know much about control." she said viciously. The second the words left her mouth she felt guilty, but she wouldn't apologize. He didn't deserve an apology, he had been nothing but a jerk to her.

"You-" He began snarling at her, taking a step towards her.

"I don't know what I ever saw in you. I wish I had died of malaria rather than be destined to be anywhere near you." She said angrily. The rest of the room all stared at her with wide eyes, she ignored them and walked towards the stairs, her hand holding the wall idly to steady her steps. She couldn't stand to be around him anymore.

* * *

**A/N:**_ Thank you for all of the lovely reviews. I really do appreciate all of them. This chapter has more Lucy, and the next chapter will follow Lucy and another Character... the chapter AFTER the next one will be __**all**__ about Jasper. I promise. :)_

_Please Review and let me know if you liked it. :D_


	14. Chapter 14: It's Beginning To Get To Me

**Chapter Fourteen:**** It's Beginning To Get To Me**

* * *

_We need to feel breathless with love,  
__And not collapse under its weight.  
__I'm gasping for the air to fill  
__My lungs with everything I've lost._

_Snow Patrol - It's Beginning To Get To Me_

* * *

Three weeks had passed. Rain was pounding against the roof as Lucy sat in the living room of the Cullen's house. She could practically hear the sound of Esme's pencil scraping paper in her work room. The sound of the rain hitting the pavement, a light wind hitting against the side of the house... sitting alone in the middle of the day made everything seem much more loud. She was finally able to hold down regular food; a feat which, until two days prior, had seemed impossible. A thick, meaty steak... the blood oozing off of it... the very thought of it sounded repulsive; yet she could feel her mouth watering simply thinking about the meal. No vegetables, nothing else... simply very rare meat.

Peter and Charlotte had been very nice, they stayed for a week with the family, much to Edward's dismay. She and Charlotte got along very well, and she had been sad to see her new friends go. Perhaps was had given her even more disappointment, was that with Charlotte and Peter gone, Jasper could now be a prick more openly towards her. Needless to say, it was now she who avoided him like the plague. It seemed that he took any chance available to tell her that she didn't belong there.

The sky was dark grey with clouds, it was the beginning of May; she had practically missed a month and a half of school; Carlisle did not think it wise to let her near humans. Edward had not brought Bella over for fear that the girl would attack her. It was offensive, but she understood the fear.

"You know," A velvety voice came from behind her. She didn't have to turn to know who it was. Her full lips pursed in annoyance, awaiting whatever the tall man had to say. "I'm not the only one tempted by your blood." A deep frown formed on her features as she tried to remain calm, the very sound of his voice made her want to commit murder. Her hands sat in the pockets of her large sweater, her fingers running over the edges of a small lighter with a smirk.

"Yet somehow, they're perfectly able to withstand it. Does it hurt to know that you've failed everyone?" She asked, glancing back with a perched eyebrow delicately raised, the corner of her lips turned up with a dark grin. "It must be horrid to know that you've done exactly what everyone _knew_ you would."

"Yet you are the pathetic jezebel that lives to tempt those that you proclaim are family." He responded, standing besides her as she refused to turn from the window to look at him. She didn't need to turn to know what he looked like, his features were set in to a scowl, most definitely; he was watching her, waiting for her to break under pressure.

"I've always wondered what it would feel like to be a complete disgrace to all of humanity. Could you tell me what it's like?" She asked, looking to him with wide, hopeful eyes; acting was no hard feat, particularly when her words were laced with such venom.

"Y-" Jasper tried to begin, but couldn't when the figure of Esme stood between the two.

"Honestly! How old are the two of you? You're acting like children." Esme fumed angrily. She had taken their fighting the hardest, and guilt filled Lucy; she truly loved Esme as a mother and best friend. The thought of causing her pain did not settle well, though overriding any guilt, was her disdain with Jasper.

"He started it." Lucy folded her slender arms over her chest indignantly. She was not about to lose this battle and take the blame. It was Jasper's fault everything had happened; if he hadn't started this stupid war with her, they never would have fought, she would never have been left alone while in Port Townsend, and even if she had, she wouldn't have had to listen to Jasper ostracize her for being _kidnapped_.

"She-" Jasper tried to counter, though Esme let out a deep growl.

"ENOUGH!" Esme called out angrily, Lucy took a step back in slight shock at the sheer power in her tone. Esme was rarely angry, and she was now thankful for that. The woman was frightening.

"Jasper, you need to stop blaming Lucy for your moment of weakness; she was trying to help, and contrary to what you may think, we, as a family, are having no problem with her scent. We enjoy having her around." Esme said firmly to Jasper, Lucy smirked to her back, looking smugly to Jasper. "And Lucy, stop telling Jasper that he is a weak failure. He is trying."

Lucy scoffed under her breath and rolled her eyes. Months prior she would have agreed that Jasper was trying, yet now any compassion towards him was overridden by pure aggravation towards the man. It seemed like the only thing he was truly trying to do was make her feel guilty enough to leave _his_ family.

"Can I go back to school?" Lucy asked her finally, changing the subject. Staying at the house all day was _boring, _and she wanted to do _something_.

"Go back? Are you sure?" Esme asked her cautiously. Lucy caught the smugness coming off of Jasper. He enjoyed the fact that they now worried about her attacking others. He wasn't the weak one in the family anymore, and he seemed to take a great deal of pride in that.

"I'm practically human, and Jasper attacks people much more often than I do. You guys let him out in public." Lucy said innocently, her arms folded across her chest. His eyes narrowed at her.

"LUCY! That is unnecessary." Esme hissed. "If you feel you are well enough to return to school, then we can discuss it with Carlisle when he gets home."

"Thank you, Esme! You're the best!" Lucy latched her arms around the woman tightly, she knew that if she had Esme on her side, Carlisle would certainly agree that she was well enough to return. She had, after-all, shown no real indication that she even wanted to attack a human.

* * *

The sun felt warm against her fair skin, Lucy lay back in the grass with her eyes shut. It was Sunday afternoon and the men and Rosalie would be home later that evening from their hunting trip. Alice and Esme had remained at the house, while Edward had disappeared with Bella. The inside of her ear tickled slightly with the sound of Alice's feet on the crisp spring grass. Opening an eye slowly Lucy took in the many colors radiating from her skin. While she had acted casual about it, their skin had mesmerized her every time she saw it. The first time she had seen it was while sitting in the yard with Jasper in a very similar position to where she currently lay. It seemed like such a strange memory to think about, considering the events that followed.

* * *

_Carlisle had run tests on her for three days, and the sun was shining warm outside. She would return to school the following day, though he had just received an urgent call from the hospital. With excited glee she ran upstairs to a familiar cream colored door. Without thinking she threw the door open with force._

_"Come on! We're going out in the sun!" She proclaimed excitedly, she had felt a strong pull towards him, yet he had always had something else to do that made it nearly impossible for her to me near him._

_"Why are we going outside?" He laughed at her excitement. The voice that had told her to ignore the growing infatuation with him had disappeared; he was a strong link to her past, he was someone whom she had known before. She wanted to keep him near to her, and she didn't want to lose his friendship._

_"You shouldn't dent the walls, Esme will not be happy about this." She smirked, picking up a ball that had fallen besides one of his pale blue walls, a small dent had formed where he had thrown it. With a laugh she threw it at him as hard as she could, knowing he would catch it effortlessly. "Come on!"_

_"Why-" He had begun, but with a grin she darted in front of him._

_"Come on! Stop whining!" She proclaimed, grabbing his larger hand with her smaller fingers, trying to pull him up. She wasn't truly trying to pull him up, but she enjoyed the feeling of his hands in hers; they were soft, and cool to the touch. Yet it made her stomach do flips. He laughed at her attempts, shaking his head until he gave in and allowed her to 'pull him up', both of them laughing._

_"You're too slow!" She cried out, pulling him 'quickly' through the house. She knew that he could move faster, though for some reason she was in a playful mood. She wanted to do nothing but laugh, and be carefree. Enjoy the warm sun with Jasper before returning to the real world._

_"I'm too slow?" He laughed loudly as she grinned, dragging him as he slowed even further. She groaned as he made himself dead weight, his feet barely moving. He smirked at her, a glint flickering in his golden eyes. Before she could blink he had swept her in to his arms and she cried out in surprise, her eyes wide as everything blurred about her for a second. Suddenly they stood far from the house in a field behind it._

_"I think that __you__ are too slow." He told her smugly. She frowned in response, despite the fact that she knew he could feel her emotions. She loved it when they ran with her; it was exhilarating. Emmett's new game had become 'carry the human', in which he would randomly pick her up and run throughout the house at his top speed. Yet Jasper ran much more fluidly than Emmett had, it was a delicate grace that she had never quiet noticed before. Glancing to his features she took in the soft glow of his skin, the way the lights bounced off in every direction. He was much more beautiful than the others she had seen in sunlight; even as the soft scars that covered much of his skin seemed more prominent. Glancing to his eyes she saw that he was watching her curiously, his lips curled back in a smirk; he had caught her admiring him. A deep blush flooded her cheeks, and within a second she found herself standing alone in the yard. Her smell had been too much, or perhaps he was embarrassed for her. Sighing she walked through the calf length grass towards the sound of the river._

* * *

That day had been the last time she had held a truly decent conversation with Jasper. The following day she had punched Tyler for being a presumptuous jerk. She wasn't sure where all of the anger had come from, she had always been very level headed, though it seemed that the past couple of months had more than made up for a lifetime of calmness. Sitting up she couldn't help but frown at the strange glittering that came from her own skin. She would never look normal in the sun to human eyes again, she would have to protect her skin as much as the Cullens did.

"I had a vision about you and Jasper." Alice spoke softly, sitting down quietly besides the girl. Lucy frowned at the serious tone in her friends voice. "It's not very good."

"What's going to happen?" Lucy asked in a nearly inaudible whisper, biting her lip slightly. Never had she done anything to Jasper; she had been nothing but nice towards him, she had _fallen_ for him. Twice. Each time had been quick and foolish, but it had happened none-the-less... and it seemed that every time she started to fancy him, he left, or acted like an angry six year old that hadn't gotten their way.

"You're going to get in to an argument. He wants you to leave." Alice said. Lucy felt her stomach drop in to a deep abyss. He wanted her gone; they had fought constantly, but she had hoped he would get over it, that he was only bitter that she had allowed him to bite her, that he was afraid of what would happen to her there... but he wanted her to leave. He didn't want her there.

"It's not true, Lucy. He is angry, and hurt." Alice said quickly, noticing the sullen expression that was on the taller girl's face. Her throat constricted, and she was determined not to cry at something that hadn't even happened. "He thinks it is what's best for you."

"Me leaving? How is that best? You saw what happened when I was left alone for a few _hours_." Lucy said quickly, her eyes were already tearing up against her greater efforts.

"You're going to run away, this evening. You can go stay with the Denali coven for a while; Jasper will get over it and realize his mistake." Alice told her, handing a small paper to her. Glancing down she saw that it was a plane ticket to Alaska. "He'll miss you, I see it. The two of you are going to end up together. I know it."

"What if I don't want to end up together? He's been a complete jerk to me, and if he's going to say something so mean that I will want to leave, why should I want to spend an eternity with him?" Lucy asked. The words were hard to form; every ounce of her body wanted to be with Jasper, it didn't want to listen to her mind that was telling in the reality of the situation. It stupidly clung to hope, as ill-placed as it was. It was the same voice that told her everything in the world disappeared when he stood near her, that his smell clouded every sense... it was a foolish infatuation, and perhaps leaving would help cure her of it. She needed to hate him as much as he apparently hated her.

"You will." Alice said with finality. "I packed your bag. Esme wants to say goodbye to you before they return; Jasper will start fighting with you in about an hour and a half."

"Thanks." The larger girl retorted dryly, glancing down to the ticket as Alice gravity of it hit her like a ton of bricks; this would be her last day here. Jasper didn't want her to stay there, for whatever reason he had, he wanted her gone. He wanted her to leave.

The last free hour of her life with the Cullens was spent with Esme and Alice, going through clothes in her room. Her small suitcase had been placed in to her car. Esme seemed attached to her in a tight embrace for most of the time, until Alice touched her arm.

"They'll be home in five minutes. Jasper can't know where she is, or that we know about this." Alice said, glancing to Lucy with remorse. She tightly hugged the girl. "Be safe, we'll miss you, but you should be able to return within 6 months or so."

"I hope so." Lucy said quietly, holding on to the two women. She didn't want to leave them; they had become her family. Over 100 years had passed without anything remotely close to this, yet after only a couple of months she was now going to leave them. She had to run away.

"The Denali coven is expecting you. Jasper will come and get you when he's ready to find you." Alice said, her voice sure. "It will take six months at most, this needs to happen for the two of you to truly work. Everything will work out. I promise."

"Okay." Lucy sighed, standing in the living room, holding Alice close. Alice and Esme forced a smile before they let go of her, disappearing throughout the house to their own business. With a frown of frustration she sat on the couch; she was alone; waiting for the time to come when she would leave.

Five minutes had passed much more like five days, sitting on the couch flipping through satellite channels quickly without much regard for what was actually showing. Though like an angel of death Jasper apeared before her, the remote laying forgotten on the couch as a show on primates played behind him. His lips moved, his smooth voice coming out, the words wicked and twisting, much like a knife in her gut. She could hear what he was saying, though the words seemed to blur in her mind, the hate in his tone making her stomach feel sick with queasiness. Unshed tears pricked at her eyes at his words. He thought that she was selfish, that everyone pitied her.

"I don't think you should come back, you make life harder for all of us." His voice cut through her senses like a sharp arrow straight to the heart, coated thick in venom to kill more swiftly.

"Fine, I won't burden your family anymore. I had no idea I was so unwelcome." She responded with such anger she was unsure of where it had come from. Leaving felt good, she couldn't stand to see his face, his haunting black eyes that made her feel like an insignificant piece of dirt. The door to the garage swung loudly before she jumped in to her car quickly, pulling away with more speed than she had ever driven before. Even if Alice had promised her that the words were not truly meant, it did not change the fact that he had said them. He wanted to hurt her. She had wanted to hurt him. They were not the same people they used to be, and living with him had turned her in to a vicious monster. She was supposed to help people, to care for others, yet she was selfish; even he thought so.

* * *

Six months passed. Snow fell outside of the window where Lucy sat, lazily watching it accumulate. It was the middle of November, and the sun had stopped rising, though they still had a few hours of daylight. Living with the women had been strange at first, though they were much better with humans than the Cullens. Of course, they were far older than her other family, though they acted much differently. Tanya and Kate, both beautiful willowy blondes, had been much more like Alice, than Esme. Within her first week there she had been given a "makeover" to fit in with them.

A rush of wind brushed across her cheeks before the sound of a door shutting met her ears. A book sat in her lap forgotten. Glancing down as she heard quiet laughter she noticed that the pages had moved during her gaze outside. The Great Gatsby. She read it when it first came out. It wasn't one of her favorites, though she had run out of books to read while pent up in the house. It was far too freezing outside to leave.

"Lucy?" The soft voice of Irina spoke, pushing open the door to her warm bedroom. Lucy slept in the only bedroom in the large house that the vampires had built. A beautiful fireplace kept the room warm, while she was forced to using candles, as the vampires had no need for lights.

"How was hunting?" Lucy smiled, setting the book down as she turned away from the window. Irina had always been away with Laurent, her mate, so they had rarely had time to talk. Her silvery blonde hair hung to her chin delicately. Lucy was jealous of her beauty, though not in a harmful way. She was by no means hideous, but being with vampires did make her feel somewhat insignificant and feeble. Jasper had been right to call her helpless, and weak.

"The Olympic Coven have broken up; Jasper attacked the human girl that Edward doted on in September." Irina said quickly, entering the room with such poise and grace of a goddess. Lucy froze, her eyes unblinking. Of course Irina had been the one to tell her; of all the family, she was the quickest to speak, even if it was not always correct. Her temper was short, and she held grudges better than anyone Lucy had ever met.

"Jasper attacked Bella?" The words didn't make sense in her mind, they sounded strangely foreign. Did that mean that Bella was a vampire? Where had Jasper gone?

"She was not bitten, though Jasper has disappeared with Esme and Carlisle. The others have all separated on their own paths. I spoke with Edward yesterday in Nova Scotia." Irina told her. Lucy could hear her disgust with Jasper; she had little faith in Jasper at this moment. They were gone; she had no idea where any of them were. Alice had promised that everything would be all right, that it would work out... yet she was stuck in Alaska, while all of them had gone their own separate ways. It had happened two months ago, yet Alice had not come to see her. Esme had not come. Even Emmett and Rosalie had not come. The family may have very well forgotten about her. Jasper had been right; they were pleased to be rid of her.

"My belongings are at the house in Forks, they left all of my things there." Lucy said with fear, suddenly realizing that all of her things were still held in the attic of the Cullen's house. They had packed up her most important things and placed them there while waiting for the men to return, though Esme had said she would do the rest of it once she was gone... yet they had undoubtedly left it all there. She was another piece of their past that they would allow to be forgotten in the dusted pages.

"I promised Eleazer that I would help him and Carmen building a garage, though I am certain that Laurent would be more than willing to take you down there. It's no more than a day trip." Irina told her with a warm smile. Lucy nodded, standing up besides the towering beauty. She had never spoken with Laurent, though Irina loved him, so he couldn't have been very horrible.

Laurent reminded Lucy of Jasper; he was 100 years older than she, and he held a sophisticated grace that even Edward had lacked. His voice had a soft french accent, and his voice was musical enough to lull her peacefully. He loved Irina very much, though he had difficulties maintaining the diet of eating animals. He tried, but felt that he was making little progress.

"You are not afraid of me." Laurent laughed as they ran through trees. The moon was high in the sky, though it barely told her of how long it had taken to get to their current location. It had been dark when they left, yet it seemed that it continued to be dark as they traveled; the moon was high in the sky, suggesting that it was the middle of the night.

"No, I have no reason to fear you." Lucy responded honestly. She did not wish to return to the Cullen's house.

"That is where you are wrong, young one." He laughed. She frowned as she felt him set her on the ground. The smell of the woods was familiar, a damp smell that was unique to the Washington rain forest. They were close to Forks.

"Why would you say that?" She asked him; there was nothing he could do to her. If he bit her, he would turn in to a human, and she wasn't sure what would happen to her, though she would either get ill for a few hours, or turn in to a vampire... then it hit her. The familiar glint in his golden eyes that she recognized from many others that had bitten her. Her heart raced as she found herself pressed against a damp tree trunk, his larger form neared her, his teeth shining in the moonlight.

"I really do feel bad for this, though I'm afraid I can't fight this any longer." The strange man before her said. He had seemed so kind, so civilized, yet the look on his face no longer held the same care. "I'll make this easy on you."

With that, she felt her entire body grow heavier, a harsh feeling over her head that throbbed before everything around her went black.

* * *

The days blended together painfully. Laurent had insisted on staying in a hotel in a strange town called Aberdeen. It was larger than Forks, though it was a logging town a little further south. With every moment that he grew closer to returning to a vampire he would bite her once more, leaving her bound against the hotel bed while he explored the town, living as a human for the first time in over two hundred years. A constant feeling of sickness and violation seemed to stick in her bones. She was no better than a common whore; an abused woman tied to a hotel bed for his pleasure and amusement.

Lucy's eyes felt heavy as she glanced around the room; she hadn't eaten in days, if not weeks. The room was dark, only a sliver of light peeking through the curtains. Her skin was cold and clammy, and her heart seemed to pump more loudly than usual, her throat constricted in discomfort. The venom was building up in her body, she could feel it. A few more bites and she would turn. She would be able to fight back, she could run away from this disgraceful place. Her wrists and ankles stung from the rubbing of ropes that had been tied tightly, the skin raw where it dug in.

The latch on the door turned quietly; Laurent was returning, though as light filled the room, she heard the sounds of more footsteps. The light was blinding to her human eyes. There were five people standing there with him. He was going to show her off, they would all bite her. Fear no longer filled her, but hope, and excitement. Their red eyes wandered over her form curiously.

"If you bite her, you will turn in to a human for a few hours, it is the strangest thing. You must try it." Laurent told a woman with fiery red hair that hung about her wildly. She must have been the leader of the coven. The others all had shining red eyes, signifying that they must have been newborns; they looked much like children trying their hardest to behave.

"The Newborns will try first. If it does not harm them, I will try it." The woman nodded. The four men jumped eagerly at their chance to attack the human. She cringed as they lept, each taking a limb as though she were some strange treat. There was no finesse to how they ate, though she had long grown numb to the painful sensation of their teeth piercing her skin.

The four men stumbled back after only a few seconds, clutching their throats as they fell to the ground. Laurent motioned for the red headed woman to wait. Lucy could feel the room spinning, her head felt hot... it was happening. She heard voices in the room, though she knew none of them were talking.

_"Let's just enjoy it while we're here. Stop being sour."_ A woman's voice whined, it was nasal, and somewhat annoying.

_"The kids need us at home._" A man responded.

_"We need to pick up cookies and wine before going to the party_." Another man's voice said. She was hearing the voices of everyone in the hotel, at least in their vicinity, the sounds throbbing in her ears. Her eyes shut tightly, trying to block out the bright light in the room as the overhead light had now been turned on.

Suddenly another set of pointed teeth found themselves on the side of her neck, it was much more delicate than the bite of the newborns; it was the woman. She smelled of wet earth, and rotting trees. It was by no means a horrible smell, though it was quite possibly the worst thing she had smelled yet. When she left, her familiar captor returned, grinning against her flesh as he sucked out her blood. Idly she wondered how she had so much blood within her body.

Sweet, beautiful scent. The smell of pumping blood filled her senses as the room slowly stopped spinning, her thoughts stopped churning so violently. The sensation had scared her before, though now it was her liberator. This strange feeling, the speed, the need for blood... it gave her power, she was not weak, and she did not need anyone to protect her. She would kill anyone in her path that tried to fight her, she would be strong. With a wicked grin she opened her eyes, watching the dust flicker before them. The warm glow of the overhead light brought out the dingy colors of the cheap hotel room. The vampires were all eagerly exchanging words, talking of how human they were. They didn't even notice as she crushed the rope in her hands, swiftly taking the rope from her feet.

"This is-" The tall woman said, but stopped when she saw Lucy standing atop the bed, holding the long rope that had tied her feet together. "What is going on?"

"This has never happened before." Laurent said, his voice somewhat hurried, his now human heart racing quickly. She closed her eyes, taking in the scent with fervor. With a wicked grin she glanced to him, her eyes burrowing in to his now brown eyes. He was frightened of her. Gently she licked her lips, the venom pooling in her throat. Revenge would be sweet.

Footsteps. Someone was coming, and they were determined. She could hear their relaxed heartbeat as they neared.

Knocking sounded outside of the door. Nimbly she leapt to the ground, opening the door with a look of innocence. The smell of pizza made her nauseous, though the smell of the poor pimply faced boy was even better. Closing her eyes slightly she allowed herself to take in his scent. His eyes were wide as he gasped. She glanced down, realizing that she only wore her underwear, the corner of her lips turned up.

"Yes?" She asked him with curiosity. He now looked to her eyes, he was shocked, and confused, his poor human heart racing with hormones.

"D... Did someone... or-order a p-p-pizza?" He stuttered as his eyes roamed back down to her body. She was probably the first woman he had ever seen so exposed outside of swimming pools, and in the media.

"Did one of you order a pizza?" She asked curiously, a small grin as she turned back to the people standing in the room. They were frightened.

"I'm sorry, I don't think we ordered a pizza." She told him remorsefully. He gulped. A voice in the back of head remembered listening to Tanya about how she used to kill humans, seducing them away from public. Making it look like an accident. "Though I am certain my family would love some."

"Oh..." He said slowly. She walked in to the room, grabbing a robe and wrapping it around herself as she moved quickly, much more quickly than his eyes could follow.

"Here." She smoothly handed him the money she had found in Laurent's pocket. She grabbed the steaming box and set it on the table. A small voice in her mind said that it was wrong to kill this poor, innocent boy... though her thirst for his blood was much stronger. He was an unattractive geek; surely no one would miss him. The voice of the vampire inside of her outweighed any reason or sensitivity.

"Thanks." He took it before darting down the hall away from her, clearly he understood to fear her quick movements.

"I'll see you all later. Enjoy your pizza." She said with a deep grin, shutting the door behind her as she glanced around. It was the dark of night now, and no one was around. She ran speedily to the car, opening the passenger side and sitting in gingerly. She casually stretched her exposed leg on to the dash, leaning back in the cloth covered seat of his old blue sedan from the 80's at best. The paint peeled, and it reeked of the horrible pizza, and plastic. Turning back she found a small figurine, a smile on her lips as she pulled it up, trying to recognize what it was from.

Footsteps neared a minute later and she heard a gasping. Glancing up she pushed open the door with her leg, her movements were fluid, filled with a grace that she never held as a human.

"What... what... what are you..." He couldn't speak straight, his words were shaking.

"You looked like you needed a break." She said in an alluring tone. Tanya had shown her how to appear alluring, and seductive, though as a human it had been awkward at best... yet by the way his pupils dilated, and his blood pumped swiftly she knew it was working. "What do you say? We take a ride somewhere secluded, just you and me. I've been awfully lonely staying with my brother and his friends. They never let me out of the hotel room."

"I-" He began, still standing outside of the car. Her annoyance was growing, though she desperately tried to suppress the annoyance. No good would come from taking him in the parking lot of a crowded hotel; even the monster side of her knew that much.

"Please? I promise to be nice. I can show you a few things that I am _certain_ you would _love_." She said sweetly, her voice dripping like honey. She could practically hear his brain fighting his hormones. Her teeth glinted in the dim light of the street light as he nervously stepped in to the driver's side. "I knew you'd say yes."

She trailed her fingers gently over his arm, tossing the pizza bag in the back seat as his hands shakily shut the door. Sitting back in the seat, she rolled her window down, she would kill him straight in the middle of town if she wasn't careful. With the fresh air of the town on the water helping to distract her, she wondered if she would be able to turn him. Soon she would return to being human, and she would be sick. She'd probably forget everything... she would be weak. Laurent would find her again, or perhaps a new vampire would... they would hurt her.

Lucy was tired of being hurt and taken advantage of; she had never thought she would yearn for the days when her biggest problem was needing to move away from everyone she knew every 15 years. She wouldn't allow herself to grow weak again, even if it meant surrounding herself with vampires that attacked her every time she started to become more human. Anything was better than what she had endured with Laurent.

Once on a dark secluded road, he stopped the car. It had taken them nearly thirty minutes, and his slow driving made her want to die.

His eyes were wide, a beautiful green that hers had once been similar to, though his were hid behind wide framed glasses. His hair was greasy looking, shaggy, and a dirty blonde color. His body was tall, and long; a gangly teenager. Gently she took off his glasses, taking in every disgusting pore on his face.

"How old are you?" She asked him smoothly, a slight smirk on her lips. She may not even be able to turn someone, though her teeth were sharp, and the venom was in her mouth. She could practically taste his blood.

"eight... eighteen." He fumbled awkwardly. His heart racing, causing that beautiful smell to entice her senses.

"I must say, I was going to kill you, but I think I'd like to save you. You'll be my little pet." She said, her cool finger trailing down his bumpy cheek. His eyes widened in fear as she knelt down to his neck, taking in the scent. The one spot that the smell of pizza did not overwhelm her. "This may hurt."

He didn't have a chance to escape as her teeth sunk in to his smooth flesh, a gasp escaping his lips as she pulled her lips back in a grin. The liquid was warm, and tasted like the best juice she'd ever tried. Reluctantly she pulled herself back when she felt his heart slow.

Throwing him on to her back as he passed out, she jumped from the car, running at her quickest speed, knowing that they needed to be away from the scene. In the middle of the woods she practically threw him on to the ground. From what she had heard about newborns, she suspected that he wouldn't wake for a couple of days; she only hoped that the venom in her system lasted long enough.

What was she doing? Her mind chastised her for her behavior; wanting to change someone, wanting to kill... this was not her. She didn't want to hurt anyone... but she was weak, and they would kill her if she lived normally; she had to fight for herself. There was no one there to protect her, so she would have to find ways to protect herself. She would live as a vampire, surround herself with people who would bite her whenever she grew close to being a human; newborns worked perfectly.

A sweet smell of perfume met her senses as she ran through the woods. A small woman, she was walking home from a bus stop. With a smile Lucy followed in the shadows, the hood of her bathrobe over her face. The woman turned down a dark alley, filling her thirst with hope.

The woman never knew what had hit her. The boys blood had tasted better, though hers had an almost bittersweet tint to it. Running to the car she pulled off the woman's clothes. A nice pair of slacks, heels, and a green blouse. Throwing it on, she tossed the woman in to the passenger side. Listening intently she tried to find a man. A hiker, anyone... they just needed to be about the same size as her pizza boy. If the flames burned high enough no one would be the wiser, even the bones would burn up and crumple under the impact of her planned accident. Finally a scent met her nose. Slowing her run she peeked from behind a tree. A hiker was sitting on a log, he looked frustrated.

"Can I help you?" Her voice was kind, and soft. The man jumped, surprised as he looked to her. Her face was masked in the shadows, though she knew he was able to detect her pale skin, and odd colored eyes.

"What... how did you get here?" He took in her strange clothes, the fact that she was not dressed in hiking gear... she looked as though she had worked in an office, rather than climbing a mountain.

"Shh. That doesn't matter." She said sweetly, listening for others. The nearest person was miles away. With a grin she stood besides him, kneeling down to reach his neck where he sat.

The flames lashed high in to the air as Lucy walked towards where her clothes sat. The smell of burning flesh and molten metal would stick with this area for months. Watching as it burned she gulped. These people were completely innocent. Before, she had only killed those that were trying to bite her... these were harmless humans. She had taken two lives; two innocent lives... and the third was waiting in limbo in the middle of the forest. She had never dealt with a newborn vampire, and had no idea how to care for one. As the sun began to rise over the trees her stomach felt heavy; she was a monster. Her fear had gotten the better of her, and she was now living like a beast; she had sought out their blood, she had not accidentally killed them. She _hunted_ them, and it had felt nice.

Laying on the ground besides her new pet she felt remorse for her actions. Curling tightly in to a ball she wished against all that she would wake up in the morning, and find that the past eight months had been nothing but a bad dream. She would be waking up, she'd get ready for school, go to classes and sit with Sam and Amber. Matt would jokingly ask her to the spring dance, she'd laugh and tell him no. The Cullens would remain weird, but she'd never bother getting to know them. She would keep her mouth shut about the civil war, and she would move to Seattle for school with Sam as they had planned. Vampires would not be chasing her around, and she would be able to live peacefully. Yet with each passing moment she was brought closer to the realization that she would not wake up from the nightmare.

The reality was set. She would be stuck like this. She had no one to protect her, more than ever before she was forced to realize that she was utterly alone. She had to kill people, and she had to surround herself with those that would bite her. She would not be weak again, and she would not allow them to take advantage of her ever again.

It took nearly two days before she returned to being human. 42 hours, 35 minutes, and fifteen seconds, to be exact. The hikers clothes that she had stolen had a watch. True to her expectations, in the following afternoon she was awoken by the figure of her pizza boy. He stood in the woods looking confused, and enraged. He was beautiful, as any vampire was. His eyes turned black as he looked to her. She stood with a smile, confident that he would not be able to kill her.

His restraint was non existent, though he only hovered above her neck for a minute before dropping to the ground. Before he returned to human she took in his appearance. He was tall, and slender, though he no longer looked as lanky. His hair was a silky, waving blonde, and his skin smooth white.

"Change in to these." She tossed the clothes to the strange boy that sat on the ground with an air of indifference. It was exactly as she had hoped, the venom in her blood was strong enough that simply one bite was enough to change her. She would need more bites, though, to sustain it. His eyes were the familiar green, his skin smoother than before. She hadn't bothered to bring his glasses, so she hoped he wouldn't truly need them.

"Who are you? What's going on?" He asked her, his thick brows puckered. At least his self conscious nature seemed to have disappeared a bit... or rather he could form full sentences.

"My name is Lucy. You're a vampire now." She told him smoothly, smirking. "Put those clothes on. The effects of my blood will only help you so long, and we've got a long way to run."

"I'm a..." He trailed off, his eyes wide with shock. "But I feel human."

"Yes, I'm sure you do. Now get dressed. Tell me your name. Do you remember anything of your life?" She demanded, turning so that he could change. She would hear if he tried to run.

"All I remember is you being in my car, and then you bit me." He was unsure of his words, but he quickly changed. He feared what she would do to him; that was good, since he would be stronger than her. "You're a vampire?"

"It's complicated." She answered simply, turning when she could no longer hear his clothing ruffle with movement. The sleeves were a little short, and the pants a little wide... but otherwise they looked all right. Before he could say another word she scooped him in to her arms and darted through the woods. His breathing hitched, his heart racing. She should have warned him to close his eyes, or given him some sort of warning, though she hadn't thought much of it.

"What are you doing? How can you do this?" He was shocked as they ran. Trees brushed past them, though she was easily able to navigate through them safely. Being a vampire was exhilarating. She should not have feared it, she should have embraced it... perhaps if enough people bit her, she would remain as a vampire and no longer have to fear her every movement.

* * *

A muggy thunderstorm was wrecking havoc on downtown Omaha as Lucy looked through an antique store with Charlotte. Peter was currently in the woods with another couple that had escaped Maria in the south. The small dark haired woman had quickly come to dislike Lucy for her ability to kill the Newborns. The newborns followed her, biting her and then they would fight amongst one another killing themselves. Life as a vampire had steadied itself out. She had spent three months with the newborns in Texas and Mexico, though Maria made it very clear that she was not welcomed in that area. Peter and Charlotte showed up at the perfect time, though Maria had been surprised at the connection between them.

With a sigh Lucy pulled at the edge of her long sleeve sweater. She didn't feel the warmth, though she was filled with a feeling of unease. Walking through the shop she tried to block out the musty smell of old items. Gasping she stopped at a large portrait. Charlotte appeared by her side a moment later, she was nearly as surprised by the painting.

"I have to get it. It's a sign." Lucy said with determination. "I will send it to them as a gift."

"The would probably love to see you." Charlotte said as the girl who was nearly her size held the large painting effortlessly. "They live in New York now, you know."

"I don't know that that would be the best idea. I'm not quite how they would remember." Lucy shook her head with a slight laugh. A year had passed, yet everything had changed. She was not the same person that she had been before.

"You and I both know that Esme cares not for that." Charlotte laughed, her light musical laugh that was much more beautiful than her own.

"Well you girls must be about the most beautiful girls I've ever set eyes on." The elderly man behind the counter said warmly.

"Thank you, sir." Lucy nodded politely, using her charm as she placed the large painting on the counter for him. "My sister and I are just passing through town, we're in a bit of a hurry, though. So I must apologize for not having time to chat with you."

"Does it ever feel weird to think that you're probably older than them?" Lucy asked with a laugh, sliding the painting in to the back seat of their car.

"I'm not around humans enough to think about it. If I saw someone that I knew who was old, it might be different, though I've only seen them as being old." Charlotte shrugged, sitting in the driver seat while Lucy climbed in.

"I suppose not." Lucy responded softly, leaning back in to the chair. The portrait had been an impulse buy... as had the car... nearly everything in her life these days was an impulse. Something done on a whim simply because it seemed like fun, something inside told her to do it. She had never lived so uninhibited before... fighting others, living life as though there was nothing to hold her back.

"I think you should get it framed and bring it to them. Alice and Esme would both love to see you." Charlotte said after a few moments had passed. Lucy frowned, her eyes closed lightly as though to pretend that she was sleeping.

Alice... Alice had said that everything would end up alright. _Six months at most. He'll come for you._ She had promised... promised... and yet he never came. She spent months locked in a hotel room, held at the whims of a man bent on inflicting pain on her, taking advantage of her in every way that he could think... he lived uninhibitedly... perhaps it was a common trait of vampires, Alice certainly exhibited no restraints with her shopping addiction, and Jasper seemed to have absolutely no control over his emotions.

If not for Jasper, she would never have been put in to this horrible situation. She could now defend herself, she killed on whims; human life meant little to her. They would die anyways, she was only speeding up the process... She usually went for men; something picked up from Tanya and Kate. She would entice them, lead them to the heat of passion, their blood running rampant through their veins... and then attack. That was definitely not something old Lucy would have done. A smirk curled up on her lips at the thought of how different she would have seemed to them. She had no reason to be a prim southern belle; to follow social norms... vampires had no social norms; the only rule was to remain hidden and not allow any humans to know of their existence; she could follow that.

"I suppose I could go, I have a few things I'd like to speak with Alice about." Lucy said to the blonde woman, who shook her head with a laugh.

"You can't try to fight Alice, she'll see it coming." Charlotte reminded her. It was true, and Lucy knew it. She didn't want to fight Alice... she just wanted to yell at her as loud as possible for a vampire. The only Cullens she cared to see were Esme and Emmett. She knew that Emmett was not back at the house.

"I know. Though I should hope that for both of our sakes, she is not present when I visit." Lucy said with determination. She would return to visit with _her_ family, as they had proclaimed to her with such devotion... her kind hearted, loving family... that had wished so well for her that they would throw her helplessly away. She would show him that Lucy Merriweather was many things, but weak and defenseless was not one of them. Jasper would learn to regret everything that he had put her through.

* * *

**A/N:**_ I apologize for this chapter going up earlier. This chapter was originally almost twice this length, but it was too long and would have had to be two... so I was going to put the Jasper chapter first, but chronologically it wouldn't have made sense, so I decided I would edit this one down to a smaller size. I don't think I cut out anything too important, and anything that I want brought up later will be given in a flashback. I hope you like it._

_Let me know what you think!_


	15. Chapter 15: Bixby Canyon Bridge

**A/N**: _ Thank you so much for the reviews, and for reading this so far. As Promised, here is the next chapter. I hope you all like it. I only have two more chapters to write and I'll be done with the story (There are only about five more chapters until the end.) I'm somewhat sad, but I'm excited at the same time to see what everyone things of how it ends. _

**Chapter Fifteen****:**** Bixby Canyon Bridge**

* * *

_And the silence, it became so very clear  
__That you had long ago disappeared  
__I cursed myself for being surprised  
__That this didn't play like it did in my mind._

_Death Cab For Cutie - Bixby Canyon Bridge_

* * *

_*tap* *tap* *tap*_

Someone was knocking on the door, though no one had answered. Setting the guitar on his bed, Jasper glanced out the window. It was twilight, the sun had just set, though the sky was still lightened. Listening he tried to get a sense for who was there, none had known where they lived.

_*tap* *tap*_

They repeated, waiting for someone to answer it. When he failed to hear anyone else moving he frowned before exiting his room and walking down the hall. Alice and Nick were _disposed_ at the moment, strong waves of lust, and passion shot through the walls like daggers. With a fierce growl that he suppressed beneath his lips he forced himself to ignore the feelings that threatened to overwhelm his senses. Running quickly he was more than eager when he received waves of complacent love. Esme and Carlisle were watching a movie in the basement, sitting peacefully together. At least Rosalie and Emmett had left, though he had never thought he would long for the calm, brooding feelings that Edward had given off.

_*tap* *tap*_

He felt for their emotions, trying to figure out who was there. A soft scent entered the room, it had a sweet, spring like smell to it. It was undoubtedly female, the soft scent, and the delicate knocking that couldn't have belonged to a man.

Hopeful, with a slight shot of fear. She was worried about something. Opening the door he felt a scowl grow on his face. He had been expecting a random vampire that had found their house, though he was met with a familiar form. A large package wrapped in gold paper stood by the woman's feet; she was no more than 5' tall, her hair long and black. Her skin a familiar milky white, her nose had the slightest upturn to the end; though large black glasses covered her eyes. Lucy.

The small figure tensed at seeing him, and for the slightest moment he felt a wave of pain over something, remorse... though before he had time to register it, he was met with anger, and resentment.

"What are you doing here?" He asked her harshly, folding his arms across his chest, she sneered. He had nearly felt bad for how they had parted ways, yet he had envisioned their meeting again to be much more ideal. Definitely he had not expected her to be... well... in a vampire like state.

"I brought a present for Esme... and Carlisle, of course. Something I have found on my... _adventures_." She spoke with an air of amusement; slowly as though to savor each word, the corners of her lips upturned. She wore a sweater, and jeans; very casual attire for someone that he had thought was running around on the loose. After she left town suddenly he had expected her to move somewhere safer, where she'd be free from vampires. At worst he expected her to die before he heard from her again. The thought had worried him, though he hadn't necessarily believed it would happen.

"I-" Jasper began firmly, though he was cut off when the loud sound of Esme and Carlisle running up the stairs greeted his ears. Her grin broadened, though there was nothing soft or welcoming about it as it had been before. She was no longer warm, and inviting. As she slipped off her sunglasses he caught a glimpse of her face. Her cheeks were high, her eyes as wide as before, though they were now a shocking shade of red that only newborns held, yet she was so poised that she could not have been a newborn. "You've been allowing others to bite you, haven't you?"

"Perhaps." She shrugged, her eyes were glistening with cold blooded amusement, she looked nearly like another person as she glanced behind him.

"Lucy!" Esme cried out, latching her arms around the tiny girl. "We thought you would never return!"

"I couldn't leave you forever, Esme. You've been like a best friend to me." Lucy said warmly, latching her arms around the taller woman; a brief flash of the old Lucy returned to her face as love radiated between the two women.

"You are one of us now..." Esme spoke slowly, she was saddened by it; She hadn't wished this for Lucy, no one had, and she knew that something had changed about the girl.

"Only from time to time; it makes running go much more quickly, and it's quite a rush. Though that is not what I have come for." Lucy said, darting back to her previous spot, pulling up the large package, it was a giant box that was nearly the same size as her, and was thinly shaped. "I found it while shopping with a couple of my new friends."

"What is it?" Esme asked curiously as she took the package. Jasper nearly wanted to warn his family that it could be lethal, though he knew it would only be theatric at best. Nothing could truly kill them from such a thin package; it looked like a painting of some sort. And the look on Lucy's face, despite the shocking red eyes, was nothing short of pure excitement. She ignored his presence entirely as she focused on Esme and Carlisle, so eager for them to open it, hoping that they would like it.

"Open it!" She cried eagerly, her voice ringing lightly. She had changed almost entirely since having left their home in Forks. Her voice was more musical, her skin held the same marble texture as theirs, and her features were much more pointed and sharp. The old Lucy was soft and delicate; this Lucy looked like a strange evil twin. Carlisle and Esme carefully opened the paper, that looked lavish and overly thought up, the wrapping had been done so perfectly that Alice could have done it.

"Oh Lucy, this is amazing. How did you find this?" Esme said, she was shocked, and pleased beyond belief as she returned to hug the girl. Lucy was beaming with excited pride, nothing but happiness radiated from her.

"I saw it in an antique shop, and was amazed by the likeness." She responded brightly, glancing to the large painting. Curious to see what it held, Jasper walked behind his 'parents' to look, he was surprised at the image. Two figures dressed like angels stood atop a hill; clearly it was Carlisle and Esme.

"This was our wedding, someone must have painted it." Esme said fondly, sensing Jasper's confusion. She was touched beyond any measure at the gift, further ensuring her position in the hearts of _his_ family. A year had passed without her, and suddenly she shows up out of no where; of course they welcome her with open arms. Esme would never have admitted it to anyone else, but Jasper saw the pain that she felt at the small girl running away, only to be followed months later by Edward disappearing, and then Emmett and Rosalie going off on a honeymoon. Jasper had wanted to leave as well, though he had no where to truly go, no one to go with. He would be an extra wheel no matter where he stood.

"What are you doing now? It has been nearly a year since you've left." Esme said, Jasper could feel the hope eminating from the warm woman, she wished for Lucy to return. The same hope radiated from the small girl. It was strange to see her face look energetic and amused, while the emotions from her were very distinct longing, and desire. She wanted to stay there as much as Esme wanted her to.

"I have been traveling with a group of vampires that protect me; it's like I need my own group of guards to keep me safe." She laughed lightly, though she was serious. He knew that her 'condition' made vampires seek her out, and he was interested to see how it effected her in the long run, though it didn't seem to bother her. "I've been traveling a lot. I can't really stay in one place for long before others of your kind find me. I've already lost a few men who protected me."

"You're lucky to have people willing to protect you." Esme spoke softly. She was trying to find a way to invite the girl to stay, Carlisle was holding her arm gently, a slight indication of affection, affirmation, and permission to ask.

"I'm sorry. I've really got to be going, I am meeting with a few friends in a few hours and need to hurry before this wears off." She said cheerfully, a bit too cheerfully for the hope that she had been feeling. She _sounded_ happy, yet he watched with confusion as she hugged Esme tightly, smiling at Carlisle. She was reluctant, she didn't want to leave. Then as she let go she looked to Jasper, her eyes narrowing slightly, though only momentarily.

"I promise to visit again soon." She said brightly, grinning her shining teeth to the family.

"Be safe, and you will always be welcome in our family." Esme said tearfully. Vampires couldn't cry, though he was certain that if they could, Esme would have shed enough tears in the past year to fill an ocean. She didn't want Lucy to leave, he didn't have to read her mind to know that.

"No I won't, though thank you." Lucy laughed, though she was bitter underneath her jovial tone. Her eyes glared to Jasper as she slipped on her glasses, she had meant that for him.

"Oh, right, Jasper? Maria told me to say 'Hello' to you. She wanted me to bring you the most delightful smelling little boy, though I told her that you were didn't feed on humans any more." Lucy shrugged noncommittally as she walked slowly towards the door. "Charlotte and Peter would also like for you to know that you are always welcome with them if you decide to leave the Cullens."

She had a wicked grin on her face, and he could see her eyes sparkling darkly beneath the glasses. Anger, bitterness, and resentment came from her in stronger waves than the lust from Alice and Nick. Then the strongest emotion yet nearly overwhelmed him, making him want nothing more than to attack her. _Hate_.

"I told them you would never leave the Cullens. Not that I can't blame you, they're a great family, I doubt you'd find anyone else so accepting of your _problems_." She said, her words were woven with such underlying emotions that she _knew_ he would feel. Each movement of her lips, each sound that escaped, was meant to anger him, to push him around... she hated him.

"It was great to see you all again, We will have to get lunch together some time. Good Night!" She laughed musically, her laughter sounded more like the cold laughter of Jane than the carefree laughter that Lucy had usually exhibited. Watching the spot that she had disappeared from he felt anger towards her, more than he had felt before... yet beneath that, he didn't quite understand the emotion he felt. Perhaps it was shock at the realization that she truly had hated him.

* * *

_"I could never hate anyone, it goes against my genetic makeup. I've even forgiven people who have tried to kill me, not even hours after having attacked me. I can't stay mad at someone."_ _Lucy laughed as she leaned against a tree in the backyard of the Cullen's house in Forks. The sunlight was beating against their skin, it was the first time she had seen his skin in open sunlight, yet she had made no mention of it yet. He had expected some sort of reaction, some sign of shock or disgust, yet she had seemed perfectly content to weave her large reeds of grass from besides the river._

_"You can't even stay angry at someone for trying to kill you?" Jasper laughed, looking up from the book to the girl who shook her head sheepishly. A slight blush crept to her cheeks, the smell was unbelievably delicious smelling, his throat burning with thirst that he fought hard to suppress. The sunlight made her face glow, only heightening the soft blush on her cheeks._

_"Isn't it silly?" She laughed, shaking her head at the embarrassment of the sheer fact that she couldn't stay mad at someone. He couldn't imagine being so forgiving; he knew that Esme was like that, though Esme was like a mother to everyone, and mothers were naturally inclined to have a forgiving nature. Lucy was in no way a mother like figure; caring, yes... but motherly? not in the least._

_"I don't think it's very silly. It's a very desirable trait for anyone to possess." He told her honestly. People these days held grudges far too strongly, he had tried very hard to avoid holding grudges, though it had been a strong part of his personality. He was a very loyal person, and if someone had threatened those near to him he would not have been able to find forgiveness within himself._

_"I think it is horribly silly. I should be able to stay mad at someone!" She exclaimed boldly, glancing up to him from where she sat a few feet away. A broad grin stretched across her features upon noticing that he was looking at her rather than his book. "Like the vampire that bit me in New Orleans; he looked so sick that rather than be cross for him having bitten me, I hoped that he was not ill."_

_"Esme is very forgiving, would you think her a fool?" He asked her, she felt foolish, and silly for her nature. Yet he didn't find it to be something bad, it was a terrific trait to have, she reminded him greatly of what women used to be like. She was never presumptuous; she was soft, and warm. Gentle, and Kind. Never harsh, always willing to open their heart to strangers, regardless of the risk to themselves. In 150 years she had not changed._

_"Esme is a nearly indestructible vampire, I am... well..." She laughed brightly, the sound filling the small field behind his house. "I am practically human. I may heal, but I still feel more pain than you guys do. I still bleed, and my bones break much more easily than yours. Not everyone can be made of stone."_

_"That is why you should stay with us; you have 8 vampires who will fight any threat that comes near you." He told her firmly; he knew it was the truth. His family had eagerly welcomed her in. While Rosalie was not nearly as drawn towards her as the others, and Edward was more preoccupied with Bella, the entire family would have protected her without a second's thought. He had expected to be met with doubt, perhaps surprise... though rather than this, he got a sense of being self-conscious, happiness, and contentedness._

_"I cannot thank your family enough for welcoming me here. I have never felt so welcome anywhere, I had nearly forgotten how it feels to truly be in a family." She said with a slight smile, she turned to look at the house that stood in the far distance. Carlisle had been called in to work that afternoon, and classes would resume the following day. Eagerly she had run outside in to the sun, a broad smile on her face; everyone else had disappeared for the day, leaving only her and Jasper._

* * *

_The memory quickly shifted back to earlier in the afternoon. Sitting in his room with a guitar Jasper tried to ignore the emotions coming from Emmett and Rosalie. At least when he and Alice had been together, there had been ways to ignore the feelings, or to act on them. Though now that Alice had left him, he was left to dwell on the emotions, trying his hardest to fight them. Angrily he grabbed a ball from his bed, tossing it to the wall harshly. The two stopped immediately, and he heard quiet growling._

_"Fine, Jazz. We'll find somewhere else." Rosalie growled angrily, her voice low and animalistic. He could hear them opening the door that looked over to the woods, their feet padding on the ground softly as they disappeared._

_With a sigh of relief he returned to the guitar in his hands. He was no where near as talented as Edward had been with music, though it had helped to pass the time; and to get out emotions that he fought not to burden his family with. The only emotions he could now feel were from Carlisle and Lucy. It was a Sunday afternoon, and he could see the sunlight glistening from the river outside of his room. Carlisle was running more tests on the girl, he was curious and inquisitive. She was annoyed, and exasperated. Suddenly the phone rang; Carlisle grew annoyed, while she was hopeful._

_"Dr. Cullen speaking... Yes?... I will be there right away." The phone hung up with a click. He could feel the excitement as though she were in the same room with him. Carlisle, however, was not nearly as excited. He had just gotten called in to work, but he wanted to study her more._

_"I've got to go in to the hospital, so I am afraid I won't be able to run any more tests this afternoon." He was undoubtedly frowning as he spoke to her._

_"I'm sorry, Carlisle." She said, her voice filled with remorse, though even she was horrible at concealing her happiness._

_"Go enjoy the sun." Carlisle laughed at her. She squealed brightly before swinging open the door downstairs. He heard her feet run up the stairs, undoubtedly heading towards her room. Though she stopped, and before he could realize what had happened she had swung open his door._

_"Come on! We're going out in the sun!" She proclaimed brightly, her face was lit up with excitement for something as trivial and normal as going outside._

_"Why are we going outside?" He laughed at her excitement. She entered his room, her smell permeating the surfaces as she bent down to grab the ball that had left a dent in it._

_"You shouldn't dent the walls, Esme will not be happy about this." She said with a grin, throwing the ball at him. He caught it with ease, setting the guitar down before she could even move. "Come on!"_

_"Why-" He had begun, but before he could further fight he was shocked to see that she was standing directly in front of him, bending slightly to the couch where he sat and grabbing his hand in hers._

_"Come on! Stop whining!" She proclaimed, grabbing his larger hand with her smaller fingers, trying to pull him up. He laughed at her efforts, knowing that there was no way that she could lift him. With a groan she looked as though she was struggling, though he could practically feel her laughing beneath her exterior. She was no more trying to move him, than he was to move. He shook his head, allowing her to pull him up and drag him outside eagerly. She ran down the stairs towards the back door._

_"You're too slow!" She cried out as he walked slowly behind her. Her hand was felt soft and warm as it clutched tightly to his as though to forcibly drag him outside. He could feel her pulse softly through the delicate veins in her hand, though more than urging his thirst it gave him an odd sense of energy._

_"I'm too slow?" He laughed loudly as she grinned, dragging him further as he slowed even further. With a snicker he swiftly picked her up and disappeared out in to the yard. She let out a loud yelp of surprise as he began to run. They stood far from the house, it stood in the distance as a slight mound._

_"I think that __you__ are too slow." He told her smugly. She frowned up at him, folding her arms firmly across her chest, though he knew that she had enjoyed it. A slight blush hit her cheeks in the sun, causing his throat to burn. He practically dropped her on the ground as he ran to the house; he needed an excuse to get away from her. The smell had been so strong; it stuck to his clothes, it followed him everywhere, burning his throat with such fervor._

_Nearly an entire minute had passed as he stood in his room, the door open to air out the smell of her, before he realized that she was undoubtedly confused about his disappearance. He hadn't wanted her to get upset, there was something about her that drew him in, more than her smell, he wanted to be near her. He wanted to know more about her, what her life had been like. Grabbing a random book he darted back towards the field, expecting her to have been making her way back towards the house. On the edge of the clearing where he had left her he stopped, watching her figure move.__ She was kneeling down towards the river, pulling up long reeds of grass, perfectly content; no sign of anger, or confusion at having been left. Five minutes passed as she picked reeds, unassuming of him watching her. The sun made her hair glow warmly around her pale face, her eyes matching the grass in her hands as she found an old tree to sit under, a large pad of moss beneath her as the sun shone brightly against her._

_There was no way that she could have missed the way the sun sparkled against his skin, though she had said nothing... yet he had not left her any time to speak. If he stepped in to the clearing, she would see him for the freak that he was. However, if he did not return, she would probably grow upset with him for not returning. She glanced up as he finally made his way towards the clearing, smiling at him brightly; there was no anger behind her, no indication that she was upset for having been abandoned. What further shocked him, was that she didn't even seem surprised by the strange shoots of light that reflected off of him in to every direction._

_"Feeling better?" She asked as she began folding the reeds on to one another, forming a strange object in her lap. He frowned at her, his brows furrowing as she glanced up to him curiously, mistaking it for confusion. "My scent was too much? That was why you left, wasn't it?"_

_"Yes." He frowned, of course she had known that that had been the reason, he would have been a fool not to have thought that. It only served further a reminder of what he was. She sighed, leaning her head against the tree briefly, closing her eyes as the sun reflected against her pale skin._

_"You're not a bad person, Jasper. You don't have to be so angry with yourself. Everyone has their limits, and you know yours." She said, smiling at him as she leaned away from the tree. Her words were entirely honest, she trusted him. No anger, no resentment or fear... she was happy to have his company, happy to be sitting in the middle of the woods, alone, with someone who could very well kill her before she even blinked. He hated that fact; one wrong move and she would have died. She may not die if he bit her, though he would never forgive himself. She was his one link to his past, the one person who seemed to want nothing more than to help __him__. Esme had always wanted to help him, but she had also worried about everyone else in the family... but Lucy had made it very clear to him that she worried not for the rest of the family, but for him. Even despite his being a vampire she had worried about his well being, he was the only person from her past that she had left, and she couldn't stand the thought of losing him as well._

_"How can you honestly say that?" He frowned, sitting well enough away from her that if the wind blew, her smell would be faint enough for him to try running the other way, rather than attack her. He would rather attack an entire classroom full of innocent students than her; he would fight the desire to kill her, and prove to everyone that he could fight the temptation. She was just like Esme, hopelessly believing in him, believing that he would be able to fight it, that he would be strong enough. Even Alice had doubted him, she had constantly feared what he would do at school, when in public... yet Lucy didn't seem frightened in the slightest; it was as though the thought didn't even cross her mind._

_"Everyone makes mistakes; no one is perfect. I know that you mean well, and you're trying." She said with a smile at him; her eyes sparkled with happiness and such assurance that he nearly felt certain he wouldn't do anything. For a brief moment it almost felt as though everything was __normal__... or at least as normal as it could get. There was something in the way she smiled so warmly at him, the way she had snuck away from Carlisle to find herself in his room... she preferred him to the others, even if she hadn't said anything he could feel it. He didn't understand why she had chosen to become so close to him, beyond having met him briefly in their past, there was no real reason for it. She had many things in common with the others, and Emmett was always more than willing to play games with her... yet she often ignored Emmett to sit in his room, laying back on his couch as she held a book, laughing at something that even he wouldn't know; or telling him a joke that only he would have understood. She knew that he was dangerous, and she would ignore that to be near him, she trusted him more than anyone else ever had... the very thought made his heart swell with pride._

_"If I bit you, would you not hate me? Would you truly be able to overlook that? To be so casual about it?" He asked her darkly; the thought made a pit grow in his stomach. It was a strong possibility, he would fight it with every fiber of his being, but it was impossible to fight everything. There was no part of him that wanted to attack her; it would hurt even worse than attacking Esme. They were the only two that seemed to support him, and be on his team._

_"Of course I would forgive you." She laughed as though he had asked her what she would do if he ruined her favorite dress. She took it so casually, so lightly. "I could not stay mad at you for that, I know it is in your nature to want to bite me; but I'd survive, and so would you. Life would go on, why stay mad about it?"_

_"Do you think that the fact that you would survive makes it okay? How can you stand to be around someone that wants to kill you?" He asked honestly. Were it him he would not have wanted to be near someone that wanted to kill him, it was a foolish decision. She thought he wouldn't kill her, and he knew that she had been bitten before, but he didn't wish to try his luck. She didn't look up from the grass that she wove delicately; he watched her from his book, she was unable to see that he was watching. Her lips were turned up slightly in a permanent smile that seemed to constantly grace her face when they were together, her chest rising gently with each breath that she was required to take. "I'm not the same person you knew, I'm dangerous."_

_"Do you really take me to be such a fool?" She raised an eyebrow with a laugh, though she didn't look up from her lap. She shook her head gently. "I don't care, honestly. I trust you, and I know that you would not harm anyone purposely."_

_She trusted him more than he deserved. He was a selfish creature, his self restraint in nearly every aspect was lacking; for nearly all of his life he had been granted to live as a savage, to do exactly as his desires willed; there was no sense of restraint within his body... his impulses often felt so strong that it felt impossible to fight them. It was why he had never felt any inclination to befriend a human; the emotional investment would have been a waste._

_"How can you be so forgiving?" He asked her, wondering how she could be so caring towards him, even after he threatened her. Part of him wanted her to run away from him, at least if she had left he would not have been able to attack her; without her near him, he could not try to kill her. While he didn't want to be apart from her, he would rather be alone, than have to worry that he would make a mistake. There was something strange about being near her, and he knew that she felt it as well. As though a strong rope had tied them together, making it seem nearly impossible to be far apart; the very idea of being far from her caused a sharp pain to course through his body. It wasn't the same as when he had been with Alice; he had needed Alice to help him, to protect him from making any big mistakes... deep down he had known that they were not meant for one another. Alice never trusted him, there had always been underlying doubt, a fear that he would try to attack a human; that he would ruin their rouse. Yet there was little Lucy could do to help him, at least not in the way that the others had... if anything, she needed his protection. It was a strange thought that he was, for once, the one protecting something, rather than being the one protected against. He enjoyed the feeling of finally having worth, of having someone trust him enough to feel safe near him. He wanted to be stronger for her, to prove that he could be... prove that he could protect her._

_"I could never hate anyone, it goes against my genetic makeup. I've even forgiven people who have tried to kill me, not even hours after having attacked me. I can't stay mad at someone."_ _Lucy laughed finally, leaning back against the tree as she stopped weaving her grass._

* * *

Yet he had bitten her, not 24 hours after he had felt so proud for having her trust. It had proven to himself that he was too dangerous to be trusted near even her. If he couldn't fight temptation around someone that he had felt such a close connection to, there seemed no hope that he could fight it towards others. He hated himself for it, and refused to speak with her. She hadn't deserved his coldness, she had forgiven him exactly as she had promised she would. She was confused and hurt when he acted harshly towards him; she didn't understand that she needed to leave, that she needed to be away from him.

_"Don't you even care to think about how your being in the house affects all of us? You're in a house full of vampires, Lucy. So long as you stay with us, we will feel no peace, your blood calls to each of us, everyone here thirsts for you."_ His voice rang out in his ears coldly as he stormed away from Esme and Carlisle who were discussing quietly where to put the painting. Esme was upset over Lucy having left. He had been the selfish one to send her away.

_"How can you be so selfish? They pity you, you make everyone pity you. Everything bad happens to you, and you make those near to you feel guilty. You're like a helpless child; will you ever learn to protect yourself?"_ He had continued when she hadn't responded. He could still feel the hurt that had carried through her, her eyes watered briefly before she had taken on a stony appearance, glaring to him. _"I don't think you should come back, you make life harder for all of us."_

_"Fine, I won't burden your family anymore. I had no idea I was so unwelcome."_ She had spat out with such anger, such hurt. It was the last time he had seen her. The school called asking about her, though the rest of his family had no idea where she was. Of course they had blamed him, which they were right to... though it had only further fueled his anger towards the girl. If she had only listened to him the first time he tried to push her away, if she had not formed the bonds with his family. Stronger than his desire to have her near, was his desire for her to hate him, to want to be so far from him that her love for his family would be overwhelmed.

It had taken nearly a year, but she had finally hated him. For once she had been wrong, the grudge had held... yet as he sat back on his couch, it did not feel nearly as satisfying as he had hoped it would. He had thought that if she had left his family, she would have returned to living as a safe, normal, human... yet she had taken to traveling with vampires. His decision to push her away hadn't taken in to consideration that she truly had needed their protection. Esme had suffered more than any of the others, Emmett had made it very known that he blamed Jasper for Lucy leaving, and that he felt Jasper was a selfish and was an untrustworthy person. His own family had blamed him for her disappearance; they wanted her back... but he had endured it, certain that it was for the best, that she would be safer away from his family... If anything he had made her worse; he had chased her away and in to the hands of other vampires. She had changed, the carefree and gentle person of his memories seemed to have disappeared; the person he had fought against his own temptation so hard to protect was gone.

The image of her merciless laughter remained embedded in to his mind, her bright red eyes blazing brightly with disgust for him. Lucy was not supposed to look like this, her laughter was supposed to be warm and friendly, not cold and heartless. Her eyes were supposed to be a warm golden green, like sunshine on pale grass, or ripe apples, not the color of fresh blood. She had left her life, his family had suffered, and now she was living a life that she should never have had to simply because he had been unable to control his emotions.

* * *

**A/N:** _I hope you guys liked this, I wanted to get a little of Jasper in to explain his behaviors. The next chapter will be more about Lucy; it's going to be a bit back and forth for the next few chapters following them both.:D_

_Let me know what you think! Thanks!_


	16. Chapter 16: Gives You Hell

**Chapter Sixteen: ****Gives You Hell**

* * *

_'Now you'll never see, what you've done to me.  
__You can take back your memories they're no good to me,  
__And here's all your lies,  
__You can look me in the eyes,  
__With that sad sad look that you wear so well.  
__When you see my face  
__Hope it gives you hell.'_

_The All American Rejects - Gives You Hell_

* * *

_"What are you doing here?"_ The cold voice of Jasper cut through her thoughts like a sudden ice storm. Closing her eyes tightly Lucy tried to ignore the image that refused to leave her mind; the cold eyes, the anger... the sudden shock and wave of regret that he hadn't been able to mask quickly enough. Charlotte wouldn't ask any questions if she returned late; the woods provided a good room for fuming.

_"I brought a present for Esme... and Carlisle, of course. Something I have found on my... adventures." _Her voice had been uncharacteristically sweet, amused. He felt guilty at seeing her; her tiny figure, shining red eyes, and pointed features. It had taken a few months for her to get used to seeing her own reflection. The eyes were the most shocking; it seemed they would never dull from the shocking red, though after some time had passed, she had come to enjoy the effects of it. Yet he pitied her for it even more; he was remorseful over what she had become. She wanted to twist the knife in his proverbial stomach, cause that pain to spread throughout every inch of his body; she wanted him to suffer as she had.

Cursing under her breath Lucy kicked a log that was well over twice her size, the rotting wood soared through the air, crashing against a tall tree with a thud. Her resolve had been perfectly strong so long as she looked to Jasper; his facade of anger returned quickly, only helping to fuel hers... yet the moment Esme appeared her thoughts crumbled. Her warm face was nearly as daunting as Jasper's... the sadness; there was no hope in hiding her own pain to the empath in the room; she wanted that family. Esme's warm embrace, loving conversations... the hopes that after a few years pass she would still have those people there, loving her; that she could continue loving them without worries. Yet so long as Jasper remained around, she would not be welcome in that home.

Her heart tore to pieces at the thought of how much he truly disliked her. Sitting quietly on a log she watched the water in a small river babble past. It was a smooth and refreshing sound, though it did little to calm her nerves. She had unknowingly given him her trust once more, only to have it thrown in to her face... though this time, he had not died; he had defied her. He betrayed her.

* * *

_It was midday in the beginning of August, 1863. Her feet had blisters from walking, and her legs were numb from the pain. Her cheeks would have taken on a deeper red were it not for the dirt providing a decent screen for the sun, a dark crop of freckles that she had never before seen were sprouted across her cheeks._

_"Miss Lucy, we must be going." A woman's voice called. The young girl looked up from the water as she splashed her face. It was an older woman from town, the woman whose daughter she had given her jacket to a few nights prior._

_"Thank you, Eleanor." Lucy nodded politely, smiling warmly as she took her hands from the water, smoothing her hair down and pulling it back with her one remaining yellow ribbon; the other had been lost somewhere on their travel out of town. Her bonnet sat on the ground, with a sigh she dusted it off, following the older woman as she pulled it over her unruly hair, tying the now browned ribbons under her chin. It smelled horrible; she smelled atrocious... but they were alive. If she showed the women of her town that she was suffering it would solve nothing._

_"You've got to walk with us." Eleanor said. Her dress was a dark cream, covered in brown dirt despite having been washed that morning. Lucy smiled, waving out a dark jacket and shirt as she walked towards the woman. She then grabbed a pair of pants from a limb on a tree and followed her._

_"I will be quite all right, ma'am. Though I thank you for your concern." Lucy nodded her head with a smile, holding the young soldiers uniform as she walked briskly through the trees where other women and soldiers were picking up to walk for the day. They would be home by tomorrow this time, or so Major Whitlock had said._

_"I know better than to argue with you, though the young soldiers may not be as wise." The woman told her, Lucy nearly wanted to laugh at it. Perhaps she was a bit stubborn at getting what she wanted. She attributed it to having grown up in a wealthy family that had given her everything. It wasn't to say that she had never worked, she enjoyed helping Marietta with chores, and always begged her mother to allow her to the market for shopping the produce. Yet, despite this, she had never taken well to being told "no." The woman smiled, bowing her head as a sign of respect before disappearing. Lucy had quickly taken to being a respectable figure within the town; they looked to her for guidance. Women who were twice her age, with a higher stature... she was their hero... not because of her stubbornness, or because of her position in life... but because of what she had lost, because she had not killed herself, as many women had been heard of doing._

_"Major Whitlock, I've got your uniform for you." Lucy said outside of the officers tent. She heard laughter from within, and within seconds another man exited._

_"Thank you, Miss Merriweather. You are too kind." The man chuckled deeply, grabbing the uniform from her as he entered the tent. "Here's your uniform! Smells like that broad, too! If you don't take her, I will!"_

_"Silence, Edward." The annoyed voice of Jasper carried out the tent. Lucy held back a soft laugh as she approached two large horses that were tied up besides it. Jasper had not spent much time with the other officers over the past few days; having spent a great deal of time with her. He had been a perfect gentleman, and it made her giggle to think of this Edward fellow trying to embarrass him. Undoubtedly it had worked. _

_"I apologize for Lieutenant Michaels." Jasper's tall figure emerged from the tent, she turned from a large black and brown horse to smile, his cheeks held a slightly red tint to it._

_"I apologize for your uniform being damp." Lucy smiled, turning back to stroking the horses soft hair. She had never been allowed very close to horses as a child, and found them fascinating._

_"It is no bother, thank you very much for washing it. It feels much better." He told her, approaching the horse. "We will be walking straight through the night, and in to the town."_

_"Will your company stay in town long? Or must you leave right away?" She asked, glancing up to him as he secured a saddle on the horse._

_"We're meeting another company there, it depends on what our general says." He told her, kneeling beneath the horse to fasten it. He was so gentle and calm with the animal; he wasn't remotely fearful of it; it must have been due to his raising on a farm. She wanted to be that comfortable with animals._

_"Will you force me to walk with the women and children?" She asked him, casting a sideways glance while running her fingers through the long mane._

_"What?" He looked up to her, standing besides her with his brows slightly puckered in confusion._

_"While we return to town, will you force me to walk in the center with women and children? Or will you allow me to walk with you again? I don't mind the danger, I trust you!" She pleaded firmly. Her heart yearned to stay with him, for the fear that would she walk with the women and children, she would find that he had never truly existed._

_"I would very much enjoy having your company while I patrol, though it would be selfish of me to risk your safety." He told her firmly. She frowned, sighing as she folded her arms across her chest, looking up to him darkly._

_"But I do not __want__ to be safely with my women, I want to be with __**you**__." She said in exasperation. "Please do not make me go with them. Allow me one more day of your companionship. We may, after all, never see one another again."_

_"Don't say that." He told her in a stoic tone. It was demanding. His eyes looked intensely to her, and made her stomach flutter excitedly. He wanted to see her after the war. He wanted to see her now._

_"But it is possible! You cannot deny it!" She told him defiantly. A thick knot found its way in to her throat at the thought of him dying. He was her hope, the string that pulled her along, that not all was lost. It seemed silly to think that in only a few short days she had become so infatuated with a young man, though she had heard from other women of it happening more quickly. She nearly wanted to lock him up in her cellar until the end of the war to ensure his safety, though that would help nothing. He was a strong fighter, their country needed him. "You cannot tell me that our men do not die every day. I know more than any of these women that they do, I..."_

_"I'm sorry, Miss Merriweather." He said suddenly. She hadn't realized how emotional she had become until he was hugging her. It was a closer embrace than the two had held before. She had never embraced anyone other than her parents, and children. Yet he was hugging her, and she was sobbing in to his chest. The only thought in her mind was the fear that he, too, would die. That all of these men would die. "Please don't cry."_

_Instinctively her arms wrapped around him, holding him tightly to her as though he would disappear at any moment. Even after washing he did not smell very well, and it was inappropriate to be so close with a man that was not family... but she didn't care at this moment. Her fears of social etiquette were currently non-existent, the only thing she wanted right now was to stand right there, in the middle of the woods, holding this strange man that she had just met._

_"You may walk with me. I promise you that so long as I am around, no harm will befall you." He told her with such determination as his hand smoothed down her mess of black hair. "We will not speak of such ill events, and I shall be particularly safe so that you may rest well."_

_"Thank you." She said quietly in to his chest, resting her cheek against his shirt. He was warm, and comfortable. She trusted him, and believed what he said, even when common sense told her not to, to try harder to protect herself and her name._

_"We've got to get going." He told her gently, his voice softened to nearly a whisper. Sighing she acknowledged that he was correct, this moment had to end. Reality had to return, and she was forced to remember that they were at war._

* * *

Reality always returned. Each time that Lucy had been foolish enough to fall in to a comfortable state of contentedness reality returned. Jasper disappears, enemy forces shoot down her plane holding wounded soldiers and civilians, her 'friends' realize that she has not aged a day since the day they met her... watching everyone around her die, all of her relationships disappear before her eyes. She had thought that meeting the Cullens would fix that; they would prove that not all relationships ended after a few years... yet when it came down to it, they had done nothing but prove her fears to be true. Everything that she placed hope in failed. Her only strength in living had been that; living... though at least before she had been able to heal people; now she was no more than a blood thirsty monster that could do nothing but survive.

The smell of animals was not tempting in the slightest, though the smell of humans did not hold much lure over her either. The smell was delicious, yet withstand-able... the choice between humans and animals was like choosing between spinach and cheesecake. Ten times out of Ten she would have chosen the cheesecake; spinach disgusted her. She couldn't say _why_ it tasted so horrible, it just did... and she had never been good at forcing herself to do things that she found displeasing. It wasn't that she had lived a hedonistic life, at least not up until this point... she enjoyed helping people, and going to school. Working was something that pleased her... yet now, doing those things was nearly impossible, and she had found new things to have fun doing. Running, jumping through rivers, laying in the sun, reading books and counting the stars. Uninhibited things that she had never even taken the time to consider enjoying before... things that seemed so human, though at such an extreme there was little farther from it.

Warm sunlight on her cheeks told the small woman that it was now morning. She hadn't slept, though she had sat in one position, watching the water, for hours... time seemed to disappear, and a moment passed without any recollection. Time effected her little, and a few hours passing meant nothing to her. The thought of returning to Charlotte and Peter was not desirable; they would remind her of Jasper. Of the Cullens, and a life that she couldn't have. She would need to find a new life yet again.

Crunching twigs and rustling leaves caused the small figure to jump on edge, glancing to the source of the noise. A slight laughter echoed through the woods. At first she had thought it was one of her friends, though the laughter was unfamiliar.

"Don't worry, young one. I won't harm you." The man laughed, suddenly before her a short man stood. He was still much taller than her, though amongst men he was not very large. Perhaps 5'7" at most. His hair was a golden red, his eyes piercing as hers. "You are one of us."

"What do you mean?" She asked forcefully, a woman jumped down from the trees at his side, her hair was long and pale. She looked like a shorter version of Rosalie, her beauty radiating in the sunlight. Their eyes both a shocking red that looked like newborns; though their poise was not that of a newborn. Her eyes darted amongst the two, taking in their appearance quickly. They both had some scars on their arms, though not nearly as many as she had.

"We are immortal." The woman spoke gently, her tone laughing musically. Lucy frowned, she had already understood that much, though the wheels in her mind began ticking. _You're one of us_. The eyes, the scars... perhaps they were like her... perhaps they weren't truly vampires, maybe there were others like her.

"We have been tracking you for the past month, and would like to bring you back to our home. I am certain that you will find it much more enjoyable than living as you currently do." The man had a thick velvety voice that reminded her of melted chocolate. She had no idea who these people were... but she had nothing to lose. At the worst, they would enslave her, and kill her. She was always a step away from that happening regardless, perhaps these people could help her.

"Very well, I will go with you." Lucy said, dusting herself off slightly of dirt from the woods. The woman suddenly pulled a small vile from her jacket.

"Drink this. It will help to keep you from returning to human." The woman handed it to her. Lucy warily took it. She should have feared drinking something from a complete stranger; though nothing had killed her yet. The smell was horrid, like burning tar... yet bravely she downed the strangely thick fluid, that may very well have been tar for its thick, gooey consistency that burned her throat.

"What is this?" Lucy choked slightly on the awful taste. She wanted to vomit, though forced her gag reflex down.

"It is a mixture of venom, and other ingredients to help keep us in our vampiric form." The woman explained to her. Lucy nodded daftly, unsure of what to say.

* * *

A warm salty mist kissed the pale cheekbones on her sculpted face as Lucy sat besides the Pacific Ocean, her small toes wiggling in the wet sand. Her hair was long and sleek, dancing in the wind as rays of light danced off of her skin magically. There was only one side of the small island with sand, the rest was covered in sharp coral, and while it did not harm her in the slightest, it was far from comfortable to stand on. She had no idea of their exact location; she had been blindfolded while they took a helicopter there; to keep the location private. It was a beautiful, and exotic island in the south Pacific, for what she had been able to notice. It was very small, with a large and deep clear blue lagoon that was filled with many deathly animals within it. It was through a large underground cave that they were able to enter her new 'home.'

The weather was beautiful here, with the exception of ocean storms; though living underground took care of that. They were very interesting as a civilization; living in underground caverns that had been dug out in to such extraordinary structures that it seemed more something from a Germanic fairy tale than something that she was experiencing. They were all like her; drinking the strange potion once a week to maintain their 'vampirism' as they put it. They drank blood from large silver goblets, and lived deep beneath the surface like royalty. It was extremely surreal. There was one rule to adhere to, though it seemed as though it could be split in to millions at their desire.

_"You must never, under any circumstances, allow another that is not of our kind to know of our existence. Even the vampires must remain in oblivion. This is why we remain in this state; it keeps our kind safe from their suspicions. We are not to associate with them for fear that they will seek to destroy us."_ The tall man with waving pale red hair spoke to her firmly after having spent three days there. His name was John, and he was one of the 'guard' members in charge of keeping their secret.

_"But what if the vampires already know of my existence? They are aware of my differences."_ Lucy had asked quickly after he had spoken with her. The Cullens all knew of her strange peculiarities; as did many other vampires. Charlotte and Peter had been very kind to help take care of her, and the Denali coven did not know of what she was, though they had known to protect her.

_"They will assume that you have been killed, and will forget of your existence in time. You will remain here, on our island." _His words had been so final, so strong. _"What have they done to protect you? To care for you? They have rejected you, child!"_

A flock of migrating birds caught her attention as Lucy glanced up, sighing slightly. She would never be a human if she remained on the island. It was as though she were living as a prisoner in paradise. She had been given a mate; a handsome Italian man that she was told she could love in time. His hair was slick black, his skin an odd chalky pallor due to his olive skin tone prior to turning. Alberto was a nice man, though she felt no connection to him, and by his many mistresses throughout their large underground city, she knew that the feeling was mutual. Monogamy was not something their kind practiced frequently.

They may have lived in the center of Europe for as frequently as she was allowed outside; she was unsure of how long she had been there. Days and weeks seemed concepts of the past, she now measured time by how much she had done in the time. She had read one hundred and forty-seven books, done thirteen paintings, and composed three concertos since the last time she had seen sunlight. They had no clocks underground, and there was little way to see the time passing. Each time she stood outside, she tried to find a way to measure time by the suns movement, to remain as long as possible to catch as much of a day as possible and find a way to understand how much had passed... yet they had always pulled her back before she was able to find a pattern.

This was how an eternity would pass; behind their backs. The human race could find an extinction as they waited patiently underground. No one daring to fight against the leaders, not one soul wishing to fight. The monotony of it was tiring.

"Lucy, will you be returning soon?" The smooth voice of Alberto carried from the woods behind her. The birds singing seemed to add perfectly to the symphony that came from his voice. He was no more her mate than her babysitter.

"I'll come in soon. I'd just like to watch the sunset." She said, turning to the man with a soft smile. Neither held looks of compassion as he neared her, though both smiled out of politeness.

"The sunsets here are quite beautiful, are they not?" He commented, placing his hand on the small of her back as her eyes returned to the sea. She could see the sun setting in the west where she faced. A book she had read told her of how long the sun should take to set during different parts of the year. If it set more quickly, it was winter, slower summer. It had been spring when she came. The sunsets had been gradual.

"Yes, they really are. I do hate spending so much time underground, the earth is such a lovely place." She sighed, leaning in to him. Fighting was useless; there were guards everywhere to ensure that she did not disappear during her trips to the surface. They lived as outcast mutants, yet they had brought it upon themselves, refusing to function within society.

"One day, when all of the other beings have killed themselves, we will be allowed on the surface to enjoy and rule as we rightly deserve." He explained to her gently. It was a concept that she had heard many times. The vampires and humans would all die; leaving them to overcome everything and rule the world. "Then we will not be required to maintain lives as vampires."

"How would hundreds of us survive in this world alone? What point is there to existence? Wouldn't it be horribly boring?" She frowned; it was something she did not enjoy thinking about. Life would not be the same without humans, without the vampires... she did not want to live in a world where everyone was one of them...

"In time you will come to find that life is much more enjoyable with our kind." He told her, his tone held such finality that she knew there was no use in debating the matter.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Five hundred and sixty seven books. One hundred and twelve paintings. ninety-eight Concertos, and more uncompleted musical compositions on over ten different instruments than were worth counting. Without clocks or light to measure the passing of days, Lucy was forced to keep track of her minor accomplishments and hobbies as a means to track the time.

Large candles hung from the ceiling, casting a misleading warm light about the large room where a small figure stood painting yet another piece. With frustration she knew who it would be of; the golden hair was a beacon of annoyance at best. Compared to being imprisoned, she rather enjoyed being endangered.

"You are painting that man again." Laughed a beautiful woman's voice. Lucy ignored it as she continued to stroke the canvas with a delicate brown paint. "He is very handsome, were you in love?"

"We deeply hate one another." Lucy responded to the woman casually. The woman looked younger, perhaps 16 at most, though Lucy knew she was nearly 200 years old. The second youngest to Lucy. They rarely created new 'children' of their kind, and even more rarely were they allowed to remain in the 'human realm' as it had been put. Marie Leveau had been one of them; though she had lived amongst humans for hundreds of years, traveling about.

"You love him." She laughed. Lucy frowned at the girl. Annette was her name. She had been a beautiful french girl, her hair long and brown, her features perfect in every sense. Perhaps what enraged Lucy more, was not that this girl was stating it as though it were so obvious... but the fact that it was so painfully obvious. Images from her 'human' life were difficult to maintain, though his face graced her memory most strongly. Even as she fought hard to hate him, to resent him, the underlying feelings of attachment refused to leave. She hated him with every fiber of her being, she would not deny that, and she wanted him to die for what she was being forced to endure on account of his behavior... yet she found herself hating him even more for the fact that she knew she would have quickly forgiven him had he so much as asked.

"Perhaps." Lucy said quietly, nearly inaudibly, even to their ears. Admitting it openly did not make it feel any better. If anything, it made her thankful for living hundreds of feet underground in the middle of the ocean. Jasper would never apologize, and she would never see the Cullens again. A time would not come when she had to accept her feelings towards him, and she could continue to hate him as he deserved.

"Why do you not return to him?" Annette asked her curiously, sitting in an arm chair casually. Raising an eyebrow Lucy glanced back from her painting to see her voluptuous friend watching curiously. Lucy laughed dryly, shaking her head.

"You're right! Why don't I just _leave_ here, and go back out there?" Lucy proclaimed sardonically, her voice dripping with each word. Annette frowned.

"We do not get along very well, and it would be impossible to escape here." Lucy finally said, turning back to her portrait. Even being around Jasper as a jerk would be better than living underground with all of these people. She would miss Annette, though she would rather die than remain here for all of eternity.

"He would surely apologize after all of this time, I am certain he misses you." Annette said firmly. Lucy shook her head, laughing as she set her brush on the easel.

"And how are you so certain of this?" She asked, folding her arms across her chest, unable to hold back a smirk at the girl. Annette glanced around suspiciously.

"Many of us have special abilities." Annette began quietly, almost afraid of the others hearing her. Lucy approached her so that they stood more closely together. "I know that some vampires have them too, though ours tend to disappear, or at least lessen, when we become a vampire." Anne paused. "Did you have a gift?"

"I could heal people. I was a nurse." Lucy said quietly, furrowing her brows slightly. She hadn't been alone, many of them did have special traits, yet they were only active while in a human form. It was something that they rarely spoke of, and Lucy suspected that their gifts were kept secret for some reason that would make no sense to her. "Did you have one?"

"I assume that being a vampire we give up our abilities in order to be swift, and strong." Annette said in a gentle whisper. "While I was a human I was able to sense things; relationships between people, if you will. I was able to see the connection between two people. I was a matchmaker in my time."

"I see." Lucy said, trying hard to keep a frown from her face.

"You are meant for him; you have to go back. I can't see the future, but you have no place here. You need to be with him." The girl said softly, her hand resting gently on Lucy's slender arm. Lucy was unable to hold her scowl back in annoyance. She didn't _want_ to hear that she needed Jasper, that she _had_ to go back to him. She didn't have to do anything, and death seemed more desirable than either option at this point.

"No, I am not." Lucy responded stubbornly. Even if her emotions told her it was true, she would fight it. She wouldn't run to him; even if she wanted to be near him, she still hated him for what he had done. She didn't even care how he felt towards her; she wanted him to suffer in any way possible.

"There are ways to leave, you know." The taller girl said, her voice scarcely audible. Lucy's ears perked up as she turned to her friend. "It is risky, but..."

Nothing else she said even registered in Lucy's mind... she could escape. She could run away, and not be surrounded by these people... they may not kill as many innocent people, or live as wretched beasts... yet they were selfish, and greedy. They refused to admit that anyone else in the world could deserve to live there. She could leave them.

"Lu-" Her friend began, shaking her arms firmly. Lucy looked up confused; Anne's wide eyes were filled with curiosity and fear.

"Wh-" Lucy tried to ask, but Anne quickly raised a hand to her lips. Lucy frowned, Anne motioned her hand up to her ear. Lucy furrowed her brows, trying to listen.

_"...Seer has seen them coming for her. The vampires have a seer of their own and they have seen our location."_ A man's voice that Lucy couldn't recognize said. They were talking about Alice, most certainly... She had seen where she was, and was coming for her. They had not forgotten about her.

_"We must destroy them. A man and a woman will arrive here within the week; Althaea will not take the news well, so we must keep it silent from her. Spare them long enough to hear the location of the family. Dispose of them all." _He continued. Her dead heart clenched in her chest; thankful that she was no longer human... no longer able to truly show emotion. Alice and Nick would come to find her; and they would be killed. The entire family would be killed... she was cross with them, though she did not want them to die.

"I cannot let them die." Lucy said fearfully, envisioning all of those that she had once considered to be a family dying... being murdered behind her back as she was locked away in a proverbial tower. Ignoring the brown haired woman Lucy threw open the door to her room, storming down the halls towards the main hall where the voice had come from.

Two men stood in front of the large dining hall, both glanced up in shock as the small woman burst through the doors. They would have killed her; she had no where to run... yet somewhere within her mind, she did not care. She would provide what fight she could to stop them from killing the family of vampires.

"Don't you think the Volturi would be upset if you killed an entire coven?" Lucy countered, throwing out the best excuse that she could find. She didn't know a great deal about the Volturi; though she did know that they were a powerful group of vampires that ruled over the entire kind.

"Upset?" One of the men laughed; it was the man that had been talking. The other man was John; he watched her with amused eyes. "They would assist. The Cullen's are competition to them."

"Did you think that we opposed the Volturi?" John asked with a laugh. "We have the same motives. To keep our secrets. Naturally, we both wish to overcome the other; though for the purpose of public relations we have formed an alliance."

"I'm sorry, my child. They must not know of our secret." The man told her softly, as though he truly felt guilty for saying it.

"Yet we know their secret." Lucy said, trying to wrap her mind around what they were telling her. They knew about the vampires; they had always known about them... yet they kept their existence secret from the vampires.

"In time you will understand the importance of our secret." John told her gently. "Return to your room, and Al-"

"I don't want to understand the importance, and I refuse to return to my room. I will die sooner than I will stay here. I do not belong underground and I will no longer sit aside while you imprison me against my will." She stood firmly, her lips pursed tightly. "I do not care to live as a vampire, nor do I care to cower in the depths of the earth for fear of someone finding me."

"You were created for a reason, to assist in our society once we-" John began firmly, his red eyes glowing darkly. Were her heart still beating, it would have been throbbing against her chest in fear.

"Be calm, John." The unnamed man said with a slight grin to his face. It was more unsettling than the enraged expression that John held. John turned in confusion, his eyes wide as he looked to the dark haired man.

"You may return to the surface, and stay with the Cullen family for five years. You must return to your human form, and if we find that you have been bitten, or insufficiently cared for, they will be killed, and you shall be returned to us here for all of time." The man spoke to her, his eyes twinkling dangerously. "If, after five years, you have remained safe, and the family has accepted you as you are... you may remain above the surface for so long as you desire."

"Bu-" The red headed man began to dispute the other man. Lucy felt hope swell up within her; she would return to the surface, and the Cullens would be safe... so long as they took her back. Esme would undoubtedly take her back, and she could ignore Jasper well enough.

"Is it a deal?" He asked her curiously.

"Yes." Lucy responded firmly, nodding her head as she jutted her hand out. The overwhelming sense that she was selling her soul to the devil seemed to loom over her head. Surely this would not be such a perfect offer.

"You will leave once night falls." He responded crisply, shaking her hand as the corners of his thin lips pulled up in to a wicked smile.

"Thank you." She said with a slight bow before leaving the room, no longer wishing to be near to the men. There was something unsettling about them. If the Cullens did not take her back, they would be killed, and she would be forced to return... It all fell back to that; she would be forced to return if anything happened. Five years could pass quickly; she would be extremely careful, and make sure that they were always on guard.

* * *

**A/N**: _Thank you so much for reading this far. I would have posted this chapter sooner, but was acting up and refusing to let me log in. I'm not very happy with this chapter, though hopefully you guys don't mind it. It became something that I hadn't actually intended it to be, but it has everything I had wanted to include, though it is more like two chapters put in to one._

_The next chapter is all written out, so the more reviews I get, the sooner I post it! Have a great night!_


	17. Chapter 17: Yesterday

**Chapter Seventeen****: Yesterday**

* * *

_'Suddenly,  
__I'm not half the man I used to be,  
__There's a shadow hanging over me,  
__Oh, yesterday came suddenly. '_

_The Beatles - Yesterday_

* * *

It was raining as Jasper made his way through the woods back towards the large white house. He and Emmett raced to see who would return soonest from their hunting trip further North than the Olympic Peninsula.

"I'll beat you, little brother!" Emmett's loud voice carried through the woods as he attacked Jasper once more. They were hardly a mile from the house, and would be able to reach it within thirty seconds at best. Though now they were tangled on the forest floor, splinters of a tree shattered around the two men.

"In your dreams." Jasper growled viciously, attacking his brother with annoyance. Emmett had spent the entire trip trying to wrestle, or fight in some form or another.

"Are you having problems with Rose?" Jasper laughed as he rolled about on the ground with the larger man, crunching could be heard beneath the two as their already torn clothes grew even more tattered.

"At least-" Emmett began in response when a piercing scream emanated from the direction of their home. Both froze and darted away towards the house with such speed that a human would have seen nothing. 10 seconds had never passed so slowly as they feared the worst, neither knowing what it could have been.

Jasper's eyes widened as he entered the living room. Clinging tightly to the back of one of the taller wolves was the figure of a girl he had not seen in well over a year. She clutched to his shoulders tightly, her red eyes wide with fright as she was panting for breaths, the wolf beneath her did not seem to enjoy her position, though the others all laughed.

"Lucy, what is wrong?" Esme asked quickly, looking over the scene before her. The girl, seeming to finally sense that there were others around looked up to the woman. Edward was laughing besides Bella and Nessie.

"There..." She trailed off, her voice unsteady, shaking with each letter. Her hand shakily pointed out, though she was clutching on to the wolf as though her life depended on it. "i..."

"She saw a spider on the floor." Edward tried to maintain his composure. The room filled with laughter, though she didn't seem to bother growing embarrassed, she maintained her position.

"Can't you kill it?!" She whined, refusing to let go of her unwilling savior. She looked like a young child, her fear made _him_ scared. Even with the entirety of his family laughing at her, he felt frightened of whatever spider she had seen.

"What kind of vampire are you, afraid of a spider?" Jacob laughed at her, his grin broad as he snickered with his pack. Jasper shook his head, listening for the heartbeat of the small creature.

"I am not a vampire, you beast." She growled, her voice low and angry. Jasper had no doubt by the waves of anger coming from her direction that were she not so frightened, she would have attacked him instantly. Her heart beat faintly, but her skin was still pale, her hair much smoother than normal, her features more defined, and most noticeable, her eyes a strong red. The sound of the spider was coming from under the couch, he quickly jumped down, pulling the large brown spider out by its legs. It curled up in his palm, its heart rate increasing. The strange dark haired girl clutched the wolf-boy beneath her even more tightly, her eyes widened as she focused on the spider in his fingers, glancing back up to him. Emmett laughed boldly, grabbing the spider from Jasper quickly as he rushed in front of the girl.

"You're afraid of spiders, Luce?" Emmett laughed boldly, holding it inches from her face. Her eyes were plastered open, her quiet heart racing faster as her face seemed to turn green with fear. The fear was practically crippling as Emmett swung the spider from one of it's legs. A loud crunching that was followed by a loud cry of pain came from the boy beneath Lucy. The boy began to crumple towards the ground in pain as his shoulders throbbed at the pain of being crushed. She jumped up against the wall as though being threatened by an entire army. Suddenly, as the boy cried out in pain, she was shaken from her fear.

"Oh my goodness. I am so sorry!" She proclaimed, her eyes widened with remorse. "I didn't mean to hurt you!"

The old Lucy was there; when he had come to assume that she had become a complete stranger, there were hints of who she was. The strange fear gave her a humanity that he had feared she would no longer possess, and her worry for harming the wolf boy made it obvious that she was, at least not here, an entire monster.

"Get away from me, Leech." The young man cried out angrily, jumping up to glare at her. Suddenly she looked extremely affronted, her eyes widened with anger and disgust. The spider in Emmett's hand was all but forgotten. Jasper was thankful that Emmett took the spider outside, rather than taunt the girl... though he knew the man well enough to know that this tidbit of information would be stored away, waiting for an opportune time to spring it on her. Her eyes narrowed at the man, though suddenly Jasper felt a strong sense of nausea overwhelm his senses, she angrily stalked away from everyone to disappear upstairs. The door to her bedroom slammed shut angrily.

"What is she doing back?" Jasper asked honestly, wondering what had brought the woman back who had seemed so eager to leave the family.

"Please don't start fighting with her again, Jasper." Esme asked with exasperation "She _needs_ us."

With a frown he watched the rest of his family go about their daily business as though nothing strange was happening. His ears picked up a soft sound of gagging from upstairs, causing him to cringe as he focused on taking the emotions of Bella and Edward, rather than the girl upstairs. His mind was racked with unanswered questions as to why she had returned, why so suddenly with no warning. She hadn't even made a foul comment at him, or attempt to attack him as he had expected she would.

"Why don't you go make sure she is all right, try to make her feel more comfortable." Esme spoke softly. Jasper wanted to protest to tell her that she and him would only fight, and she sounded in no position to fight... yet he could not deny Esme.

His feet were heavy with each step, moving at a slow human pace as he dreaded the inevitable. There were no spiders to hold her back from attacking him, and there was a house full of people who would be more than eager to hear the argument between the two. They blamed him for her leaving, for her hard feelings towards the family... and now they expected him to make it right, to fix the wrongs that he had done.

The door to her bedroom was shut tightly. With a deep breath of unnecessary air he knocked lightly.

"Go away." Her voice wasn't nearly as firm as he had expected, it sounded muffled as she was more likely than not in the bathroom. Suddenly a strong scent greeted his nose, it made his throat burn with such anger that he nearly tore the door down to get in; yet he fought the urge. It was not _her_ smell that tempted him, but the smell of human blood.

"Can I help you, Lucy?" Jasper asked gently, pushing the door open slowly, one hand holding his nose closed tightly. She glanced up from the toilet where she sat; blood was smeared around the ivory toilet, her face had smears of it. Her skin looked more pale than usual, tears were filled in her eyes, her cheeks flushed a bright red. Every ounce of her felt uncomfortable, and pained... it was similar to the sensation he got when a student at school had come in with a stomach flu.

"Go away, Jasper. I really can't handle being bitten again." She said quietly, a wave of nausea erupted, though she was clearly trying to hold it down with little success. A large amount of red fluids poured out of her mouth as tears streamed down her cheeks.

"What happened to you?" He asked her, shocked to see the woman in such a vulnerable state. Despite the bright red of her eyes, and the knowledge that she had just broken every bone in the dogs shoulders, she looked defenseless, and weak.

"I ate something bad." She said with sarcasm, grabbing the side of the counter to hoist herself up as she flushed the toilet. She grabbed a brown wash cloth as she leaned over the sink, running cold water on the rag before wiping her face. A cup sat on the counter and she eagerly filled it with water, downing it quickly, swishing it around in her mouth before spitting it back in to the sink. A pale red fluid came out, remnants of blood in her mouth.

"What do you think happened?" She frowned, wiping her face down with the rag once more. She looked tired, and defeated. Scars covered nearly every inch of skin on her body, that he could see anyway. The black tank top made the scars stand out even further on her pale skin. She wore dark jeans, though he suspected that she had more scars town her legs. Her limbs were as thin as the last time he had seen her, her face more hallowed. She had a strange sort of haunting beauty to her that he was certain had come from the vampirism.

Ignoring him, she pushed past and in to her room; scars trailed her back. He understood stronger than before how the others had been so affronted by his appearance, by the scars that marred his skin. They were frightening, particularly on such a small figure. She opened a large window with little effort, a soft breeze rushing in with cool fresh air. The idea that she had been able to survive so many attacks made him wonder how many fights she had truly been in; how many she had killed. Judging by the scent of the blood that she had been throwing up, she had drunk blood from humans, which further explained why her eyes were such a vibrant shade of red. A sheer black sweater sat on the bed and she pulled it over her head; the only scars visible were now along her neck, and jaw-line.

"How many times have you been bitten?" He asked her with a frown as she leaned over the windowsill.

"How many times have you been bitten?" She countered, not looking back from the window that overlooked the small clearing in front of the house. Her voice was quiet, yet firm in defiance of him. She was still holding a grudge against him, though he could hardly blame her, he had chased her away from the family that she had come to think of as her own, forcing her to survive as a vampire. Daring a breath he could still smell the blood, though not nearly as strong. She had a strange scent, a mixture between the old scent of her blood, with the new scent of the venom that coursed through her veins.

"I know Esme sent you up here, but I'll be fine." She sighed with exasperation, she didn't want him around her, but she was too tired to fight with him. "Go out with everyone else, I'm not really up for being around people."

"What happened to you?" He asked her, his arms folded across his chest casually, his brows furrowed slightly in worry. He shouldn't have cared about her, he knew that much... but he was guilty, he had caused this. He had gotten close enough to her, and then he pushed her away because he couldn't handle the fear of himself. He had done exactly what Edward had done; he ran away from her so that she could be 'normal', without taking in to consideration that she would never be normal... or that there were things out there that meant much more harm to her than he and his family ever could. She scoffed a laugh, so quiet that human ears would have heard nothing.

"You mean Peter and Charlotte didn't tell you anything when the came to visit for Renesme? Alice and Nick said nothing?" She asked him, turning with a frown. She was tiny compared to him; her arms and legs smaller than even Alice's. Her voice was quiet, yet there was nothing soft about it. Much as before, he was reminded more of Jane from the Volturi, than of Lucy.

"No, though Peter and Charlotte refuse to speak with me. The entire family is very cross with me." He told her darkly, a look of smug satisfaction crossed her face as she yawned slightly. She wasn't tired, her body was exhausted, briefly he allowed his emotional barrier down and he realized the immense amount of fatigue that seemed to radiate from her.

"Good." She turned away and returned to the bathroom, from the corner of his eyes he saw that she was brushing out her hair. Long, in beautiful waves. Her hair had always been curly beyond belief, large ringlets formed naturally around her face... it was not elegant on its own, but it suited her... yet even her face was different now. Her face held an aristocratic air about it that he suspected her mother would have held; she would have fit in with the Volturi by her looks alone.

"I'm sorry for making you leave." He said after nearly five minutes had passed. Time should have went quicker for them, after being alive for so long minutes should have felt like seconds; yet it felt like each minute passed as hours; she stared icily in to the mirror, as though he were not even standing there.

"I know." She responded plainly. She did not accept his apology, nor did she feel anything from it. She proceeded to brush her hair; the motion did nothing, her hair remained the same as it had before. "Your remorse nearly makes me feel guilty."

"I'm sorry." He said quietly; trying to keep his emotions in tact. He had thought he was doing quite well at keeping himself in check.

"You ought to be." She said, setting the brush down softly, turning to look at him with her eyes glistening darkly. "This is your fault."

"What happened to you?" He repeated with a frown. She wanted him to suffer, she truly did hate him for this, he could feel it radiating from her, even as her shrill laugh filled the room.

"What happened to me?" She asked with a wicked mirth, stepping closer towards him menacingly. "What do you think happened to me? Do you think I went for a bike ride in the park? Perhaps a casual stroll down the boulevard at sunset, while eating ice cream and walking a small dog?"

He didn't respond, though she walked past him, shaking her head before sitting on the large bed in her room. He had never truly looked at her room before; it was inappropriate for a man to be in a lady's room, and she had always been very proper; to enter her room would have been disrespectful. She was watching him, though the innocent curiosity that had once been in her gaze was not present, it had been replaced with contemplation, and calculation; she was studying his movements, waiting to see his next move.

"If I allowed myself to become human, or rather, as human as I ever was, they would prey upon my weakness. If I stayed as a vampire, I had the power to fight back." She told him, not moving her eyes from his as she sat on the bed casually. Her voice was quiet enough that the others would have had difficulty hearing it. "I was as good as a vampire, and the moment I sensed weakness, I forced one of the foolish newborns to bite me. It was really no hard task, the slightest hint of blood and they go _wild_."

"You were with newborns?" He spoke darkly, envisioning what she had last said to him, a year before.

_'Maria told me to say 'Hello' to you. She wanted me to bring you the most delightful smelling little boy, though I told her that you were didn't feed on humans any more'_ Her voice had been so sickeningly sweet and innocent, undoubtedly part of the facade she had built up around herself.

"For some time, they were _very_ interesting." Her eyes glistened as she spoke, a brief image of her in school came to mind. She was amused at his rising frustration and anger.

"You stayed with Maria." He said, trying to keep his voice, and emotions, calm. Her cold nature made much more sense with the idea that she had lived with them. For some reason, the idea of her staying with the woman that created him enraged him.

"For a time; I learned some very interesting things about your past that you would never share with me." She spoke, gently picking at her perfectly manicured nails. Her nails needed no help to look better, she inspected them, much in a similar way to Rosalie when she was pretending to me human. Yet, there was something different about the way she did it, like there was something slightly off about it. Everything about her was off, looking at her, he _knew_ it was her, but it didn't feel like it was her; his mind didn't want to accept that it was her, that it was really the person from so many years ago.

"Why did you come back?" He asked her, forcing his anger at the realization of why he had not wanted her to be with Maria to subside. He knew that Maria would have told her stories of him, she would hear all about his colorful past that he had not shared with many. For some reason, he didn't want her to know his past; or at least, who he used to be. He knew that he had never deserved someone like her, even in his human life. The brief memories would still occasionally flicker through his thoughts, reminding him of their brief past together.

* * *

_The sun was setting slowly on the horizon; it was a welcome time in Texas. It meant that it would be cooler, though glancing around, the tall blonde major realized that many of these people were ill equipped to deal with the cold. The threat of battle had led the military to evacuate them immediately; many not bringing anything more than the clothes on their back. It had been a small suburb of Galveston that he had been in charge of. There were about 1,000 women and children, and a few older men, though most of the men from their town had went to war; many of which were not to return._

_His eyes fell on the small figure of a woman of the group. She looked very young, practically a child. She couldn't have been older than 17 or 18. She was obviously from a well off family, her clothes were some of the nicest there, her hair was in black ringlets. Her skin was fair, with a slight hint of tan, though he could tell she had never been required to work in the sun. Yet she now knelt down to two children from the town; her face was soft, it glowed in the pink light of the sunset, her eyes a pale shade that he couldn't quite see from the distance. She was smiling at the kids, and a young girl with curling blonde hair held her arm up. The woman looked at it warmly, and pulled a glove off to touch the skin gently. It wasn't the compassion she exhibited that surprised him, but rather when she pulled a blanket that she had been carrying and put it over the girl. She then lifted up her dress slightly, revealing the white petticoat. She then began doing something unexpected, she was tearing it with her hands. It must have taken all of her force, though she tore a long piece, and began wrapping it around the girls arm. Her lips were moving as she spoke to the two small children. The girl gave her a quick hug before the boy darted under her blanket as well. She smiled at them before standing. Her smile lit up her face as a few more children went under the blanket as the temperature dropped quickly._  
_She then approached another woman who had three children. They were sitting towards the outskirts of the camp; he wondered if perhaps she had been the daughter of the mayor, or perhaps someone of importance, as she walked amongst the groups with such a tall head that it seemed as though she was used to speaking with them. He watched as she pulled her cloak off and gave it to the woman, who looked as though she were one of the least fortunate in the town. She then hugged the older woman warmly, putting a hand on the heads of her children affectionately._

_"That's Lucy Merriweather." A voice shook Jasper from his thoughts as he curiously watched the young woman. "Her father built their whole village." He turned to see one of the men in his cavalry John Lewis. He was a good looking young man, a year younger than Jasper. "Lost everyone in the war."_

_"Everyone?" Jasper frowned as he looked back to the woman. She was kneeling down besides another group of people who had sat around a fire that another soldier had built. She looked so warm, and loving._

_"I've known of her since she was born; every boy in town tried sparking her, They'd be a fool not to. She's the kindest person you'll ever meet; rich, too. It's a real shame, but she's strong. But can you imagine losing everyone?" John frowned, folding his arms as he took a swig from his flask. She had finished her rounds of talking to everyone in the town and was now sitting on a log at a fire near the woods. She held a small cup with tea that another soldier in his company must have given her._

_"I'll see you later, I've got to go find my family." John patted his back before he disappeared. The sky was now a light shade of midnight blue, a dark violet. Stars were shining dimly, though within an hour the moon would be shining brightly. He watched her curiously; he hadn't been sure why he was so intrigued by her. Perhaps it was because she was so alone. From across the camp he could see her shiver slightly, despite being besides a fire. She had given away her jacket, and her blanket, leaving nothing for herself._

_"Would you like to use my jacket, Ma'am?" He asked her politely as he approached her fire. She glanced up somewhat surprised. Her eyes were the palest shade of green and blue, like warm ocean water. He had taken his jacket off and was motioning it to her. It was probably dirtier than anything she'd ever seen, he felt somewhat inadequate for offering it to her, though she looked cold, and he had nothing else to offer. She glanced to his jacket. He nearly thought she would deny his assistance._

_"Thank you, Major." She said with a slightly polite smile as she bowed her head quietly. Her voice was quiet, and soft; as he had expected it would be. Her dark curls fell around her face as she spoke._

_"Don't you have any family here?" He asked warmly, thinking that perhaps she had had cousins, or aunts and uncles at least. Her eyes dropped to her cup somewhat grimly._

_"No, I don't have any family." She spoke quietly, he almost thought he hadn't heard it._

_"Well, That's a shame. A beautiful girl like you without a family." He said to her in a polite tone. He felt a slight smile as her cheeks began to turn a slight shade of pink at his comment. "My name is Jasper. Jasper Whitlock. I'm a major in the infantry."_

_"It's a pleasure to meet you, Jasper. I am Lucy Merriweather." She said to him softly, politely reaching her hand out to shake his. Her hands were tiny; soft and clean. His hands looked almost brown in comparison due to the sun, and dirt. He lightly knelt down to kiss the top of her palm in a polite manner._

_"The pleasure is all mine, Ma'am." He told her, smiling slightly as he bowed his head and her delicate hand returned to holding her warm teacup._

_"Ah, Major Whitlock! I see you've met Miss Merriweather." The short figure of John Lewis said eagerly. Her pale eyes glanced up to him slowly, she looked pained before her eyes immediately turned to the cup. It was like her security blanket when she didn't want to look at anyone. She took a delicate sip of it._

_"Yes, We've just met. You know one another?" Jasper asked him with a frown. It seemed that John knew her, more than she wanted to know him. She had now turned her head up to look at the moon, it was higher in the sky, and made her skin look even more pale._

_"We grew up in the same town, Didn't we, Luce." His brown eyes were looking at her like a hawk; Jasper then realized that this man had not simply known Miss Merriweather; he had wanted to court her, though for whatever reason, he had not._

_"Yes, We did." She told him as she looked up at him, frowning slightly. She tried to laugh, but got choked up. "I didn't think I'd ever see you again."_

_"I didn't think I'd ever see any of you again either. It's been hard. We lose people every day." John said grimly, sitting on a log across the fire from her. "How are you doing?"_

_"I'm surviving. I want this war to be over." She said quietly, pulling the jacket closer to her body, a strange sense of satisfaction coursed through him as John watched her, frowning as he realized that it was Jasper's. "I want everything to go back to how it was."_

_"It will get better, I promise." The boy said firmly. Jasper frowned at him, it was impossible to promise that. He knew that you were not supposed to talk about things like war with women, but there was no use in lying._

_"John was best friends with my fiance." Lucy said, he felt her eyes on him. She was frowning. "He disappeared last month in Gettysburg." She then glanced back down to take a sip of her tea as she breathed in deeply._

_"He was one of the best men we had; A colonel in one of the best brigades we have. He probably killed hundreds of yanks." John said firmly as he took a drink from a flask. Somehow it had seemed fitting that the woman would have been engaged to a man of such rank and stature. He could almost imagine the man as a tall and proud man, perhaps from a well-to-do family in town._

_"John!" Lucy hissed angrily, her eyes looked angrily at him. "That is hardly appropriate to say. What would Wilfred say if he heard that tongue?"_

_"Darling Perfect little Lucy Merriweather; always the prim and proper southern belle." John tutted as he stood, feeling that his time was up. "It was nice to see you, Luce. Maybe we'll see one another after all of this is over."_

_She watched him walk away, tears filling her eyes as she looked even more pained than before. His comment had been one of jealous, and anger, and they had hurt her how he had wanted to. Jasper couldn't believe a man would act so callous towards a woman; other soldiers was one thing, but an innocent woman who had lost everything did not deserve it._

_"The war should be over soon." Jasper spoke softly, she glanced from the vacant space where John's figure had once been to look at him. She looked as though one word would break her. "Would you like some company?"_

_"Yes." Her tone was quiet, she glanced back down to the flames as he sat across from her. He watched as she sighed, taking a sip of her tea. She looked like a lost child; there was something that made him drawn towards her, more than the others he had met. He felt as though he had to protect her, to make sure that she was okay. For most of the night she didn't speak, occasionally she would glance up at him, look as though she were about to say something, though then she would simply smile slightly and glance back at the fire. He couldn't understand why, but having her chose to allow him to sit with her gave him a prideful feeling. A young farmers son, wearing a dirty uniform that hadn't been washed in at least a month, sitting with the most beautiful and well off woman in town._

* * *

Even as a human he had felt inadequate for the woman, and yet she had always been nothing but accepting. A wave of nostalgia washed over him as he glanced to her; feeling a strong sense of loathing at what he had created. Was this how she had felt when she first recognized him? The strong sensation of dread and regret? The pile of 'what-if' situations seemed to grow exponentially with each passing thought, while the remorse over what had truly happened seemed to worsen.

"I don't remember the last time I was bitten, but I haven't fed in nearly a week." She said quietly, holding a pillow to her chest as she folded her slender legs on the bed. Nausea was taking over her senses, though she closed her eyes tightly as though willing it to go away. "I don't really need the blood, it actually makes me ill afterwards. I suppose that makes me more of a monster." She laughed sardonically.

"You're not a monster." He told her, watching as she shook her head with the cold laughs.

"I killed people because I _wanted_ to. I had no temptation physically, the burning was perfectly manageable... but I enjoyed the taste, so I did it." She spoke softly enough so that no one else would hear. She was watching him with wide, fearful eyes. Years could have passed as the moment seemed to stop, though it was cut short when a wave of nausea hit her once more. She disappeared swiftly in to the bathroom. Taking a deep breath he followed her in, making sure not to breath when he saw her hovered over the toilet.

"Go away." She feebly told him before a thick red fluid poured in to the bowl with an unsettling sound. He hadn't been so close to someone throwing up in a very long time, and it made him feel like throwing up. Ignoring the ill sensations shooting through his body, he walked past her, opening a long window above the toilet that would have been well above her head even if she stood on her toes. The soft spring breeze swept the smell out in to her room, perhaps not making it any better.

"I want to help you." He told her softly, shutting the bathroom door and turning on the fan. Her stomach retched once more, emptying its contents in to the stomach. Truth be told, he had no idea how he would help her; he had a hard enough time fighting off her feelings. _What would Esme Do_? He asked himself firmly, keeping his mouth closed tightly, refusing to breath. He had never had to try stopping someone from being physically ill, so the most he could try was to calm her. Esme would probably have gotten a rag for her, and held her hair back; Esme would have been much better suited for this.

Sucking up his pride, he rinsed a rag in the sink quickly, and carefully pulled her hair away from her face. From a close distance he had been able to see her face clearly, though at this near a proximity it was haunting at best. Among vampire standards she would have been pretty; not gorgeous like Rosalie, or unique like Bella... but she could have easily passed as a relative of Alice's. Her features were pixie like, with sharp angles and childish large eyes. Had he not known her prior, her appearance would not have been so daunting, though compared to her usual self it was like looking at two separate people. A cold sweat formed on her forehead, her skin _looked_ clammy... tears fell down her cheeks unnoticed by her.

* * *

A wide grin spread across the pale features of Lucy as she erupted in to a fit of laughter. The sun was shining, and it had finally reached over 70 degrees. Emmett and Bella were currently wrestling in the backyard while Rosalie and Jacob played with Renesme, who giggled profusely at her mother and uncle. Bella had just tackled Emmett and a large hole filled the position where they had once fell towards.

"Are you going to let a _girl_ beat you like that, Em?" Lucy called out with a smile as Bella dusted herself off. Emmett jumped out, frowning with a growl.

"She's a newborn!" Emmett huffed, walking towards the group sitting on the back porch.

"Her eyes are turning already!" Lucy told him with a giggle. "Admit it, Bella's stronger."

"I let her win." Emmett grumbled under his breath grumpily before stalking towards Rosalie.

"Of course you did." Rosalie chided, patting his chest affectionately as Bella took Renesme away from her. The small curly haired child glowed in the soft sunlight, while the others all had radiant bursts of light shooting out from their skin as though they were covered in a strangely glittering cloak. Lucy glanced down to her skin with a sigh. She looked pasty white, her skin reflected the light, though only because it was inhumanly pale due to lack of being able to absorb the sunlight. A slight peachy tint was slowly returning to it, though it seemed nearly nonexistent to human eyes.

"Lunch time!" Esme called out happily from the house. Jacob jumped up eagerly, grabbing Renesme's hand as he led her in to the house. She looked closer to a five or six year old than a child only a year old. Lucy followed slowly behind Bella and the others, her hands shoved in to the pockets of her black shorts. Nearly two months had passed since she first arrived with the Cullens. The first month had been spent with her locked in a room vomiting, unable to hold any food down as her vampiric traits slowly dwindled. She could no longer run miles in minutes, her teeth could not cut through the tough flesh of animal skin, and she could hardly break a stick, let alone a rock, or bones. Her hair had returned to being unruly, and her face had returned to it's slightly more rounded and cheerful shape... the last traces of her past couple of years lingered in her pale eyes that once had been a light greenish golden, though now were an odd blend of orange and green as a result of the combating colors. Her vanity hoped that one day she would at least regain some human color to her skin, though she knew the scars would be a permanent fixture. It had taken four months, but she was practically her old self again. Her figure was slimmer, and she would never be quite the same... though Alice said it was worth it, and no one bet against Alice.

"It smells delicious, Esme. What have you made?" Lucy asked politely, entering the kitchen. The wolves and Renesme were already eating; her stomach churned with disgust at seeing the russet skinned men... another lingering remnant of her recent past was a strong sense of smell, particularly the disgusting scent of the dogs. They shoveled food in to their mouths as though they were nothing more than common mongrels.

"Just some roast beef, and french bread." The taller woman said with a warm smile as Lucy entered, standing besides her as she grabbed a roll of bread, tearing a piece off before sticking it in her mouth.

"Mmm. It's even better than it smells. Thanks!" Lucy said with a grin as she stuffed another broken off piece in to her mouth, walking away from the kitchen and towards the living room. Unceremoniously, she threw herself between Emmett and Bella. She pulled the remote control for the video game from his hand, causing his character to swerve off of the track.

"Hey!" Emmett called out in an annoyed tone as Lucy grinned innocently, holding his controller as she shoved the remainder of her roll in to her mouth, holding back her laughter.

"Hmm?" She asked with a mumble through her full mouth. She was chewing quickly, swallowing a large bite that she cringed as it went down somewhat more harshly than she had intended for. Eating regular food still felt strange, and nearly everything tasted the same; it was quite a disappointment to smell a delicious chocolate cake, only to realize that it has the same dull taste of a slice of bread, or a potato that had just been pulled from the ground and had dirt covering it.

"You made me lose!" He protested, his arms folded across his chest.

"I wanted to play." She told him, batting her eyelashes innocently, her teeth bared in a broad grin. He wasn't truly upset, he could have stopped her from even touching the controller; she had no misconceived notions about her ability to surprise anyone in the house. It served as yet another reminder of the fragility of her state. Giving up the bad sides of being a vampire meant giving up the benefits of it as well. Being physically ill, weak, slow, and having hot and cold flashes were not what she had hoped for in returning to her 'original' state. Yet being a vampire was no longer an option. She would remain strong, and be 'human'.

Even as a vampire Bella was not very good at video games, Lucy found it easy to beat her quickly. Grinning with laughter as Emmett laughed loudly at the dark haired girls.

"Lucy! Let's go shopping!" Alice sang musically as she entered the room. "I had a vision of it happening. You won't say no."

"I am starting to think you're lying about these visions of shopping trips. You're mistaking day dreams for visions, and forcing me in to them because no one bets against Alice." Lucy responded with a smirk, raising a delicate eyebrow to the girl who looked severely offended at that statement. Even as she huffed in indignation she sounded musically beautiful. Lucy would never sound that magical again, she would never have the ethereal beauty of Alice.

"You're still coming. I am stronger than you." Alice said with a cheshire grin. Lucy's eyes widened. Alice would force her, she couldn't fight the small woman.

"Emmett! Protect me!" Lucy jumped on to his back, her arms latched tightly around his neck. One slender arm reached out, pointing to the small girl. "Get 'er!"

"Why should I help you! I just lost because of you!" He proclaimed viciously.

"Next time you and Jasper are fighting, I'll send him especially strong emotions, rendering him stupefied." She whispered quietly enough that the others would not hear. One of the few things that had lingered still yet was that her senses were still better than before, though they were worse than that of the vampires. At that moment Jasper arrived at the bottom of the stairs, looking in to the living room. Alice looked extremely amused, and Lucy was perched on Emmett's shoulder, whispering quietly in to his ear, hovered over delicately.

"What do you say, big guy?" Lucy grinned as they could feel the anger flowing off of Jasper at their closeness. She hadn't spoken to the man since the incident, though he had been nothing but kind to her since her return. He was trying to make up for having been so horrible to her before, and she would let him continue to try making up for it, she was still slightly bitter with him. Emmett was glancing to Jasper with a look of slight concentration.

"You got it, kiddo." Emmett patted her shoulder before jumping up from the couch.

"Tally-Ho!" She pointed theatrically as they charged towards Alice, who quickly jumped on to Nicks back. Lucy couldn't help but laugh at the game of chicken that had commenced in Esme's hall.

"I expected this from the boys... But you two?" Esme cried out, her eyes inflamed with anger at the risk of ruining one of her vases that sat on a small table besides them.

"She started it!" Alice proclaimed like a small child caught in trouble. Her slender fingers pointed firmly to Lucy, whose eyes narrowed slightly.

"You were going to drag me shopping with you! Don't I have enough clothes already?!" Lucy proclaimed darkly, folding her arms across her chest as Emmett held her calves carefully to keep her from falling.

"But Betsy Johnson just got in a new dress that you _need_ to try on." Alice told her quickly, giving her a look that was supposed to explain her insistence.

"Last week Louis Vuitton had a bag I needed to look at on Monday, and Barney's had a sweater I needed to get on Thursday. The week before that, Nordstrom's got in their fall couture. I realize you're excited, but can't you drag someone else?" Lucy whined. "I'm too tired to go shopping again."

"No you're not." Alice folded her arms. "You're going to go out and play frisbee with the wolves if you stay here."

"Really?" Lucy asked, her eyes lighting up slightly at the thought of going out to play in the sun. The thought then hit her that it was sunny. "You can't even go to Seattle, it's too sunny."

"It's overcast there." Alice said with a smirk. Lucy would much rather have played frisbee than go shopping again. It wasn't that she couldn't afford it, years of working as a nurse had given her a quite comfortable cushion

"I don't care what the two of you do, just stop rough housing inside. Take it outside." Esme said firmly, her lips pursed slightly.

"Emmett?" Rosalie's sweet voice carried from behind the four. Emmett turned around, causing Lucy to spin slightly with a frown.

"Sorry, Kiddo. Hunting Date." Emmett told her quickly, setting Lucy down on to the ground before darting after Rosalie.

"Ha!" Alice cried triumphantly, jumping nimbly from Nick's shoulders. Glancing up to Lucy with a grin she took a slow step closer.

"I don't _want_ to. I _need_ more sun." Lucy whined, folding her arms like a small child that was sourly defending their point. "Human skin needs sunlight to produce vitamin d... and my skin is pretty close to human. I need to be healthy."

"You'll be fine." Alice said brightly, dragging Lucy upstairs. There was no use fighting the small girl; she was stronger, and determined. Alice had a way of making things happen how she wanted them, simply because she refused to not get things her way.

* * *

**A/N**: _I liked this chapter a lot more than the last one. I probably should have just written the last one as two separate chapters so it could be timed better, but honestly, I didn't want to write it. You have no idea how tempted I was to simply write a little timeline and post that instead of a chapter. lol. I swear the information is important for later on... I'll probably rewrite it at some point, but today is not that day. I usually try to wait until I get 15, but the last chapter was total crap, so I just want this one up. :p_

_Hopefully you guys liked this chapter more. Let me know what you think. And, once more, the more reviews I get, the sooner I post the next chapter._


	18. Chapter 18: Battlefield

_**I do not own Twilight, or any of the characters from it.**_

**Chapter Eighteen: Battlefield**

* * *

_Can't swallow our pride  
__Neither of us wanna raise that flag.  
__If we can't surrender then we're both gonna lose  
__What we had, oh no._

_Jordin Sparks- Battlefield_

* * *

Alice's small yellow porsche sped along the highways to Seattle. Lucy rested her head against the side of a small window in the back. The air was tense, at least for her. Crammed in to the tiny backseat besides her was Jasper. His arms were folded, and he was currently staring out the window with his jaw clenched.

As the minutes ticked by, Jasper seemed to become more and more uncomfortable, his eyes slowly growing darker. Unconsciously she scooted closer to the window. The biggest term of her agreement for staying there was that no one bit her; she hadn't exactly taken in to consideration Jasper's lack of control.

"Could we put the top down? It's really muggy in here." Lucy asked when she had finally sat through enough.

"Okay! I thought you hated having the top down!" Alice proclaimed brightly. She pulled the car over to the side of the highway.

Lucy frowned and dug through her small bag in hopes of finding some sort of hair tie or hat.

"No, I just find it somewhat dangerous to drive around with it down during the summer. But if you don't see anything bad happening then I suppose there shouldn't be any problems." Lucy shrugged, not looking up from her lap.

Finally a small pink hair tie stuck out at the bottom of her bag. Lucy grabbed it and hastily braided her hair over one shoulder. Truth be told, she _did_ hate having the top of the convertible down. Her hair was already unruly enough without the help of wind, but Jasper would be less inclined to bite her if the top was down.

The streets of downtown Seattle were damp from a morning rain. People littered the streets, turning to look at them. There was nothing inconspicuous about a yellow porsche filled with beautiful vampires. Lucy self consciously pushed her sunglasses up over her eyes. It may not have seemed entirely strange in a house full of vampires, though having orange and green eyes was not normal, and she hated the way it looked.

"Jasper and Nick are going to go shopping for Bella's birthday present." Alice explained as she effortlessly pulled the top of the convertible shut. Lucy smoothed out her jeans as she stood in the cool parking garage.

True to Alice's words, the sky over Seattle was plagued by light grey clouds. Lucy had hoped that Alice would be wrong, and that it would actually be bright and sunny. Her feet trudged through the fifth store that they'd entered, her legs were too tired to even lift them. She trailed her fingers slowly on the racks of colorful clothes.

"Oh, this is perfect!" Alice chided from behind a display. "You're going to look so amazing in this!"

Lucy had no doubt that she _would_ look amazing in whatever it was that Alice had picked out. Alice had impeccable style, and years of training. However, that did little to qualm her fatigue and annoyance at spending what had been a nice day indoors looking at designer clothes. Her closet was already overflowing with clothes from the current season that Alice _insisted_ she had need for.

"How much longer are we going to stay in Seattle? I'm getting really tired, Alice." Lucy groaned, her shoulders slumping forward.

There had been a time when Lucy could walk for hours without getting tired in the slightest, she would naturally get sore if she pushed herself too hard, but she had never felt so tired before.

"We'll leave after you try these on. We're going to buy that dress, it will look amazing on you." Alice darted out in front of Lucy to grab a bright green dress that she hadn't even noticed.

Lucy frowned as she was shoved in to the dressing room with an arm full of clothes. She held up a silky brown dress incredulously. The thin material looked much smaller than any casual dress that Lucy would have worn. She wouldn't deny that Alice was stylish, simply that it was out of character for her to dress so wildly.

Stripping out of her jeans and sweater Lucy took a second to look at the image standing in front of her. She'd never been particularly large, though she had never been too skinny either. She had been healthy. Yet the person in the mirror was hardly what she considered healthy. Beneath the feathered scars she could clearly see her ribs, her legs were like long twigs that could break in the wind.

Ten minutes were spent trying on the dresses and outfits that Alice had chosen. From flowing blouses to small dresses that hardly covered her butt. Lucy enjoyed it when Esme went shopping with her much more, though she tried to avoid shopping regardless of who went with her. It only served as a painful reminder of what had happened, and the grueling monster she had become.

She recognized that Alice was just trying to help her. Lucy had never felt so self conscious over her figure before, and Alice was trying to help her to dress nicely and feel more confident. She and Alice could pass even more for sisters now than ever, they were both what Bella had described as "thin in the extreme." Certainly some people would have strived for it, but her ideals of beauty were still stuck in the 19th century, when to have a beautiful figure was to look healthy, rather than skinnier than anyone else.

Slipping out of a black dress that she refused to buy, Lucy glanced to the green dress. It had wide white straps, and had a cute white flowery design along the bottom. The tags had already been removed, signifying that Alice had known they would be leaving with it. Lucy smiled as she pulled it up. Zipping the back up she couldn't help but agree with Alice.

Lucy twirled under the dim lights of the dressing room, watching as the bottom of the dress spun out. She slipped in to her heels to see how it looked. She could still see all of the scars that would have hardly been noticeable to a human, but despite that, she liked the dress. She tried to avoid wearing anything that showed the scars, resulting in a lot of pants and turtleneck sweaters.

"Well isn't this charming."

Lucy jumped in surprise, falling against the mirror as she clutched her hands to her chest. Standing in the corner of her dressing room as though he'd been there the entire time was Alberto. His curly dark hair was gelled back stylishly, and he looked like someone out of a James Bond movie.

"What are you doing here?" Lucy demanded, mustering what courage she could, though she knew by the smirk on his lips that he could hear her heart racing in fear.

Where had Alice gone? Surely she wouldn't allow a strange vampire in to her dressing room, but it seemed unlike Alice to simply disappear and leave her there.

"It would seem that your darling family has left you." He grinned, pulling his sunglasses off to look at her; his red eyes roamed over the dress. "You look much better like this than I expected. Perhaps I'll be able to convince them to keep you as a human."

"What are you doing here?" Lucy said, inching towards the curtain that went in to the main part of the shop. Panic was beginning to set in.

"You don't think that they would really want you after all you've done, do you?" Alberto purred, moving in the blink of an eye to block her from the curtain.

"You're even more of a monster than they are. How many people did you willingly kill?"

Lucy stood frozen against the mirror, unable to even open her mouth to speak. He spoke of her worst fears. She tried to shove them away, to simply ignore that part of her life... but it always came back to play when she slept, or when she was arguing with the wolves who hadn't understood why anyone would willingly act as a vampire.

At the time she had been able to rationalize that she was doing it to survive, and to avoid being taken advantage of. She lived with no inhibitions, doing what she wanted, when she wanted... Yet rather than granting her a sense of freedom, it made her feel horrible. She had acted foolishly, and should have had more self control. Her greatest fear had been that the Cullen family wouldn't welcome her after all that she had done.

"Come back with me, and stop pretending you belong here." His breath tickled her ear. Her body stiffened as she realized how close he was to being able to bite her. Even if Alice had come back and was able to stop him from taking her away, if he bit her they would still be killed.

"You don't deserve them, and they couldn't possible understand you like we do."

Her breathing felt shallow as she could feel him smile against her neck. She closed her eyes tightly, willing it all to go away. She couldn't believe that Alice would have left her alone in a shop. Hadn't she seen what would happen if they let her get attacked?

Hours could have past as her heart pounded in anticipation. But the bite never came. A deep growl a couple of feet from her caused her eyes to fly open. Alberto was no longer hovering above her, but was held against a wall by Jasper. She hated not being able to hear their movements. The men seemed to be holding a silent argument that she couldn't hear.

"I'll leave for now, though you should know that the only reason she has returned to your coven was to keep our kind from killing them." Alberto smirked to Jasper, pulling away harshly. "If I find she gets so much as a scratch your entire family will be killed. I will see you soon, my love."

"What are you talking about?" Jasper hissed.

Alberto disappeared with a blur of movement. A lingering remnant of what his human power had been. Lucy had never bothered to ask quite what it had been, though he was always much better at being stealthy than any other vampire she'd met. He had been changed in the 1960's; he had acted as a spy for the Italian mob. It wasn't that he could turn invisible, but rather that he could move so silkily that one had to strive to actually notice him.

"What is he talking about? How do you know him?" Jasper demanded.

Lucy glanced up at him, her stomach bubbled uneasily. She had managed to avoid talking to him since her first day back with the Cullens. She wasn't comfortable with him, let alone him being in a small dressing room with her. She found herself staring at the small scars on her hands rather than at him.

"Answer me, Lucy." He growled.

They had threatened her against telling them what had happened, or about the other immortals. The Volturi knew of their dwelling, though they were expected to keep the other vampires oblivious. Alberto had ruined everything for her.

"Tell me, _now_." She'd never heard him sound so vicious. She winced as his cold hands grasped her shoulders forcefully. Her eyes focused blearily on the pearly buttons of his long sleeve shirt.

"Can I come in?" Alice's high voice cut through. Jasper removed his hands, frowning down at her as he took a step away.

"Yeah." Lucy forced out, trying to steady her breathing.

"What's going on in here?" Alice glanced between the two with a hidden grin.

"Where did you go? You weren't supposed to leave her unattended!" Jasper growled to Alice, storming out of the dressing room. Lucy slumped her shoulders; staying with the Cullens had definitely been a humbling experience. Over 100 years of being self sufficient and independent had been thrown out the window and she was now treated like a fragile child.

"I had-"

"I'm going home." Jasper said, storming from the shop.

"What happened in here?" Alice asked in confusion.

"Can we just go home now?" Lucy asked quickly. She grabbed up her purse and sweater.

Alice furrowed her brows, clearly wanting to say something. Though the small pixie like woman seemed to decide against saying anything and merely gathered up some of the clothes.

"I already purchased these, so we can go right now. I don't know why you didn't like those dresses." Alice said, eagerly changing the subject.

"I don't want to look like a whore." Lucy said plainly. She wrapped her arms around herself uncomfortably, very self aware.

"Don't worry, no one else can see the scars, and you look great." Alice assured her. She stuffed the rest of the clothes in to a bag by her dressing room, grabbing her sweater as well.

"I look like an anorexic 12 year old." Lucy retorted dryly.

"No you don't, you look amazing." Alice chided, grabbing her arm and pulling her out of the shop.

"I'm sorry I left so suddenly, one of the cashiers got a paper cut so I had to get out. I'm surprised Jasper was able to come in here." Alice said. Lucy nodded silently.

"Nick hadn't even noticed Jasper had disappeared until he left the shop next door. I didn't even seen him go past." Alice mused.

"He must have sensed my panic." Lucy thought aloud. She knew that he could sense emotions from a distance if he tried, though she hadn't thought he would have zoned in on hers. Had he not sensed her fear and come in, she may not have ever seen them again. He had saved everything.

* * *

Bags were strewn across the floor of the blue themed bedroom. Lucy furrowed her head in to the pillows as though to drown out everything. For years she had longed to know why she lived so long, hoping that she would either die, or find others that lived as long as her. Now it seemed as though she couldn't go anywhere without being tracked down by vampires or her own kind.

She was caught between the political wars of the vampire civilization; the Volturi who wanted supreme power, and the Cullens, who were large in number, but happy to adhere to the Volturi. The Volturi were threatened by the large number of people in the coven, particularly due to the fact that so many of them were gifted.

Yet even other vampires could tell that the Cullen's were not out for power. Lucy assumed that they weren't, though she had long learned that she easily trusted and assumed the best in others when they didn't necessarily deserve it. It was a problem that she was working on, though she found life to be more enjoyable when she was trusting, and loving, rather than constantly being on guard and worrisome.

A large throw pillow fit perfectly over her head, suffocating her from any fresh air. As though the Volturi were not enough of a problem, the elders of the Immortal civilization had decided to hate the Cullens as well. One wrong move and they would be attacked by both groups before they could blink an eye.

'_You should tell Jasper.'_ The voice in her mind whispered.

She tried to bat the voice away, though she only managed to hit herself with the pillow enough times to successfully make her hair look like a birds nest. It was the same voice that had told her to regularly speak with Jasper; to strike up a conversation of any kind. He hadn't been unkind to her since her return, though he hadn't gone too far out of his way for her either.

'_If I talk to him, We're going to have to go over a hundred years worth of stupid drama... literally'_ She retorted back mentally. She could still hear the thread of hope that wanted to talk to him.

Lucy groaned as she sat up. Standing from the bed she tried to shake her hair out of being a complete mess. She knelt down on the ground, brushing hair behind her ears. Lifting open an old trunk she rummaged through a variety of clothes and photographs that she had taken from her home in Texas. Not everything in the trunk had been from Texas, though it was her 'History' trunk as she had proclaimed it.

Her fingers traced the rough edges of an old photograph that was brown and yellowed. She couldn't help but smile at the image.

* * *

_The streets of Charlotte, North Carolina were muggy and hot. Lucy and Charlotte walked the streets, stopping in to an old shop filled with trinkets. It was one of their favorite things to do while searching for lost or stranded people that smelled good. The thick, musky smell of antique shops made it nearly impossible to care for any human blood near to them._

_Lucy stopped at a box filled with photographs. Most of them were from the fifties and sixties, though a few looked older. She enjoyed looking at the photographs of family life throughout the decades. She had always wanted a family of her own, though being what she was made it somewhat impossible. She was happy enough to have Charlotte and Peter._

"_Have you ever found a photograph of yourself?" Charlotte asked with slight amusement as she looked through a second pile._

"_No, Have you?" Lucy laughed lightly at the thought of finding a photograph of herself._

"_Once. A few years ago I found a photograph that someone had taken of Peter, Jasper, and I in the 30's before he met Alice." She explained. Lucy nodded, looking through them almost hoping that she would find one of herself._

"_That would be really strange." Lucy said. Charlotte nodded silently, continuing to look through them._

_Lucy had nearly finished the pile that she was looking through, and her thirst was beginning to grow stronger. She doubted she would accidentally kill anyone, though she knew wiser than to stay somewhere and risk it._

"_Oh my gosh," gasped Charlotte. Lucy looked over, wondering what had shocked her. "You will not believe this."_

"_What is it?" Lucy set her pile down and leant over Charlotte's shoulder to see the photograph._

_The photograph was old, and dirty. It looked as though it had been stuffed in someones attic for years, and was left uncared for. Yet it wasn't the fact that it was wrinkled and torn that caught her attention._

"_There's three of them." Charlotte said, pulling two more from the pile._

_They were all in similar condition. Lucy reached out, lifting it to her face. Lounging in the photograph comfortably was the image of Lucy, sleeping on the lap of Jasper. It had been the last night that they had spent together. It was the last night that he had been human._

"_Oh my gosh." Lucy was unable to form any larger sentences. Even as she loathed Jasper, the pictures shocked her. She had forgotten that one of the boys from her village had brought a camera to take photographs of the soldiers._

* * *

The browned edges of the photographs had been impossible to clean. She had taken them to a photography specialist, who had been able to photoshop them, yet the originals were still dirty with a century worth of grime and misuse. She could hardly even remember having them taken, though the harder she looked, the more clearly she could see them in her mind.

* * *

_Lucy clung to the young Major's chest, trying her hardest to tone down her tears. Even after he had sworn that he would be cautious and allow her to walk with him, she was filled with dread. They would soon be parted, and she would no longer be comforted by his kind words._

_His arms wrapped around her stiffly. It was unusual for a young man and woman to be so intimate, particularly in public, yet at that moment she couldn't care for social etiquette or concerns. She had never felt so comforted by another person as she did with Major Whitlock, and the only opinion that mattered now was his._

"_I'm sorry." Lucy said sheepishly. She knew that they had to leave, and there was little time to terry. The soldiers had already begun to tear down the tent where they had changed in to their freshly washed uniforms courtesy of the women._

"_Don't move!"_

_Lucy jumped, turning to look at the man's voice. A boy around her age was standing behind a camera that he was settling._

"_Samuel, We really must be going. We don't have time to take a photograph." Lucy countered, removing her arms from Jasper. She folded her arms across her chest._

"_Come on, Luce. I'm sure your soldier would like a photograph to remind him that this wasn't all a dream." Sam said with a grin. Lucy felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment at his words. "It will only take a minute, and I'll get them printed out once we return to town."_

"_One minute won't hurt." Jasper told her, causing her cheeks to burn even deeper scarlet._

"_Stand still." Samuel said, darting out to the pair, positioning them for the photograph._

_Lucy tried to remain somewhat calm at the laughter that came from the other soldiers. Their positioning was much like that of when she and Wilfred for their engagement photos. Even as she could admit that her feelings towards the young man may not be entirely chaste, she didn't quite feel comfortable with this._

_The short brown haired boy stood behind his camera with a pocket watch. Lucy held her hands in her lap, trying not to fidget too much. Perhaps what made her feel more uncomfortable, was how comfortable it felt to be taking a photograph with a man that was practically a stranger. She found herself wanting the picture so that she knew he wasn't a dream._

"_Okay!" Samuel returned the lens cap, grinning wickedly as the soldiers laughed boldly at the pair._

"_I'm sorry. Samuel's father owns a photography studio in town, and he would like to be a newspaper photographer." Lucy said sheepishly, trying to get rid of the blush from her face._

"_I apologize if it made you uncomfortable, though I must admit that I would very much like to have a photograph of you to carry with me." He told her quietly. Any hope of fighting the blush was now gone._

"_I would be honored for you to carry my picture with you." She said, glancing back down at the horse behind them._

* * *

Lucy smiled at the photograph. It was slightly blurry, though it was clear enough that she could tell it was she and Jasper. He wore a faded uniform, she in a dirty yellow dress. Even in dark sepia tones she could see the blush on her face, the slight turn of a smile on their lips. Both stood tall and proud, as though they weren't in the middle of the wilderness and covered in dirt.

Her fingers traced the edge of it; she would have loved to have found the photograph a century prior. Looking at the photograph she couldn't help but think that the two looked close. They looked much like a young couple that was happily in love, rather than a townswoman and a soldier that had only just met.

Flipping the photograph over she read the unfamiliar pencil script that someone had written at some point.

'_Unknown Couple c. 1864'_

Of course it had been in 1863, and they hadn't been a couple, though from the posing they looked enough of a couple. She couldn't help but think that she had looked better with Jasper than with Wilfred. Wilfred had been much more societal, and Lucy had to work very hard to look better than him for any events. It wasn't to say that Jasper had been less attractive, but that it almost looked more natural.

Lucy cursed the voice in her head for overpowering her thoughts once more. It was pointless to fight it. The image that Madam Laveau had shown her continued to force its way in to her mind. Every time she had begun to successfully hate Jasper the images returned as a reminder. It was impossible to forget him or ignore him when her mind continuously returned to him.

"_You would have been wed after the war, and had five beautiful children... You both would have died of old age, very much in love with one another." _The words of Madam Laveau rung out loudly in her mind. The entire reason she had been made an immortal was because Madam Laveau had thought that she and Jasper were soul mates. Nearly 150 years had past and she still hadn't met anyone that affected her quite as he did.

Pushing the trunk open once more she rummaged for a pad of paper and a pen. Finding a sheet of lined school paper she settled for it. It wasn't exactly stationary, though she couldn't be bothered to look deeper. She had always been patient, and calm... though she was filled with the strongest sensation that if she didn't do something now, she would never have the chance.

'_Jasper,'_ began Lucy, writing out in her neatest penmanship.

She nibbled on the end of the pen as she debated what to actually write.

'_I regret having told you that you were a monster with no control, and I am sorry that I was so vengeful towards you as to turn everyone against you.'_

She wrote it and wanted to hit herself. It sounded horrible, though it had been the truth. She had been more than happy to tell Peter and Charlotte what had happened between them. Esme had always had a mothering tendency, and so it was easy to make her upset at the prospect of the two fighting so severely as to completely ruin her life.

'_I am sorry for anything else that I may have done to you.'_

The pen itched to write that he should apologize to her for everything that he had said. Even as she knew that she would forgive him easily, she recognized that a great deal of her problems had come from his insecurities. Yet now was not the time to dig wounds, or to make spiteful retorts. They had both acted childishly, and trying to place blame on one another wouldn't help matters.

'_I don't know what I did to make you regard me with such distaste, though I hope that we can be mature enough to look past everything that has happened. -Lucy'_

She fought against writing anything else that would be too strange. She folded it, slipping the photograph in to the folds. It only took a minute of looking through the bedside table to find an envelope, unfortunately she also found actual stationary. She debated for a second as to if she should transfer it.

Vanity won out and she copied it quickly using a nicer fountain pen. Not that it would have made a great difference, though she wanted it to look presentable. She stuffed the note and photograph in to the envelope.

His name was scrawled out elegantly on the cover of the yellow envelope. She tore up the original note and stuffed it in the trash. She began pacing slowly, debating whether or not to give it to him herself, or if she should have someone else do it.

'_Coward_.' Her mind snickered.

Lucy took a deep breath, smoothing her hair out as she looked in to the mirror. Her cheeks were slightly flushed, and the sunlight that came in through her window was bouncing off of her scars. She cringed, but pushed the thoughts away.

'_It's now or never. Just shove it under his door and run.'_ She repeated.

The familiar halls felt much larger than before. Lucy lifted her heavy feet, dreading each step towards his door. She felt like an idiot for doing this. She tried to cover any hopeful or worried emotions. She tried to think of happy, cheerful thoughts. Like Alice going shopping without her, or Emmett letting her sleep in.

The image of Emmett waking her up every morning caused her to stifle a laugh. She stopped at Jasper's door. She couldn't tell if he was in it or not, though she slipped the note under the crack and moved quickly downstairs. Hopefully Esme, or anyone, was home. She had raced straight to her room after shopping and hadn't bothered to look for anyone.

* * *

**A/N:** _I am so sorry that this has literally taken forever. My computer was busted, so I lost all of my files. And then I had sort of lost inspiration to write and was sort of frustrated with the direction that it had been going in. _

_Thank you to everyone that has reviewed, favorited, and put this story on their alerts. It means a lot to me, and hopefully this chapter isn't total crap. It took a bit for me to get back in to the swing of it. I'm actually pretty giddy for the next chapter though. _

_Please R/R, Let me know what you think. :)_


	19. Chapter 19: Vanilla Twilight

_I do not own Twilight, or any of the song lyrics posted in my story._

_._

**Chapter Nineteen: Vanilla Twilight**

* * *

_And I'll forget the world that I knew  
__But I swear I won't forget you.  
__Oh, if my voice could reach back through the past  
__I'd whisper in your ear,  
__Oh darling, I wish you were here._

_Owl City - Vanilla Twilight_

* * *

The house was eerily empty as Lucy made her way through the main level. Her socks moved silently on the floor, practically echoing through the halls. The lights were all off, though it was still late afternoon and the large windows allowed for the natural brightness of the overcast sky to lighten the rooms.

A brief rush of panic grew at the sound of pots and pans crashing in the kitchen. Lucy stood still for a moment outside of the kitchen. They made no noise. She didn't dare to take a breath for fear that whoever was in there would realize she stood outside in the hall.

She pressed her back against a wall, watching a painting across the hall from her. She didn't dare move, despite the unvoiced logic of vampires being able to hear her heartbeat that raced loudly.

"You won't be home until Tuesday?" Esme's voice came through the air, cutting the tension immediately.

Lucy felt like an idiot and pried herself from the wall. Esme held a cellphone to her ear and stood in the center of the kitchen. The phone must have rung while she was putting the pots away. They had been waiting on a call from Carlisle, who was in New York. The hospital that he had worked at when they moved over to New York for a year was having a bad weekend due to an outbreak of the flu, and they had asked Carlisle to come in and help.

"I love you, too. Be safe." Esme smiled, hanging up the phone. "Hello, Lucy. How was shopping?"

"I've been through epidemics that were more relaxing than shopping with Alice." Lucy replied, bending down to pick up some of the pots and pans. "How is Carlisle?"

"Good. They're finally getting everything controlled, so he should be able to come home on Tuesday." Esme smiled. She grabbed the pans from Lucy and had put them all in to a dishwasher before Lucy had even realized they were gone.

"Where did everyone go? The house is empty." Lucy commented, opening up the refrigerator to get something to drink.

"Edward and Bella are at their house. Rosalie and Emmett are still out, and Alice and Nick went hunting after you got back. The wolves went back to the reservation. It feels strange here without everyone now, doesn't it?" Esme asked, producing a glass on the counter. Lucy nodded, pouring juice in to it.

Drinking was a strange sensation. Similar to food, most drinks had lost their taste to her. Though it didn't taste like dirt; rather everything had a taste akin to that of orange juice after she had brushed her teeth. Slightly acidic, and unpleasant. She frowned at the mango juice as it slid down her throat. It had once been her favorite, though now it hardly tasted different from anything else.

"That dress is very cute on you." Esme told her. Lucy glanced down, realizing for the first time that she was still wearing the green dress. Though now it was wrinkled, and looked as though she'd used it as a nightgown. "Did you take a nap?"

"No, though I suppose I should change out of it." Lucy noted.

She set her glass on the counter and began walking towards the stairs. Before she had even made it to the bottom Esme had washed her glass.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" Esme asked, appearing besides her and walking towards the couch in the small living room. Lucy looked up to the large television that was currently turned off. She didn't particularly care for movies, though it would be a nice way to relax with Esme.

"Yeah, I'll come back down after I change. You can pick the movie." Lucy smiled.

Esme moved at a human pace in to the room as Lucy began up the stairs. She had gotten up four of the stairs when the sound of the back door being thrown open reverberated against the house. Lucy jumped, her knuckles turned white as she clutched the banister. Esme looked alerted, jumping in to the hall between Lucy and the back door.

"Where is Carlisle?!" A man demanded. Lucy leant over the railing to see one of the wolves standing there in a near panic.

"He is in New York. What is wrong, Seth?" Esme asked worriedly. He panted for breath as though he'd run all of the way from the reservation.

"Paul phased next to Sarah." Seth breathed out. Lucy gasped, her eyes widening.

At that moment the taller boy entered, a bloody mess in his arms.

"Lucy," Esme looked up to the girl.

Lucy gave up on changing and ran down the few stairs, going up to the wolves.

"Esme, boil me some water, and start a kettle of tea." Lucy said, taking a deep breath as her stomach churned in disgust as the amount of blood covering what appeared to be a teenage girl.

"You, follow me and I need you to tell me anything you can about her." Lucy demanded, walking down the hall towards Carlisle's home exam room. She'd been in there enough times herself to know that he had nearly everything.

"Why should-" Paul began, not following.

"I have been a doctor for over 100 years, and at this point you don't have time to take her to a hospital so I suggest you start following me and telling me everything that you know." Lucy spat. She had little patience for dealing with the wolves. She adjusted her hair, putting the hair tie back in slightly tighter to keep her hair back.

"Um. She's 17, her birthday is August 12th. I don't think she has any allergies." Paul said quickly.

"What blood type does she have?" Lucy asked, turning on the light in the room. Tissue covered a long exam table. Paul lay the unconscious girl down. The brunt of her battle wounds seemed to cover her torso, large gashes tearing over her sides and chest. Her shirt was soaked in blood.

"I don't know!" He exclaimed loudly. Lucy began pulling out varying utensils from drawers and setting them in a tray.

"Get me a phone and call Carlisle." She demanded. He nodded, leaving the room in a hurry.

By the time Paul returned she had taken the girls vitals and attached her to machines to monitor her. She had cut the shirt off, and was cleaning up the blood before she began to operate. Lucy grabbed the phone with a clean hand, throwing the glove in to the trash.

"Lucy, Paul told me that you're operating on Sarah." Carlisle said.

"Yes, her name is Sarah Call. He phased and attacked her. She has lost a lot of blood and I need to find her blood type, as well as get transfusions." Lucy said quickly, preparing her items for cleaning the wounds and sewing it up.

"I see," began Carlisle. She could hear him typing away.

"Are you-" Paul asked.

"Get out; go get cleaned up and I'll come talk to you when I'm finished." Lucy said harshly, her eyes narrowed at the man. Paul looked affronted but exited the room regardless.

"Lucy?" Carlisle spoke up.

"Yes?"

"She has type A. I will have Edward bring you some blood. Is there anything else you needed?" Carlisle asked her.

"No, thank you. I hope you're having a good trip in New York." Lucy said, quickly hanging up as she began to work on the girl.

Lucy had worked through wars, so brutal life threatening gashes were nothing new to her, though she could feel her temper raising at the thought that some idiot of a boy had done this on accident.

It had taken her nearly an hour to sew up the wounds. She was putting on a hospital gown when someone knocked on the door.

"Come in." Lucy said, fastening the straps behind the girls neck.

"How is she?" Edward asked, holding out a small cooler.

"She'll survive, no thanks to the idiot wolf." Lucy said.

She pulled out a large packet of blood and hung it on a rack besides the pain killer drip.

"Thank you for doing this." Edward said, walking back to the door. His eyes were turning to a dark black.

"Thank you for bringing me the blood." Lucy pushed a smile. He exited quickly.

A pad of paper had been used as a make shift way to monitor her progress. She used bleach to clean up the spilled blood, though with a glance down to her green dress she realized it would never be wearable again. Sighing she looked through the drawers to see if there were any more clothes to change in to.

She opened the door, peaking her head out cautiously. No one was in the kitchen. Frowning she narrowed her eyes to a shadow on the back porch.

"PSST!" Lucy said quickly. Sarah wasn't waking up any time soon, though she didn't want to draw any unneeded attention to herself.

The back door slid open and Jasper entered, looking somewhat confused. His eyes turned black within seconds.

"What?" He asked tensely.

"Can I have your shirt?" She asked, holding a hand out sheepishly. She kept herself behind the door, not wanting to wave fresh blood straight in his face.

"What?" He was confused.

"Your shirt. May I have it, please?" She pleaded, glancing down the hall as she leant forward to see if anyone else had come.

"Okay..." He took it off quickly, slipping it in to her hand.

"Thank you." She smiled politely, shutting the door before he could say anything else.

Lucy frowned as she pealed the green dress off. Her stomach was covered in the blood of the girl.

"I liked that dress, too." Lucy sighed quietly. She put the dress in to the sink and poured bleach on it to help mask the blood oder. Using a rag she washed the blood from her body. When satisfied that she was mostly sterile she pulled on his shirt.

The pale white and blue plaid material barely reached to mid thigh, the sleeves falling well past her hands. She rolled the ends, pushing it up to her elbows. She'd never actually worn a man's shirt before, and it felt somewhat scandalous. Though the fact that Alice had made her try on skirts and dresses that were shorter made her feel somewhat more comfortable than she may have otherwise.

* * *

The smell of blood was drenched in the house. Esme had opened the windows and was currently cleaning the floors to cover it, though Jasper could feel his throat burning the second he entered it. Rather than test himself he chose to stand outside on the back porch. The stars were beginning to dot the sky, and clouds lined the horizons in purples and pinks.

The back door slid open cautiously. Jasper glanced to his side to see Lucy step out. She was so tired that she was practically sleeping as she walked towards the steps that led down to the back yard. He was surprised to see that she was now wearing his shirt, the sleeves pushed up. Between his smell and the bleach that she had apparently bathed in he could hardly even smell her blood, let alone the other girls. He took an unconscious step closer towards her as she leant on the railing, her eyes looked out in to the distance unfocused on anything in particular.

The floorboards creaked beneath his feet, causing her to jump, a rush of fear. He'd never seen her quite so jumpy.

"Oh, it's you." She sighed in relief, turning back to the horizon. "My smell isn't too much, is it? I tried to clean all of the blood up."

"No, you smell fine." Jasper answered. She nodded, sitting down on the steps.

"Come here." She said, patting the spot besides her.

"What is it?" He asked, cautiously taking the seat besides her. He wondered if she would finally tell him what had happened earlier that day.

"Help me sleep, please." She yawned, leaning her head against his shoulder. He doubted it could have been comfortable, and it was the closest to friendly that she had been towards him in years. "I never have nightmares when you're around, and I haven't slept decently since I got here."

"Shouldn't you-"

By the time he had started speaking she'd fallen asleep. Her face glowed in the warm light of the sunset, the scars on her legs painfully evident. She had rarely worn anything that fell above her knees, so he was surprised to see that the scars continued all of the way up her thighs, disappearing beneath the shirt. There weren't as many as he had, his were so numerous that they had feathered everywhere, giving his skin a strange texture. While her arms were similar to his, the ones on her legs seemed to stand out more.

He debated whether to keep her there, or take her to her room, though a loud crashing sound in the woods made his decision. Moving fluidly he lifted her with ease, making sure to keep her modesty protected.

Holding her with one arm he jumped nimbly to an open window on the second floor. He always kept his window open so that he could smell any predators before they grew too close.

Steadying himself he glanced down to make sure that she was still asleep. He sent her calming waves, though she remained unmoved. He smiled in spite of himself as she moved slightly, nestling her head in to his chest. He'd never quite understood the satisfaction that Emmett had felt when Rosalie had worn his shirts around the house. It seemed somewhat silly to take such pride in it. Alice had stolen some of his shirts in the past and worn them, though he was more often annoyed than pleased.

Yet as he glanced down to see Lucy sleeping soundly in his arms, wrapped up in one of his shirts, he was filled with a strong sense of unplaceable pride.

* * *

_The tall figure of major Whitlock walked through the camp to help them set up. They had settled for the second night. He had spent the entire day of traveling speaking with a small woman from town. She followed besides him at the end of the line of women and children. She never complained or slowed, which was more than could be said for some of his soldiers._

_His feet were tired as he walked towards the soldiers tents. He felt relieved to sit down in his tent, and was even more thankful that none of his tent mates were in. His eyes shut gently, willing himself a few moments rest._

"_Miss Merriweather, you are lookin' mighty fine today." The voice of Merry, a younger soldier in his battalion, said lightly. Jasper opened his eyes, his body tensing slightly._

"_Thank you, Merry. You look fine as well." Lucy laughed politely._

"_I heard about Wilfred, I'm sorry." Merry said solemnly._

"_Yes, it's quite unfortunate. We lost a great man, but he died a proud soldier as he would have liked." She answered, her voice nearly quiet enough that Jasper couldn't hear it._

"_I heard that your sister had a baby! Congratulations." Lucy said, changing the subject._

"_Yes! Ma and Pa are visiting her now." Merry explained. "You think you'll get married and have kids soon?"_

"_I don't know, I think I'll wait until after the war. Maybe I'll meet a nice young soldier and move to somewhere different, like the Dakotas, or California." Lucy answered. He could see her polite smile in his mind._

"_I'm sure you'll have no problem finding a willing man." Merry laughed. "It seems you've already gotten a jacket out of one. I wish I'd gotten to you first! Who's the lucky man?"_

"_This is Major Whitlock's, and he kindly offered it to me last night because I was cold." Lucy answered. "I was just looking for him, too. Have you seen him? Miss Jacob's made some lovely tea and I wanted to offer him a cup of it for all of his kindness."_

"_Well bully for you! I think he's sleeping in his tent." Merry said loudly. "I can wake him if you want."_

"_Oh no! I'd hate for you to do that! I'll thank him later. Have a nice night, Merry." Lucy said. Jasper could hear the crunching of her shoes as she walked away. His eyes were heavy as he lay back._

_The tent flap opened, Merry walking in. Jasper opened his eyes and looked up with a frown._

"_Can I help you?" Jasper asked._

"_What is your intentions with Miss Lucy?" Merry asked, his arms folded across his chest defensively. "I like you, major, but she's like a sister to me, and I won't see to her gettin' hurt by anyone."_

"_I have no intentions for Miss Merriweather. She is a very nice girl." Jasper said, surprised to be having this talk with one of his soldiers. He was hardly the type of man to entertain women as they toured through towns, so it felt odd to be on the receiving end of a warning._

"_I'll tell the other soldiers she's yours; they'll leave her alone." Merry grinned broadly. Jasper couldn't dispute the man before he disappeared out of the tent._

* * *

Jasper walked towards the door so that they could go to her room. As he reached out to the knob he noticed a small yellow envelope on the ground. Kneeling down cautiously he picked it up. He recognized the handwriting as Lucy's.

"For a vampire you sure move a lot." Lucy grumbled as she moved in his arm.

"I was taking you to your room. I'm sorry." He answered politely, feeling guilty for waking her.

"Okay. Thank you." She yawned, wrapping her arms around his neck and falling back asleep promptly.

He held the letter and opened the door, curious as to what she had written him. His throat burned at the closeness, though the stench of bleach helped to lessen the potency of her scent.

The halls were empty of anyone else, though the sound of the wolves breathing heavily downstairs seemed to shake the walls. He hated having them over so much, though the others enjoyed their presence, and Jacob had imprinted on Renesmee.

He doubted they realized how lucky they were that Lucy was there to save the girl. From the smell of blood alone he could tell that she had dealt with a serious injury.

Lucy's room hadn't changed since the last time he'd been in it. The sheer curtains that hung from the four poster bed were pulled back, a pile of throw pillows had been dispersed over the bed, the blanket wrinkled as though she'd lay down earlier. He tried to juxtapose her so that he could pull back the covers with his free hand, setting the envelope on a nightstand. The lights were off, and her room was on the opposite side of the house as his. His room could see the setting sun, though she had preferred to see it rising. Her room was next to Edward's old room, and across the hall from Esme and Carlisle's rooms.

As he tried to set her awkwardly on the bed she refused to let go of his neck.

"Don't leave me." She pleaded quietly. He doubted she was fully awake, but her voice sounded small and soft, like the Lucy in his memories and not the Lucy that he had grown accustomed to seeing.

"I promise I will not leave you." He told her seriously.

She seemed satisfied and let go, curling in to the bed and pulling the blankets over herself. Jasper sat on the edge of the bed, watching as she fell asleep. The cushioned mattress compressed beneath his weight. Lucy moved towards him, curling in to his side. He felt slightly confused by her sudden change of attitude

"Because I'm safe with you." Lucy mumbled in to a pillow, answering his unspoken question. Her breathing was slow and steady.

Jasper had always liked her room. The walls were a pale blue, while everything else was either a warm wood tone, or sheer white. The comforter was a deep navy blue like the nights sky with a light silver embroidery over it that looked like shooting stars. It was a relaxed style that wasn't busy, and made no attempts to look anything that it wasn't.

Once he was certain that she had fallen completely asleep he grabbed the letter from her night stand and opened it carefully as to not tear the paper. The yellow paper had a small flower design along the bottom edge. It was homely stationary that was fitting of Lucy. Alice had always insisted on having extremely formal stationary that was of the most modern style, but Lucy wasn't bothered by what was current, or fancy.

A small photograph fell out as he unfolded the paper. He grabbed it curiously, seeing unfamiliar writing on the back. it was dirty and smelled old.

'_Unknown Couple c. 1864'_

He turned it over slowly, looking at the couple. Staring at him from the old, dirty photograph, were the faces of him and Lucy. They were human, and both looked filthy. A large dark horse stood behind them, blurred heavily from moving. He wore his filthy confederate uniform, and she wore a muddy yellow dress, her hair tucked beneath a large bonnet.

They were a proud pair. Their backs were stiff as they smiled politely to whoever had taken the picture. Jasper wished he had remembered the event, though he had no recollection of when it had happened. It had to have been right before he'd been changed.

'_Jasper,_

'_I regret having told you that you were a monster with no control, and I am sorry that I was so vengeful towards you as to turn everyone against you. I am sorry for anything else that I may have done to you._

_I don't know what I did to make you regard me with such distaste, though I hope that we can be mature enough to look past everything that has happened. -Lucy'_

Jasper read the letter a few times as though something new would appear. She was apologizing to him. He had forced her to leave a loving family and travel alone for years, and she was apologizing to him. His guilt over everything began to return.

He blamed himself for her scars, and the nightmares that plagued her. She hid well beneath a happy exterior; joking with Emmett and shopping with Alice. She had even played with the wolves outside frequently. Though no one else could feel the emotions that she fought with. The constant fears, the sudden self conscious feeling that followed her everywhere. He could sense that there was something strange about her from the moment she had returned; her reluctance to leave the house, her sudden jumpiness and fear over little things, the slip of her self-conscious feelings any time Alice tried to dress her in something that was not fully-covering.

After her first day back she had made it clear that she was avoiding him, and he had obliged, keeping his distance from her. But he was happy that she had asked for his help. He was being given a second, or perhaps third, chance to prove himself to her. She needed protection, and he would not fail her again.

* * *

Lucy slept comfortably, unstirred by anything. She had no dreams, and no nightmares. Nothing but silent sleep... until she was woken by voices.

"..._waking up._" Lucy heard Esme say. She opened her eyes slowly, pulling herself up and glancing around in slight confusion. Jasper was sitting up against the wall on her bed, a book laying in his lap. Esme was in the doorway.

"What's going on?" Lucy squinted. She didn't want to wake up, though she knew that she should. She had to check on Sarah, despite Edward agreeing to watch over her as Lucy slept.

"Alice has seen Sarah waking up soon. It's 2:30 in the morning. I'm sorry to wake you, but you said you wanted to be woken up to check on her." Esme smiled warmly.

"Thank you, Esme." Lucy yawned, throwing her legs over the other side of the bed. "I'll be down in a minute."

"Okay." Esme said with a smile as she glanced between the two. Lucy tried to rub the sleep from her eyes, and ignore her hair being a mess. She knelt down to find a pair of pants in her dresser.

"I'm sorry for everything I put you through." Jasper said behind her. She pulled a pair of jeans on to her lap and glanced back. He was making the bed for her.

"I know." She smiled slightly, standing up. She left him to enter the bathroom.

Lucy sighed, glancing at her tired reflection. She couldn't remember going to her room. She could vaguely remember asking Jasper to help her sleep outside, though that had been downstairs, and many hours prior. She hadn't expected him to carry her upstairs and actually stay with her. Everything that had happened that day left her with a perplexed feeling, and she was too tired to try and sort through any of it.

She looked longingly at the shower, but knew that she could do that later. She brushed her teeth, washed her face, and pulled her hair in to a sloppy pony tail.

She pulled on her comfortable jeans. They were somewhat skinny legged, but were worn, and had holes in just the right places. Alice hated them. Mixed with Jasper's wrinkled skirt she could already imagine the lecture she would endure from the pixie.

When she returned to her bedroom Jasper was shutting the bedroom window that she hadn't realized was open.

"Thank you for staying with me, I slept very well." Lucy said with a small smile. She knew he could feel her slight awkwardness.

"You're welcome, I am glad I could help." He answered. She opened the door and began walking towards the downstairs. Jasper followed besides her in silence, holding his book under one arm.

"Where did you find that picture from?" He asked. She furrowed her brow for a second, trying to figure what picture he had meant. It only took a moment to click. She could feel her cheeks heat up faintly at the realization that he had read the letter. It may not have held anything deeply sentimental, but he had been right to say that she was overly proud; apologizing, truly apologizing, was not something that she did often.

"Charlotte found them while we were in North Carolina, there's three of them. A young boy from my town had taken them." She answered, holding the railing as she walked quickly. "The other two were essentially candids taken while we were sleeping."

"Oh." Jasper nodded. "Emmett tried to get a couple of those tonight."

"Oh no." Lucy cried, her cheeks burning even darker with a mixture of embarrassment and exasperation.

She reached the bottom of the stairs, looking up in to the living room where everyone was seated. Some of the wolves had moved in to the dining room to eat while they waited. She saw two people that looked older than the rest talking with Esme.

"Luce! I can't believe you would let Jasper stay in your room with you! I am appalled by your behavior." Emmett proclaimed fiercely. Lucy looked up to him with a deadpanned expression. "He wouldn't even let me come wake you up to tell you what Alice said."

"Had I known that all it took to keep you away from me while I slept was Jasper, I would have asked him to stay in my room every night." Lucy retorted, walking towards the kitchen.

"Lucy! These are Sarah's parents!" Esme said quickly.

"This is the _girl_ that saved Sarah?" The man asked with wide eyes. Lucy frowned, going straight in to the kitchen to grab something to drink. "How old is she? Is this a joke?"

"I am a magical creature that lives forever and heals people that medicine can't help." Lucy drawled.

The girls parents glanced back and forth to one another, clearly unsure of how to respond. Lucy poured a glass of juice, putting the pitcher back and walking in to the exam room. Edward was sitting in a chair reading a book.

"How has she been?" Lucy asked, taking a drink of her juice. She grabbed the pad of paper sitting besides where Edward sat.

"She hasn't woken up, though her color is returning, and she seems to be improving." Edward said. Lucy nodded, setting the papers down on a counter, along with her juice. Pulling a pair of gloves out she made to look at the stitches.

She was healing well, no infections had set in over night, and the wounds looked as though they were already closing up. Lucy took her temperature, and marked her new stats down, which were similar to the last ones that Edward had taken. The painkiller drip had stopped about an hour prior, and the pouch of blood had been completely emptied. She cleaned up everything, carefully removing the needles from her arm and putting bandages over the holes. She didn't want the girl to tear them out and cause more damage.

"Could you bring her parents in?" Lucy asked, glancing over her shoulder to Edward.

The bronze haired boy nodded, standing to leave. Lucy lifted up the hospital gown, checking the stitches again for good measure.

"Is she going to be okay?" The mother gasped, rushing to the side of the girl. She began pushing Sarah's hair out of her face, kissing her forehead.

"Yes, she should heal fine. She'll have scars, but the boys are lucky they were able to get her here when they did. She had lost a great deal of blood, and wounds that large have a greater chance of infection." Lucy said. She always hated talking to parents about wounds, particularly because she had always looked younger than many of her patients.

"We've been applying a cold compress to the wounds for thirty minutes every hour to keep the swelling down, and we took her off of pain killers an hour ago." She said, pointing to the wounds.

"She had four major lacerations that each took about 10 stitches. There were three smaller cuts on her right side that only took two stitches a piece for a total of 46 stitches." Lucy explained. She grabbed a small tube of antibacterial ointment from the counter.

"I am going to give you this tube of antibacterial ointment. She cannot wash the wounds for 24 hours, and after that she needs to clean them twice a day and apply this with a cotton ball." Lucy said, motioning what they would have to do. "She should be able to return to school fine, and I've made her an appointment with Dr. Cullen in ten days."

Lucy grabbed a small piece of paper with Edward's hand writing on it and handed both items to the father.

"She will need to be careful and cannot do anything physically stressful for the first couple of weeks. And for at least a month she shouldn't do any sports, lift anything heavy, no exercising, running. Um..." Lucy tried to think of anything she had forgotten. "Essentially she needs to take it very easy for the next few months until it has completely healed. If she does anything to open the wounds she needs to come back immediately."

"Thank you so much." Her mother cried quickly.

"Mom?"

Lucy looked down to see Sarah stirring. She looked confused. She looked back to Lucy.

"How are you feeling, Sarah?" Lucy asked with a warm smile. "I'm Dr. Merriweather, and some of the boys from the reservations brought you to me after a bad accident happened."

"My stomach really hurts, so does my head. What happened?" Sarah asked in confusion.

"I'm not sure what happened, though the boys were frightened for you. It looked as though you were attacked by a wild animal." Lucy explained. "You had four large gashes on your stomach, and three smaller wounds. I've explained it all to your parents, and I'll let you have some time to speak with them."

"Please don't do anything to rile her up, and I'm afraid it is best if you lay still. You've got a lot of stitches in right now, and the wounds are still fresh." Lucy smiled. She glanced to the machines keeping track of her vitals, writing down a couple of notes. She set the pad down on the counter and grabbed her glass of juice.

"Would you like me to get you anything to drink?" Lucy offered.

"Water?" Sarah said, she didn't seem to fully comprehend what was going on.

"Okay." Lucy smiled, stepping out silently.

"You did well." Esme smiled, hugging Lucy as she entered the brightly lit kitchen. "You saved that girls life."

"Thanks." Lucy returned the hug somewhat awkwardly. "She wants some water."

That was all it took for Esme to disappear to get the girl water. Lucy walked to the table where the boys were all gathered. Empty plates that once held food lined the large table. She narrowed her eyes at one of them.

"You owe me _big_ time." Lucy hissed. "You are unbelievably lucky that I am not a vampire, because if I was I would tear you to pieces, stitch you back up, and do it again."

"I could!" Emmett offered eagerly.

"No, you won't." Lucy growled, turning to look at the large man.

"Paul, you need to go in there and tell her parents what happened. Esme is to stay with you the entire time to make sure you don't do anything stupid." Lucy demanded.

Paul looked as though he was debating saying something, though the wolves all looked at him darkly. He trudged begrudgingly in to the room.

"You look very professional in that shirt, Dr. Merriweather." Emmett grinned. "I wondered why Jasper was walking around without a shirt on earlier."

"I was covered with blood, and I wasn't about to walk around the house naked with all of the wolves here." Lucy retorted, folding her arms across her chest.

"But when they're gone you will?" Emmett wagged his eyebrows suggestively.

"Jasper?!" Lucy called, looking around for the tall blonde man. He appeared in the room a minute later.

"What do you need?" Jasper asked, glancing between her and Emmett.

"Could you take Emmett outside and attack him or something?" Lucy asked, smirking as Emmett looked appalled at her.

"What?! You're not really going to listen to her!" Emmett said to Jasper.

"Is that all you wanted?" Jasper raised an eyebrow.

"Please?" Lucy asked, clasping her hands beneath her chin. "He is being inappropriate and crass."

"Okay." Jasper answered, beginning to unbutton the shirt he was wearing.

"What?! You are whipped." Emmett commented.

"I would have fought you anyways. You're being an idiot." Jasper said. "Can you hold this?"

"Sure." Lucy took the large white shirt, draping it over a shoulder.

"Are you going to hold my shirt while I fight?" Emmett asked to Rosalie who was sitting in the living room watching tv.

"Do I look like a hanger?" Rosalie retorted without looking up.

"But Lucy is holding Jasper's!" Emmett proclaimed.

"So?" Rosalie asked, continuing to hold the remote out towards the large television.

"LUCY!" Alice cried out, running towards the girl. Lucy widened her eyes, ducking behind Jasper and holding him out like a shield.

"Protect me!" Lucy cried, her hands grasping his biceps. "She's going to kill me!"

"Lucy! How could you ruin that dress!" Alice cried out. "It looked so cute on you!"

"I'm sorry! I had to save someone's life! I didn't have time to change my clothes!" Lucy cried out, though she refused to let go of her grip on Jasper.

Alice stepped to the side. Lucy moved a bit, pulling Jasper with her. One wrong move and Alice would drag her up to her bedroom and they would be playing Lucy barbie all morning, and the entire time she would be lectured on not being able to take decent care of her clothes.

"You could have changed in to Jasper's shirt then! He has plenty shirts like that and can lose a few!" Alice proclaimed.

"Jasper wasn't home then, and the only reason I asked for his shirt was because I was covered in blood and couldn't exactly walk around the house like that!" Lucy said.

"Then why didn't you change out of it?" Alice asked, her arms folded across her chest smugly.

"Because it is comfortable, and I was tired." Lucy frowned.

"Why doesn't anyone-" Alice started.

"Lucy, could you come in here?" Esme asked.

"Yeah." Lucy let go of Jasper and walked down the hall to where Esme stood, thankful for a reason to get away from Alice.

"They are wondering when she can go home." Esme said. She grabbed the white shirt off of Lucy's shoulder before she walked in to the room. Lucy glanced down, having forgotten that it was even there.

"Oh." Lucy said, approaching the girl. Lifting the hospital gown she checked the stitches.

"She can go home now if they're prepared to take her. She will need help dressing for the next few days, and shouldn't lift her arms, or bend." Lucy said firmly. Her mother nodded, writing things down on a notepad from her purse.

"Thank you, Dr. Merriweather." Her mother said, hugging Lucy tightly.

"It was my pleasure. I hope that she heals well, and if you need anything you can call Doctor Cullen or I at any time." Lucy smiled in response.

"Thank you." The mother gushed quietly while the father helped Sarah up.

"Thank you, Dr. Merriweather." Sarah smiled, wincing slightly as she stood up.

"You're welcome. I hope you heal quickly, without hitch." Lucy answered.

"If you don't mind me asking, how old are you actually? You look like you could be 16." Her father asked curiously.

"Haven't you ever been told not to ask a woman her age?" Lucy grinned. "You could say that I have aged very well."

Lucy stood with Esme as they led the small family out to their car. Sarah sat awkwardly in the backseat, smiling at the reservation boys that had come out to bid her good bye. They stood silently, watching as the car disappeared down the driveway.

"I'm proud of you." Esme hugged Lucy.

"Thank you." Lucy smiled.

For the first time in longer than Lucy could recently remember she felt accomplished. She felt content, and happy with something that she had done. Everything she had done recently had been for simple protection, or instant gratification, and it left her feeling guilty, and filthy. Yet nothing could match the pride that came with saving a life.

"Have you thought about going back in to medicine?" Esme asked, leading Lucy back in to the house.

As though to sense that the "normal" people were gone a loud rumbling crash shook the ground. Lucy rolled her eyes and shut the front door behind herself. The boys were wrestling again.

"I think I'd like to, though I should get better first." Lucy responded somewhat begrudgingly.

She had kept telling herself that she would get better, and everything would heal. Yet the more she thought about it, the more impossible it felt. She was holding an impossible hope in the air and waiting for it to magically happen. In her dreams she would return to looking annoyingly childish, the vampires would no longer chase her, and the immortals would let her remain with the Cullen's in peace.

"You'll be better in no time, you're almost looking healthy. Eat more." Esme reassured her.

"I'm also worried about vampires following me, and being unprotected." Lucy admitted quietly. She failed to mention that she was also frightened that the immortals would follow her to work and kidnap her; she was more frightened of that happening than vampires attacking her.

"I'm so sorry, Lucy!" Esme cried, latching back on to the girl.

Lucy felt awkward. Esme wasn't at fault for anything. Jasper had been the one that told her to leave; Esme and Alice had told her she would be okay, but she didn't blame them for what had happened. Holding grudges was never beneficial to anyone, and she would rather look past it all.

"Don't feel bad, it's not your fault." Lucy said, trying to comfort the woman. She thought of Esme as a mother, which was slightly strange seeing as Esme was actually younger than her.

"I'm fine now." Lucy assured her.

"We never should have let you leave, and we should have told you when the family moved. None of this would have happened." Esme said, hugging Lucy tightly.

"Everything happens for a reason, and time heals all wounds." Lucy smiled, pulling away. Esme was beginning to suffocate her, and if she hugged any more tightly she may break a few bones.

"I will never let another vampire touch you." Esme said firmly, scarcely loosening her hold on the smaller woman.

"You're touching me right now." Lucy said, the corners of her lips turning up.

"You are a Cullen now, and any vampires that try to come near to you will have to get through us." Esme corrected.

Lucy smiled at the warning, her fears from that afternoon continued to bubble behind her smile, though the small voice of hope rang out. Even if Alberto had gotten to her, Jasper had appeared in the nick of time to save her. Alice had made a mistake, but Jasper had protected her.

"Do you think you can count Emmett as an outsider? Waking up at 6 in the morning is getting tiresome." Lucy grinned.

"I will tell Emmett to let you sleep in from now on." Esme laughed, finally letting go.

"Thank you, Esme. I'm going back to bed now, my day has been much more eventful than I wanted." Lucy stifled a yawn before making her way back upstairs.

Lucy tossed her jeans over her trunk and slid in to the large bed. She had thought Esme ridiculous for giving her such a large bed, but those thoughts disappeared the moment she sunk in to it. Lucy had made a comment in passing that she had always loved hotel beds because they were unusually comfortable, and after that Esme had found the most comfortable, luxurious hotel style bed that Lucy had ever slept in. There was something divine about sinking in to a bed and being surrounded by warm blankets that smelled of lavenders and vanilla.

The room was dark, though she could hear the sounds of the boys fighting in the backyard. The wolves had undoubtedly joined in, and would be fighting all morning. Initially she had found it to be annoying to hear them up all night, though it brought a strange sense of comfort. There would never come a time when they had fallen asleep, or that someone had managed to sneak past them on the property.

She rolled on to her side, pulling a pillow to her head. Her mind raced over the events of the day, trying to wrap around everything that had happened. One of her greatest fears had happened, and yet she couldn't help but smile. Everything felt as though it was finally coming together.

She had nearly fallen asleep when the sound of her door shutting caused her to stir again. She sat motionless as she felt a weight sit on the edge of her bed. She smiled as the bed creaked slightly beneath his weight.

"If you are getting dirt on my bed I will be very angry with you in the morning." Lucy said tiredly in to her pillow.

"I showered before I came up." Jasper said with a slight laugh as he adjusted himself.

"You'd better have." She yawned. "I like this bedding, and some things are unforgivable."

"I'll remember that."

Her problems weren't solved, and the past hadn't miraculously disappeared. But she had a family, and she knew that things would finally get better. It had taken over two years, and she'd had to endure the lowest of lows to reach it. At that very moment she could fall asleep peacefully, knowing that the worst was now over. For the first time since she had left Texas she felt that she truly had a home where she belonged.

* * *

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_**PHEW! Please R/R to let me know what you think. We finally have some Lucy/Jasper action, it only took 120k words.**_

_**I actually wrote an entirely different chapter initially, and an entire different end of the story from the one coming now, but I didn't like it, so I started writing this one instead. XD**_

_**There is only really one more chapter after this, though it may end up as two more so I can tie up the loose ends without rushing it. So this is my question to you!**_

_**..**_

_**What would you like to see happen to Lucy and Jasper? (or any of the other characters for that matter.)**_


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